So I'm only 5'1", hoping to grow more but I probably won't, and I was wondering how some of you deal with being short? I get really dysphoric over my height sometimes, especially since I've never met a cisguy so short- or any guy for that matter. I know they're out there, but there's so few.
I think my biggest problem is that I have short legs on top of being short, so do any of you have suggestions to help with this?
You may be surprised how much well-fitting clothes can make a difference. I know that it is very difficult when you have short legs but if you can get your hands on either youth size, short leg length, or hemmed up trousers/jeans then although you will still be short you will seem more in proportion overall, if that makes sense?
True, there aren't many really short cis-guys, but there are some. And if you present as the "whole package" I don't think it is a reason for someone to question you, in case you were worried about that.
Another option is shoe inserts or height increasing shoes - I regularly wear height increasing shoes to add a couple of extra inches and am used to the way they feel now. They also help with trouser legs collecting around your ankles because your legs aren't long enough (or is that just me...)
I feel you man, I'm 5'3" and this gets me down constantly. On a practical level, you can try wearing shoe lifts to give you an extra inch or two. Boots also tend to make you visibly taller than sneakers and other flat shoes. Also if you're wearing pants like jeans, try to find ones that you don't have to cuff at the bottom... letting the bottom of your pants naturally taper makes your legs look longer. These are just a few examples but there are many ways to dress better for a shorter height.
On a psychological level, it's something you just have to come to terms with. There are definitely guys around 5 feet, like you said they're fairly rare, but they're out there and they're not seen as any less male. As you move forward in your transition, you'll see that it's not nearly as important or obvious to other people as it is to us. I know people say this constantly, but so much of how people treat you is in how you carry yourself. I've noticed this in a huge way over the last year. People really do notice if you stand with good posture and speak/carry yourself confidently. For example, at work I wear insoles in my dress shoes - at the most they probably give me an inch of height, but for some reason I feel so much more confident in them. And I've noticed how people respond to me more positively because of it. I know it's completely psychological but I know I carry myself much differently because of that little boost.
In short (no pun intended lol) -- though we can't change the reality, there are many different ways to cope with it and it does get easier over time :)
I'm a whopping 4 feet 9 ninches, a regular Godzilla.
...If I were 6 years old, that is.
Wishful thinking aside, I've been told by 4 out of 5 doctors that I won't grow. The fifth said maybe an inch or so, and gave a nice laugh when I asked if I would be five feet tall. In fact, my old pediatrician told me and my mother, "Oh well, she'll never be a model" (Hence why she is no longer my pediatrician). My grandmother in all her wisdom said that boys like shorter girls because they feel protective of them. Obviously helping, grandma.
Someone else told me not to worry, that boys can grow until their mid-20s. If only! (That one ended up sparking a debate on what I was without me having told anyone anything, and someone guessed I was TG before I even knew what that was aside from some comments about Chaz Bono. I'll have to tell her she was right sometime.)
It's annoying, but I'm pre-everything so I get read as a little kid, passing sometimes and others not but usually androgynous.
How does one deal? Well, there's always the option of lifts and the possibility of future growth. But the real trick is to be big. Confidence is a key factor in being read as the gender you are presenting as, and the same goes for height. If you're able to exude confidence in yourself, that overrides the height factor in many situations. Be proud of who you are, and show off that the body does not make the man.
Power to the little guys!
I'm short too and I work with the public. There are a LOT of short men out there. Many shorter than me, and shorter than you. Just be yourself, have confidence. Nothing worse than insecure short guys with a complex!
Jay
I understand your pain. I stopped growing in the fourth grade and I'm 5'4. On top of that, I have short, chubby legs that I can't wrap my hands around. The other guys are right about confidence though. Having confidence will make you appear a lot taller. This includes not slouching while walking and keeping your back straight. Sometimes, pants can help you look taller as well.
