I just want to give up. I've lost hope of ever being happy.
Phalloplasty is booked in for may next year, I've been feeling like finally ill be complete, but now there's all these family and financial issues and I just want to give up.
My brother his wife and 2 babies moved in with my dad while renting their house out, they don't pay him a cent and his wife is a psychotic bitch that mentally abuses my brother and their 2 year old. Dad is supporting them while being abused so can't help me.
I live with mum an her partner verbally abuses and bullies me. I'm late for work every day because I can't have breakfast until he has left the house. Anything he can pick on me about he uses. He yelled at me this morning because I opened a new container of jam instead of using the one in the cupboard. I've had enough. I told my mum and she takes his side, she's telling everyone I yelled at him and he didn't do anything. I have no where to go, no friends and no support. My mum is supposed to be the one that helps me through this bit she is selfish a doesn't care or understand how I feel. I can't afford to move out its too expensive and I won't be able to have my phallo but I can't go home. I just want to kill myself but I'm scared it won't work and then they won't let me have my surgery.
Nobody cares or understands how i feel. Dad is sick of everyone foghtong and now says he is gonna kill himself, my brother is a selfish twat and my mum doesn't care and thinks I'm trouble and the sun shines out of her partners rear.
I can't go on anymore. I'll never be happy. Nobody will ever like me or want to be with me becuaee I look 16. My mum manipulates the entire family so even aunts uncles and cousins think I'm a psycho trouble maker. I just want it to end. I can't have surgery and move out, but I can't have one and not the other. Putting surgery off is not an option for me, it's already life and death.
I hate my life and I hate who I am. I wish I was born the way I should have been then I wouldn't need surgery and could get away from everyone.
Oh and I told everyone how I feel and nobody takes me seriously. Everyone thinks its a big joke and it makes me want to die even more to shove it in their face.
Hi Nicks,
I'm in Adelaide and have just caught your post. I can talk if you like and I will be on line for a while so we chat on the boards as well if you want.
I do know how bloody hopeless it all seems, and when you aren't getting support it is even worse. But killing yourself won't help it will just make your 'family happy and I don't think that is a good idea.
We can get caught up on stuff, I know that so well. I and many others have tried suicide. Luckily my attempts failed, which is pretty obvious!! And I'm glad they did. I did find the end of the tunnel and life is now good.
It will be for you as well.
If you are feeling really bad do call lifeline. I can send you the numbers. They talked me down and they are good.
Keep chatting to me OK
Cindy
If you end things, you'd just be letting your tormentors win. It's pretty natural to hate life, for a lot of people, and I totally understand where you are coming from. I think you're pretty wrong about thinking that you can't be happy, though, because you are capable of weathering this storm of drama and cruelty, and once you have, you'll be able to soar. You just have to take off, and that means riding against the wind.
You want your surgery more than you want your death, and I know you still want to be happy. You're a good person, and it'd be an awful waste if you decided not to pursue those things. The path is not going to be easy, and you know that very well, but you can take comfort in the fact that it's something you are capable of navigating. You'll need to cover your heart with steel, but you can definitely make it through this.
Please remain strong. It makes me incredibly sad that you're considering this finality... and I wish I could be there for you.
"Keep your chin up and stay strong, anyone who thinks people like us have a problem are the ones with the problem, remember that!"
Whoever said this is a pretty smart guy.
Looking at your avatar you are a very good looking guy. You reckon you look 16? I know many FtM tend to look like younger guys but you look like a regular 20 year old guy. Cute too :embarrassed:
Whoops.
What I meant was I like guys who wear ties well and you do.
Thank you everyone...I don't even know what I want out of my post...but I feel better knowing there are people who understand what this feels like unlike my family. It's true, I want my surgery more than death and I want so bad to be happy but I feel like just giving up. What is the point of it all when ill be Stuck in that environment and probably be alone my whole life. I've tried to kill myself before I started transitioning, being in the hospital while the drs and nurses tried to fix me was humiliating. I felt awful about it, like i was wasting their time so if I did try now I want to be damn sure it works...but I am too scared of what comes next if anything. I'm 50/50.
I wish the government helped pay for our GRS so we could complete our transitions and still be able to afford a roof over our heads.
I wish I was more active in this community as everyone is so supportive and caring of one another, but I'm so so so shy.
Nothing wrong in being shy. And nothing wrong in not knowing what the post was about.
