Last week I had an issue with an infection that landed me in the Emergency Room... I didn't have an opportunity to take off the women's underwear I typically wear under my regular clothes and by the time the doctor came around there was no getting out of them.
So Murphy's law, not only did a doctor come in to see me, but he had two young female medical students with him... when he noticed the pink bra strap he did pause mid sentence for a couple of seconds... then continued his examination all the while talking his students through the process. At one point he brought them around to point out something on my side, and actually had to move the bra band to show them... neither the doctor or the students seemed nonplussed by the fact that a very manly looking guy happened to be wearing a very womanly looking bra (is there such a thing as a non womanly looking bra?)
I was very encouraged by this, I've always been so afraid of being discovered and here I was in a situation which was one of my greatest fears... and it wasn't a big deal to anyone. I guess that just goes to show, you have to run towards your fears, often you will find them to be nothing more than a paper tiger.
I'm sorry you had to be in the ER. But, I am glad that it went well for you. I hope you are feeling better.
It's going to take more than that to shake medical personnel! They see everything. Hugs, Devlyn
I'm sure they see a lot of seemingly odd things. Glad you weren't overcome with unreasonable fear, it worked out just fine didn't it? I'm sure a lot of people find themselves in potentially embarrassing situations like that, that doctor was a professional instructing others to become equally professional and eye rolls and snickers just don't get it.
This brings to mind an event when a big burly fellow in full leathers on his Harley Davidson hog had a head-on with an errant auto in front of where I was working. The fire department apologized profusely to the biker for having to cut his leathers off of his mangled leg only to expose the fact that he was wearing Winnie the Poo underoos. There wasn't any comments, snickers or eye rolls, they handled the situation very professionally. Take heart honey, you're never really alone. It's happened to a lot of folks, we can just be that much more appreciative of the professionals who look after us.
I have been in ER a few times and have had the opportunity to chat with the staff there during my not so healthy periods. Some of the stories they told me of what goes on in there were hard to believe as most were about drug users and the associated violence. They talked to me as I was really sick and getting a lumberpuncture which takes some time. Not for the faint hearted if you don't like needles. It is a huge one into the lower spine. I have had more than one so knew what to expect...
As long as you don't cause them trouble, your OK in their eyes.
Quote from: Brooke777 on November 30, 2012, 06:07:52 PM
I'm sorry you had to be in the ER. But, I am glad that it went well for you. I hope you are feeling better.
Thanks, yes I'm definitely feeling better!! They ended up hospitalizing me till they could get the infection under control, and I was so comfortable with the staff's acceptance of my gender role defying clothing choices that I continued to wear them under my gown during my stay. I had some open and friendly discussions about it with several of the nurses who were curious about it, but it was all very accepting without a trace of negativity or judgment.
I even got advice on how to hand wash my delicates in the sink since I didn't exactly have fresh undies to change into during my stay... so all in all it was a very pleasant experience and to be honest it's been a catalyst for me to explore options for developing a body that's more aligned with my own sense of gender identity, and less aligned with what I feel society expects of me. :)
I am glad that their acceptance has helped give you the confidence to move forward in your life. I hope all goes well for you.
First, I'm with Shan on this issue . I have several relitives in the medical profession. On the whole , I've also noticed in my studies of Transgendered individuals that yes, we're sometimes a "Curiousity". Fact is , medical technicians are probably way more accepting than society at large gives them credit for . ellen
I nearly had a similar experience. I had injured my finger badly at work and had to go to the emergency room. It needed surgery to be repaired. I was also wearing a bra and panties under my work male work clothes and I also always keep my toe nails polished. Initially the nurse said I would need to get into a gown and remove my shoes for the operating room. I thought it was going to be an embarrassing moment but when the time came they didn't have me take anything off that I was wearing. Whew...close call averted.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 30, 2012, 06:14:25 PM
It's going to take more than that to shake medical personnel! They see everything. Hugs, Devlyn
Yep
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Quote from: Jamie D on December 03, 2012, 02:39:11 AM
Yep
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Jamie you are supposed to drink them.
Funniest I have seen in the ER was years ago. a young man ruptured his knee on the disco floor (told you it was years ago) in ER we had to cut off his skin tight pants to reveal a rolled up newspaper acting as his rather impressive manhood taped to his leg. No one laughed but Geex it was hard (sorry pun intended).
The second was in Liverpool Royal Infirmary on a Saturday night. The guy was quietly sitting in the waiting area with a stiletto shoe stuck out of his head. I think it was red. I was stuck between wondering what he had done to annoy his woman that much, how she walked home, and did they get back together.
'Oh BTW sir here is the shoe to return to your lady' says the medic :laugh:
Ok, I have a question regarding this...
How do you keep the bra from showing through what you're wearing? It's pretty easy to wear panties and not have them noticed, I too do that a lot but I can't seem to hide bra straps/bra's. It's like they show through whatever I'm wearing. I'm terrified that someone at work would pat me on the back or something, notice that I'm wearing a bra.
I'd pass out if I had been in that position though, I know that was terrifying.