I agree that wearing better fitting clothes will make you look taller. I read this article awhile back about looking taller and it seems to have a lot of good advice: http://artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/ (http://artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/)
There are short cis guys out there, so we're not alone (I am 5'2"). ;D
I don't mind being short, and I tend to like short women (maybe it makes me feel tall???) so I haven't had any dysphoria over it.
I was 5'4". I height I always felt was pretty perfect despite its comparatively short status to that of the average man. On top of that I also have short legs. The only effect that had on me was being annoyed at pants with zippers at the bottom (impossible to hem or roll up into cuffs). Granted I know that you're a couple inches shorter than I, but I see cisguys my size or smaller fairly regularly. My room mate (a cisman) is the same height as me.
Just to make you feel a little better, some benefits of being short:
1. fit more places comfortably. - sleeping on friends couches is a lot less painful when you actually fit on them.
2. superior skills and advantage at playing hide and seek
3. kids clothes are half the price (and oftentimes more durable)
I will say, however, that I have distinctly grown at least an inch (maybe 2) since starting T three years ago (just before I turned 22). Slightly off topic, but my feet grew a fair bit as well.
Thanks for all the replies guys! You've all been really helpful.
Shoe lifts sounds like something I should look into- are there any that you'd recommend? Also, how comfortable are they?
I'd definitely benefit from a confidence boost- sometimes I get too wrapped up in things I guess. I'll definitely keep in mind to be confident in myself and not try to focus so much on things I can't change like height.
Quote from: LearnedHand on January 01, 2013, 06:26:10 PM
I read this article awhile back about looking taller and it seems to have a lot of good advice: http://artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/ (http://artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/)
Awesome link, thanks! Definitely helpful.
Quote from: GnomeKid on January 01, 2013, 08:59:16 PM
Just to make you feel a little better, some benefits of being short:
1. fit more places comfortably. - sleeping on friends couches is a lot less painful when you actually fit on them.
2. superior skills and advantage at playing hide and seek
3. kids clothes are half the price (and oftentimes more durable)
Les Miserables - Little People (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQna-WyNp7c#)
I just bought some shoes over in the boys section that seems to make me taller without having to wear lifts. I got some Swiss Gear sneakers over at Target, I think they give me about 3/4" and they're incredibly comfortable. I also got some boy's dress shoes that have a small heel, about a half inch.
Heelys are awesome for this. The shoes have a wheel in the heel that boosts me up about 2-2 1/2 inches w/o lifts. They size small so if you get them make sure you get the right size.
As a short ex-'guy' (standing at 5'3"), I know it's not all that fun. There can be some teasing, and you may not be taken as seriously, and it makes for a large obstacle to passing if other attributes don't fall in line with the average.
Having facial hair, the right attitude/presence, a deep voice, and masculine clothing makes it mostly a non-issue for passing, though - and I'm only bringing the clothing up because every now and then, I see a trans guy walk around in purple skinny jeans. They might be worn in a guy style, and some cis guys may do it, but that sort of thing doesn't really help you out.
Dealing with it on a personal level is different. It's something that, first, should be accepted. It may be something that can be remedied with taller footwear, but it's still a part of what you are. When being teased, getting defensive or showing insecurity would be awkward - it's better to laugh it off, and show that it's not a big deal to you.
Confidence will take care of others. Acceptance will take care of you.
Have you looked into lifts for your shoes?
I've never gotten around to buying them myself, but when I'm feeling really short, I stuff my shoes with paper to get another inch or so.
Not to mention, another way to add the illusion of height is to weight the same color all the way up and down your body with no breaks in colors.
Like a black top, and black pants, with a black belt (If you added, say....a white belt, you'd look shorter)
Also, making sure that you stay out of baggy clothes will help, or you'll look even smaller.
And of course, practicing good posture shall help if you're a sloucher like me.
I saw an old movie with Michael J Fox, stupid movie, but he's shorter than all the women-- doesn't hurt him any. I have to remind myself being 5'1".
