So I wasnt sure what to title this post as it's my first post but I wanted to mix it up. I have been lurking here for quite a few years leading up to my SRS -- The last couple months have been quite the ride through surgery and recovery and worrying and stress about my work and ability to return coupled with the knowledge I knew I had to give it time...the waiting..ya that sucked! --
Let me preface that I am 28 years old, I was 27 when I had the surgery (birthday last month), and i've never really had any medical problems to speak of coming into this surgery -- Its kind of a gut check going in to an operation knowing all of the complications that could arise and that I was messing with alot of important equipment that wasnt malfunctioning or anything...no it worked fine before, but it didn't match the rest of my body and I knew it was time. All of the hard parts were already done, the living full time part of my transition, the self-taught voice lessons I gave myself, working full time incognito and being accepted, saving up the large sum of $$$ to pay for it all, everything I really ever wanted but still I wanted to complete the last piece of that puzzle.
Surgery went by quick. There were no complications really to speak of and Dr. McGinn did a wonderful job on me I think, especially since I didnt have much down there to work with. Things are pretty rough in the very beginning but it is strangely awesome how the body bounces back, this is my third week back at work and I took a healthy time off (8 weeks) to ensure I could have as much healing time as possible. Mostly everything is pretty numb down there at first and dilations 5 x a day are a real pain, thankfully im down to a more manageable albeit still pretty regular 3x a day.
Since life has returned more or less to normal, except for the way I pee and the dilation schedule, I have had a growing concern building about my libido and sensitivity post-op. I had only made a couple "attempts" around weeks 4-6 to stimulate the clitoris due to initial fears of touching down there and not wanting to "hurt" anything -- I knew mentally I desired satisfaction and I could get aroused if touched down there or had intimate thoughts, but I wasnt sure if this was going to be my limit or not or if I would ever have the ability to achieve an orgasm...this definitely also depressed me a little bit after the first failed attempt or so, but I tried to put it in the back of my mind because although I really wanted to be able to have an orgasm and that extra step closer to intimacy as a free spirited woman, I also knew I was a more complete person now and needed to give it time and keep my spirits up.
After reading some forum posts here and finding info that seemed to point towards some people having a lot of difficulties and taking many months if not years to achieve, this compounded my worries to the effect of asking Heather what we could do to help things along -- She recommended to go on this testosterone cream compound which Ive been applying for less than two weeks. I actually had my first orgasm the night after putting it on, though I doubt it was related to the cream.
Though strangely enough it wasnt induced physically, I had a wet-dream I guess you could say. I have had a few of these a year pre-op, and I thought that was just due to testosterone and the male parts being dominant but no...I definitely had my first one in my sleep (at week 9) -- It kind of always amazed me how powerful the mind can be as a stimulant and I wasnt sure if it was real or not at first -- but I kept checking and sure enough it was definitely wet down there.
With that encouragement a week later now I got enough courage and felt in the "mood" enough to give it a try in the world of being awake - It took a little but I was successful and I've only been on the testosterone cream less than 2 weeks now. The trick for me was trying hard not to think of there being new parts down there and letting it distract me from the stimulation -- I used a vibrator to keep a constant stimulation going but what really ended up doing was the rubbing of the clitoris / mons pubis area and the brain stimulation imaginative leading up to point --
So this leads to the question..what makes it so difficult after post op to achieve? I think at first we're so sore and scared to play down there and by the time things start settling down we're maybe not sure "How to" do it... It takes time and experimenting and keeping at it-- I'm just really happy that milestone is behind me now I can *know* for a fact my body is capable of achieving it..and if anyone reading it has had similar fears or is about to go through the surgery and worried about this...maybe this knowledge will help put some of those worries to rest.
Perhaps you are over thinking things hun. You are still so new. 10 weeks is no time at all. Some of it is a learning. Some of it is hormonal changes. Some of it is the fact your genitals have been rearranged. Some of it is mental. So just take your time. Give it a year or so and it will get easier with practise. Remember a lot of natal women don't orgasm at all and having an orgasm is not a measure of good sex.
congratulations on your op!
In my experience i orgasm easier now than i did with a post hormone pre op penis. But it took practise and time.
hmm yes I understand that, maybe I made my post too long-winded... but ya Ive so far been able to achieve two orgasms since my Op, once was while sleeping somehow and the other was tonight when I attempted, 10 weeks post op so I was pretty excited to get it behind me but was going through the rounds of feeling kind of upset with even having to wait that long to feel intimate physically.
