Someone posted this on FB and this kind of info can't be shared enough:
"THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES" (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Click Share Button to share it on your Wall.
It seems that a lot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation. Everyone should read this especially each and every girl in this world.
THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG...
Through a rapist's eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked
audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, and go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL....
I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in
this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans: if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit
(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS, LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side, peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB).
b. If you! U are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard /policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers,
wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than sorry.
If u have a heart or compassion share this photo.
WE CAN SHARE JOKES AND SPAM MAILS TO OUR FRIENDS & NETWORKS
PLEASE FOR ONCE SHARE THIS AND
LETS TRY TO HELP THEM.
'Helping hands are better than Praying Lips' – give us your helping hand.
SHARE IT WITH ALL UR FRIENDS.
AT LEAST PEOPLES WILL KNOW WATS GOING IN WORLD.
Friends So Please Share....Your one share can Help to spread this information. We share So many Stupid Things on Facebook and ignore these types of things which can save so many lives's...
Take care.
Good advice read it I'd like to add NEVER be taken away to another area no matter the threat.If you are in a car or van leave a hair and saliva on the carpet if you can't kick out a tail light pull the wires out,cops will go for a car with no stop/tail lights or indicators
Good list of precautions, many of which I've adhered to for several years :) It is also good to note that many males are attacked by rapists as well, although it is not as prevalent and not often talked about... Maybe it more often than not just goes unreported
Be safe out there friends :) Hugs
Assaulted Tale (aka This Bird Won't Fly)
Claim: Heeding the advice given in a popular e-mail missive will keep you from
becoming a rape victim.
FALSE
Please read this! Be Safe!
http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/rape.asp (http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/rape.asp)
Origins: This bit of codswallop began its Internet life in January 2000 as an
enthusiastic e-mail penned by an employee at the St. Louis office of the public
relations firm Weber Shandwick. The writer was among a group enrolled in a
self-defense class taught by David Portnoy, an instructor who claims to have trained
with actors Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Portnoy refuses to give information about what he teaches in his classes or details of
where he gained the information he passes along, preferring instead to sell it. (He
demanded a $1,000 interview fee from a Denver Post reporter). If, however, this Weber
Shandwick employee's e-mail describing what he teaches is accurate, Portnoy should be
characterized as a fear merchant vending false information to those anxious to feel
safe.
If rapists choose their victims based on hairstyle and length of tresses, it's news to
those in law enforcement; they've never noticed this trend. Rape victims have short
hair, long hair, and no hair. They're also young and old, short and tall, fat and skinny,
femininely dressed or looking like they just fell off the tractor, and all points in
between.
Sorry for posting this... I guess none of this is good advice. :(((
I give up
Quote from: Zythyra on January 06, 2013, 06:44:34 AM
Assaulted Tale (aka This Bird Won't Fly)
Claim: Heeding the advice given in a popular e-mail missive will keep you from
becoming a rape victim.
FALSE
Please read this! Be Safe!
http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/rape.asp (http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/rape.asp)
Origins: This bit of codswallop began its Internet life in January 2000 as an
enthusiastic e-mail penned by an employee at the St. Louis office of the public
relations firm Weber Shandwick. The writer was among a group enrolled in a
self-defense class taught by David Portnoy, an instructor who claims to have trained
with actors Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Portnoy refuses to give information about what he teaches in his classes or details of
where he gained the information he passes along, preferring instead to sell it. (He
demanded a $1,000 interview fee from a Denver Post reporter). If, however, this Weber
Shandwick employee's e-mail describing what he teaches is accurate, Portnoy should be
characterized as a fear merchant vending false information to those anxious to feel
safe.
If rapists choose their victims based on hairstyle and length of tresses, it's news to
those in law enforcement; they've never noticed this trend. Rape victims have short
hair, long hair, and no hair. They're also young and old, short and tall, fat and skinny,
femininely dressed or looking like they just fell off the tractor, and all points in
between.
Very good precautions. The other is if you don't take those precautions.
Even with the descriptions being false, the rest of the advice seems like a bunch of good safety precautions to me.
Quote from: Stephe on January 06, 2013, 07:45:48 AM
Sorry for posting this... I guess none of this is good advice. :(((
I give up
I'd seen this posted on FB, and then also saw the Snopes article in response. There were some good points in both articles.
Bottom line, for any of us who identify as women and also for any of us as people possibly perceived to be trans or gender variant, we are high risk for sexual violence, and should take necessary precautions to be safe.
Z
I thought this was mostly good advice about how to help avoid being raped/assaulted and what you might be able to do if you are attacked. And did it say anywhere you would never be raped if you followed this? It doesn't say anything like "Claim: Heeding the advice given in a popular e-mail missive will keep you from becoming a rape victim." It sure isn't asking for any money. Even if some of it asn't "true" there is some good advice.
