Just wondering if anyone has had any remarkable mood changes after starting hormones good bad or ugly?
I've heard one account of someone developing musical skills as a result of hormones.
More than likely the result of just feeling better and letting your natural skills come out I think.
During my brief encounter with E, I noted my visual perception changed notably. Sun shining through the window looked much different than it did before and I felt the urge to dance.
My mood swings actually was attenuated on HRT. I used to have long mood swings lasting months, now they are down to hours and not as intense as before. I am much more tolerent of doing things that has a lot of minutiae in it. From sewing a new portable observatory cover to a grueling 28 straight hour garden grape juicing operation.
My good night vision and tolerance to cold had not changed in the two years on HRT. I am also noticing more landmarks and remembering landforms as I drive long distances, day or night. I have different perceptions of shading and highlighting of objects. My likes in food had changed somewhat. I like garlic in my baked scaled fish recipes I didn't like before. Before garlic was just for shellfish such as lobster, crabs and shrimp. I liked pastrami sandwiches before, now they are not so good. That could be from the declining quality of deli meats as noticed by others as well.
Joelene
lol mood swings are a fact of life for me. My emotions are all over the place. I can be content, get good news and be playfully happy, get bad news and cry, see something cute and feel ... idk what... in 20 minutes. I can also look in the mirror and be busting with confidence, know I'm hot ... then look in another mirror and not want to leave the bedroom.
Mood swings are almost routine for me...
I tried to kill myself on July 12Th, 2011, came to the next afternoon, and promised myself I had to give living the only way I knew of that could make me happy, living as a woman, a try. I ordered hormones on the 13th and took my first progynon depot shot on July 22nd. I began to feel better about life the moment I ordered my hormones from In House, but since around the second day after my first shot I've been happy for the first time in my adult life. It's only gotten better for me. Where there was endless depression, hopelessness, and self hatred for not being born a girl and not doing what needed to be done to change that fact, I've found that I've become hopeful, happy, and at peace almost constantly. There are days I feel like Alaina too, where I think I look great, then a few minutes later, see myself in another light that looks awful, fat, old, wrinkled and disgusting. Fortunately though, in 15 months and 26 days I haven't had 20 bad ones, and I owe that to HRT and my 'decision' to take them. There was no decision to be made. It was begin HRT again or die, and not for two short months like the last time, but for at least enough time to see some physical changes. It's been the best decision I've ever made.
I'm certainly happy.
And yes I now go out dancing, love it.
Quote from: finallyRandiGirl@57 on November 18, 2012, 12:58:24 AM
Fortunately though, in 15 months and 26 days I haven't had 20 bad ones, and I owe that to HRT and my 'decision' to take them.
Starting my "decision" was a life saver for me, too. I didn't try to kill myself but I knew if I didn't, I wasn't going to stop wanting to. Now the suicidal thoughts are super rare... haven't had one since probably June when I used to get them every day since I was 12.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 18, 2012, 01:30:32 AM
Starting my "decision" was a life saver for me, too. I didn't try to kill myself but I knew if I didn't, I wasn't going to stop wanting to. Now the suicidal thoughts are super rare... haven't had one since probably June when I used to get them every day since I was 12. Your starting time and mine, Alaina, are within a month of each other and it sounds as if there are lots of other similarities too. I'm sooo glad you never actually tried to do it. You might have succeeded and the world would be a sadder, emptier place without you! The day after I took 60 10 mg. methadone pills and a 12 pack of beer and still woke up, I was more depressed than ever, but something changed, an epiphany, I guess. Now, I'm so very glad I failed. God gave me a chance to fix His or nature's mistake and that's what I'm doing. I love this journey!!! And Cindy, I'd dance if I could, but I broke my back pretty severely in 2010. So dance for me too, girl!
I'm definitely up and down a lot now, but while I'm in it I don't feel like thats the case - its only apparent to me on reflection (eg. `Gee, an hour a go I felt awful, but now life is great!')
I also have only been genuinely angry about 4 times this year, as opposed to it being a regular occurance in my testosterone fueled frustration. Thats probably only part hormones, but regardless I'm a lot more placid.
Within 2 weeks of starting HRT, I was a weepy mess. I'd cry for little or not apparent reason. I got a really helpful reply to an email I'd sent to a coworker, and reading his offer of help made me suddenly so happy I nearly burst into tears.
For me, the for 3 or 4 months were like this. At about 6-7 months or so, things began to settle down. I'm at 17 months now, and I feel that I have a wider and fuller range of emotional experience. I'm still a weepy person, but nothing like the summer of 2011.
Quote from: finallyRandiGirl@57 on November 18, 2012, 12:58:24 AM
I tried to kill myself on July 12Th, 2011, came to the next afternoon, and promised myself I had to give living the only way I knew of that could make me happy, living as a woman, a try. I ordered hormones on the 13th and took my first progynon depot shot on July 22nd. I began to feel better about life the moment I ordered my hormones from In House, but since around the second day after my first shot I've been happy for the first time in my adult life. It's only gotten better for me. Where there was endless depression, hopelessness, and self hatred for not being born a girl and not doing what needed to be done to change that fact, I've found that I've become hopeful, happy, and at peace almost constantly. There are days I feel like Alaina too, where I think I look great, then a few minutes later, see myself in another light that looks awful, fat, old, wrinkled and disgusting. Fortunately though, in 15 months and 26 days I haven't had 20 bad ones, and I owe that to HRT and my 'decision' to take them. There was no decision to be made. It was begin HRT again or die, and not for two short months like the last time, but for at least enough time to see some physical changes. It's been the best decision I've ever made.
