Hello! I registered here first when I was 18. I forgot my username and password, and now have a different email address, so I figured I would just re-register. I don't want to use my old name anyway. Heh.
So I'm Merek. I was born female. My mother is a very prissy person, and both my parents really wanted a girl. When I came out female, they must have been overjoyed. :P
However, I seem to be at very least gender-fluid. When I was little, I would hang out more with guys. I would see them pee, and say, "Why can't I pee like that!" I felt insaney jealous, like I was cheated out of a penis. I felt like one of the guys around them. Later on, most of my friends were girls. I still wanted to hang out with the guys, but they didn't really accept me. In fact, few people did. I was always an outsider. When I would hang out with these girls, I felt like they were sweet, and great friends, but the make-up and girliness bothered me. I didn't check out guys. I pretended to, but never felt anything like that for them. It just seemed so...stupid. So girly. I remember being at a summer camp where I asked if I looked like a guy. I really wanted to. I was told that I looked like a guy with long hair from the back. I doubt it, though. I have always looked quite female. (I am only about five feet tall.)
Later on, I remember being upset that I was an actual girl, and not someone with undescended testes, like I learned about in class. I then started asking myself if I would rather be born male or female. I would have chosen male...hands down!
Recently, at age 23, I feel like my waves of dysphoria are getting stronger. There are times when I can't feel comfortable in women's clothing. I always, however, almost see a penis if I look at myself naked. It's rather odd. It's like I have to do a double-take to realize it's not there. In the same sense, from time to time, I forgot I am female.
On the other hand, my breasts don't really bother me. I have no idea if I want hormones or not. It's not like they can magically make me both genetically and physically male. I want the whole package. Granted, I don't have issues with what I do have. It's what I don't have that bothers me.
On another note, I was diagnosed with slightly high testosterone levels, but don't know if this is causing my problems. I've felt male-ish my whole life...
Er...regardless, here I am. A friend recommended I come back here for support. So hello, and nice to meet everyone! :3
Hi Merek, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 8854 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
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Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Thanks for the welcome, Janet!
As a side note, I have NO idea how to enter my age on the forum profile. I literally don't see the option? :/
If you look at Ms Obrien's post you will see where to go to look at the rules and how many posts you need before you can edit your profile (15 bye the way).
Quote from: Sarah Louise on November 09, 2012, 06:00:28 PM
If you look at Ms Obrien's post you will see where to go to look at the rules and how many posts you need before you can edit your profile (15 bye the way).
Oh okay! I'm entirely distracted right now too, so pardon me. I've been working on class work all day... >_>
Welcome back, Merek. I am sure you know your way around, but I invite you over to the Androgyne forum to share your experiences of the past five years with some of the other non-binaries, such as me.
Quote from: Jamie D on November 09, 2012, 10:04:09 PM
Welcome back, Merek. I am sure you know your way around, but I invite you over to the Androgyne forum to share your experiences of the past five years with some of the other non-binaries, such as me.
Thank you!
I will look at the forum, and see what there is. I do lean toward male, though.
Hi Merek,
A big Aussie welcome back to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi" and good to see you back. Hope you like it here this time round, and you stay a while longer.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here as you already know. Just jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting as you know.
With your high T it could be an idea to have a chat with an Endocronoligist would could possible shine a little light on the subject; if you haven't already.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
Hi Merek, it's nice to meet you! I live up around Boston. Grab some snacks and I'll see you around the site. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Catherine Sarah on November 10, 2012, 04:56:05 AM
With your high T it could be an idea to have a chat with an Endocronoligist would could possible shine a little light on the subject; if you haven't already.
From what I gathered, my testosterone was only a little high. I believe the number was 73. I haven't brought up the fact that I may be transgender with my endocrinologist yet, though. Is that what you meant?