It took me eight months to get my first orgasm. Don't push it. There is nothing to be concerned about after 10 weeks.
Quote from: Jessica07 on December 04, 2012, 08:23:21 PM
So this leads to the question..what makes it so difficult after post op to achieve? I think at first we're so sore and scared to play down there and by the time things start settling down we're maybe not sure "How to" do it... It takes time and experimenting and keeping at it-- I'm just really happy that milestone is behind me now I can *know* for a fact my body is capable of achieving it..and if anyone reading it has had similar fears or is about to go through the surgery and worried about this...maybe this knowledge will help put some of those worries to rest.
First, 10 weeks is pretty fast. It took me twice that long, and even that isn't exactly slow. So, congrats! I hope you feel good about that.
As to the question... I think a lot of it was that feeling like "it's a surgical site, I shouldn't even really be touching it." I was super nervous to damage anything in the first 3 months at least. And also, all the swelling and scars and whatnot did not make me feel super sexy.
Also, the how thing? It took me a long time to work out that I still pretty much function exactly the same way I did pre-op; things are just in different places. I was expecting more of a difference and that sort of confused and waylaid me.
I also think that for some people their libidos really crash on HRT, so they have super low incentive in general. Thankfully that isn't a problem for me at least.
Quote from: Jessica07 on December 04, 2012, 08:23:21 PM
So I wasnt sure what to title this post as it's my first post but I wanted to mix it up. I have been lurking here for quite a few years leading up to my SRS -- The last couple months have been quite the ride through surgery and recovery and worrying and stress about my work and ability to return coupled with the knowledge I knew I had to give it time...the waiting..ya that sucked! --
When I had my SRS surgery I was afraid to touch anything down there unless it involed the act of dilating. Even then I always worried a bit especially right after surgery. I was happy when I didn't have to dilate with all kinds of sterilization requirements. Well after doing that for a few months my curiousity finally got the better of me and I figured it was time to give the girly bits a work out. The one thing that doesn't come with a vagina is an owners manual, so I had to figure this one out on my own. What I've discovered about myself is this:
If I'm not in the mood it ain't gonna happen. No amount of poking, prodding, pornos, nothing. It took me quite a while after surgery before I was finally in the mood.
I took a good 6 months maybe more before I decided I needed an orgasm (and boy did I ever)
Porno movies are all crap. Really getting myself to that point wouldn't look sexy on a camera but it feels great
I can definitely have more than 1 orgasm, although my limit appears to be about 3, sometimes 4 and then I am pretty drained.
Good replies ;) -- Ya Sarah I had read to kind of treat it that way and not really "change" anything too much with how to do it as far as triggers and methods goes, but it took a little getting used to -- but im just happy to of gotten it behind me. It was the same for after surgery when the catheter got removed and I was hoping the peeing thing would go ok, just relieved to have been able to be sure its all good down there, more or less ;)
Someone sent me a private message and i'm unable to reply or send messages, maybe my accounts still too new?
Anyway, hopefully they check this thread and this answers their questions...
Prior to the surgery I did about 8 hours of electrolysis with an experienced electrologist in my area (80$ per session) -- over the course of a couple of months. I have pretty thin body-hair overall though and we focused on the area's that Dr. McGinns office outlined (Scrotal area + any present on shaft) pretty confident we got it all and it didn't break the bank..so I do recommend this.
As far as supplies to bring the list that the office provides is really pretty comprehensive, and the area has enough pharmacies and places around that you can send someone to pick up a few things here and there as needed -- If you had issues with constipation like I have had in the past after surgeries I really recommend making sure you adhere to all of the warnings about diet and stool softening, it really reduces the stress to know that your not gonna tear anything after the surgery due to a bad stomach ache.
As for things not on the list, I would *definitely* get a "back" pillow -- the ones with the little arms that help to keep you propped up for long periods -- The worst part was really back-pain/discomfort in the initial days after the surgery and although you cant use it right away, it will help during your stay in the area and help you out a lot. I got one at Walmart for like 16$ and its purple too, and I still use it for dilating sessions.