You mention family and the rejection 'your' family has given you. We are also your family and we will not reject you. Your family here knows what it is like. WE live it, every second of every day.
We are the ones who walk the walk and talk the talk, and WE never give up.
Yes stuff is tough, and you are one hell of a guy to keep going. And how do you keep going? Because you are a man and that is what men do. They live their lives and they stand their ground and they face their problems. They overcome and they are independent.
Yes it can take time, yes it is not easy.
But guess what? Nature didn't give us the 'it's an easy life gene' but we do have friends and family. We are here.
There is nothing that we cannot do together.
Cindy
Hi Nicks,
I know you are hurting and that life seems to be worthless for you. That is not the case. Suicide solves nothing. It just means that they win. As long as you are alive, it's a defiant stand against their intolerance and small-mindedness. Some day they may see that their petty infighting just caused them to lash out at each other and cause more pain.
Endure, get your surgery and then you can start over elsewhere. Should you wish to leave your family behind, you would have a fresh start. It happens to a lot of us. You need to be strong for no one else but yourself. *hugs*
We're here for you Nicks. And we're not going anywhere.
Hi Nick, sorry you're having a tough go. You always have people to talk to here. It sounds like you need to get out on your own so you can set your own terms. Make it a goal to aim for. Hugs, Devlyn
Nicks,
I go through very, very dark periods & my depression can be debilitating...so I know how that desire to end it creeps in.
Look, my parents have always been narcissistic and physically & emotionally abusive. When my little brother was 16, he couldn't take his depression & my parents' abuse any longer. He shot & killed himself. That was in 1995. Know what? Our parents are still narcissistic, abusive ->-bleeped-<-s with whom I have had no relationship in years and my brother is dead.
Cut ties with your family if that's what it takes, and L I V E.
xo
Please stay with us. You are part of the family and I would be sad to see you were no longer here.
Your father is responsible for his own decisions so if he doesn't want to throw them out, it really is up to him. He is an adult. Personally I would tell them to get out and never return, and if they refused I would simply ring the Police and threaten to have them charged with trespass. Tough but it is self preservation.
I have been going through a tough patch myself but I refuse to give up. Sometimes it is hard not to let my reaction to what others say bring me down, but I know I will bounce back. To hell with everyone else, I am trying to forgive myself for how I feel about something that was said over the weekend that triggered a bad response a day later. It was suddenly too hard, just like the reaction you have described.
I have talked to a counsellor I know personally and and am trying to get back to appreciating that I have a lot of good qualities that more than counter the fact that I still have a bloke's plumbing. I am more than my genitals. If there are lesbians in this town who can't see past that to the point where they refuse to even make conversation, then stuff 'em!
As far as I can see you look the same as any other 20-something guy, and being attracted to women it is unlikely I would see you as a potential partner, age gap notwithstanding. I would be more than happy to relate to you as a male friend, no different to any of the students I go to Uni with.
I am trying to let a quote from Julia Serrano guide me," There are men with vaginas and women with penises, and the world is just going to have to get used to it." And I would add, "and pull its collective head in!"
Hang in there mate.
Karen.
nick, i can honestly say: i kno how you feel, and mean it
Death ends all, including the future. And the future is something that can always be changed, hence why we can transition ;D
I was raised as a child and taught a very genderless value, never give in, fight fight fight!
There's nothing I can say other than I've been in a situation where there I saw no other option but to kill myself and give in to the rigors of life, but I made it though and I'm so glad that I did. My best-friend/ex/honorary sibling (they were more of family than mine really ever had been, too many hours spent working and not enough spent with their child kind of killed our relationship before it started, and trying to parent out of a textbook never seemed to help either) was mentally unstable and was making me choose between them and the one person who had made me happy a midst years and years of depression. I couldn't face leaving the one chance of a respite from the hell that was in my brain, but nor could I abandon the person I cared about and had been through so much with, but in the end I had to think about myself and cut the ties with my friend because I had to look after myself.
That happened just under a year ago, but Halloween last year I was kept in hospital overnight after one of my suicide attempts. That's how bad I'd gotten, to the point that I had to be locked up in order to be safe, and even in there it was a constant struggle not to do anything. I don't know how I did it, and it was one of the hardest things, but I managed to pull through it, and now life has rarely been better. Actually I can't think of any better times; I have some friends, I have a future, but most importantly I don't have depression.
