I am happier than a witch in a broom factory!
I am unhappy because I simply have not really begun, but i was really happy when I at least attempted to do so about 3 months ago, not giving up though going to try again soon.
Terrified. I don't know the first thing about living as a woman, don't know if I'll ever pass as one (though transition would still be worth doing if I didn't), don't know if I'll be accepted as one. Right now the only reason I'm even considering it is that I can't face the thought of continuing to live as a man and no one knowing who I really am.
Freaking thrilled. also terrified, apprehensive and shell shocked.
Seana
Quote from: agfrommd on November 18, 2012, 01:25:10 PM
Terrified. I don't know the first thing about living as a woman, don't know if I'll ever pass as one (though transition would still be worth doing if I didn't), don't know if I'll be accepted as one. Right now the only reason I'm even considering it is that I can't face the thought of continuing to live as a man and no one knowing who I really am.
Well just remember that there are plenty of cis gender women that have a masculine look or are butch or tomboy, but still get seen as a woman, I myself would probably be a blend of feminine and masculine when its all said and done, and i can live with that. Seeing as how I found out technically I am inter sexed and have AIS anyways.
I couldn't live without being female. I still have my bouts of "I'LL NEVER BE CIS!!" but it's much better than living a lie.
I love being a woman. I love being able to walk into a shoe shop and buy whatever I want without looking nervously over my shoulder and rehearsing a speech about it being my sister's birthday in my head. I love the looks, the freedom, the feeling of contentment. I never thought I could be this happy! I may not be very far into my physical transition, but so long as I have my studies, my flat and my man, I don't see how anything can go wrong.
I am both happier and unhappier than I have ever been in my memory.
I am happier in that I am living the authentic me, and about 30 years of depression had seemingly vanished when I started transition.
I am unhappier in that transition has cost me the most important thing in my life: my marriage.
Quote from: Constance on November 18, 2012, 02:08:25 PM
I am both happier and unhappier than I have ever been in my memory.
I am happier in that I am living the authentic me, and about 30 years of depression had seemingly vanished when I started transition.
I am unhappier in that transition has cost me the most important thing in my life: my marriage.
*hugs!*
*pokes at myself* I could be happier but right now is pretty good. There are days when I feel super happy about who I am and then there are other days. Really though I am just happy I made the decision to transition because I could not take another day as "him" Anything was better than that.
I just made a vlog kinda about this. I did a speaking panel at a large SoCal state university and someone asked me "what do you like about being a girl?" I joked about more clothing selections then basically said I don't really think about it, it's not something I can point to one thing about. Ultimately, it's being happier than you ever thought because you have something that most people will never comprehend because they never lived in a gender they didn't identify with. It's funny how you can tolerate a whole bunch of blah stuff when you are right in your gender and everyone around you recognizes you for who you are. You can't really put a price tag on it. I took like 12 minutes to try to answer the question, lol, but that's pretty much what it was about. Here it is if you get bored:
What Do I Like About Being A Girl? What Do YOU Like About Being Your Gender? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4lkQWevF8s&list=UUClgbMo2KcZF1psv3M-s-yA&index=1&feature=plcp#)
Glad I did it,sorry I wasted 10 years when I knew for sure I was TS not having the confidence to go for it.
Happier than a Sow in a Mud Palace
Happier then a college junior in Colorado. ;D
Much happier than before but because I'm so scared I'm not really out or living as a woman.
(Whatever that actually means)
I've let myself down really. ???
I am thrilled to finally see myself being authentic. Every day when I look in the mirror since starting HRT, I smile a little at the girl I am starting to actually see instead of just dreaming about.
Quote from: josee on November 18, 2012, 04:59:13 PM
I am thrilled to finally see myself being authentic. Every day when I look in the mirror since starting HRT, I smile a little at the girl I am starting to actually see instead of just dreaming about.
Yes, and it justs keeps getting better!
Well I practically just started but I'm much happier and excited as hell!
i am so much happier now
Much, much happier. Is everything peachy? No, 'cause cameras hate me. But, when I'm by myself, and feel SO good about myself and my path...I can overlook bad pics.
:-)
I am stupid happy, thrilled to be the girly-girl of my dreams. And it gets better and better with each passing year. I look forward to being the crazy old woman, dressed inappropriately, with long pink hair, and still beating the crap out of the young men at the pool hall.
