I'd love to hear of moments when you realized your brain has shifted to a more female way of thinking.
For example, tonight my roomie was watching Karate Kid in the living room (which is in total view of my room). At the end of the movie the kid did some spinning thrust mega jumper down bang kick (sure, that's what it's called) on some kid. That's pretty much the only part of the movie I saw and I said out loud "How can anybody watch that? Kids beating the crap out of each other. It's so barbaric". Now, action movies or Karate Kid never really caught my interest before, but watching some kid knock out another kid has never bothered me before. But what I thought tonight was literally the very first thing I thought. I'm becoming soft! Ugh! lol
Who's next?
Very true. I am now a lot more open to emotion. This morning I cried when my girlfriend described how she had to have her dog put to sleep in her presence.
Karen.
I was at a dinner party - presenting male - and a couple I've known for years came in. I shook the guy's hand, then kissed his wife on the cheek and, without thinking, said, 'Oh God, I LOVE your boots!' Which I did. They were gorgeous. She laughed and said, 'That is SO you ...'
3 months ago a gal at church and i were talking, and I found myself saying something that i would have not said before out loud. She told me I had nice shoes and I replied "Guess how much I paid for these shoes"! She replied "yeah that confirms it for me, your a girl, no guy that I know would talk about how much he paid for a pair of shoes and be excited about it". I only started getting moments like that after i accepted myself.
The other day I watched all the twilight movies. In a row. 'Nuff said.
Today, I was watching an anime episode in sync with a friend, over the Internet, and I almost told him about how I liked a character's shoes, and later how I found weird the huge chain she was wearing. I literally typed it out then erased it because he wouldn't care.
Also, I more and more often tell myself that sometimes, I just don't understand guys.
And uhm... Before, I would often imagine things about being part of some adventure, video game, anime, etc. Being a shinigami, being in Tales of Symphonia, having ninja powers, etc. Now much less. Also, my attraction to swords and such has diminished to almost nothing. Though it might be just not being such a kid anymore. But anyway, now, if I daydream about things, it'll mostly - or almost only - be things related to love and friends.
Hmm, despite not being very grown-up myself in many ways, I have this sort of motherly instinct that's showing itself. Before, children were just children, and I wouldn't look at them too much anyway because guys can't really look at strangers' children without being branded a pervert or something. Now, I see children and am really drawn to them, and sometimes start daydreaming about having children. And before, if a child cried at the restaurant, I'd think "Why did they bring their baby? Make it stop..." Now I'm more like "Poor him! What's wrong?"
Finally, before, I wasn't the biggest fan of action and superhero movies, but they entertained me to an extent. Not anymore, and when there's action in something I'm watching (and usually there isn't that much), I sometimes think "This is endless! Why don't you just tell us who won the freaking fight?" On the other hand I'm much more patient with longer, slower parts in a movie. When I saw the Twilight movie before the last with my mother, for example, she thought the "being in love in a country house" chapter was overly long and they could have gotten it over with. But I actually really enjoyed that part of the movie. I thought that for once, they were letting the happiness last more than two minutes before the next disaster came.
I will always dream of being the heroine. x3
My personality is very tomboyish, the feminine twist has always been around.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 18, 2012, 01:22:29 AM
I'd love to hear of moments when you realized your brain has shifted to a more female way of thinking.
Who's next?
For me, it was when I started to consistently dream i was a female. When i realized both my conscious and subconscious accepted then i was good to go
For me it was when I realized I was reading the magazines geared for women and I was reading the ads,or seeing them on TV and I was catching myself that I was paying more attention to the feminine ads.
for me it was when people started noticing that I got moody at certain times. they told me at like 6 months in that I just seemed to really not be one of the fella's anymore. so they started treating me like a lady.
My mind hasn't really shifted significantly. I have become more free to be myself, but I made very little effort to be someone I wasn't before transition, so the change is minimal.
I acted 'flamboyantly' before, and that now translates into 'femininely'.
If anything, I've gotten more "masculine" because I'm way more secure about my femininity. I didn't like the idea of working out, or doing martial arts, or participating in knife or gun training, but I now see how practical - and fun - these activities can be, so I will pursue them. My interest in swords is also healthy.
It helps to have strong females in your life. Women that show you how badass a woman can be while still being incredibly feminine. I owe my family for these sorts of lessons.
QuoteFor me, it was when I started to consistently dream i was a female.
That's a really good post. I find this more and more. To be honest I don't think I've really paid much attention to my gender in my dreams but after about six months or so of "full time" I've noticed the occasional dream when I'm very aware that I'm a girl. It's possibly due to anxiety over passing or that kind of thing? No idea really. My dreams never make much sense. The other night I dreamed I went abseiling with a friend of mine but we kept getting our ropes all tangled lol.