The nurses in lower bucks were all very kind and thoughtful and have cared for many patients from Dr. McGinn, so I was pretty happy with their attentiveness and skill, they would come in and change my ice packs and go and reply to my buzzes if I needed anything --
Yes exactly... but I opted for the more economical route ;) 20$ish
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Cut-Fur-Backrest-with-Suede-Back/17237336 (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Cut-Fur-Backrest-with-Suede-Back/17237336)
Well I´m 10 months post op and I have only had 3 orgasms and all of them in my dreams. They where all very physical and woke me up and made me very wet. I started to try out my new gear first after 6 months, but than again I had very hard scar tissue development and this made things just uncomfortable for a long time.
But having sex awake still does not give me orgasm and it is not because of the lack of trying. There is really nothing wrong with my sex drive, in my head at least, and I had a good lover. But no luck. I am a little disappointed right now and don´t feel like having sex. There is not really any special sensation in my clitoris and it´s basically just boring right now. I hope that what I experienced in my dreams could also happen in reality.
I was also wondering if testosterone would help physically. I´ve also had a little too low estrogen since operation and of course no T.
Quote from: Julo on December 14, 2012, 03:47:12 AM
Well I´m 10 months post op and I have only had 3 orgasms and all of them in my dreams. They where all very physical and woke me up and made me very wet. I started to try out my new gear first after 6 months, but than again I had very hard scar tissue development and this made things just uncomfortable for a long time.
But having sex awake still does not give me orgasm and it is not because of the lack of trying. There is really nothing wrong with my sex drive, in my head at least, and I had a good lover. But no luck. I am a little disappointed right now and don´t feel like having sex. There is not really any special sensation in my clitoris and it´s basically just boring right now. I hope that what I experienced in my dreams could also happen in reality.
I was also wondering if testosterone would help physically. I´ve also had a little too low estrogen since operation and of course no T.
I've had a lab test and my T is 0,03 or something, nearly to nothing, even a natal woman has a bit more, but I take both estrogen and progesterone which I think it helps raise the libido. I do feel aroused and like having sex with my boyfriend, three months post op but do not feel like I can get to a point to have orgasm yet.
@Julo, I feel about the same.. I'm almost a year post op and dit not have any orgasm. My libido has also disappeared since the surgery.
Quote from: strawberry on December 19, 2012, 03:39:17 PM
@Julo, I feel about the same.. I'm almost a year post op and dit not have any orgasm. My libido has also disappeared since the surgery.
Something interesting to note is that most cis women with low libido are given a small dose of testosterone to boost it so that they can experience a climax. Most post-op trans-women whether having had SRS or an Orchiectomy eventually have such low levels of testosterone the the libido will flatline completely. I use .02 ml T cream from a compounding pharmacy and rub it on my anus following a bath or shower, it's quickly absorbed there and leaves no mess. I have since experienced some remarkable orgasms unlike anything pre-op ever.
Am now almost 3 months post Op (monday) -- Been on the T cream for almost a month and I am not sure if thats long enough to draw significant conclusions however I have noticed myself feeling a bit frisky throughout the day at times even while at work, which is noticable because I had that whole "flatlined" feeling up until this point -- Although it might still be too early...especially since in the first couple of months you're still adjusting to things (I could still be counted in that phase) it may kind of lead you away from experimenting in that area -- I'm still not ready for sex yet, I feel like I probably wouldnt be able to have an orgasm with normal sex yet but im not sure -- Though since posting here I have brought my total up to 5 orgasms -- The compounding might just be what I needed...as it puts that hint of excitement into the idea of sex to the point where it can motivate one to put some effort into it more than if you were out of the mood...
A lot of trans women balk at the idea of any T whatsoever, but if you have achieved most of your feminizing development it isn't going to be a negative in any way, and for me it hasn't impeded any continued feminizing whatsoever. and with such a small amount it isn't going to cause any kind of reversals in your feminizing. It will heat up your libido just as it does for CIS women who need a boost. The adrenal gland is the only source of T once the male gonads are gone, so if you're not out playing sandlot football or backyard B-ball which isn't very likely for a post-op woman, then you aren't going to be getting enough T to keep your libido up to that of a normal red blooded CIS female. Be careful at banging away at the new equipment though as you are still healing!