Quote from: KaylaW on December 07, 2012, 12:27:35 AM
Ok, I have a question regarding this...
How do you keep the bra from showing through what you're wearing? It's pretty easy to wear panties and not have them noticed, I too do that a lot but I can't seem to hide bra straps/bra's. It's like they show through whatever I'm wearing. I'm terrified that someone at work would pat me on the back or something, notice that I'm wearing a bra.
I'd pass out if I had been in that position though, I know that was terrifying.
Been there...Wear an A - shirt (wifebeater) over the bra then put your shirt over it. Flesh tone bras don't show through white or light colored shirts but white bras do. If you put a white A- shirt over a white bra, it won't show up under a white outer shirt. Learned this from smart women who are forever criticizing other women who wear black bras under white blouses, etc.
Quote from: KaylaW on December 07, 2012, 12:27:35 AM
Ok, I have a question regarding this...
How do you keep the bra from showing through what you're wearing?
I usually wear a comfy bra that isn't too tight, doesn't dig in and with that I can usually wear a thick dark colored t-shirt and it doesn't show through. For work or school I usually wear a button down shirt over the tshirt as an extra layer of protection but I'm comfortable in wearing just the tshirt the rest of the time.
I'm really happy you had a positive experience in the ER.
In 2004 I ended up in a local hospital emergency room, and when my TS past was discovered by the ER doctor, he refused to treat me! The most he would do was shoot me up with pain meds and transfer me to intensive care where I had to wait until another doctor showed up and I could be sent to surgery. Even worse, because I had been treated in the hospital chain before and identified by my SSN, the hospital attempted to put an wrist ID on my with my former male name and "M". They then tried to coax me to sign all of the authorizations and hospital paperwork in my old name. This is despite me presenting them a legal drivers license showing my new name and "F." I eventually called for the administrator and told her "If I need to sign the paperwork in that name in order for you to render life saving assistance, I'll do so, but keep in mind that "he" isn't insured, and I really doubt that my insurance is going to pay you ANYTHING if you choose to prepare all paperwork in that name." 5 minutes later she reappeared with a new hospital ID bracelet with the correct info, as well as re-done paperwork with the correct information. I really hate the healthcare around here. (Florida)
I'm not even sure that medical people are more accepting, I think it's more that: a) they have better things to do, an ER is a constant life/death situation, and b) they have seen so much they are totally jaded. I have a good friend who was a head doc at the big ER in SF for decades and he always told me that he saw more gruesome violent injuries on a typical Friday/Saturday night then he did at field hospitals when he was in Nam. He's considered one of the top experts in the world at treating knife wounds. And when I asked him about this issue once his reply was basically the 'a' response above. I was worried about coming in after an accident with nice lace underwear and he told me that if they were in the way they would just be cut off like any other item of clothing that was in the way. Then he added, and it's a lot more common than you think, so it's not like it would be the first time.
QuoteHow do you keep the bra from showing through what you're wearing? It's pretty easy to wear panties and not have them noticed, I too do that a lot but I can't seem to hide bra straps/bra's. It's like they show through whatever I'm wearing. I'm terrified that someone at work would pat me on the back or something, notice that I'm wearing a bra.
In the winter I wear a bra every day at work. I don't wear any that are padded and I wear bulky sweatshirts or sweaters. I'm sure if someone really looked there is still some evidence of it but it's not that noticeable. Like you, I used to be terrified someone would notice and I'm sure I acted strangely when I first started. But now I am completely used to it and I never even think about it. People have pat me on the back and put their hands on my shoulder. If anyone has suspected they haven't said a word or acted any differently to me.
In the summer I will wear a bra under a baggy t-shirt in public but I can't risk it at work. I'm sure I will not be able to get away with that any more though. My boobs are growing and a baggy t-shirt isn't going to hide them anymore.
This emergency room thing has always been a fear of mine too. Nice to know that my fears are unfounded.
Quote from: AngieT on December 07, 2012, 10:44:06 PM
I'm really happy you had a positive experience in the ER.
In 2004 I ended up in a local hospital emergency room, and when my TS past was discovered by the ER doctor, he refused to treat me! The most he would do was shoot me up with pain meds and transfer me to intensive care where I had to wait until another doctor showed up and I could be sent to surgery. Even worse, because I had been treated in the hospital chain before and identified by my SSN, the hospital attempted to put an wrist ID on my with my former male name and "M". They then tried to coax me to sign all of the authorizations and hospital paperwork in my old name. This is despite me presenting them a legal drivers license showing my new name and "F." I eventually called for the administrator and told her "If I need to sign the paperwork in that name in order for you to render life saving assistance, I'll do so, but keep in mind that "he" isn't insured, and I really doubt that my insurance is going to pay you ANYTHING if you choose to prepare all paperwork in that name." 5 minutes later she reappeared with a new hospital ID bracelet with the correct info, as well as re-done paperwork with the correct information. I really hate the healthcare around here. (Florida)
How dam*ed exasperating! You said the magic words though, it's all about $$$. On another level they could have been facing some huge litigation because I'm sure someone from Transgender Legal would pick up the scent of a windfall opportunity.