It RULES to be me!
Miharu
I was exposed to DES in the womb and thought I was a girl till four. I knew from the day I was told that I was in the wrong body, so to transition at 57 was the first time I've ever been happy. I'm fourteen months into living full time, and it's wonderful. From having a closet with nothing but cute women's clothes (I gave all my male stuff to the Salvation Army) to wearing my hair the way I want, wearing makeup daily, to men opening doors for me, I can't really point to anything I don't like about it except for the gigantic, tragic mistake of not finishing my first attempt at transitioning at 23. The best things to me though, are having complete strangers telling my mom and I how easy it is to see that I'm her daughter, our window and real shopping days, and finally, having a man I'm falling in love with, this journey has been everything I hoped and prayed for, and much, much more.
Quote from: Miharu Barbie on November 19, 2012, 02:48:18 PM
I am stupid happy, thrilled to be the girly-girl of my dreams. And it gets better and better with each passing year. I look forward to being the crazy old woman, dressed inappropriately, with long pink hair, and still beating the crap out of the young men at the pool hall.
It RULES to be me!
Miharu
I have no doubt that it rules to be you. Your attitude is great!!!
Being a girl rocks. Being a guy sucked. So yes I am VERY happy!
Had a psychiatrist appt today.
Do you have any regrets?
Yes!
What are they?
I didn't do it sooner.
Common reaction that.
Me too!
Life is really simple. Find one thing that really matters to you, and make it right. Then doing what you can, when you can, build on that one thing a life that truly fits.
My gender was my one right thing. When I stopped ignoring it and started living it, it became the foundation of a whole new, better life for me, and everything else started to fall into line or drop out of the picture.
I love my life more every day. Even the worst day is MINE.
Happy doesn't seem like a big enough word to encapsulate the glorious, frightening and affirming peaks and troughs of this bold new existence.
But sure, happy as a clam ;D
Quote from: Cindy James on November 20, 2012, 01:00:00 AM
Had a psychiatrist appt today.
Do you have any regrets?
Yes!
What are they?
I didn't do it sooner.
Common reaction that.
This!!
Happier than a ferret in a dryer tube.
Quote from: Cindy James on November 20, 2012, 01:00:00 AM
Had a psychiatrist appt today.
Do you have any regrets?
Yes!
What are they?
I didn't do it sooner.
Common reaction that.
Not a day goes by I don't think on this regret. T_T
It was a necessity. I couldnt live as male anymore, being female is all i would think about and i was depressed/suicidal everyday.
Now that I have transitioned i do feel slightly better, but am extremely dissatisfied with my hrt results. The dysphoria still remains, but I guess its not as bad as before transition.
Quote from: Stephe on November 19, 2012, 11:21:41 PM
Being a girl rocks. Being a guy sucked. So yes I am VERY happy!
Amen to that sister!
I'm happy that I transitioned, but transitioning didn't make me happy. It just helped me to not be so unhappy all the time. Life feels more 'normal' to me now.
Transition only solved one problem, but life still has ups and downs. I still work at a stressful job, relationships are still messy, and in some ways my life is now more difficult.
All this being said I am happier in general, and I no longer live with the guilt of feeling like I was hiding who I truly was from people who matter a lot to me. I do, and have always wanted to just live my life as a woman - and that feels much more natural to me than before.
I too regret not being able to do it sooner, but I'm glad I have today and tomorrow to be me. I'm really grateful for that.
Ha... Last week I would have replied to this in a different way, but today I can finally say that I feel happy. After a whole year of going up and down and feeling like crap from taking androcur, I am down to half tablets in prep for SRS........in 19 days' time!!!!!
I was always happy enough from transitioning to have no regrets whatsoever about doing it, but for long periods of time life just didn't seem worth living. Today I finally felt myself again. I might not feel so good when there are tubes sticking out of me and I can't move, but I bet that I'll feel great this time next year. I'm going to buy a bikini in anticipation of the next Summer!
I honestly don't know if I would still be alive if I didn't. I put everything on the line and was willing to sacrifice everything and would do the same again just to live one day as the person I am. I love living as a woman.
I am happier than a tornado in a trailer park about finally coming to terms with my true self but scared witless about everything else.