I don't know what happened to me yesterday and this morning. But last evening I came out to the HR of the place where I work via mail. Since then I been seriously depressed although it was just a passing phase and although I am still shaken up and nauseated since then, also I haven't been spoken to yet, regarding it.
Right now I am just praying everything goes well.
I know the feeling. Anticipation can be stomach turning, that's the hardest part of coming out to anyone.
Usually things go better than we think, at least I know it's true for me that things are usually far worse in my mind than in reality, just normal paranoia.
I hope it all goes well for you!
Thanks aleah, I hope it does too...
Talk about stomach turning - I don't think I have been this nauseated in my life!
So what is the problem? What are you worried about? Lets talk it through!!
Cindy
Wow. That does sound stomach churning, sitting there waiting for an answer. Ohh I hate that.
Good luck hon and keep us posted.
Quote from: Alexia6 on January 05, 2013, 03:08:43 AM
I don't know what happened to me yesterday and this morning. But last evening I came out to the HR of the place where I work via mail. Since then I been seriously depressed although it was just a passing phase and although I am still shaken up and nauseated since then, also I haven't been spoken to yet, regarding it.
I do not think you are depressed. I think you are worried because you made a big step on blind faith and you are hoping for the best. I find that I can cope with good news or bad news. What I cannot cope with is the unknown. Not knowing is the worst thing and that is where you are right now.
I hope it turns out well for you, but if it does not then you will still have something concrete you can deal with. Bad news is better than no news, but good news is the best of all.
Good luck and let us all know how it turns out.
Good luck, and may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house (or cubicle, or wherever apropos)!
Try your best to stay positive and do your work the best you can. Do that, and you've got some pretty good allies in your corner.
Thanks everyone! I really hope it goes well.
True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism finally got delivered later this afternoon and was reading a bit of it about transitioning at work.
Maybe I should have gone with a more detailed letter - if only my dysphoria had not acted up.
Quote from: bev2 on January 05, 2013, 06:59:59 AM
I do not think you are depressed. I think you are worried because you made a big step on blind faith and you are hoping for the best. I find that I can cope with good news or bad news. What I cannot cope with is the unknown. Not knowing is the worst thing and that is where you are right now.
This.
I was both relieved and stressed after I came out (via email) to my bosses and HR. All in all, it worked out for the best.
Still can't help feeling a bit impulsive and stupid for doing it
Quote from: Constance on January 05, 2013, 12:10:55 PM
This.
I was both relieved and stressed after I came out (via email) to my bosses and HR. All in all, it worked out for the best.
How long did it take for the HR to get back to you?
I am crossing my fingers but I won't know for sure till Monday
I can't remember how long it took before there was a reply to my email. I'd have to go to the office to check if I still have those messages saved (I think I do). It was pretty fast though.
It was about a week and then I had a meeting with the director of HR to discuss the logistical details.
Quote from: Alexia6 on January 05, 2013, 03:08:43 AM...last evening I came out to the HR.
At least it was an intentional act on your part. For me, it was accidental. Boy howdy, I had a long weekend of worry, but my boss ended up being quite supportive.
Well - I spoke to the HR today or rather the head of the HR for our department wanted to meet me, and I was nervous as hell!
Thanks Cindy! and everyone - even my BFF and her sister helped me not to panic!
I talked about a lot of things and while I didn't get a lot of answers because not many TG persons want to go public or even full time - so doesn't happen that often where I live or at the very least is kept hush-hush.
Basically got told not to do anything to rock the boat until after either SRS or until they get more information on how to proceed.
I made it clear I will not be doing anything until they are ok with it or at least notifying them. Also hinted that I may be on HRT already.
But am glad they are being supportive and he so far has left me hopefull.
Quote from: Alexia6 on January 07, 2013, 11:57:52 AM
Well - I spoke to the HR today or rather the head of the HR for our department wanted to meet me, and I was nervous as hell!
Thanks Cindy! and everyone - even my BFF and her sister helped me not to panic!
I talked about a lot of things and while I didn't get a lot of answers because not many TG persons want to go public or even full time - so doesn't happen that often where I live or at the very least is kept hush-hush.
Basically got told not to do anything to rock the boat until after either SRS or until they get more information on how to proceed.
I made it clear I will not be doing anything until they are ok with it or at least notifying them. Also hinted that I may be on HRT already.
But am glad they are being supportive and he so far has left me hopefull.
Alexia, I'd be concerned by this.
First, any places are covered by laws that prohibit discrimination against gender expression. The U.S. EEOC ruled that it is sex discrimination.
So there is a question whether HR has any right to tell you not to do anything. They can ask you nicely but it's not clear they can require it.
What makes even more uncomfortable is the mention of SRS. It shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with the way you express at work (unless you walk around nude, and I'm assuming you're not in THAT line of work).
Do you have an LGBT support organization near you? One that might put you in touch with someone who can give you legal advice? I really suggest you talk to someone who understands your rights. HR is NOT there to protect your rights, they are there to protect your employer.
Thanks agfrommd, for reminding me that - I don't think I would let my guard down anytime soon.
Sadly am not in the U.S. or any country that recognizes gender expression. And I would go so far as to say that in some areas the country where I live may as well be in the Stone Age. Especially in terms of gender expression and LGBT rights.
Even gay sex only got moved from being illegal to legal 3-4 years ago.
So am a bit scared as hell - since I don't really know what to expect.
But I would be completing 5 years at my first job in June and am considering switching careers although I like the place where I work, so am hoping to maybe at least get a name change done before I leave.
Well I shouldn't have assumed. You're right to be careful. Best I can do is wish you luck and admire your bravery. The pioneers who blaze the trail take more than their share of the risks.
Thanks agfrommd - But am glad you reminded me that I could be getting myself into deep s**t.
I guess I was sooo blinded by things, that I may not have realized it otherwise.