I have this friend I met earlier this year. We're really close and I kinda have a thing for him. He doesn't want a relationship, and he's gay and is kinda not into me being trans. It's not what I want, but I respect him enough to let it go and just be friends.
The problem is he sends a lot of mixed messages. I can kind of understand if he's just drunk and does some things he doesn't really mean to, but you don't just accidentally sleep with someone you're just friends with, multiple times. We live together too (in transitional housing, so it's not like either of us can just move) and sometimes it makes things weird. Like we'll be sitting on the couch watching a movie and he'll decide to cuddle up to me. I talked with him about it just this morning, but every time I bring this up it's always the same conversation. He'll say he's sorry and he doesn't mean to screw with my emotions, then he'll do the same thing again.
I kinda think he's just screwed up in his own way and doesn't really know what he wants. Whatever his deal is, it's tripping me out and messing with my heart.
I think Sly that you are an 'ideal' partner. He can have sex with with whenever he wants. Your concerns are immaterial. Giving excuse that he was drunk and did things he didn't mean to is one of the oldest and stupidest calls about rape that has been used for ever.
He wants sex.
I doubt that he cares about you he just likes the sex.
He knows what he wants. SEX.
If you want a relationship with him there has to be ground rules. First no sex. Sex is not a ground for a relationship it is the added bonus. You need to explore and understand and love each other that is where a relationship grows.
You can ask a very simple question. If you want sex with me do you want to give me $10 or have a meaningful relationship.
Expect your heart to be broken.
Sorry Hugs
Cindy