Is there anything you miss from your "former" life? I sometimes miss the freedom I used to have. I'd go to a hardware store, for instance, and the clerks didn't treat me like a retarded person. I could walk the streets at night without any fears of being assaulted or raped. That's what I miss. What about you?
Hi Jeannette,
I miss my former energy levels.
W
I miss being able to sing using my full vocal range without worrying about getting read. :-\ I also miss my parents.
I miss taking only ten minutes to get ready in the mornings. Also my physical strength.
Pockets.
~Kate~
Quote from: Jeannette on May 08, 2007, 08:58:32 AM
Is there anything you miss from your "former" life? I sometimes miss the freedom I used to have. I'd go to a hardware store, for instance, and the clerks didn't treat me like a retarded person. I could walk the streets at night without any fears of being assaulted or raped. That's what I miss. What about you?
I went to the hardware store recently, and one of the helpful hardware folks asked me to help him with a customer question! They know me pretty well since I go there a lot as part of my business. It was a curious turn of events.
I miss living close to my family. They live so far away that I only see them once every year or two. And I miss singing. I sang professionally for several years. Singing is just so part of ME and yet it can not now escape to be shared with the world.
But everything else... my career, my church, my marraige, my previous friends, and everything else.... good bye! I don't miss them at all.
Cindi
Quote from: Kate on May 08, 2007, 01:28:58 PM
Pockets.
~Kate~
:D That is why there are purses, silly.
I miss my higher salary!
QuoteWhat do you miss from your "former" life?
Nothing, Nada, Rien, Nichts, Niets, ничто, ingenting, 沒什麼東西, 何も, لا شيء, τίποτα, 아무것, nientetink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Laura Elizabeth Jones on May 08, 2007, 02:02:20 PM
Quote from: Kate on May 08, 2007, 01:28:58 PM
Pockets.
~Kate~
:D That is why there are purses, silly.
Yeah, but that's one of those things Kate has yet to "try". ::) I couldn't wait to get a purse. It's so much more convenient.
Not having to down a number of pills each day.
I don't miss anything, being treated as male feels right after all those years pre-transition.
Matt
Everything
I was a Happy Male with engergy to do what I like when I like like ridding hard. Now I am inbetween the genders - wondering where I am going, Said that I just can not go out and ride like before, Having to take pills for depression, and Stuck where I am for now. I wish all of this would just go away so I can go back to where I was before - I have always said I never hated being Male.
(end of rant)
Alice
(sad today :'()
Being a bitch at work and and the pay,but at least my friends out side of work like me better now as they say I'm more easier to get along with and after all work is work.
Floritine
Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on May 08, 2007, 07:15:27 PM
I don't miss anything, being treated as male feels right
dont miss nothin' to.
I miss how easy it was to date women romantically. Now it takes so much time and effort, and there is just not that many to choose from.
I also despise how married women ask me to be the other person in there marriage. Yeah right. I never had that issue when I was male.
I miss not having to put on makeup everyday. Most days I love puttng it on.
That's about all. I shouldn't really complain. I love being myself and not what other's expect me to be. :)
I miss the days of not having to fear for my job for any reason more than my ability to do it. I also miss being able to swim, as being in transition would raise a few eyebrows at the pool. :)
I miss my family support, even if now I discover just how much blood matters in my family. Finally I miss being able to ask a girl out and not have to worry about whe to tell her i'm a woman. I ironically I get hit on now by woman more than I did ever before. Guess i'm to androginous. ;)
Quote from: Alice on May 08, 2007, 07:22:27 PM
I was a Happy Male with engergy to do what I like when I like like ridding hard. Now I am inbetween the genders - wondering where I am going, Said that I just can not go out and ride like before, Having to take pills for depression, and Stuck where I am for now. I wish all of this would just go away so I can go back to where I was before - I have always said I never hated being Male.
Bike riding I assume you mean. Yes, it is harder to build up the stamina for biking. But I'll be damned if I'll let that stop me. I live on my bike in the summer, and I'm not going to let a little thing like estrogen instead of testosterone beat me. Take some advice from me -- exercise is a good way to fight depression. Go get on your bike... now.
Quote from: Elissa on May 09, 2007, 07:02:48 AM
I also miss being able to swim, as being in transition would raise a few eyebrows at the pool. :)
That's why I only go to pools that have Family Changing Rooms.
There's nothing I miss. My life has improved in all areas.