I never thought it would be possible to be happy - or even alive - but I am. You can make it too, just be strong and remember that although we don't know you personally and we don't know your exact situation we will still do what we can to help you and get you through this. You can do it, it's not as impossible as it seems. Take it in small steps and suddenly you'll realise you're over halfway there.
Nicks, I am not sure what to say for this, except to say I have definitely been there. I know that you can get thru this. I think a lot of people here care. If you want to message me please do.
Being mentally abused is likely to be a lot of your problem, I think. This is, I think, more of an issue than being trans. I had a very close friend who was abused and it took many years for her to get away from him and live the life she should live and stop having PTSD about it.
You look very handsome btw.
--Jay J
Maybe you could consider going back into school. Find schools that will give you grants and scholarship. Get a dorm if there are single occupancy or look for a roommate in an apartment nearby. Get a student loan if you must. A bad environment doesn't change unless something completely throws it out of whack. There must be some option for you, even if it isn't a great one.
You mention that you cannot move out because you have phallo scheduled a few months (less than a year!) away. If THAT is the reason you can't afford to move, then the best thing you could possibly do is wait it out and then move once you're healed from surgery.
Yes it will be expensive, you may be poor as all get out. You could end up in a group home temporarily, but you know what? You won't stay that way. And once you're happy with yourself and away from the fools and maniacs making your life a living heck, you will be GLAD you pushed through.
Phalloplasty is still just a dream to me. To be honest, it's not even on my mind because I can't imagine being able to EVER afford it. I had top surgery a few days ago and am getting metoidioplasty/urethral lengthening next year. You've already got a good thing going and clearly either make decent money, found an amazing deal, or are GREAT at saving. If it's the first or third, that will get you a LONG way in life. If it's the second, you still got a good hand there, brother.
******
As for your appearance and looking young, that is very normal for some guys. My cisgender male father still gets carded for alcohol, and I am old enough to drink now! People assume we are the same age though he's 20 years older than myself. When it comes to looking young, don't let that get you down.
Sometimes people think my fiance is my dad and I'm his son, because I honestly sometimes look to be about 12 or 14, but people don't date someone just because they look OLDER, in fact, the better you age the MORE people are going to want to date you. It may not seem that way, and being shy you are probably a little socially awkward like me so you can be missing positive signals and catching only the bad ones.
Please, just don't throw your life away. You're reaching further than many of us ever can, and there will be a way out. If you can't handle living with your family there are other options. Not good options, maybe not even ones you would accept, but they're out there. Sounds to me though like if you can tough it through a few more months with those human beasties then you will be well set to enjoy your brand new life, even if there is a rocky start to it.
Good luck, Sir.
Two Words: Conservation Corps
1 year long minimum wage paid program (housing is available) and you get to protect your states own natural beauty. Win-Win! Plus everyone loves a man in uniform.
Hope you're feeling better today Nick.
Quote from: Ep on October 20, 2012, 05:32:46 PM
Two Words: Conservation Corps
1 year long minimum wage paid program (housing is available) and you get to protect your states own natural beauty. Win-Win! Plus everyone loves a man in uniform.
Hope you're feeling better today Nick.
I think this is a great idea. Get away from people who poison you. I worked for VISTA back before it was Americorps. The big problem was it was not organized/structured enough for a young person. They have redone things a lot. It was really good for a couple more reasons: excellent health insurance (it's basically what Congress gets) and a little stipend that they put away for you. You could reup after a year, which I didn't do. I don't know if they still do the later.
Also please post. We are worried about you!
--Jay J
hang in there bud. it probably doesn't feel like it to you but you're so close.. don't give up.
When I was 20 YO I reached a point where I debated the old: "to be or not to be." The pain of living in the wrong body pretending to be a male for the rest of my life seem to be unbearable. That was 30 years ago.
I was in a different culture and time, and I made sacrifices to become financially independent, I married and got kids. Along the way I suffered alone, but there were many moments of happiness, so I survived and kept my dream alive.
Then finally, a few years ago, my time come, and here I am, still dealing with the "cards du monde," but finally happy being myself.