I'm single and I like kids. My nieces and nephews used me as playground equipment until they were teenagers. I didn't mind. I took a tour of Lowell Observatory on Mars Hill above Flagstaff, AZ this past May. Me and a handful of visitors were joined by a large group of first graders on that tour. They loved the displays in the museum of Percival Lowell, "Canals" on Mars; Clyde Tombaugh, pluto discoverer; Vesto Slipher, galaxy red shift discoverer in which he was discredited with that notion and Edwin Hubble got the credit for that later. Those kids were in awe with the Alvan Clark 24" refractor in the original wooden dome that Percival Lowell used to look for canals on Mars. I took a good panorama shot with those kids around that telescope.
To a week ago when 20 kids, most of them first graders lost their lives to a nut case. That brought back to a local for me school called Columbine. And the flashback of those first graders in awe around the telescope that helped unravel some of the mysteries of the universe. This hit me deeper than Columbine did. I credit my recent use of HRT as the main cause. I was walking around the house that day saying "Little 6 and 7 year olds. Why? Why? Why?" A lot of difference from the simple angry "Goddammit to Hell" response I had with 9-11 and Columbine.
Joelene
Lowell observatory 24" page with a picture of kids: http://www.lowell.edu/visit_clark.php (http://www.lowell.edu/visit_clark.php)
It was quite early for me actually and it would usually kick in when I was doing art projects or hanging out with the other neighborhood girls and my sister instead of the boys my parents thought I should be playing with.
In adult days while in boy mode running my art based business I get all animated and exctied when going over art projects with customers, I'm sure its obvious to them that something is up, but I think they just attribute it to me being the "temperamental artist" ;)
And I am SO sensitive about a lot of things, way more than normal males should be...like last night I stayed up late watching the 1947 version of "Miracle on 42nd St." getting all misty and teary thru the emotional parts :icon_cry2:
And, even though my daughters are grown adults I still like braiding their hair and going shopping with them :) they really like that and often say that none of their other friends dads would dream of doing that! (btw, I'm not out to my girls yet)
I cant imagine what I'm gonna be like when I start HRT this next year, lol
For me it was several years ago on my last ever dear hunt. I was with several guys sleeping on cots in a large tent, it was freezing ass cold and an argument ensued over who would have his cot close to mine. I thought, "What the hell am I doing here? I don't want to kill anything and these guys are acting like dorks!" I own several guns and all the reloading equipment and it's all been gathering a lot of dust in my little shop space for several years now because I'm no longer interested in something that was once an obsession. I let my range membership lapse as I'm not remotely interested in guns or shooting anymore. My old life is a closed book to me other than being able to dredge up some wisdom gleaned from my past life. It's as if i was reborn and am a new and uniquely different person than from my former self. I suppose that's as it should be!
Like just recently I realized that boys like in subtle way demonstrate their dominant role, specially when they are in a position of power and in front of other powerful boys, by asserting their masculine roles with the girls under their command.
Well, one of my boy bosses recently did just that with me -not in a demeaning or machistic way- In the old times I would have not let that one fly, but this time I felt pretty please with myself by fulfilling my submissive female role.
Well, this is an absolutely incredible mind shift for moi.
Parenthetically, I could not help but notice that the other bitches seemed annoyed jealous of the attention I received.
It happened for me when I was out at goodwill with a friend helping her pick out dresses and she held one up to herself. I said, "Oh my god! That dress looks perfect on you! But you dont have any shoes that go with it..." She laughed and said, "Yep, your a girl, no guy would know my shoe collection like that."
I have always been into martial arts, but I found it hard to present myself in the feminine role as a fighter. Once I did however I turned it into a dance and now I love being the heroine. ^.^ I just couldnt be superwoman, im much to naughty. ;)
Well, I'm not completely feminine in thinking. I love comic books, superhero movies, and video game/cartoon violence. Gotta love Tom and Jerry. :P
Anywho, I have had so many of those girly clothing-related moments. Get this: I went to Sears to buy a pair of boots that were 50% off, and I also had a 35% off coupon (35% off sale price. Oh well :() along with a $20 coupon AND some points on my Sears card. I got a $120 pair of boots for... wait for it... $0.50!!!!! AAAAAAAH!!!! ;D
Quote from: DianaP on December 23, 2012, 07:37:19 PM
Well, I'm not completely feminine in thinking. I love comic books, superhero movies, and video game/cartoon violence. Gotta love Tom and Jerry. :P
Anywho, I have had so many of those girly clothing-related moments. Get this: I went to Sears to buy a pair of boots that were 50% off, and I also had a 35% off coupon (35% off sale price. Oh well :() along with a $20 coupon AND some points on my Sears card. I got a $120 pair of boots for... wait for it... $0.50!!!!! AAAAAAAH!!!! ;D
:o wow cool beans, yeah im also kinda mentally part male and female, but i got a deal like that too:
I went to cvs pharmacy and was looking for perfume, I signed up for the beauty club and got a $5 coupon off any fragrance, when there was some shakira brand pefume on clearance for $8.63 and marked down from $24 , I paid $3.63
Quote from: peky on December 23, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
with the girls under their command.