I agree at first it seems little strange incorporating the hormone I have fought to suppress. But after reading into the biology of it all it does make sense
Quote from: Jessica07 on December 22, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
I agree at first it seems little strange incorporating the hormone I have fought to suppress. But after reading into the biology of it all it does make sense
With knowledge comes wisdom!
Now I know I will try T, even discussed it with my endo two weeks ago. I want to have as normal hormone levels as possible, even T level. Since my problem is very physical and not mental it makes sense. I want to have sex, it´s just physically boring right now.
But now I just had my colon connected again after a colostomy and also a reduction of my erectile tissue so it will have to wait for a while. My E level was too low also so I have different dose now to get it right first. Patience, patience and even more patience....
But now I am a little hopeful at least!
Julo
Quote from: Julo on December 23, 2012, 03:50:21 AM
Now I know I will try T, even discussed it with my endo two weeks ago. I want to have as normal hormone levels as possible, even T level. Since my problem is very physical and not mental it makes sense. I want to have sex, it´s just physically boring right now.
But now I just had my colon connected again after a colostomy and also a reduction of my erectile tissue so it will have to wait for a while. My E level was too low also so I have different dose now to get it right first. Patience, patience and even more patience....
But now I am a little hopeful at least!
Julo
Well you have a lot on your plate right now, but hang in there honey you will prevail and be able to enjoy yourself once again. The human body has a tremendous capacity to heal and adjust given time and patience along with the right medications. Keep us posted on your progress!
Quote from: Shantel on December 23, 2012, 09:10:39 AM
Well you have a lot on your plate right now, but hang in there honey you will prevail and be able to enjoy yourself once again. The human body has a tremendous capacity to heal and adjust given time and patience along with the right medications. Keep us posted on your progress!
I know this is is an old topic but I encourage the same problems six months post op. My T levels are lower then the lowest CIS female value. I cannot come and although I want to have sex mentally, it's boring down there. My doc prescribed me a T cream and told me to apply it to my belly once a day. The dosage is very low but it disturbs my mood... I hate unbalance my hormone system again...
Last year before SRS I only orgasm as a male two times and it was not easy to do. Two times in a year is too little... I'm afraid that I was wrong that I left my pre op equipment out of the game....I think it plays a role in order to continue to function properly post op....
What do you think? Should I continue T cream, maybe try it at night. But then again, I do not like the idea that I consume more chemicals while being post op....I feel like guinea pig....
Tonia,
Like I have previously stated I had an orchiectomy about ten years ago. My libido flatlined I wasn't interested in sex and was unable to enjoy a climax for several years until I had a long conversation with a pretty little naturopathic doctor who specializes in hormone treatments for aging patients. She told me that postmenopausal women and women who have had a hysterectomy can have their libido back by using a small amount of T cream, she went on to say that the same holds true for a post-op MtF transsexual as well because they share the same situation as any CIS female on HRT. So I took her word for it and started using some bio-identical T cream that she prescribed which comes from a compounding pharmacy and I put a small dollop on my butt's zizwheel following my shower each day, because it's closest to the prostate which corresponds to the cis female's G-spot the real earth shaker involved in a climax. It is absorbed right away and does not interfere with my feminizing regimen in any way and I'm good for the day. So if you have complete SRS or just an orchiectomy you are post-op and technically no longer physically male since the gonads are gone, the only difference is one's clitoris is hidden and the other's is on a pedestal. Llibido in MtF as well as cis women is dependent on a small amount of T in the system to make it happen. Young healthy women do normally have a small amount of T which is produced along with estrogen by their ovaries, without it they would have absolutely no libido and no desire for sex. Anxiety concerning the use of that small amount of testosterone is a mental issue as so many trans women consider it to be the boogyman which is ridiculous given the tiny amount we are talking about.
