So i was wondering if anyone else seen packing and binding the same way i do.If im weird then maybe i should fix that lol.
(NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS THREAD AS A NON ACCEPTANCE OF THOSE WHO DO IT.)
Anyway lol is it weird i feel like packing and binding isnt for me? like i have massive anxiety about my body yes but i guess for me i would rather come off as a butch until my body is complete instead of using packers and binders.I mean i accept the fact my body is the way it is,even if its not mine.Maybe i should also make clear that-my own mental health had told me that i was really a male and seen myself as such which i do,my issue with anxiety is the acceptance of its current state.I have for 3 months been out socially and privately but the thing is,i want to reach where i need to be in order to get the full treatment i need so should i start doing these things so i can reach that goal or as a person with a opinion and whose been there,do you feel its needed? as long as im presenting as i should be?
There is no checklist, despite what you may have heard, on how to be transgender. A lot of people want to start passing as much as possible. Both to test the waters, so to speak and to help wrap their head around who they are working towards being.
I'm trying to understand where you are coming from. You have anxiety about your body but you feel that binding is somehow dishonest? You are fine with wearing a costume (a body that's not yours) for the time being? People bind and pack to feel more secure with themselves but it's not a requirement to being transgender.
There are legal reasons why people do these things. I'm not sure how it is these days as I've been at this for awhile. Still I remember you use to have to live a year as the opposite gender from your birth assigned gender to qualify for sex reassignment surgery. Before I started taking T I had to get a letter from my therapist stating that I was living and acting as male in order to begin hormone treatments. Binding is part of that as it's hard to impossible to live as male, that is being seen as male, while having obvious breasts.
You know I read someone saying once that we (transsexuals) don't bind and pack for ourselves but for the world at large. We do these things to make it easier for society to see us as we see ourselves. So they will know what pronouns to use and how to address us without us having to remind and convince them constantly.
People most likely won't see you as you see yourself until you do what you can to modify your presentation. However if you are secure enough within yourself then good for you. That takes a stellar amount of backbone.
I bind and pack when I am out, because I really hate the idea of anyone seeing those parts of me, but when I am home I can't wait to get out of my binder and such and switch to a tight sports bra instead. I still don't feel comfortable because I don't like my chest, but. Binding can be very uncomfortable for a lot of reasons. So if you're OK with not binding, I say be grateful for that.
I wish I was as comfortable with my body as you are with yours that I didn't feel the need to bind. Binding has to be one of the most uncomfortable things on earth so if you can live with yourself without doing it kudos to you. If you can live with being called female pronouns out in public then I would say do whatever you want. Just can't expect the world at large to be accommodating and expect to be misgendered.
As far as packing, some guys just don't. I don't pack. I can understand why some guys need that feeling to feel whole about themselves but it's not for me. I wear baggy shorts 95% of the year and packing would just give me a complex about it falling out at some point. Most people aren't looking for a bulge so for myself it's not an issue to go without packing.
I'm sorry to hear that binding is uncomfortable for you guys. I find binding very comfortable and my chest isn't exactly small.
Have you tried http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?language=en (http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?language=en) ? Their binders are vastly superior to Underworks, in function and comfort.
I feel a bit the same by packing, it gives me more dyshoria than not to pack.
I think its general cause I dont have any correct packer so I dont want people to wonder, what ells wierd stuff I been using or something like that.
Thank you for the comments.Ill try and explain how i see myself physically so it wont cause any confusion.When i look at my body yes there is anxiety and pain (its not mine and i shouldnt have to deal with letting people see) but yes for ME i guess it is a form of dishonesty.Yes i know alot of these things are done as part of presenting and feeling whole,for me mentaly/emotionaly and spiritualy i am male,i was just unlucky with how i was born.I guess that major point is just now starting for me and how i am seen outside.As i said im fairly new in the transgender world and have always just dressed how i felt (tho i didnt bind or pack-that wasnt in my life for years until a few months ago when it came out to me) i guess in a sense its like,going home to a bad situation.you accept the fact its there and you live with it until it gets bad and you do something about it.so i guess i accept my body (to myself) the way it is but im sure that will change in time? i never used to have anxiety about my body with sex either that i noticed but that has changed and is starting.so it could be the mind of a new born child per say
Quote from: Chris 'The Chaotic on December 28, 2012, 05:46:54 PM
for ME i guess it is a form of dishonesty.
When do you believe the feelings of dishonesty will leave for you? Will being on synthetic hormones be dishonest? Will altering your body by going to a plastic surgeon be dishonest? That is the only difference between now and the future if you decide to pursue medical transition.
Just trying to understand what you believe is dishonest.
Quote from: Simon on December 28, 2012, 05:56:43 PM
When do you believe the feelings of dishonesty will leave for you? Will being on synthetic hormones be dishonest? Will altering your body by going to a plastic surgeon be dishonest? That is the only difference between now and the future if you decide to pursue medical transition.