Quote from: peky on December 23, 2012, 04:49:49 PM
fulfilling my submissive female role.
If only it was a joke... Saddening.
Quote from: Isabelle on December 23, 2012, 10:50:56 PM
Quoted for truth.
Yeah, the sex based stereotypes in this thread are just... ::)
I would simply take this approach instead:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapp6.websitetonight.com%2Fprojects%2F2%2F6%2F2%2F7%2F2627239%2Fuploads%2Fxenabro.png&hash=aa37685c8e149d9cbea4d933bbfa30617d5cfd17)
Quote from: Ave on December 23, 2012, 10:57:59 PM
Yeah, the sex based stereotypes in this thread are just... ::)
Ok, I agree that being submissive isn't something that is innately female. However, it's anyone's choice to be submissive or not (although, Peky, you could go without calling it feminine).
Also,
we know that these are stereotypes, and we acknowledge that they're generalizations. You don't need to tell us. However, being politically correct 100% of the time makes people boring, especially when the generalizations are
acknowledged as such and innocuous.
Besides, in US culture at least, there's a reason that some things become generalized (maybe because they're more popular among a particular demographic?). I've seen African American kids acknowledge that they find the stereotype of AAs and fried chicken to be funny, because they see it as being based in a grain of truth. I've also known Dominicans, myself included, that find the stereotype of overbearing Dominican moms to be funny since it's also engrained in some truth. Etc., etc. Of course, not all generalizations are true for everybody, but some are started in a base of moderate truth, and if most people of said demographic finds the generalization to be harmless and acknowledged as being a generalization, then can't we let it go under Ave's might radar?
It's more convenient to just call a group of actions by a generalized name, and none of the girls here are offended, so we can let it slide. Taking it seriously only makes you a proverbial stick in the sand. We've all belabored the point of gender-based stereotypes time and time again. Just let people have some entertaining discussions, please.
Of course, I apologize for coming across as harsh. :)
Quote from: DianaP on December 23, 2012, 11:10:47 PM
Ok, I agree that being submissive isn't something that is innately female. However, it's anyone's choice to be submissive or not (although, Peky, you could go without calling it feminine).
Also, we know that these are stereotypes, and we acknowledge that they're generalizations. You don't need to tell us. However, being politically correct 100% of the time makes people boring, especially when the generalizations are acknowledged as such and innocuous. It's more convenient to just call a group of actions by a generalized name, and none of the girls here are offended, so we can let it slide. Taking it seriously only makes you a proverbial stick in the sand. We've all belabored the point of gender-based stereotypes time and time again. Just let people have some entertaining discussions, please.
Of course, I apologize for coming across as harsh. :)
Hey it's cool, as long as you're aware clinging to these set gender performances don't do any favors to "gender dysphoria".
Didn't the medical treatment of transsexuality start as a means to eradicate gender non conforming people?
Quote from: Ave on December 23, 2012, 11:13:36 PM
Hey it's cool, as long as you're aware clinging to these set gender performances don't do any favors to "gender dysphoria".
Didn't the medical treatment of transsexuality start as a means to eradicate gender non conforming people?
I'll give you the second point, but I don't get the first.
Ave, I love ya', but I have to disagree.
I don't think anyone is clinging to anything. Some girls, trans girls included, just happen to sincerely enjoy certain activities that happen to fall under a generalization of females. I like shopping for nice outfits, playing with my stuffed animals, and baking cookies for my guy friends.
However, I also enjoy activities that fall under male generalizations. I can throw a knife, use power tools, play Super Smash Bros. Brawl on the Nintendo Wii, and choose a superhero movie over Twilight. (Yes, even Superman Returns. :icon_eek: :icon_omfg: :icon_nervious:)
My gender dysphoria stems from the incongruence of my physical//societal state and my inherent gender identity as a woman, not some stereotypes.
Seems I touched a raw nerve, eh? No harm intended.
I just truthfully disclosed an involuntary earth shaking mind shift. I did not choose those feelings, they just come in, and I welcome them.
I spent a great deal of time ponder them, I decided not to uproot them or fight them, but rather to embrace them and see where they lead me.
