I've been on T since April 2011, and have always done injections either weekly or every other week. The past few months or so, I've not been doing my shot regularly, partially because I'm just incredibly forgetful, but more so because I am absolutely terrified of doing it. It's gotten to the point within the last two months that I know I need it, but can't bring myself to do it. I started out having my boyfriend (also trans) do it for me every time, then I learned to self-inject and liked doing it myself better. I went back to having him do it because I was too panicked to do it myself, and now I am too scared either way. Has anybody else experienced this? What did you do about it?
Oh, a needle thread! <passes out on floor>
Hey mate, sorry you're having a rough time with it, i'm also terrified of needles, i had my (now ex) partner do it when i started, but i broke up with her and even though she said she'd do it still, i didnt trust her not to punish me for "breaking her heart" so i started self injecting, the ONLY thing that gets me through it is talking to someone WHILE i do it, sort of like a distraction, but yeah, i prefer doing the shots myself, but i doubt what works for me will work for you, try not to think about it too much hey. :)
I get nervous about my shot every week. Mainly on my shot day. I find that the anticipation is worse than the actual shot. I try to keep that in mind. But I'm quite relieved once it's over.
Do you have a friend, you could give each other the shot?
I don't think I would like shots either. But they are the cheapest fastest route.
--Jay J
A couple of suggestions:
- Have you discussed your fears with your doctor? There are other ways of taking T that don't involve needles - granted, they're not all as effective as the shots - but your doctor can help you find a treatment method that works for you.
- Do you know what frightens you about the shot - I presume it's the pain? If so, talk to your doctor - there are local anaesthetic gels you can apply to the injection site a couple of hours before taking your shot which could help you, and you could also take painkillers at an appropriate time so that they'll be working when the pain usually kicks in.
- I'm terribly forgetful too so I set myself some reminders on my phone for everything that I need to do regularly. Perhaps you might find it useful to set a weekly (or biweekly) reminder to take your shot?
- Would you be happier if a nurse/doctor were to do your shot for you? Can you book a regular appointment with them?
Bottom line is: I'd talk to my doctor if I were you. Let them know you're frightened (and why) - they might be able to prescribe an alternate form of T that would suit you better, or they could help you in other ways such as finding you treatment for needle phobia.
I'm just a scared little girl, but I have also problem to do it myself, I found only way I can do it is to do it slowly, it might be more painful overall but as it take longer time it is just uncomfortable for some time
Now I'm on gel, but as increase in dosage is planned I'll go to shots, thankfully I have sadistic girlfriend with medical education which will be pleased to do it >:-)
That's gotta be rough, Sorry to hear that. I can't imagine being scared of my shot.
I was nervous the first few times, but I've never had a big issue with needles in the first place.
I tend to listen to music while I inject...never mind the fact that I also get lost in my head, pretending the little blue soldier men are destroying the little pink ladies in my bloodstream .____.; Yes, that goes on every single time that I take my shot.
The best injection I ever had was one where I needed an emergency shot due to an allergic reaction. That particular shot is given in the butt cheek and it burns pretty badly.
I was lying on my stomach waiting for the shot, when the doctor who was about to give it to me asked me which side I wanted it in. I said "surprise me!". So he slapped the one cheek whilst simultaneously injecting the other. ;)
Looking back, that sounds a bit dodgy - but really it wasn't. The shock of the slap completely distracted me from the needle going in and I didn't feel anything. I can highly recommend this method, particularly if you get someone you trust to do your shot for you.
do you do IM or Sub Q?
Sub Q is a much smaller needle and much less uncomfortable. maybe ask ur doc about that?
i still can't stab myself, so I ice the area and then slowly push in. doesn't hurt and i can do it myself, so i'm not complaining lol/
Sub Q isn't being used a lot unfortunately. I was very surprised that the guy who runs our trans group (is trans) didn't know anything about it. I'd feel ok about it, as I did subQ for allergy shots. It's not bad at all.
--Jay J
i was surprised to hear from a lot of youtube friends that most didn't use it. my doc switched all of her clients to subQ (and that's a looooong list)
Quote from: RagingShadow on November 02, 2012, 07:07:13 PM
do you do IM or Sub Q?
Sub Q is a much smaller needle and much less uncomfortable. maybe ask ur doc about that?
i still can't stab myself, so I ice the area and then slowly push in. doesn't hurt and i can do it myself, so i'm not complaining lol/
Thats's a good idea about the ice. I might try it.
Had to add a comment to this.