Quote from: AngieT on December 07, 2012, 10:44:06 PM
I'm really happy you had a positive experience in the ER.
In 2004 I ended up in a local hospital emergency room, and when my TS past was discovered by the ER doctor, he refused to treat me! The most he would do was shoot me up with pain meds and transfer me to intensive care where I had to wait until another doctor showed up and I could be sent to surgery. Even worse, because I had been treated in the hospital chain before and identified by my SSN, the hospital attempted to put an wrist ID on my with my former male name and "M". They then tried to coax me to sign all of the authorizations and hospital paperwork in my old name. This is despite me presenting them a legal drivers license showing my new name and "F." I eventually called for the administrator and told her "If I need to sign the paperwork in that name in order for you to render life saving assistance, I'll do so, but keep in mind that "he" isn't insured, and I really doubt that my insurance is going to pay you ANYTHING if you choose to prepare all paperwork in that name." 5 minutes later she reappeared with a new hospital ID bracelet with the correct info, as well as re-done paperwork with the correct information. I really hate the healthcare around here. (Florida)
The Pathology service where I am is in the process of getting a new computer system for all of the Path labs. One of the essential requirement was that the system has to have a quick, safe, and totally confidential means of changing the identity of TG patients so that they are correctly identified as themselves.
I checked my details to see and I'm identified as female, correct name and all of my past records have been updated to my correct name and gender.
Quote from: Cindy James on December 08, 2012, 10:59:21 PM
The Pathology service where I am is in the process of getting a new computer system for all of the Path labs. One of the essential requirement was that the system has to have a quick, safe, and totally confidential means of changing the identity of TG patients so that they are correctly identified as themselves.
I checked my details to see and I'm identified as female, correct name and all of my past records have been updated to my correct name and gender.
That's as it should be but unfortunately a lot of them still haven't entered the 21st century mentally or materially with updated IT equipment.
Well thanks for the advice of the A shirt, didn't know that. I don't really have bra's that actually "fit" me, not correctly except for maybe one and it's a sea-foam green color I guess. What I really need is to be fitted correctly for a bra. My problem then will be when I use forms, the bra won't be the right size, I don't guess.
This is a issue for sure. I'm so confused. I guess once things get to where I can do more of what I want at home, the ex gets out, then I guess I'll learn a lot more. What I really need is someone close to me that I could become friends with and hang out with and teach me what I don't know, someone to help me learn the ropes I guess, haha.
Thanks for the A shirt info though... I'll try that.
Find out when and where your local TG support groups meets and attend a few of those, eventually you'll meet someone close by that will give you some helpful advice!
I know several doctors pretty closely. I've hung around with tons of medical students in social settings and been part of pretty frank conversations. And I know a few very closely who are emergency medicine doctors. So just by observation, I've picked up a little bit about their culture.
Did they ever talk about it? Slight chance but probably not. Honestly, doctors see a million things per day. When they get off work, they want to talk about stuff other than the details of their job. Unless it's something _really_ different, like having a superstar celebrity patient coming to your hospital (I've heard a few of those stories, since some of my family and several of my friends work in UCLA).
Would they ever _say_ anything about it to you or mistreat you for it? I'd say that would almost never happen in a hospital. It has nothing to do with respecting you. It would just look so enormously unprofessional to their peers. Purely amongst themselves, that kind of thing would be a huge faux pas. While they typically don't talk a lot about the details of their patients, they do talk a LOT about the people they work with. Start being a dick to patients and everyone in the hospital knows five minutes later.
Then again, I'm in the LA area. Your mileage may vary if you're going to a hospital in Texas or Mississippi.
Well, it looks like I may have to go back to the ER, the infection symptoms are back, this time including chills...
I feel only slightly apprehensive about leaving my bra and panties on when I go in, but what do you all think? Should I not tempt fate and just go in with gender appropriate clothes? I would be more comfortable in my usual bra and panties... but why tempt fate on the possibility of running into someone that has a problem with it? But then at the same time, why do I need the permission of others before I can wear clothes that I find comfortable?
Not sure, I'm split on which way to go, any tiebreakers?
I think you should dress however you feel comfortable. I don't think you will have any trouble either way. The most important thing is you get healthy! I hope everything works out.
Quote from: Brooke777 on December 13, 2012, 10:31:17 AM
I think you should dress however you feel comfortable. I don't think you will have any trouble either way. The most important thing is you get healthy! I hope everything works out.
Well, I decided to wear what I find comfortable... so I went in with my usual bra under my tshirt. I don't know if I was being paranoid or what but I was getting a lot of stares in the waiting room... and I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable with my decision. By the time they took me back to the exam room I decided I would stop tempting fate and took off the bra before the doctor came in.
But aside from that it went well, they gave me IV antibiotics, a couple of scripts for pain and antibiotics and sent me home.
I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable with your choice. I hope the antibiotics work and you get over this thing. Best of luck to you.
I think it is common that everyone who goes to the emergency room, to think that they are being looked at as it is an uncomfortable and strange situation for everyone. Noone really wants to be there in the first place and I do think many do watch who else is coming in and what might be there problem. Just my take on it.