Quote from: Shantel on February 18, 2013, 08:35:52 AM
Tonia,
Like I have previously stated I had an orchiectomy about ten years ago. My libido flatlined I wasn't interested in sex and was unable to enjoy a climax for several years until I had a long conversation with a pretty little naturopathic doctor who specializes in hormone treatments for aging patients. She told me that postmenopausal women and women who have had a hysterectomy can have their libido back by using a small amount of T cream, she went on to say that the same holds true for a post-op MtF transsexual as well because they share the same situation as any CIS female on HRT. So I took her word for it and started using some bio-identical T cream that she prescribed which comes from a compounding pharmacy and I put a small dollop on my butt's zizwheel following my shower each day, because it's closest to the prostate which corresponds to the cis female's G-spot the real earth shaker involved in a climax. It is absorbed right away and does not interfere with my feminizing regimen in any way and I'm good for the day. So if you have complete SRS or just an orchiectomy you are post-op and technically no longer physically male since the gonads are gone, the only difference is one's clitoris is hidden and the other's is on a pedestal. Llibido in MtF as well as cis women is dependent on a small amount of T in the system to make it happen. Young healthy women do normally have a small amount of T which is produced along with estrogen by their ovaries, without it they would have absolutely no libido and no desire for sex. Anxiety concerning the use of that small amount of testosterone is a mental issue as so many trans women consider it to be the boogyman which is ridiculous given the tiny amount we are talking about.
Thank you for your help, but what is zizwheel? You mean anus or something?
Quote from: tonia on February 20, 2013, 02:33:57 AM
Thank you for your help, but what is zizwheel? You mean anus or something?
Yes, I didn't want to to say the ring around my ->-bleeped-<-, it just sounds so nasty. Yes that's the place, it's a very short distance from the mostly deflated prostate and is absorbed quickly through that tissue and helps perk up libido rather nicely. One of the extra perks is that you will get erect super sensitive nipples. They show through my bras and tops, but girls do have nipples huh? :laugh:
Quote from: Shantel on February 20, 2013, 08:45:43 AM
Yes, I didn't want to to say the ring around my ->-bleeped-<-, it just sounds so nasty. Yes that's the place, it's a very short distance from the mostly deflated prostate and is absorbed quickly through that tissue and helps perk up libido rather nicely. One of the extra perks is that you will get erect super sensitive nipples. They show through my bras and tops, but girls do have nipples huh? :laugh:
Ok thanks for the info, I might give it a try once again...
When you have srs the neo clitoris is much smaller area than the original male glans thus losing a lot of nerve endings. (Dr. McGinn mentioned
this )
Also a genetic woman's clitoris has many more nerve endings than a male glans (head ) So it goes to reason the neo cltoris will have even less nerve endings. yes srs spares some nerves.
I've seen many posts, all the time from post ops,stating that they had orgasms, some even 3 months after srs. What a bunch of poo.
As many people may know some genetic woman have trouble achiving orgasm
If there is sensativity in the neo clitoris you should be able to orgasm. 10 weeks Be patient. You can try a small amount of testosterone. (Yes I have said the dirty word testosterone ) They have done this for GW with for low libido and orgasm problems.
my email is vnappa52@gmail.com No hate mail please.
Edited for profanity.
Just to update on things from when I initially posted -- a week of T cream and I was good, though I think I just figured out my way more so than the T cream actually being enough in my system to have an effect -- So 10 weeks post Op was how long it took me to have my first. Though now I just had my 5 month anniversary since my SRS and Ive not had a problem, it just takes getting used to.
Just to let you know some happy news: I had an orgasm ;D
Didn´t get any T cream yet, but I will actually still try it since my sensitivity is not that great. But I still had a really good orgasm!
Such a relief!
Quote from: Julo on April 04, 2013, 01:17:00 PM
Just to let you know some happy news: I had an orgasm ;D
Didn´t get any T cream yet, but I will actually still try it since my sensitivity is not that great. But I still had a really good orgasm!
Such a relief!
Great news. Im six months post op and stil numb.
I think that the often said one year recovery time to start feeling more normal really is true. As hard as it is to not get worried, patience is what we need to find... At 6 moths I was not even considering trying out my new gear but than again I had extra big complications. Stress and worry is the worst you can do (and the hardest to not have as well, in my experience)
Keep positive Tonia! I was all messed up and it still worked.
Be patient! The time will come. I had a strange thing during my both recoveries (two stage operation) I was very horny in my clitoris like a month after both surgeries. I didn´t do or feel like doing anything about it though but felt that it was very hopeful thing. Than I was disappointed that it was so boring for a long time. And than it started being more comfortable, after a year. But I have heavy scar tissue development so it was alot about that.
You do actually get a "erection" still since it is not possible to take away all erectile tissue. And that´s maybe not good if it´s still healing...
