Dear MtF's and FtM's,
There is a transgirl/MtF/Showgirl (I say all of these things because she is just starting out I don't want to limit her to one label) I have no idea how to approach her, she is still wearing men's clothes but putting on makeup. I don't have any classes with her but see her in the hallway. I would love to approach her and let her know that there are people that can help her, websites like these she can turn to for support. I live in a part of NY that is very.. far right republican, a lot of bigots are concentrated here, and are cruel. we live in the lowest class areas and the gangs aren't very forgiving to crossdressers. I want to help her like this website has helped me. Please help?
<3 Rain
This is a schoolmate? College? High School?
Do you want to befriend her? If so, just say, hey I think you are really cool...what you are doing, etc. Get to know her before offering any advice.
High school,
Another problem is that she is a part of the gay community and I am very ostracized by most groups so I have to sort of infultrate it to help her. Maybe I'm over dramatizing it but it's still a problem with only my friend ethan as an in and him being a FtM is as awkward as me.
you could also contact her through a school email that you both share, although I don't know if school emails are a NYC thing.
Quote from: Ave on November 03, 2012, 12:41:30 PM
you could also contact her through a school email that you both share, although I don't know if school emails are a NYC thing.
Nah we don't have school emails, we are a poor district so we only hire technicians that suck.
Maybe invite her out for coffee? Just to have coffee. Try to be her friend.
Quote from: Ms. OBrien on November 03, 2012, 01:09:13 PM
Maybe invite her out for coffee? Just to have coffee. Try to be her friend.
Alright, when i come back to school i may try that, thanks. :)
If you don't know them or know how they may identify, I'd avoid going at them with the idea to give them any advice or links to trans info. As another said, just first get to know them a little before suggesting or helping.
Quote from: Jaime on November 03, 2012, 01:36:05 PM
If you don't know them or know how they may identify, I'd avoid going at them with the idea to give them any advice or links to trans info. As another said, just first get to know them a little before suggesting or helping.
Alrighty thank you :)
I'll have to say that I'd be a bit suspicious of someone who seemed only interested in meeting me because I appear to be a needy transgender-- especially in high school. While you think your interest may be charitable, you might want to reassess your motives here. How would you feel about someone you didn't know suggesting they'd like to help you fix something about yourself? This person may feel fine as he/she is and would be insulted by your interest that way. Sometimes the best thing is to hold back, but be available if someone wants to be helped.
~ Lyric ~
What you are not getting, Lyric, is that two way Rain feels the girl is at risk in which case she has a moral imperative to try to help. The trick is finding a way to help that would not be intrusive.
What if we tell this girl to mind her own business and this "showgirl" winds up severely beaten or worse yet, murdered. I know I am being overly dramatic--but it could happen.
My thought was that most everyone tends to be repulsed by strangers who imply there's something wrong with you. Probably the best thing she might do is to simply meet the person in a normally friendly way and, possibly, become acquainted. Once a friendship exists, there might be the possibility of discussing problems. Otherwise, I strongly suspect there would simply be rejection.
From the post, the only indication of a problem is "wearing men's clothes but putting on makeup". To me this doesn't necessarily suggest a life or death hazard unless the school is chock full of Mitt Romney-like brutish bullies.
~ Lyric ~
Just say hi, and start a simple conversation. If you two start talking more, then start to approach the subject of transition. Basically, follow the K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) principal.
Quote from: Lyric on November 05, 2012, 10:04:36 AM
From the post, the only indication of a problem is "wearing men's clothes but putting on makeup". To me this doesn't necessarily suggest a life or death hazard unless the school is chock full of Mitt Romney-like brutish bullies.
~ Lyric ~
Worse than that!
QuoteI live in a part of NY that is very.. far right republican, a lot of bigots are concentrated here, and are cruel. we live in the lowest class areas and the gangs aren't very forgiving to crossdressers.
The implication is that she is in harm's way.