You know life is what you make it....I have been with my girl for going on 8 years and just last year I told her I was not happy with who I am...I have and always wanted to be a man...So many questions and no answers...I wish I could just find the answers and move on and it be done so quick, there is no easy way to say how I feel and where I am in my life...My girl and I have known each other since freshman in High school (she married my brother) :(.... I never truly looked at her as someone I could be with because I never went after straight girls.... My brother and her fell into hard times and she left and took his kids...I kept in touch with her and MY kids there were mine (weren't they?) I would send gifts for every holiday and go out to California and visit every year....I was with someone else at the time so she would go out with me. My girl and I at the time started having problems because I started wanting to use other things in bed and she would not have anything to do with it, she started doing hard drugs. I had stopped drinking and smoking pot I just wanted to be me and be happy not just feel comfortable where I was and that's what was happening. Two years later I was still sober and comfortable and my girl at the time was still heavily on drugs...I left and went and so my kids with out her and amazingly this girl I have known since freshmen in high school and who had married my brother and had kids with my brother made a move.....it was the most amazing day of my life....I had never felt this ever never in my life did I feel the feeling I felt, I wish I could put it in words of how I felt....AMAZING EUPHORIC.....but I was still with my other partner what do I do , I am not a cheater I don't do this....so for three days we talked and talked and kissed and everything... I knew I wanted her but how and why and so many questions in my mind....I left her and came back to Colorado wanting to fix what I had here being with someone for six years and then just walking away like nothing is hard for me...Obviously not hard for my partner (she had been doing drugs and slept with my brother and my best friends girl friend while I was away...I knew the second I saw her I did not want this anymore I packed my stuff and left....Where do I go????? Being a lesbian you pack you ->-bleeped-<- and move UHAUL...LOL.... was it worth it will it work out??? I procrastinated for days and then finally i said ->-bleeped-<- it do it so I did...I jumped and flew out and we have been together since....We have had hard times and good times, she has always been the person I have always wanted loving, gentle, understanding, sexy Hot, just everything I ever wanted....I finally after six years and going thru an almost break up we are still strong and she says she understands what I want...I question her sometimes and hope that I don't screw up the one good thing that has ever happened to me....Its time for me to do what I need to do to be happy and she says she will stand by me and be there for me....so now I am here pleading and wanting to know what I need to do to get the answers I feel I have searched my whole life.....I didn't have the best childhood and I am sure we all haven't but I am going on 37 years old and I need this to complete my life. I need help, answers, people to share my life with who understand what and how I feel.....So I ask anyone and everyone please help me get the answers I feel I deserve and help me thru this time...I have everything I ever needed in life I don't need anything else but this!!!!!!!!!! ;)
Cool beans dude, happy postings!
the only thing you need to do is follow your heart no matter what
do what ever it says and happiness shall always follow