Just trying to understand what you believe is dishonest.
Maybe its just society and the fear of many things that have taken place already,idk.I feel things like using a male restroom (my opinion only) can cause alot of issues for me and even make me feel uncomfortable only due to my body.even if i am trapped in the wrong body,it is still currently female born and i guess for me,i want to avoid any and all conflicts with the outside world until i can say with confidence *i am male inside,outside and by law*.i never wear a bra so im already partly flat chested.this thread was also seeking guidance from those who might feel like i do or those who dont and can give an opinion on if i should start doing these things.so in all i guess my over all fear is the outside world and how they will take the added things i have put in place.tho i have already had alot of loss due to just coming out,not even sure why i feel that way to be honest.
Quote from: Chris 'The Chaotic on December 28, 2012, 06:12:22 PM
I feel things like using a male restroom (my opinion only) can cause alot of issues for me and even make me feel uncomfortable only due to my body.
this thread was also seeking guidance from those who might feel like i do or those who dont and can give an opinion on if i should start doing these things.
Then don't use the Men's bathroom. That is all up to you and you should wait until you're confident and ready to do so.
You shouldn't be looking for others to tell you what you should or should not be doing. This is your transition, your feelings, and things that you need to decide for yourself.
Quote from: Simon on December 28, 2012, 06:42:49 PM
Then don't use the Men's bathroom. That is all up to you and you should wait until you're confident and ready to do so.
You shouldn't be looking for others to tell you what you should or should not be doing. This is your transition, your feelings, and things that you need to decide for yourself.
Thank you.regardless if you have dealt with this kinda of thing or not-your post made me feel confident and i thank you for that.i agree it is my transition but i didnt want to feel ya know.out of the loop on whats taboo-even if fear of the outcome does bother me,being accepted and making it to the end of the road is a big thing for me.but its silly to feel i should need the acceptance of those outside and around me.
You're welcome, and I remember what it was like 14 years ago when I first started out. It's confusing, exciting, and terrifying all at once. I don't like it when guys think there is a "->-bleeped-<- manual" that we all have to have cookie cutter transitions. This isn't about fitting in with the binary world or even with each other. It's all about you finding out who you are and making yourself happy. If any other transguy says you need to do something a certain way in your transition just tell them to piss off...this is your life, not theirs. BTW, I think you're going to be just fine. :)
Quote from: Natkat on December 28, 2012, 04:23:30 PM
I feel a bit the same by packing, it gives me more dyshoria than not to pack.
I think its general cause I dont have any correct packer so I dont want people to wonder, what ells wierd stuff I been using or something like that.
I actually used to be this way but once I found a packer and harness configuration that worked for me it took a huge weight off my shoulders as far as dysphoria goes.
Quote from: Squirrel698 on December 28, 2012, 02:27:03 PM
I'm sorry to hear that binding is uncomfortable for you guys. I find binding very comfortable and my chest isn't exactly small.
Have you tried http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?language=en (http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?language=en) ? Their binders are vastly superior to Underworks, in function and comfort.
Lesloveboat doesn't carry my size in any of the binders I want.
But, if you're good for not binding, go for it! I rarely bind, but this is mostly because I can't present as male anymore and partially because I have no hope of passing even with a binder until I'm on T and partially because it's uncomfortable for me to wear it for any decent amount of time.
As others have stated, there's no rules on how to be transgender or how to experience it. Do things your way and do it so you'll be comfortable. The larger world can go to hell; it doesn't have to live your life.
Quote from: Simon on December 28, 2012, 09:30:17 PM
You're welcome, and I remember what it was like 14 years ago when I first started out. It's confusing, exciting, and terrifying all at once. I don't like it when guys think there is a "->-bleeped-<- manual" that we all have to have cookie cutter transitions. This isn't about fitting in with the binary world or even with each other. It's all about you finding out who you are and making yourself happy. If any other transguy says you need to do something a certain way in your transition just tell them to piss off...this is your life, not theirs. BTW, I think you're going to be just fine. :)
thank you for the compliment.and to all the others,thank you as well.i will work on that fear i have and not try and follow a *mold* tho the support makes it easier.and i will do that,tell them to piss off haha.it feels good to be me,even if some see it as weird but we are all diffrent yes? :)
Quote from: Chris 'The Chaotic on December 28, 2012, 06:12:22 PM
i never wear a bra so im already partly flat chested.
If I had been that flat, I probably wouldn't have bothered with a binder either. There's nothing weird about that at all.
And like Simon, I don't feel the need to pack either. Just not my thing.
Quote from: Fat Admin on December 29, 2012, 06:35:59 AM
If I had been that flat, I probably wouldn't have bothered with a binder either. There's nothing weird about that at all.
And like Simon, I don't feel the need to pack either. Just not my thing.
Thanks and nice to meet someone who knows the feeling,even if its for diffrent reasons.Cheers to you all and i wish you luck in your journey!