You are in a more tolerant world where the chances of transitioning when young is better, so courage man
So, dude, whatever you do, do not kill yourself, no way! man, plan and follow your dream!!!I
Quote from: aleon515 on October 20, 2012, 07:03:33 PM
I think this is a great idea. Get away from people who poison you. I worked for VISTA back before it was Americorps. The big problem was it was not organized/structured enough for a young person. They have redone things a lot. It was really good for a couple more reasons: excellent health insurance (it's basically what Congress gets) and a little stipend that they put away for you. You could reup after a year, which I didn't do. I don't know if they still do the later.
Also please post. We are worried about you!
--Jay J
AmeriCorps is another good idea but it could take him out of his state. I believe all the states have their own Conversation Corps or at least a majority do. The OP would need to check and see if their state had one and then apply through whomever his local recruiter was. I also recall after your year of service that Corps. members received a $5,500 education award (which is another good perk). Out my way most individuals who join the CC have an interest in pursuing careers in firefighting, forestry and conservation and use this as an opportunity to obtain more education and training. Overall, I think it's a good way to get out there and get your foot in the door.
Has anyone heard from him? His profile says he was last active 2 days ago...
Quote from: Alex000000 on October 20, 2012, 07:24:15 PM
Has anyone heard from him? His profile says he was last active 2 days ago...
Dammit. He's probably okay, but I hope he at leasts verifies that for us at some point. I think he should get away from the people who are hurting him. Postponing phallo to focus on feeling good about oneself and finding ways to function in the world might be more urgent.
It says he hasn't been active on the boards since 10/18... damn. Really hoping he just hasn't had a chance to sign on. Please check in with us if you're out there, Nick.
A moderator could have notified his ISP and sent them these forum postings so they could get in contact with the proper authorities. That probably should have been done 2 weeks ago but even if something terrible has happened it's too late to do anything about it now.
Nick, don't you DARE do that.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that is, truly, temporary.
The transgender issue aside, the unhappy home life that you are describing is something that MILLIONS of young people endure, whether children, teenagers, or adults. You are not alone in that. Grin and bear it for now. And if you want to go the extra mile, then make a gentle effort to allow YOUR own light and self-awareness to enlighten the lives of the troubled people around you. Offer words of genuine kindness and encouragement to the people around you who don't necessarily deserve it, and watch them soften. You yourself can be an influence on them, and help them in THEIR personal growth. Instead of engaging in anger, try killing them with kindness in the face of their insensitive and dysfunctional behavior.
Nick, please do NOT do anything rash like attempting to take your own life. Suicide is a very dark road that leaves a trail of pain and devastation, and your own soul will be so disoriented and damaged that the pain you are seeking to alleviate will endure on a different plane. Don't allow your feelings of anger and hopelessness to dictate your actions. In moments of stress, leave the home, go to the edge of town, and take a walk in nature...for as long as you need to. This will lower your stress levels in a big way, and connect you with the natural world, putting in perspective the temporary nature of your current crises.
You are a smart, aware, loving person, who is worthy of companionship and connection and you WILL find it when the time is right. So don't do anything stupid. *big hugs*
Quote from: Ep on November 03, 2012, 05:43:53 PM
A moderator could have notified his ISP and sent them these forum postings so they could get in contact with the proper authorities. That probably should have been done 2 weeks ago but even if something terrible has happened it's too late to do anything about it now.
I'm pretty absent and not going to claim to have seen anything in a timely manner, but I just want to point out that this is like eeyore-level pessimistic. It probably took a lot of guts for the guy to post on this forum. I'm hopeful that he's just pulling himself up out of the ditch and putting one foot in front of the other.
Not going to deny that my optimism is possibly also too strong on the flipside of the coin.
Quote from: Ep on November 03, 2012, 05:43:53 PM
A moderator could have notified his ISP and sent them these forum postings so they could get in contact with the proper authorities. That probably should have been done 2 weeks ago but even if something terrible has happened it's too late to do anything about it now.
Nicks logged in yesterday.
There were three moderators posting in the topic, and we assess every situation like this.
Sorry I should have posted this before. Mods were on to Nick very quickly. We try very hard to be there for people in distress. I had private and public messages with Nick and recommended counselling and places for him too go.
We try very hard to be there for members who are feeling distressed.
Thanks yall for chiming in. My ease with the situation was partly because I know there is oversight and diligence, but I know I'm prone to complacency so it's good to hear reassurance.
Hi everyone...