Jay
Idk how I deal with it, I guess I don't. But when I see a man near my height I get super happy and think to myself hey there's another guy like me. That's the only thing that makes me feel good about myself being this short. I'm four eleven. And no one knows our pains like people under 5'2". Everything is different for us, including lifting and carrying, reaching, etc. My height is the one thing I get suicidal about because I'm not happy with it, and I never have been.
It's the one thing I'm most dysphoric about. Because there's nothing you can do about your size. Because of my height all my body is proportioned. Tiny hands, small feet, short arms, short legs, small head. You can't change that. Yeah you can try to hide it, but there's nothing you can really do about it.
I feel like its difficult to date women because they want men taller then them. So options are limited to short women. All you average to tall guys with average hands and feet are very very lucky.
What sucks is my body fat is high so its hard for me to find good fitting clothes with a big belly and a short torso and short legs. All my pants bunch.
Quote from: Liminal Stranger on January 01, 2013, 02:12:01 PM
It's annoying, but I'm pre-everything so I get read as a little kid, passing sometimes and others not but usually androgynous.
When I was pre-t I got read as a kid 100% or a very young masculine homosexual female.
At least now I pass as an older kid, and pretty much male.
Malachite, I also stopped growing in fourth grade. So I doubt I will grow and taller. It's a pain, especially being the shortest in my whole family. Everyone else is average or tall.
One natural thing I've heard, to add about an inch I believe, is yoga. I've done some research and read you could basically stretch out to be a bit taller. I have not tried this myself.
a cis guy in my school is about 4'10 this motivated him to work out a bunch now he is super jacked and on the varsity wrestling team.
Quote from: anibioman on January 03, 2013, 12:11:17 AM
a cis guy in my school is about 4'10 this motivated him to work out a bunch now he is super jacked and on the varsity wrestling team.
There are a lot of sports where it's beneficial to be shorter. I believe wrestling is one of those.
Quote from: dalebert on January 03, 2013, 12:12:27 AM
There are a lot of sports where it's beneficial to be shorter. I believe wrestling is one of those.
Not such a good wrastler though. :)
--Jay
I have the same dysphoria. I stand right at 5"5 and hate it even my girl is 5"7. There is a site that sales mens shoes that give you up to 5 inches the brand is tall men shoes. I plan to order some dress shoes of that brand. There's insoles giving inches and add that to some Nike's you have fashionable lift off. I have heard some stretches that can straighten and stretches the spinal cord increasing height. Google it up I am.
think of it this way us short guys are at just the right hight that when we walk into a girl we can pull off the "oops i'm sorry my face accidently went into your boobs" :P
Quote from: Justin 21 on January 03, 2013, 03:09:37 AM
think of it this way us short guys are at just the right hight that when we walk into a girl we can pull off the "oops i'm sorry my face accidently went into your boobs" :P
I cannot tell you how many awkward hugs that has resulted in. I'm serious.
Quote from: Liminal Stranger on January 03, 2013, 03:19:16 AM
I cannot tell you how many awkward hugs that has resulted in. I'm serious.
Akward? Yeah right man wonderful. Lol I'm with 21 and if she is not much taller hold your head down play sad and let the hug come to you.
hahaha yes dark knight work the kicked puppy angle :P
Lol you know it 21
Quote from: Justin 21 on January 03, 2013, 03:09:37 AM
think of it this way us short guys are at just the right hight that when we walk into a girl we can pull off the "oops i'm sorry my face accidently went into your boobs" :P
hahaha XD
Quote from: Dark.Knight on January 03, 2013, 02:17:32 AM
IThere is a site that sales mens shoes that give you up to 5 inches the brand is tall men shoes. I plan to order some dress shoes of that brand. There's insoles giving inches and add that to some Nike's you have fashionable lift off. I have heard some stretches that can straighten and stretches the spinal cord increasing height. Google it up I am.
I'll definitely look that up, seems worth it! 5 inches would be so exciting.
Quote from: Dark.Knight on January 03, 2013, 03:40:42 AM
Akward? Yeah right man wonderful. Lol I'm with 21 and if she is not much taller hold your head down play sad and let the hug come to you.