So glad its working for you.
I hope to be on E buy next summer :)
My mood bounced up and down sometimes in a very short span of time in my first month. Sometimes I would be ecstatically happy and the next minute a complete bitch. It's starting to stabilize a lot more now.
Since yesterday I've been thinking about whether I've had mood changes, and I realize now that I have. In the beginning of the relationship I'm in, I fell head over heels for my guy through a TS dating site. He was looking for a TS girl, but said nothing about a long term relationship in his profile. I started thinking about that omission and when he had a few dates in a row he had to break because of his work commitments, I was positive he didn't want to see me anymore. I wrote this long message to him telling him I was stupid to have thought about us as a long term thing, in between my fits of weeping. Then I left text messages saying essentially the same thing and that I held nothing against him, that I'm a big girl and should have known the pitfalls of being on a site mostly for sex, etc. So he wrote back and then called me and asked me why I was so depressed over nothing. Then he told me how much he wants to keep seeing me, but that he's the owner of a business with only a few employees and this is his busiest time of the year. I was overjoyed and realized I was unhinged for several days. Like a teenager! I really haven't had many other things, though. Like I've said, my biggest issue has been the decades I lost before transitioning and that's foolish, because there's nothing I can do about it.
Quote from: finallyRandiGirl@57 on November 21, 2012, 04:14:53 PM
Since yesterday I've been thinking about whether I've had mood changes, and I realize now that I have. In the beginning of the relationship I'm in, I fell head over heels for my guy through a TS dating site. He was looking for a TS girl, but said nothing about a long term relationship in his profile. I started thinking about that omission and when he had a few dates in a row he had to break because of his work commitments, I was positive he didn't want to see me anymore. I wrote this long message to him telling him I was stupid to have thought about us as a long term thing, in between my fits of weeping. Then I left text messages saying essentially the same thing and that I held nothing against him, that I'm a big girl and should have known the pitfalls of being on a site mostly for sex, etc. So he wrote back and then called me and asked me why I was so depressed over nothing. Then he told me how much he wants to keep seeing me, but that he's the owner of a business with only a few employees and this is his busiest time of the year. I was overjoyed and realized I was unhinged for several days. Like a teenager! I really haven't had many other things, though. Like I've said, my biggest issue has been the decades I lost before transitioning and that's foolish, because there's nothing I can do about it.
That's a sweet story.
I'm glad it all worked out for you. I too have spent 30 years in the doldrums of cis vlle trying to be the best man I can to no avail.
it's refreshing to be able to let go of all the programming society puts on us.
My experience was: I started on spiro only for about a year, I am calmer and less prone to anger. Much more mellow and understanding. Also feel more patient. About a year ago added E, have seen zero difference from that. I never have gotten the "weepy mess" part and am glad I didn't :) I did get depressed when I was taking finasteride but that went away within a couple of days of stopping it.
Day 15 (Spiro, Estradiol and Progesterone) and I've only had one bout of emotional upheaval (Day 4). Been steady since then, knock on wood. I guess I'm one of the few that is actually looking forward to reaching the weepy stage as I've had a very hard time crying in the last year (and I'd never had a problem before that expressing my emotions that way) and I think I've got a lot being held in that's going to come rushing out. We'll see.
My moods are a lot more stable than they used to be. I don't get angry as much and if I do get a bit miffed now, I get over it fairly fast and I don't break things like in the past.
I cry easier and anger feels cute now :P its mostly empowering and not destructive. I also get down but its lasts minutes or an hour at most. Nowhere near the days and weeks and months of before. I also cry during sad movies (I would get choked up before) not sure if thats just me not caring that I cry now or results of E.
Taking oestrogen made me feel much calmer and made me stop getting so irritated about things. Starting Androcur six months later made me suicidal and depressed for about a month. The longer term effects were that it ruined my concentration, made me tired (I always had to sleep in the afternoon) and killed my libido. There were also recurring depressive periods which would last for a few weeks. Even so I would not get really angry about things as I would have in the past, and during the depressive periods I always had the hope that it was just the Androcur making me like that. This has turned out to be correct.
I've reduced the dose of Androcur to half of what I was taking in preparation for going off it altogether at the end of this week. The change has been marked. I still have trouble concentrating on reading for long periods of time but no longer need to sleep during the day. Depression doesn't seem to be haunting me and sexual interest is back up to a level where I am actually noticing people and finding them attractive and having fantasies again.
Androcur is what they use to chemically castrate sex offenders in Australia, and it's very strong stuff. I thank it for giving me beautiful breasts and long soft blonde hair, but the weeks of depression weren't very nice.