I'm so sorry I disappeared, I'm bad at stuff like this and I feel so embarrassed and ashamed for feeling suicidal. Reading posts, it's so sad that at one point or another we've all felt this way, it makes me hate the world but seeing the support everyone gives to one a other is encouraging. Thank you.
I'm at the dr to ask for a mental health plan so I can go back to my psychologist. Life still feels pointless, but maybe that's partly because I haven't been living it and truthfully, I don't know how. I hope I figure it out, I don't want to waste away and I don't want to feel like this. I do want to be happy and have friends, it just doesn't come naturally to me I guess.
I hope everyone is okay, I think as long as we have one another's support we'll be alright...I just have to figure out how to accept people's friendship ad support...I'm bad at this stuff.
-------------------------------
I started writing this this morning in the waiting room at the dr, then I got called in and haven't had a chance to finish until 14 hours later...its really hard for me to type this on my iphone too bevause i have hypohidrosis, sweaty hands + touch screen dont work!
I got a mental health plan from my dr and I'm going to see my old psychologist again. I got a score of 37 on the 'depression' test they use (Severe depression is 28 and above), I was shocked it was that high. I knew I was feeling bad and suicidal but at the same time I thought I was somewhat coping. To see that it's getting back up to where it was a few years ago is scary, I know ive felt suicidal but I guess at the same time I didn't think I was anywhere near how I used to be...I guess I'm closer than I thought. I'm weird. On a positive note I scored 2 for anxiety so thats a good thing.
I've contacted my psychologist so ill just wait till she can fit me in. Ive decided I'm not gonna let depression or anyone beat me. I've gotten this far, giving up now would mean my fight and struggles would have been for nothing.
Thank you everyone for being so supportive, even when I dropped off the grid (which I do frequently). I'm sorry.
Nothing to apologise for, you were in a really crappy place and we were concerned for you.
Life is never pointless, and we can give it the meaning we choose. I am glad to see you chose to live and to fight. You deserve a fair go, and your psych can help you get it.
No matter how bad things look, they really do pass. I was in a really bad way a couple of weeks ago, and Cindy among others helped me get out of it. I now feel like it is all worthwhile.
We are here for you mate.
Karen.
PS bro, you don't look 16. You're sexy fine. Gettin' ladies (or men, if that's what you want) is all about confidence! Gotta be, all, "I'm sexy and I know it." Look in the mirror. Say it out loud. Things'll be fine; just keep your chin up.
What do you do in your free time? Y'know, for fun? I used to deal with scumbag family members and my general unhappiness by completely immersing myself in whatever I liked to do. World of Warcraft. Magic: the Gathering. Dungeons & Dragons. Super Smash Brothers: Melee. Writing. Reading. Drawing, painting. Guitar, piano.
What're your hobbies? If you don't have one, get one. And do the hell out of it. Hobbies are fun. Make friends through hobbies. Take your mind off the bad stuff.
Quote from: nicks on November 05, 2012, 05:02:47 AM
I'm so sorry I disappeared, I'm bad at stuff like this and I feel so embarrassed and ashamed for feeling suicidal. Reading posts, it's so sad that at one point or another we've all felt this way, it makes me hate the world but seeing the support everyone gives to one a other is encouraging. Thank you.
But that so many of us have been there ourselves also means it's nothing you should feel embarrassed or ashamed about. I'm impressed with the way the mods handle this site and it's great to hear from you.
I'm very glad to see you back, Nicks. Feel free to ignore my PMs to you.
In my experience, being in a really crappy place and thinking about suicide are just part of the landscape that most (not all) transsexuals face at one time or another. I don't know about other trans people who aren't TS.
I actually used to think that everyone, not just trans people, was suicidal at one time or another. I was shocked when a group of my coworkers--all cis and straight--said they had never had such feelings. I suppose one of them might have been hiding something, but the whole crew of them?
I felt awkward and embarrassed for being matter-of-fact about my suicidal feelings. That was a strange sensation. So I never brought up the subject again in that crowd. But when I'm with LGBT people, I'm among allies who know what it's like to live in a queer zone and at some point feel that they've run out of options. I'm not embarrassed about it with them.
You're among friends. No need to be embarrassed. Most of us have been where you are.
I just want to post something to reassure you that you definitely are gonna find someone to love you. When I was a young person I would have fallen head over heels in love with your look. It's super sexy. So don't go by the ideals that you think make a person hot or interesting. The world is filled with all sorts of people with all sorts of interests and appeals.