Well, some guys might like it but I prefer to not be smothered in the face with someones' chest :P
5 inches? I could use that kind of a gain- it'd be nice to finally be over 5 feet!
Man, a five inch lift is a lot.
I can just picture it like the reverse of the fabled push up bra scenario. You go home with a strange girl, take off your shoes, "ah... wait, weren't you taller than me at the club??"
I really freaked out about my height when I first decided to transition, and I am 5'5" on a good day, though probably more like 5'4"
It's all about confidence. Own who you are, and enjoy it.
Lift shoes would just make me insecure because I would be thinking about my height constantly wearing them, but I can see how they can benefit some people. It doesn't hurt to try it so you can make your own decision, you can get insole lifts for pretty cheap.
Boots help.
Just got these in the mail and remembered this thread:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0042LKX1E/ref=oh_details_o01_s00_i01 (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0042LKX1E/ref=oh_details_o01_s00_i01)
They're 1/2 inch insoles and not only very cheap ($6 for 2 pairs) but pretty comfortable too - wore them for most of today and could barely feel them in my shoes. I'd say you get closer to an inch than a half inch in height - either way the difference is definitely noticeable ;D
Quote from: lexical on January 06, 2013, 02:37:31 AM
Just got these in the mail and remembered this thread:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0042LKX1E/ref=oh_details_o01_s00_i01 (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0042LKX1E/ref=oh_details_o01_s00_i01)
They're 1/2 inch insoles and not only very cheap ($6 for 2 pairs) but pretty comfortable too - wore them for most of today and could barely feel them in my shoes. I'd say you get closer to an inch than a half inch in height - either way the difference is definitely noticeable ;D
I think I'll definitely try those! Got an amazon gift card for Christmas, and $6 isn't much of a loss if they end up not working out. Thanks for telling us about them!
Quote from: Liminal Stranger on January 01, 2013, 02:12:01 PM
How does one deal? Well, there's always the option of lifts and the possibility of future growth. But the real trick is to be big. Confidence is a key factor in being read as the gender you are presenting as, and the same goes for height. If you're able to exude confidence in yourself, that overrides the height factor in many situations. Be proud of who you are, and show off that the body does not make the man.
Power to the little guys!
I once worked for (or under) a very short guy. He was also some kind of football star in college, and no one would ever mistake him for either a child or a woman. It's all about attitude, though T can also work wonders. I try to remind my trans son about this whenever the issue of his height comes up (he's a little taller than my ex, but only an inch or so, and she is 5'1").
I do sometimes admit my own jealousy, and the irony of how practically all would be right for both of us if it were only possible to swap bodies, at least it would be if mine could be de-aged so that he didn't miss out on having a 6" body of an 18-year-old (granted, it was one with very little upper body strength, but I suspect his determination and dedicated weight training or other exercise might readily take care of that perceived defect).
I'm 5'2" and while my height used to bother me somewhat when I was a teenager, it really doesn't anymore. I've pretty much just embraced being short in that it makes me a little more unique. While I do get people thinking I'm younger than I am, that's probably more to do with my face and will probably get better when I'm on T for a while. I'd say the only real downside for me is that it's tough to find clothes that are in my size (especially suits and blazers), but I do okay. There are a lot of short guys out there. Heck, my great-grandfather was my height, so it's really nothing to worry about.
Being perceived as younger is a common side-effect of being shorter just as being perceived as older is a common side-effect of being taller. Either one can be good or bad depending on the circumstance (like if you're trying to buy alcohol and you're not quite 21, haha). And most people don't mind being perceived as younger than they are. Obviously, lots of people are attracted to youth or at least to a youthful appearance. It is tied to healthy fertility, after all, even in men based on some recent studies.
I agree with advice about being confident. Embrace whomever you are and capitalize on your particular strengths. I would just advise to be careful you don't become the "short mad guy".
