Greetings all! If you're reading this I've actually posted this time rather than chickening out ;D I guess I shall be going by the moniker Hazel for the time being :P
So a little background, 25 year old guy here that's (you guessed it) not completely happy with what nature dished out to him.
I can't honestly say I identify 100% as female on the inside, I think by this point I have at least some of each in me, but since I was a child I always had feelings of what if and why me? Mostly I would just fantasize about what I wasn't, and imagine waking up as a girl one day. I would always weigh up the pro's and cons of switching gender, and decided that the negative's (social stigma, coming out, not passing convincingly) combined with being somewhat of an introvert meant that there was only one real possibility on the table, they would remain fantasies and that alone. However when I asked myself if none of that mattered, if I could just wave a wand and change my gender overnight with no ramifications, then would I do it, yes! and in a heartbeat.
Well that was then and I also never thought that in a million years would I open up about my sexuality, and yet now most people who know me also know I dig guys, thank god for alcohol eh ;D
Still this is bigger, and still really unthinkable as something that I could actually do. But sitting here thinking about it again curiosity's got the best of me, so I thought I would open up a dialogue about it with someone else for the first time, this seems like a good place to do that :)
Also although I've had nothing whatsoever done I was also looking for some feedback on if I had any, I guess potential to pass at least, could I post here or is there a better subsection for it? Oh and If you've bothered to read this far then thanks ^_^
Hi Hazel, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 9538 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
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Hi Hazel,
Welcome to the site.
There is a lot of info here to go through and do feel free to post specific questions etc.
Yes there are threads to post what you look like but in my opinion they can be misleading. Once you start HRT and get laser and start looking after yourself in a more feminine way then your appearance changes anyway. It is sometimes difficult to know how massive the change can be.
But I assure you it can be massive.
So the first steps are usually to get a therapist to talk too. Depending which country you are in, I'm in Australia, there are different ways of going about it.
Post where you are and someone can help.
The therapist goes through the issues and then you move onto hormones and then whatever. It is a journey and has its; ups and downs but I know of very few girls who are unhappy with the results.
I'm FT female in a professional job and have been very well accepted and have had no problems, beyond wardrobe space.
Hee Hee :laugh: :laugh:
Hugs and post away
Cindy
Hi Hazel, welcome.
I am willing to bet nearly every member here started out with similar questions and thoughts.
The only way I know of to work out these issues is through educating yourself, talking with a therapist who can help you sort through them, and get to know others who have traveled this path before you.
Hi OBrien, Cindy and Jamie :)
I think I knew what the next step (talking to a therapist) was going to be, its just the thought of admitting this to someone in real life honestly fills me with dread right now, not as much as it would have at one point tho, so there's that.
I'm from the UK, from what little I've gathered there are some options with the NHS but long waiting times?
Yeh I've seen some amazing transition stories that give me hope :D I appreciate that you can't really gauge just how things will work out from a pre snapshot,and I guess I should be able to make an educated guess myself. But I'm so used to seeing my own face everyday and thus second guessing myself that I really don't know anymore, so even a rough idea of what I could hope for (or more negativity can expect to deal with) would be good at this point :)
Ah just found a thread for exactly that question so I'll go and post a pic over there!
Excuse my ignorance does FT female mean Full Transition mtf?
Thanks for the reply's all ;D
Hello Hazel ,
Another big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Thank you for sharing an important part of your life with us. For a 25 year old, you've come a long way,in a short time.
It's quite reasonable to think that this is all too big, and not at all possible for you. Baby steps are the way through this labyrinth. Even though this has been a life long dream of mine. As little as 5 years ago; I just couldn't get my head round an operation of this magnitude. They are going to do WHAT?? Even passing wasn't on my radar. Yet some wise sage told me; "Passing begins on the inside and works it way out,until you personally take possession of it. Then it's a done deal, irrespective of what the outside looks like. People are more incline to sense the femininity oozing out of you than perhaps a 5 0'clock shadow.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
Thanks for the welcome Catherine,
Baby steps is definitely the speed at which I'm taking this right now, well I've at least moved from this will never happen to now maybe it could...
I think after puberty I tried to suppress the idea harder because I felt like I'd missed my window of opportunity to really pass, but like you say your own sense of femininity and attitude can carry you far once you take control of it. And exploring this place some of the transitions I've come across are simply amazing!
Look forward to learning more from this place, hugs back :)
Hazel
Hi Hazel, it's nice to meet you! I live near Boston. FT female means full-time, living 24/7 as a woman. We use lots of initials, you'll figure it all out. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn
Hi Devlyn nice to meet you too ^^ I'm from the UK myself
Ah I see, thanks for the correction, I do find myself slightly perplexed by some of the terms here :)
Hugs
Hazel
Try the alphabet soup, it's delicious! Hugs, Devlyn