Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: SilentArchitect on November 13, 2012, 11:10:57 AM

Title: mmmmm
Post by: SilentArchitect on November 13, 2012, 11:10:57 AM
Mmmmmm


Once people are aware you are TG, all of a sudden they want to be your friend?

I have a good network of friends, but the ones that I wasn't too close to before, all of a sudden wanted to be more involved with conversations and such. I  can't help but feel defensive about this to be honest, it's almost like your just of interest because of your unique status etc.

Same with family to be honest,


It's a difficult one.


Anyone else ever feel the same way?
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: Brooke777 on November 13, 2012, 11:16:55 AM
The way I look at it is that people knew something was "off" about me. Now that they know the real me they feel more comfortable talking with me. That is just how I take them treating me different than before.
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: SilentArchitect on November 13, 2012, 11:24:08 AM
Quote from: Brooke777 on November 13, 2012, 11:16:55 AM
The way I look at it is that people knew something was "off" about me. Now that they know the real me they feel more comfortable talking with me. That is just how I take them treating me different than before.

Yep, that does make sense.

I suppose one just builds a natural defense considering the circumstances. x
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: monica.soto on November 15, 2012, 11:38:16 AM
Really?

One of my biggest fears was that if I came out, no one would want to me friends with me.

Sucks to be living in Latin America, I guess.
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: tekla on November 15, 2012, 12:07:38 PM
your just of interest because of your unique status

Isn't that true of a lot of things?  Most people perhaps?  You might get to know them, and love them for the warm wonderful unique little snowflake they are deep inside but we want to know people because of some quality about them, and frequently it's unique status.  "Rock Star" is a unique status. 
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: SilentArchitect on November 15, 2012, 12:44:03 PM
Yeh I do get ya, it hasn't been a problem for me or anything, just something that crossed my mind so to speak x
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: suzifrommd on November 15, 2012, 06:18:15 PM
Quote from: SilentArchitect on November 13, 2012, 11:10:57 AM
Once people are aware you are TG, all of a sudden they want to be your friend?

Actually, I wouldn't mind if this happened to me. I'm having trouble finding people to shop and go out with presenting female. My wife has shouldered the burden, but she is so not into it. The friends I've come out to have been sort of keeping their distance.
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: Snowpaw on November 15, 2012, 06:22:08 PM
I have a few friends like that. I get to be their "gay" friend that they can mess with my hair and try to put makeup on me like a doll.
Title: Re: mmmmm
Post by: Kaelin on November 16, 2012, 11:31:02 AM
Sometimes it's the sort of thing that's a conversation-starter.  Whether you're intending it or not, it tells more about who you are, and more information gives them another reason to talk to you.  Sometimes it's flat-out curiosity, sometimes there's something fascinating about your presentation, sometimes it's a sentimental thing where they're rooting for you (and they will probably do this with respect to other types of life challenges), and sometimes it's something where they've had a related story in their life that may have gone well (and they may feel they have something to share) or gone not-so-well (in which case they may be proud of you and/or they may be looking for advice).

I think if you're worried about other people only looking at the TG part of you, go ahead and talk about a lot of non-TG stuff that you care about or that is happening in your life, or some topics you know the other people have some interest in.  If they're able to engage on something else, I think you'll be alright.  If they aren't, you might have to discreetly nudge them in that direction.