My emotions have been in a wreck lately, when I'm in girl clothes I feel shy and ashamed and I feel like I look like a man. I put on fake boobs, makeup, and all that stuff and I feel like a crossdresser, so a lot of times I'll take off my girly clothes and bra and dress like a man just so I can feel like a girl again. Is that normal?
I don't know what's causing me to be all doubting of myself all of a sudden. Usually I'm pretty confident that I'm pretty and people see me as a normal, attractive woman at best and as an adorable crossdressing guy at worst, but lately its impossible to get a positive image of myself. Maybe I'm setting the bar too high and I expect to be prettier, so when I look at myself in the mirror I see my masculinised features and get depressed.
Anybody have any tips for holding my head high again?
Quote from: alyx. on October 26, 2012, 11:23:44 AM
My emotions have been in a wreck lately, when I'm in girl clothes I feel shy and ashamed and I feel like I look like a man. I put on fake boobs, makeup, and all that stuff and I feel like a crossdresser, so a lot of times I'll take off my girly clothes and bra and dress like a man just so I can feel like a girl again. Is that normal?
I don't know what's causing me to be all doubting of myself all of a sudden. Usually I'm pretty confident that I'm pretty and people see me as a normal, attractive woman at best and as an adorable crossdressing guy at worst, but lately its impossible to get a positive image of myself. Maybe I'm setting the bar too high and I expect to be prettier, so when I look at myself in the mirror I see my masculinised features and get depressed.
Anybody have any tips for holding my head high again?
I am a firm believer that you can change how you feel just by telling yourself that your going to feel better. I find sometimes when I'm down. That I need to step back look at the whole picture and see how far I've come down this journey so far. Think about the things you have all the things you have accomplished so far in your transition whatever they maybe wether it's coming out to people in your life, going in public the 1st time, etc. This journey we are putting ourselves down isn't a overnight process and we have to tell ourselves that daily. Be proud of who you are and be proud knowing where your going because a lot of people in this world don't have a clue. So smile it looks good on you!!
***hugs****
~Serena
I feel very similar to you. Though I don't look nearly as feminine as you do.
I find that my friends help me a lot when I am feeling this way. They help affirm that I look feminine, and that I am pretty. I know that it is better to be able to tell myself this, but it really helps to have others say it.
You are a beautiful woman. I am sure you will get your confidence back.
When I get in that funk (which IS often) I ask myself "If somebody has never met me and they see me like this... will they see a man?" .. It usually cheers me up.
Or sometimes you have to reflect on the times you've passed recently and remember that you haven't masculinized.
I lived most of my life dress like a man -no fun- but it did help doing the trick Serena mentioned above, that is I was a pretty girls dress like a man, The odd thing was that i never lost my female mannerism, demur, and poise; and it was fun beating the boys while impersonating one of them :laugh:
So, I know that is hard, specially when young, but stay the course, make plans, get an education or trade, follow your dreams.
For what I see in your picture, you are a pretty girl!!!
I do not mean to hijack the thread, but I did help me enormously when my breast grew.
If you accept that you are a woman, then the clothes and makeup are a minor point really.
Maybe you are a Butch?
I currently see myself as what someone described as a "Femme Tomboy", so why not? I wear mascara and lippy, but that's it. I make up for it with Bohemian/First nations type jewellery which distracts from my face a bit too.
Good Bi girlfriend who has known other transwomen and cross dressers says she thinks my lack of makeup actually helps.
Transition is a long process and probably the hardest thing anyone can attempt. If this works for you, who am I to criticise.
Karen.