I saw a short, muscular guy stomping through the mall once and my friend (who happens to be really tall) said he was a short mad guy, "mad because he's short!" He said it was like those skinny little lizards who fan out those big fins to make them look bigger and scare away predators. I laughed. He also said some really tall people tend to be "embarrassed because they're tall" and they slouch and have bad posture because of it and so forth. Both are bad ways of dealing with being a little bit outside of what is considered average.
Quote from: dalebert on January 06, 2013, 11:15:22 AM
I would just advise to be careful you don't become the "short mad guy".
I saw a short, muscular guy stomping through the mall once and my friend (who happens to be really tall) said he was a short mad guy, "mad because he's short!" He said it was like those skinny little lizards who fan out those big fins to make them look bigger and scare away predators. I laughed. He also said some really tall people tend to be "embarrassed because they're tall" and they slouch and have bad posture because of it and so forth. Both are bad ways of dealing with being a little bit outside of what is considered average.
This is so true -- I work with one of those short mad guys. It makes him stand out so much more (and in an obviously negative way) than just his height would.
We have 3 really short (5 ft 2 and under) guys in our support group. All 3 are great guys and all three are post transition and pass 100% of the time. Not counting myself here as I am pre-everything.
I will attest to it making hugging awkward. I have a girl friend who is 6 ft. But you know what they say "When there is a will there is a way". We figure it out.
--Jay
I know a really short trans guy who started transition quite some time ago--must be about twelve years or more--and everyone thinks he is hot (men and women alike). He is one of those "you would never know" guys.
I'm not all that short, but a funny thing happened a few months ago. I've been telling people for years that I'm 5' 6"--I was actually more like 5' 6 3/8".
Now I am apparently 5' 7 1/4". Almost an inch taller.
I don't know what happened. Have I been wrong all of these years? When was the last time I was measured--was it when I was still living with my parents, decades ago? Did I continue to grow after that, when I was in my twenties? Or did the T actually make me grow a little in my forties?
If it's the T, I have a theory about it...I know that my hands and feet grew a bit, probably because of a little extra muscle and tissue that spread out the distance between the bones. Maybe the same thing happened height-wise. I don't even know if it is possible. Has anyone else picked up any height after starting T?
I think the main thing to keep in mind is that a lot of cis males are short too!
But, I know it does suck.
I'm 5'4'' and my girlfriend is around 5'7''
which some people find quite funny!
I'm 5'6 on a good day which I don't find extremely terrible because my dad is the same height (I blame it on the fact that we are part Japanese) even though my brother shot up to 6 feet and my sister stopped at 5 feet... kind of funny how that worked out. Anyways, my fiancee is actually 6 feet tall and she absolutely hates being so tall so between the two of us it kind of works because I do and say things to make her feel and seem smaller and more delicate and she makes sure to make me feel taller and like I'm her protecter. In addition, I work with two cis guys who are shorter than I am. They are actually going to be sharing an office together and made a joke that even together they still won't get to 6 feet (they are probably about 5'3). They both have very big personalities and a great sense of humor and even though they are short, they know how to be seen. I agree that confidence is key and if you need lifts to make yourself feel better then I definitely suggest it.
I'm 5'. It sucks the most on a crowded train when my face is surrounded by backpacks worn by people who are 6'0" to 6'6".
Anyway, I deal with my own dysphora by doing things that people wouldn't expect of me. They are things I like of course, like, fly an airplane or played adult co-ed hockey. If you don't allow it to get to you as much, you'll be able to show off other things about yourself and everyone around you will even agree that your height does not match your personality.
The girl I was dating is "5'5" and a half" as she'd tell people. I had my moments where I felt really short and uncomfortable, but she always said she never really thought of me as shorter.
I actually put height down as a reason why I shouldn't transition. That ended up being the only thing on the list so I decided to suck it up. It's tough. On the bright side, I fit youth things, so I pay less! From shoes to clothes to snowboards! (Just don't give me anything with skulls on it.)