Yeah, I know they are so in discord with the feminist manifesto, and the American macho women, etc, but then again, I have never been know to follow but my own drum beat.
Well, Peky, none of us mind if you want to explore your feelings. We just don't like submissiveness to be labeled as a feminine attribute. No one's trying to make you follow anyone else.
Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on December 23, 2012, 11:03:50 PM
I would simply take this approach instead:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapp6.websitetonight.com%2Fprojects%2F2%2F6%2F2%2F7%2F2627239%2Fuploads%2Fxenabro.png&hash=aa37685c8e149d9cbea4d933bbfa30617d5cfd17)
Thanks! I identify with Capt. Janeway and Xena! Gender stereotypes? Really!
Joelene
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_VlmHNP9So5Y%2FSa5aEI_OuEI%2FAAAAAAAAA7c%2FigkXMusUfoU%2Fs1600%2F292px-Janeway_Season1.jpg&hash=46467164cf59d887b343291d36d7991204249388)
Quote from: DianaP on December 23, 2012, 11:46:58 PM
Well, Peky, none of us mind if you want to explore your feelings. We just don't like submissiveness to be labeled as a feminine attribute. No one's trying to make you follow anyone else.
Frankly dear I do not give a damn what you or anybody else likes or dislikes. And since the concept of femininity is a social construct my definition of what is feminine or not is as valid as anyone's
Having said that, the fact that my mind shift seem to be hormone mediated, perhaps that feeling may be the natural biological ground state of the female mind. More food for thought
It can be socially constructed or biologically innate, not both. ???
Then again, I was just making a suggestion. No need to rip my head off about it.
Quote from: peky on December 23, 2012, 11:55:13 PM
Frankly dear I do not give a damn what you or anybody else likes or dislikes. And since the concept of femininity is a social construct my definition of what is feminine or not is as valid as anyone's
Having said that, the fact that my mind shift seem to be hormone mediated, perhaps that feeling may be the natural biological ground state of the female mind. More food for thought
Oh shush ::)
I think is totally inappropriate to criticize a deep personal revelation as "politically incorrect." And you were not the only one to do so.
To be fair, I didn't criticize your revelation as "politically incorrect." I IMPLIED (never directly said) that stereotyping in general is politically incorrect, yet forgivable in particular circumstances.
I think it is time this thread had a rest, there is an undercurrent of personal attack and I'm getting sick of it.
Civility please; if you have a problem report it to a Mod.
I have unlocked this but I will hammer anyone who breaks ToS.
I guess today would be that moment, I am watching LOR1 or 2 - not sure which- the tele and then theres the part with the the fights and I actually start cringing in front of my dad and then grab the remote and ask my "do you wanna watch this?" :laugh:
It's funny - cause although I still like destroying stuff in games - my tolerance for it not as much as it used to be.
Reading this thread made me realize there have been a lot of subtle changes in the way I think - and I am glad to be able to post on it.
I don't think I've really had a difference in how I react to things. What I have had is a bit of a personal understanding that things that I previously thought were feminine or masculine aspects to myself are really just myself (without the gendering label). So if I had a mind shift, I guess it would be to drop the labels.
I'm still in the "it's-difficult-to-use-female-pronouns-on-myself" stage, so I can't say there has been any severe mind shifts. But I do have to say that coming out as female and wearing female clothes, makeup blablabla is giving me a peace of mind that I never felt before. I feel it's getting better everyday.
Well, I don't think it's a shift of the mind so much as the ability to actually express my actual thoughts.
Quote from: TessaM on December 23, 2012, 02:59:51 PM
Whenever I watch a movie thats very "happy" or a show i'll just cry uncontrollably. For example, I watched its a wonderful life last night. I cried so much at the ending my shirt was actually wet! If I go on youtube and I type in something along the lines of "90s cartoon intros" ill cry when I watch 2/3rds of them. If I hear the intro to Rupert, i'll cry like theres no tomorow. God, even X-Men intro will bring the tears to my eyes!
That's funny, I did the same thing last night and cried like a baby, I talking a flood.
No mind shift for me. But I never functioned like a male either so maybe thats why? I have never been able to understand males, or felt comfortable around them.
You and I both Carolina ;) Probably why I always fit better with the girls
I've gotten used to being treated a particular way by people now, but I don't think I've had a mindshift really. Overall, I still think mostly the same way, the same fears(just toned down a bit). Maybe something will happen once I do have surgery, but I'm not counting my chickens yet.
When I started punctuating every sentence with 'cute' and 'adorable'....not. ;)
Actually, the only thing's that's changed for me, over the last 15 years, is that I can no longer watch wildlife documentaties. They upset me.