Quote from: Julo on May 03, 2013, 02:05:43 PM
Be patient! The time will come. I had a strange thing during my both recoveries (two stage operation) I was very horny in my clitoris like a month after both surgeries. I didn´t do or feel like doing anything about it though but felt that it was very hopeful thing. Than I was disappointed that it was so boring for a long time. And than it started being more comfortable, after a year. But I have heavy scar tissue development so it was alot about that.
You do actually get a "erection" still since it is not possible to take away all erectile tissue. And that´s maybe not good if it´s still healing...
Why should it be bad to feel that you have erection? I really enjoy that I feel my vagina changes when I hear or think horny things. It's not seen by anyone anyway. I'm nine months post op, I can come with masturbation, sometimes within an hour and sometimes less than half an hour. I cannot come with partners yet, I find it way to hard to come. I need to concentrate a lot when I masturbate in order to come.
I meant that the erection is not very good in the very early stages of healing with all those scars everywhere. Even doctors advise against. Now I enjoy the little erection when it stopped being painful.
I have been using a very small amount of T for some weeks now and it really works. My clitoris woke up just before I started T and I was able to get an orgasm without it but I can really feel the difference and I am pretty unsensitive to everything. The whole area is alive in a different way and for me it is very important to have that sensation. Now when it´s stimulated my mind and body is working together, something that I was missing. The amount I use is even smaller than the prescription because I want to be really careful with it.
Quote from: Julo on June 11, 2013, 11:36:04 AM
The whole area is alive in a different way and for me it is very important to have that sensation. Now when it´s stimulated my mind and body is working together, something that I was missing. The amount I use is even smaller than the prescription because I want to be really careful with it.
Just as I had said earlier in this thread. We're not any different than cis women during or following menopause, it gives their libido a boost and therefore it will do the same for us. Kudos, enjoy your love life girlfriend! :)
It might sound strange but I'm taking a herbal supplement called yohimbe bark which is supposed to help libido by increasing blood flow on genital area. I'm only taking it a week and I can feel more sensate in that area but still can only come alone with masturbation, I cannot come when having sex. I feel like I do not get aroused much enough to come when being with my boyfriend, this must be due to anxiety...still not sure...time will tell.
Tonia,
I'm sure that anxiety can play into this, hopefully you will be able to relax that anxiety enough where you can let it happen. There's nothing strange about that, young cis women often have huge anxiety in the face of their first experience with sexual intercourse, I can't see any difference.
Thanks Shantel,
I will surely enjoy myself this summer... ::) After a year of being really messed up in all ways possible it is really time to have some fun with this new body of mine.
Quote from: Julo on June 11, 2013, 05:12:48 PM
Thanks Shantel,
I will surely enjoy myself this summer... ::) After a year of being really messed up in all ways possible it is really time to have some fun with this new body of mine.
You go girl! :eusa_clap:
Quote from: Cherrie on July 09, 2013, 05:41:31 PM
Is testosterone cream something you'd have to use daily or only when you want to get in the mood?
It's just a tiny amount should be used daily otherwise the erectile tissue will atrophy and won't come back up with just one application. It's such a small dose it won't affect your feminizing HRT in the least. This is for those who are post op or post-orchiectomy.
Quote from: Cherrie on July 09, 2013, 05:52:33 PM
Ah okay thanks. My endo just prescribed me finasteride (I'm 4 months post-op) and he won't prescribe t cream, which makes sense I guess especially if you need to use the cream daily (which I didn't know)
Finasteride and you're post-op? Usually that is used to counter dihydrotestosterone which is a by product of testosterone and it kills your hair follicles on your head and increases MPB. If you're post-op that shouldn't be a problem with the gonads gone. Are you experiencing a lot of hair loss?
Quote from: Cherrie on July 10, 2013, 08:50:09 AM
Not a lot. It's just my hairline that I'm a bit concerned about.
I suppose that we are always faced with choices. either a perfect hairline and zero libido using finasteride or great libido using a tiny amount of T cream daily and the potential for a little hair loss for not using finesteride.
Quote from: Cherrie on July 10, 2013, 03:47:47 PM
I think I will have to find out if I'll have no libido when using finasteride. I never noticed any loss of libido at all when I used Androcur.
Maybe you're just a born hottie dear! :D ;D