Since for as long as I can remember, I have had a syringe phobia. I say syringe because I don't mind needles themselves, I like getting tattoos, I used to (WARNING THOSE WITH NEEDLE PHOBIAS!) put embroidery needles under my skin and pretend I was Edward Scissorhands (Edward Needlehands), and have had my lip pierced twice, my eyebrow pierced twice, an industrial, and four lobe piercings. But, attach a syringe to it, and it was splitsville for me.
It was so bad that at one point, I had to be held down by my mom, and two nurses while they tried to draw blood from my arm when I was really sick.
What really started to help me was giving blood to the American Red Cross, not only was my blood (A+) going to someone who needs it, but I also got free stuff at the end, it was a great motivation because I like 'prizes'. When I started therapy, while we talked about transitioning and I got my T letter within 3 months, we did a main focus on my phobias. I had expressed that I wanted to do injections, and had a phobia with them. He's certified in EMDR, and when we used that on my syringe phobia (and my spider phobia), it seems to have helped. It might be something to look in to, but if really you're having trouble with injections to the point of not able to do them, I would talk to your doctor about other forms of hormonal delivery. One of them might appeal more to you, and won't be as stress related.
I used to have a 'fear' of needles when I was a kid. However, I had been put on SSRI's at 7 on up until 13 which required a hell of a lot of blood testing for liver function and so that quickly cut through that 'fear'. I can look and everything now (even enjoy it, weird but it relaxes me. Go figure). I was even able to pierce my own face at 13 because they didn't bother me whatsoever anymore and they still don't.
I'd try listening to music while you're doing it. It's soothing and takes your mind off of it. Biting your tongue is another good one, I still use that. The brain has a gateway mechanism to recognize the most recent or strongest signal and such, so if you're biting your tongue a bit... you won't even feel the needle.
I'm not self-injecting yet though. I can't, 21G is a little too large for the thigh (or at least for mine, the skin is just way too thick to penetrate with that large of a gauge - don't know what my prescribing endo was thinking there). I tried it and it was just not gong to happen. So I have someone else do my glute for me. Don't feel them there whatsoever. Have to ask if they're done or not and everything. So if you have a good friend, perhaps you could ask them to do that for you in that spot. You can't mess up a glute injection. It's impossible. Just don't clench...
Quote from: RagingShadow on November 02, 2012, 07:07:13 PM
do you do IM or Sub Q?
Sub Q is a much smaller needle and much less uncomfortable. maybe ask ur doc about that?
i still can't stab myself, so I ice the area and then slowly push in. doesn't hurt and i can do it myself, so i'm not complaining lol/
is there any reason not to do Sub Q other than getting your doctor to agree to it? in terms of effectiveness?
I love shot day, but once I hit a nerve. Hurt like hell. I was pretty nervous about doing my shot for a couple of weeks. But after two or three successful injections, I was back on track.
I thought about what I would do without T, and that did the trick. I felt that I had no other option but to inject, so I punched past my fear and just rammed the needle in. I don't have any kind of needle phobia, though--I was just spooked.
Your situation sounds different, but might it help to think about what will happen if you DON'T do your shots?
SubQ--might be some advantages to this re: It would not be affected as much by exercise, would not cause as much damage to blood vessels, more injection sites (potentially), you use thinner lighter needles, which is good. Actually guys doing SubQ need less T. OTOH, it is still considered experimental and not approved by the FDA (US). (Of course, using T as a transguy isn't approved either, so I don't know why this is a such a big deal here. I think is used more in the UK?
I wonder if guys can ask their doctors for the needles. I think it is silly that this is not common practice. There are enough how to videos on youtube.
BTW, there is a sort of mental trick to IM presented by an mtf if you do a search on youtube "Self injection for Wimps". I can't link for reasons which would be apparent after you see it.
--Jay J
I do sometimes. I try not to psyche myself out. I try to be honest with myself and be logical. I tell myself, yes this will be uncomfortable for a moment but it is better than the alternative. If I freeze up I just take a small break and come back to it. I try to just focus on the process of doing it correctly and safely. Then I usually reward myself by doing something fun after.
The trick presented doesn't really involve psychology, it is how you handle the needle. It might help someone. I can't link it as there is a dosage given.
--Jay J
Quote from: Darrin Scott on October 30, 2012, 09:14:50 PM
I get nervous about my shot every week. Mainly on my shot day. I find that the anticipation is worse than the actual shot. I try to keep that in mind. But I'm quite relieved once it's over.
Same here. ^
Also, I found that injecting the needle into my thigh reeeaaallllyyy slowlyy helps me deal with the fear/anxiety. Because I can breathe slowly/deeply while needle is going in. Whereas I used to freak out so much before when I would stab myself fast with the needle because that was too sudden for me to deal with.