Kia Ora, [Because this topic involves the 'closet' I've put it in the 'closet' section-Excuse the pun :D]
::) Denial, is for the most part a trans-person's middle name...
Like many M2Fs here, I lived a life of self-denial. At first my closet door was rarely opened, I didn't like what was inside and naively thought I could bolt the door shut for good by marrying the woman I fell in love with...
My story no doubt is a familiar one- However marrying 'once' was enough for me to realise it wasn't going to work...Falling in love it would seem, was not enough to bury my true-self, even having children whom I love dearly, couldn't secure the bolt on the closet door...
I had been prescribed tranquilisers in my early twenties to help me cope with 'anxiety' [deep denial and the wish/desire to 'conform' brought on this anxiety]...
To cut a long story short, for many of us who suffer or have suffered from GD-GID, sadly "Love does 'NOT' always conquer all !"
Nowadays in most western societies, our 'condition' is becoming more and more understood/accepted/tolerated, which for some younger members this greatly shortens the length of time they have/have had to spent in the somewhat claustrophobic closet of denial.
Two questions :
For those who are or have been ...Why did you get married ?
And if you are not married, have you thought about it as a means of escaping your true-self ?
Metta Zenda :)
I was married three times and in all three I loved my wife. I imagine I was trying to cover up my GD issue. May last wife said it best: "You are just trying to use me as your 'beard'". And she is probably right.
when and if I ever get married again, it will be as the real me.
I got married at 19 after knowing her for 2 1/2 months because I wanted to. It seemed like a good idea. I have never felt the deep love for anyone that many people describe. The only person I truly love is my son. For some reason I just don't think that love is a feeling I am able to have. I cared deeply for my wife the first couple of years of our marriage but, that faded. By the end, I stayed just because I thought I had to. Now that I know I don't have to stay, and since our marriage is over I am ready to start exploring relationships. Hopefully I will find someone that I deeply care for and actually want to spend the rest of my life with.
I married both times because it was one of those things people expected you to do. I really did love my first wife though and she tolerated quite a bit about my dressing and such. That marriage lasted almost 7 years and we went through a few separations before we finally divorced.
I'm not really sure I loved my second one all that much, she was more of a convenience thing, to try to appear more normal to people and I'm sure I was the same for her. Thankfully, that one folded within 5 months.
Since then, I haven't dated or anything and that was almost 20 years ago.