Next, it's going to get easier and then you will have a whole life ahead of you. Sometimes you need to reassure yourself that "They are all wrong and I am right" and I've done that in situations over the years and realized the difference it makes in depression.
I deal with depression too. Sometimes when you feel isolated from people you just want to be understood. I used to struggle with the idea "I don't care if you agree with me, I just want you to understand where I am coming from."
There are many issues that contribute to this but the idea of being like Sysiphus, pushing the rock up the hill to almost make it, only to have it roll right back down again, is depressing.
So here's the answer. Stop trying to push the rock. These people don't understand you and they are out of your range and you need to find people who do understand you and not cling to the hope that one day "family" will come around.
I have not spoken to some members of my family for years. My mother and father I hadn't spoken to for over ten years and then even in that it was scattered awkward and demeaning so whammo off they go, I have nothing to do with them and I feel much better for it.
I recently had to start cutting off people I never in a million years felt I would. Like my closest sister, I always thought we were best pals. Finally I took a long hard look and realized she is a toxic jealous person with me. Perhaps to everyone else she's fine, it's not necessarily that they are evil people.
They just don't work with you. So again, "they are all wrong and I am right" use that mantra to reassure yourself and shift your perspective. And DO NOT kill yourself.
What a waste that would be. ((Hugs))
Don't feel embarrassed about feeling suicidal. It happens. The important part is that we battle through it and get to a place where we're glad that we never went through with it, or managed to.
You're getting help now, and you've mentioned that you've seen them before, so clearly they've been able to help you before. And better, you managed to pull through it once, it would be a shame to put all that effort to waste, and now you know you can do it. And you can, you've done the first bit and got help, and that was always the hardest for me.
Stay strong.
Good to see you back and there is no reason at all to be even the slightest bit embarrassed.
Hugs Bro
Cindy
Nothing to be embarrassed about man. We've all been there to one extent or another. Glad you reached out actually. Hang in there as you might be a happy man someday.
--Jay J
Quote from: nicks on November 05, 2012, 05:02:47 AM
Hi everyone...
I'm so sorry I disappeared, I'm bad at stuff like this and I feel so embarrassed and ashamed for feeling suicidal. Reading posts, it's so sad that at one point or another we've all felt this way, it makes me hate the world but seeing the support everyone gives to one a other is encouraging. Thank you.
I'm glad to hear you're doing better. You also have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. It takes a lot to reach out for support and help, but personally, I am a firm believer than if someone has the strength to do that that they should receive all necessary help and support.
Thanks everyone, again thanks so much.
I saw my psychologist last week. I stopped seeing her in 2009, so she hasn't seen me since my voice has proper broke and I've got the facial hair and all that jazz...it was good to see her again. I had so much to talk about I was a bit all over the place. I won't be seeing her again until next week, I had all four wisdom teeth taken out yesterday so I'll be recovering. I look like I shoved two tennis balls in my mouth my cheeks are that swollen.
I am feeling better still, and will keep fighting. I want to start living my life, and hopefully once I've had my phallo I can start doing that. I can't even go out to public places for fear of using the bathroom. I hate public bathrooms and always have, but I get paranoid that people might hear me "tinkle". Ridiculous, I know. Nobody will be listening to me using the bathroom, how weird would that be.
I would like to say to anyone who is feeling like I have been, message me. I have recieved overwhelming support but haven't been able to offer any in return and I'd like too. Sometimes it's nice to just blurt everything out and have someone to listen and nod their head (or *nod their head* in cyberspace).
Would using an STP help tide you over until you get your phallo or do they not work for you? It might solve some of the problem of thinking that people will hear how you're peeing. I don't think it's that uncommon for guys to pee in the stalls, but there is a very, very slight difference in the sound it makes standing up compared to sitting down, not that anyone would pay that much attention to it. I would guess that guys probably don't realise it sounds slightly different. The only scenario I could imagine for people listening to others using the bathroom would be if, like me, you want to make sure no one else is in there before you get the hell out of there!
I know someone who had their wisdom teeth taken out earlier this week, and they're no too happy about it to say the least! Although straight after she asked if she could get a big mac, but ended up having to rip a happy meal up into tiny shreds :P Apart from the teeth it's good to hear you're getting on the right track and that you got lucky with your therapist; she seems like a real human being!