Hello everyone. I'm new to this, but I don't think my story is too unique. I'm a guy, and I can remember wishing I was a girl since pre-school. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way because I am healthy, in shape, and not unattractive, which is a lot more than some people have. It's just not me though. I can't express myself for who I am in this way.
I usually try to appease myself by playing video games where I can be a female character, and try to get lost in that world, but it's a temporary fix and I don't know if it's psychologically healthy to rely on that. I even threw away a lucrative engineering career (I HATED the job) to pursue photography, largely because I get to work with female models and I have an excuse to be involved in make-up, hair styling, and fashion. I know that's not what being a girl is all about, but it's a small slice of my fantasy life. I like to help these girls enjoy being what I can't be. It's somewhat fulfilling, but it also makes me sad.
I can distract myself until I try to go to bed, but when I lie down and there's nothing to take my mind off how I feel, I feel overwhelmed and can't do anything but cry until I tire myself out and fall asleep. Even when I dream I am a female. Then I wake up...
I know this is pathetic but this is what I am right now. On the positive side, I feel less afraid of dying because I like to imagine that whenever I do die, I'll come back as a girl.
I don't know much about transitioning gender but I am interested to learn more. I've tried vocal training on my own but I have yet to make any progress.
I have read about HRT a little too. I would like to try it, but I don't know how it will turn out. I am 22 years old. I know it's better to start younger, but will my age make a difference too much? I'm just afraid of going through all the treatment only to be unsatisfied with the results. I have seen amazing and inspiring transitions, and I have seen transitions that are not as convincing.
I just want to look and sound like a girl. I don't want to look and sound like a man who is trying to look and sound like a girl.
Thank you for listening. I'm sorry if I put a downer on your mood. I just needed to share with anyone who can understand...
Hi Lunabelle :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, this is a great place to find friends and information to help you along your journey
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Hugs
V M
Lunabelle, welcome to Susan's Place. The is a good place to help sort out your gender issues. You might want to also consider finding a gender therapist. Best of luck to you.
Hi Lunabelle, its nice to meet you! I'm up in the Boston area. Susan's Place draws people from all over the world. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn
Hi Lunabelle, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 8895 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Hi Lunabelle,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Quote from: Lunabelle on November 11, 2012, 02:43:17 AM
I am 22 years old. ......... but will my age make a difference too much?
In answer to your question, your age will be a definite benefit to you starting now than later.
However. This is an extremely serious AND LIFE CHANGING decision that can't be taken lightly. Some effects are permanent and are irreversible. Even minor initial changes to your psychological state of mind, may be damaging and irreversible.
Having said that, I would seriously consider seeking a professional gender therapist and discuss your current thoughts with them and then, take the appropriate action. I'm talking here about a 6 month timeframe for you to be absolutely certain, this is the life for you.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
Welcome, Lunabelle. People in their sixties and senties transition. Your not too young to do so.