Dennis
Not too much!! I hate taking all of the pills too, but it is well worth it to be happy. It does take a longer time to dress up now and trying to decide what to wear. "Fickle woman"
Most of the guys in the hardware stores will fall all over themselves to try to help me out. Please don't take me wrong about my coment. It is not because I am some good looking Bay Watch girl. I feel as plain as plain. All the guys see is boobs. They see boobs from across the store.
I am very happy with my life. I have been living as a girl so long now I don't even remember how it was as a boy. I was always trying to escape the boy image. Now that I have done so I am happy.
Deb
"Standing to pee" Let me see if I can remember!! Not really it has been 14 years or so.
The new make-ups are so easy to apply now. I use Bare Escentuals and they go on so fast.
As far as the beach goes, you have to give the guys something to imagine. If they saw it all they would not wonder what was there. You have to keep them guessing!!!
Deb
Quote from: Melissa on May 08, 2007, 04:37:05 PM
Quote from: Laura Elizabeth Jones on May 08, 2007, 02:02:20 PM
Quote from: Kate on May 08, 2007, 01:28:58 PM
Pockets.
:D That is why there are purses, silly.
Yeah, but that's one of those things Kate has yet to "try". ::) I couldn't wait to get a purse. It's so much more convenient.
LOL, nah, I carry it at times now. In broad daylight even! I'm kinda getting into the
"I don't give a..." phase finally. Not to work though, as my computer bag is *already* too much to carry for me.
What I miss the most probably: the affection of my wife, and/or physical affection in general. To be touched. To have someone hold MY hand.
~Kate~
Quote from: Kate on May 11, 2007, 09:26:10 AM
What I miss the most probably: the affection of my wife, and/or physical affection in general. To be touched. To have someone hold MY hand.
~Kate~
It will come, Kate. The right person will come along and sweep you off your feet.
Dennis
Quote from: Dennis on May 11, 2007, 10:08:49 AM
It will come, Kate. The right person will come along and sweep you off your feet.
Dennis
And that is exactly what my wife fears most at times....
Rhonda
Quote from: rhondabythebay on May 11, 2007, 10:42:44 AM
Quote from: Dennis on May 11, 2007, 10:08:49 AM
It will come, Kate. The right person will come along and sweep you off your feet.
And that is exactly what my wife fears most at times....
Mine too. We can probably work through all our other issues, but this one haunts both of us. She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me. She says,
"I know you will. I just know it. Even though you denied it at the time, I knew you'd start HRT one day, I knew you'd transition, and now... I know this. After SRS, you won't be able to deny it any longer. Stop trying to fool both of us and admit what you need."~Kate~
Quote from: Kate on May 11, 2007, 10:53:19 AM
She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me. She says, "I know you will. I just know it. Even though you denied it at the time, I knew you'd start HRT one day, I knew you'd transition, and now... I know this. After SRS, you won't be able to deny it any longer. Stop trying to fool both of us and admit what you need."
Yes, this is a self fullfilling prophecy. She knows you will leave her so she doesn't hold you or spend any intimate time with you, so eventually you will get fed up enough with that and do what she is predicting. She doesn't realize that this is avoidable and only she can do something about it.
Quote from: Kate on May 11, 2007, 10:53:19 AM
Mine too. We can probably work through all our other issues, but this one haunts both of us. She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me. She says, "I know you will. I just know it. Even though you denied it at the time, I knew you'd start HRT one day, I knew you'd transition, and now... I know this. After SRS, you won't be able to deny it any longer. Stop trying to fool both of us and admit what you need."
~Kate~
I've heard those same words Kate, in my case, bi-sexual tendencies heighten her fear factor. She let on when I came out that she has always questioned my sexuality. Melissa is on to something too. I'm trying to make sure the intimacy continues, but she is at times not sure how to treat me because I'm just at the beginning of transistion. I'm lucky because she is bi also. :) I'm feeling sort of stuck between genders at times. :(
Rhonda
My ex is bi, but we split up anyways. She tended to prefer being with men. I'm bi as well and currently in a lesbian relationship. I really cannot blame her for splitting up. There is a HUGE amount of societal pressure to be straight. I have my own fears in regards to being the subject of harm, discrimination, or ridicule due to being in a lesbian relationship. In fact the lesbian fears overshadow and TS fears by leaps and bounds. Sometimes I have trouble dealing with them. On the other hand I do not want to hurt my girlfriend or the potential for a blossoming relationship because of my fears (her being somebody who completely accepts me for who I am) and this is a struggle I face every day. I really can understand why so many TS relationships do not last--even if the wife is bi.
