Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Joe. on December 19, 2012, 07:06:13 PM

Title: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 19, 2012, 07:06:13 PM
So tonight I gave my parents the letter to tell them I am trans. They took it a bit better than I thought but they were both really shocked. I feel relieved now, but I'm scared of what the future holds. We're going to go to the doctors after Christmas to see what they can do. Its going to be a long journey but I've now passed the first hurdle.
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: King Malachite on December 19, 2012, 07:12:34 PM
Congrats for passing the first hurdle!  I'm glad they took it better than you thought.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Alex_K on December 19, 2012, 07:18:25 PM
Congratulations!

The people that love are usually more understanding that expected :-)
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 19, 2012, 07:21:35 PM
Thank you both :)
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Devlyn on December 19, 2012, 08:34:25 PM
Glad it went well. Did you get impatient? I thought you were going to wait until the new year. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Elle on December 20, 2012, 03:30:18 AM
Good luck joey!
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: FTMDiaries on December 20, 2012, 05:39:43 AM
Congrats & good luck with the doctors! There's plenty they can do, as you know. :)

You seemed worried about how your mother would react; I'm glad it seems to have gone well.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: MRH on December 20, 2012, 07:34:58 AM
Well done for telling your parents. It took me ages to get up the courage but I think you just get to a point where you get so fed up of living a lie you just have to start living as you truly are and although it's scary to tell people it's also a massive weight lifted.

The first hurdle is always the hardest and I wish you all the luck with the rest of your journey.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Emily Aster on December 20, 2012, 09:41:06 AM
Congrats and good luck.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 20, 2012, 12:35:06 PM
Thank you all.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 19, 2012, 08:34:25 PM
Glad it went well. Did you get impatient? I thought you were going to wait until the new year. Hugs, Devlyn
It wasn't so much impatience it was that I couldn't bear crying myself to sleep and my mum buying me girly stuff all the time. It just all unfolded then I had no choice but to give them the letter.

One of my friends said 'you should of waited' which kind of annoyed me. I know she doesn't mind but I just wish people would at least try to understand how hard it is.
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Devlyn on December 20, 2012, 12:39:13 PM
Well, it must be better for you to just have it out in the open. Many people here didn't face this hurdle until much later in life. Good on ya! Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Patty_M on December 20, 2012, 02:24:35 PM
Good for you!

Telling the people you love most - and risking negative responses - is a very difficult thing to do for you to do and for your family to hear.  That you have had such a response is wonderful.

May the rest of your transition be as smooth!

Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 20, 2012, 06:19:40 PM
Thank you both! It does feel good I must admit. I'm off to uni next year so hopefully if I get in contact with the universities I've applied for I can live as joey. I'm quite excited :)
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: veritasinchains on December 21, 2012, 05:12:18 AM
Congrats Joey! I just came out too. I told my mom and she reacted about the same. A little shocked (though that may have been my bright pink nail poish) but supportive.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 21, 2012, 06:10:01 AM
Quote from: veritasinchains on December 21, 2012, 05:12:18 AM
Congrats Joey! I just came out too. I told my mom and she reacted about the same. A little shocked (though that may have been my bright pink nail poish) but supportive.

Congratulations to you too!
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: spacial on December 21, 2012, 07:10:44 AM
Quote from: Joey4 on December 20, 2012, 12:35:06 PM


One of my friends said 'you should of waited' which kind of annoyed me. I know she doesn't mind but I just wish people would at least try to understand how hard it is.
Joey

Your friend might be wonderful otherwise. I really hope they are. Because that would have been really annoying, especially since it went so much better than you seemed to think.

Really pleased for you.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 21, 2012, 04:32:08 PM
Yeah they're a great friend.
Thank you :)
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: peky on December 21, 2012, 06:17:55 PM
You have "cojones" man!
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 21, 2012, 07:36:21 PM
Thanks haha! Made me laugh
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: aleon515 on December 21, 2012, 10:49:21 PM
Actually a really good reaction they had to it. You wouldn't (normally) expect that it would NOT be a shock. This tends to be very hard for parents, and ones who do not react at least a little negatively as sometimes they have to actually go thru grief at losing a daughter.

This guy has a set of 3 videos with his mom where he interviews her about his transition. This might help out your parents.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTcqqDtyYEo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTcqqDtyYEo)

--Jay
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Emily Aster on December 22, 2012, 07:09:46 AM
Quote from: aleon515 on December 21, 2012, 10:49:21 PM
This guy has a set of 3 videos with his mom where he interviews her about his transition. This might help out your parents.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTcqqDtyYEo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTcqqDtyYEo)

I wish this had been available when I told my mother. I may still use it though. I was an emotional wreck watching it, not as bad as reading the book I gave her, but I think hearing it from another mom would mean more to her.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: spacial on December 22, 2012, 08:59:13 AM
Those are really good videos.
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: aleon515 on December 22, 2012, 09:51:04 PM
He's very smart and I can see a lot of his mom in him. She seems like a very calm wise person. There are a lot of good videos about transition as well-- how he came out, what it means, advice re: passing, etc. etc. (Also hot, did I mention this?)

--Jay
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: Joe. on December 23, 2012, 10:27:36 AM
Thanks for the video link Jay. I will definitely watch those videos when I have time (I've been so busy with work and college lately I have no time for anything else! Roll on Christmas day) I've watched a few of his other videos and they're really helpful. I don't think you mentioned the hot part, but I couldn't agree more ;) haha.
Joey
Title: Re: Told my parents
Post by: gennee on December 23, 2012, 06:16:38 PM
THE FIRST HURDLE IS USUALLY THE MOST DIFFICULT.

:)