Instead of thanks, I get some nasty "know it all" cut and paste generic snopes quote for bothering to try to help people with some tips on how to be safer. You know what, screw this site if this is the thanks I get for trying to help educate people on how to be safer out in the world.
It's just a give and take discussion, Stephe. Two sides to every story, and all that. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Stephe on January 06, 2013, 03:56:43 PM
Instead of thanks, I get some nasty "know it all" cut and paste generic snopes quote for bothering to try to help people with some tips on how to be safer. You know what, screw this site if this is the thanks I get for trying to help educate people on how to be safer out in the world.
Stephe,
I didn't post this to be nasty. As I said,
both articles contain some useful advice. I care about the same thing you do, which is that everyone here is safe!
Z
Quote from: Stephe on January 06, 2013, 03:56:43 PM
I thought this was mostly good advice about how to help avoid being raped/assaulted and what you might be able to do if you are attacked. And did it say anywhere you would never be raped if you followed this? It doesn't say anything like "Claim: Heeding the advice given in a popular e-mail missive will keep you from becoming a rape victim." It sure isn't asking for any money. Even if some of it asn't "true" there is some good advice.
Instead of thanks, I get some nasty "know it all" cut and paste generic snopes quote for bothering to try to help people with some tips on how to be safer. You know what, screw this site if this is the thanks I get for trying to help educate people on how to be safer out in the world.
Hi Stephe, Z wouldn't know how to be nasty if she tried. As news admin, she's used to posting additional info.
I don't know if the ponytail and other stuff is true. But we all know it is true most attackers don't want a scene. I found your post useful enough to forward to my mother.
Oh, I wonder if it's true about the cell phone. I thought they might be less likely to attack because she's got someone on the other line and can easily call 911. What do you think?
Eyes. No matter how big someone is (male or female) the number thing you can do is gouge their eyes. One good jab as hard as you can will stun anyone. If they have on glasses a good jab to the throat (right under the chin) works well too. Yes, it is vicious but it works.
Thanks for the advice!
none of this advise is bad, as they said the description part is not perfect (my hair WAS short)
99 time out of 100 if you fight back it works - I fought back - he liked to kill me for it - so I bought a stun gun ;D
When I get my concealed carry, I have a really cute Sig Sauer rainbow titanium for my purse.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs12.postimg.org%2Ferng9rcm1%2Fsig_p238_rainbow_01.jpg&hash=c639435209faa8ddd79ff450ab5044c381fd2287) (http://postimg.org/image/erng9rcm1/)
Thanks for this post, going to send it to some friends just because I know some people who have sisters. If it wasn't creepy, and I had their emails, I would probably send this to my cousins as well, just to be safe.
And even though I doubt someone would approach me in an attempt to rape me, I am still afraid of bathrooms and parking lots, especially bathrooms though, since some of the men bathrooms don't have anything separating the toilet things(I get freaked out easily, even though I can seem tough if I want, I would probably be considered a wimp by most people).
Anyways, thanks again for posting this, even if some stuff isn't very effective.
Wow!!! I'd forgotten about this topic :) Just over this summer I've had guys offer me a ride and seem disappointed when I said I had my bicycle
One said he'd put my bike in the back of his truck but I told him I still had a few errands to run and would rather ride my bike
They all seemed like nice guys and probably are and only one of the guys really kinda gave me the creepers feeling but you never really know I guess
NEVER get in a vehicle with a stranger.They immediately have the advantage in taking you to a new crime scene.
@Stephe: Just want to say thanks for posting this. I sent it to my sister so she could be safer. I hope you're still around (Given what you last said in this thread) and again thanks for the advice.
A good rule of thumb for any information shares on Facebook like this, always check Snopes.com for validity. Also, wouldn't a rapist see even MORE incentive to attack someone if you start looking them in the eye and making small talk?
Well this topics been, Bumped up, so May aswell put in a penny.
The only thing wrong with the initial post, was, the "profiling of a perticuler target type" their just isnt,
A perticuler profile, is tied to a spacfic attacker, and everybody has their type.
so it stands to reason, that their are as many potetial target types, are their are potential attackers.
Aside from that the advise is sound. save it be the impression of, get short hair, because that just might make you fall into the target type of short hair, for example.
But one of the thigs I will take away from this is, OMG i use m phone spacifically as a comping mechanisme for my transness, aka ovoiding eys contect, but i realised that i do this because i allready see a pptential threat and althogh, i do have my phone in my hand, said threat still has all of my attention.
So at these tines i will be ready lol, proble when im most ready.