Quote from: Kate on May 11, 2007, 10:53:19 AM
Mine too. We can probably work through all our other issues, but this one haunts both of us. She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me.
Does she genuinely fear that, or is it her way of working towards a divorce? If the latter, there obviously isn't much either of you can do, but in the former case you might be able to talk things through, especially if you can convince yourself that the risk is minimal.
One thing you might point out -- and this is something my wife said to me -- is that yes, there is a chance that you'll end up splitting even if you try to keep together. On the other hand, if you don't make the attempt, it won't be just a chance but a certainty.
Nfr
the times when imagination was the world we loved out on the playground.
Probably the only thing I really miss, which others pointed out too, is not having people assume I don't have any technical skills/know-how whatsoever. But on the positive side those are just more chances to prove ourselves and maybe surprise/enlighten someone. :)
Being in between right now, at this point I miss daily activites. Since I am at a point where I can no longer take off my shirt without people raising an eyebrow, and since I am not "out" yet, things that require me to expose more than i can are out of the question. The beach, boating, pools, jacuzzi, etc. are things that are common in my Southern California lifestyle and I always have to come up with an excuse why I can't go whenever one of my friends invite me.
I can't wait until I am full time so I can go back to doing the things I love. I'm not going to let my transition stop me from doing them. I've always loved sports like snowboarding, skateboarding, wakeboarding, hiking, etc. and will continue to do those things after transition.
What I ask myself at this point in my journey is, "What am I missing from my new life?" The answer to that question is the honest to myself and others about who I really am and the ability to let my true self shine. Love for and by another, for I haven't ever felt what love is. I have been unable to be with anyone in my life, male or female, due to my self-inflicted hate and disgust with myself. Therefore, I have not been able to enjoy the little things like waking up next to someone and feeling close to another person. I "miss" the ability to say, do and feel as I truly do.
Quote from: Elaine on May 12, 2007, 10:31:37 PM
Probably the only thing I really miss, which others pointed out too, is not having people assume I don't have any technical skills/know-how whatsoever. But on the positive side those are just more chances to prove ourselves and maybe surprise/enlighten someone. :)
see thats 1 thing i don't miss.
I had NONE what so ever.
I remember once walking into a hardware store and the guy almost came to the point of kicking me out cause I knew nothing.
Well Nicole, now you can "legally" be a ditz and get away with it! I love being a ditz sometimes. I'm learning to believe that the ditz routine is really a routine from many women. My husband's sister is a pro at it. I'm learning all kinds of good stuff from her.
She has a master's in teaching and has recently retired from teaching at a very young age. She took a job at the local golf course where she lives selling beer and soft drinks from a cart. She doesn't need the money from the job. She needs the free pass to golf nearly every day at almost any tourny course in the country!
So anyway, she was out on the course with her cart last year. (Oh and did I tell you she's a really cute blonde? Well she is.) A group of trendy doctors stopped by and purchased drinks. They flirted with her briefly to which she readily responded as a dumb blonde. That is her way to "make them bleed". One of the doc's said "you know, you don't have to do this. You could go to school and learn a trade. Then you could get a job and make something of yourself." She told me that she stared at him intentionally blank for several seconds. She has a really hard time when men are demeaning. She then turned on her lights and opened her eyes wide and exclaimed in return "Oh! You are right! I should go to school and learn how to do nails in a salon!" The doc's walked away thinking they had just inspired a dumb blonde. I won't tell you what my sis in-law said under her breath.
Cindi
id say nothing personally, or about male life. But i do miss my parents and family :(
Quote from: debisl on May 11, 2007, 09:19:24 AM
"Standing to pee" Let me see if I can remember!! Not really it has been 14 years or so.
I never did.
Quote from: Nicole on May 11, 2007, 06:45:47 AM
one not having to "cover up" my breasts when at the beach or walking through the lounge room at home when friends are there.
I was more embarassed when there wasn't anything to cover up.
Quote from: Kate on May 11, 2007, 09:26:10 AM
What I miss the most probably: the affection of my wife, and/or physical affection in general. To be touched. To have someone hold MY hand.
Ya. That. *sigh*
Quote from: Melissa on May 11, 2007, 12:25:38 PM
Yes, this is a self fullfilling prophecy. She knows you will leave her so she doesn't hold you or spend any intimate time with you, so eventually you will get fed up enough with that and do what she is predicting. She doesn't realize that this is avoidable and only she can do something about it.
In my case I have a real hard time feeling anything for her anymore. After nine years of being told that she is not attracted to me, how can I feel attracted to her?