En general, I calmed down considerably. That's not to say that I no longer suffered intense emotions, its just that my emotions were less random and more focussed. Before beginning the transition, I had stuffed a ton psychic material in dark recesses of my mind and I believe at an unconscious level, by permitting myself to transition I also gave myself permission to let all that psychic material go. So i stopped raging at inconsequential things, and began releasing (aka sobbing like a baby) the backlog of authentic emotions
Quote from: Kadri on November 24, 2012, 03:26:18 PM
Taking oestrogen made me feel much calmer and made me stop getting so irritated about things. Starting Androcur six months later made me suicidal and depressed for about a month. The longer term effects were that it ruined my concentration, made me tired (I always had to sleep in the afternoon) and killed my libido. There were also recurring depressive periods which would last for a few weeks. Even so I would not get really angry about things as I would have in the past, and during the depressive periods I always had the hope that it was just the Androcur making me like that. This has turned out to be correct.
I've reduced the dose of Androcur to half of what I was taking in preparation for going off it altogether at the end of this week. The change has been marked. I still have trouble concentrating on reading for long periods of time but no longer need to sleep during the day. Depression doesn't seem to be haunting me and sexual interest is back up to a level where I am actually noticing people and finding them attractive and having fantasies again.
Androcur is what they use to chemically castrate sex offenders in Australia, and it's very strong stuff. I thank it for giving me beautiful breasts and long soft blonde hair, but the weeks of depression weren't very nice.
i had a very similar experience
Quote from: aprilrain on November 24, 2012, 05:20:03 PM
i had a very similar experience
But was it worth it in the end? For me it definitely was!
i don't take Androcur now and my T is in the basement so i guess it was worth it. It got me on anti depressants which i probably needed anyway.
If you still need anti-AAs ask your medic for Spiro, it doesn't cause the depression that Androcur does.
I've been on anti-depressants for years, I'm now being weaned off them as I don't need them anymore. It's just a slow process because I was on quite high levels. But now I'm happy :laugh:
Almost feels strange - being happy :laugh:
Quote from: Cindy James on November 25, 2012, 12:30:35 AM
If you still need anti-AAs ask your medic for Spiro, it doesn't cause the depression that Androcur does.
I've been on anti-depressants for years, I'm now being weaned off them as I don't need them anymore. It's just a slow process because I was on quite high levels. But now I'm happy :laugh:
Almost feels strange - being happy :laugh:
I'm glad to hear that Cindy! Congratulations :D
Yes, i think I may end up doing that if I need it. I was getting to the stage of wanting anti-depressants a few months back, but I held on to the hope that things might sort themselves out by going off Androcur. Before when I felt good I always had the nagging feeling that depression would come back, but I don't feel like that any more.
Quote from: Kadri on November 25, 2012, 02:21:39 AM
I'm glad to hear that Cindy! Congratulations :D
Yes, i think I may end up doing that if I need it. I was getting to the stage of wanting anti-depressants a few months back, but I held on to the hope that things might sort themselves out by going off Androcur. Before when I felt good I always had the nagging feeling that depression would come back, but I don't feel like that any more.
To be honest I really don't know why Androcur is so popular in Australia as an anti AA. I know many woman who have been plunged into depression by it. When I brought that up with my endo she had no problems with prescribing Spiro it just wasn't her first choice as she was use to Androcur. In the end I didn't need anti-AAs anyway. So it's a moot point.
It's interesting. i mean I was warned about mood shifts and lethargy (and other things that I've forgotten because, they didn't happen to me) but also that Spiro took much longer to work, and I was impatient I suppose. That's why I chose it.
It's so much more expensive than Spiro too, although you can get it subsidised down to the same price if you have a code attached to it saying you are taking it to stop sexual deviancy.
My psychologist was more concerned than my endo was. My psych basically said don't take Androcur with your mood issues.
The Chronic Depression that I had suffered from ceased quite quickly and I am a lot happier, and more calm.
While I can suffer a reactive bout of Depression if something happens to upset me, I can work my way out of it, and otherwise am happy pretty much all the time now.
If something gets my angry I tend to blow up quickly and it is resolved within a short time, whereas previously I would brood for days and stew over the result for days afterwards too.
Awesome. :D
You all have said exactly what I'd hoped to hear the end of moodiness and depression.
I remember when I turned 10 years old it all started. Yelling and screaming tantrums holes in walls and repeated visits to the psychiatrist. Antidepressants, antianxiety drugs all of which did little more than make me sick.
Meditation, yoga, holistic health, unique diets none of it did anything to control my inner incredible hulk. The only thing that seemed to knock it down was marijuana and alcohol(both anti-androgens) and most recently low dose naltrexone which I take for my MS but it seemed to help my head too.
With my recent research into hormones, I'm thinking that testosterone may be what's hurting me. I'm going to talk with the Doc this spring about Spyro first then maybe the smallest dose of Estroil I can take to do the trick.
if I have to endure a little weepiness I can take that. In fact that's something I do now consciously. Instead of ranting and raving just put myself into a good cry for a few minutes.
So glad things worked out for everyone. :)