This post is two years old however. So Ill leave it at that :)
It is interesting this topic should come back up, but when you read the stats regarding violence towards trans folk I feel it an important topic to discuss
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
For men - If you see a woman with a pony tail or a bun try to think that looks pretty she spent some time doing that and not oh her hair looks like a great handle for raping.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
For men - Try to see clothes for colour and style not for how easy you can cut them with scissors to rape her
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
For men - if you see a woman on the phone or looking in her bag it's not an invitation to rape her, she's just minding her own business.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
For men - you may think women looking to be raped always go to grocery stores, they don't they go there to get groceries.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
For men - you may think women looking to be raped always go to parking areas, they don't they go there to get to their car.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
For men - you may think women looking to be raped always go to bathrooms, they don't they go there to use the bathroom.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
For men - If you see a woman who can be quickly grabbed and moved to a second location for raping without being caught, maybe just leave her be and not rape her.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
For men - Just because a woman doesn't fight back, does not mean she wants you to rape her.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
For men - The lack of an umbrella is not a signal to you to rape her. Maybe it's just sunny?
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
For men - as above no umbrella is not a signal for you to rape them.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
For men - As confusing as this might be, if a woman talks to you or doesn't talk to you. neither of them mean you should rape her.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
For - men when approaching a woman if she doesn't yell stop or stay back doesn't mean she wants you to rape her.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
For - men if you go near a woman and she doesn't pepper spray you in the face it doesn't mean she's asking you to rape her.
4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
For - men if you see a woman, don't grab her. If you do grab her don't choose wether to rape her or not on if you get pinched, just don't rape her
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
For men - When approaching a woman don't rely on the old 'if she doesn't kick you in the balls she wants a raping' way of thinking.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked
audibly.
For men - When approaching a woman don't rely on the old 'if she doesn't break your fingers she wants a raping' way of thinking.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, and go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
For men - If you see a woman behaving oddly and you feel your instincts are to rape her. Just don't do it.
I added some tips for guys too. Because my friends who have been raped taught me how victim blaming works.
I am somewhat bothered by this. By this I mean the initial post. It's like totally telling women they have to do so much to not get raped that they have to inconvenience them self like all the time. Most rapes are NOT done by strangers, but by people you know and trust. This is a ridiculous list because it focuses on what a women needs to do to avoid being raped. Things like this list are why so many rapes go unreported. It puts the responsibility on women to not get raped and shames them when they do. The truth is that if we devoted as much time and effort on telling men not to rape as we did with telling women how not to get raped then maybe rape wouldn't be as big of an issue. Men are brought up to sexually objectify women. They treat having sex like it is a conquest that is why rape happens so often! When a girl that a man is after decides that she doesn't have sex despite the fact that the guy thinks "he has her in the bag", he gets upset and makes her have sex anyways. It's Not because girls have long hair or clothes that are easy to remove or because they didn't check every where around the car.
This is coming form someone who almost got raped about 4 months ago. I went over to what I thought was a friends house, and we drank a few beers and then we were talking about things and I told him I was trans. then he responded with "does that mean you will give me a ->-bleeped-<-?"
I said "NO! Fck NO!" And I tried to politely leave and he stepped in front of the door.
He stood there for a while and so I sat back down and we talked more he said he wouldn't try anything again. But then 10 minutes later he tried it again and put his hand on me. I slapped his arm away and ran to the door and got there before him.
I could have easily gotten raped by him and none of those tips would have helped me. This why we have to get real and talk to guys about consent. Not tell women how to avoid getting raped by some random dude you don't even know. It's almost always people you know and like. This post is so problematic and it reeks of the rape culture we live in.
I normally don't share that story. I didn't go into full detail, because it was a really traumatic event. Traumatic enough that I considered stopping my transition because I knew I would be at a much greater risk of that happening again if I continued. Sorry I'm ending my rant here.... :'(
I think the list shows insight into the mind of a particular type of rapist - the opportunistic or methodical planner type that attacks/abducts in the street/in isolated public areas. From that point of view it never hurts to be aware of your surroundings and any potential threats or predators, we would say the same about not being mugged.
As for the larger percentage of rapists, as noted above, many are known to the victim, sometimes intimately. Their tactics are much less predictable.
Self defense skills are always good.
Study a method that works for you.
Have an awareness of your environment.
Avoid 'tunneling in' on things in public.
Safety advice applies to everyone.
It's a crazy world out there, more so than ever.
Know the people you decide to spend any kind of time alone with, people can be deceptive. We all know that.
Don't live in fear though.
Fear is not safe.
Personally, I felt fear when reading that original post.
Anyone going out on a limb to try and keep us safe deserves a million thanks. Anyone trying to go behind the lines to differenciate truth from lie deserves a million thanks. I think we're all old enough to know that with any provided information we must take some and leave some, make your own judgement but please don't blame the messengers, they are only... messengers (trying to help).
What I heard was to use the open palm and hit the nose from the side, trying to break it. Apparently, even if you don't succeed tears will be so abundant that they will totaly blind the guy for a while, leaving you time to run. Donno whether it works or not but it certainly is logical and I remember being hit on the nose, I did go blind so...
On the other hand, if a guy(s) abducted me and eventualy realized that I'm not what he expected, I think he would go into such a rage that suddenly rape wouldn't be an issue anymore and that my life would be suspended by a very very fine thread, but who knows.
Thanks everyone, Rose.