Hey everyone. This is pretty much just a rant and a chance to get some negative feelings out of my system.
I mentioned in the past I had to be discharged from the gender clinic due to mental health problems which they felt might get in the way of me transitioning as they thought it would be extra stressful for me. I'm going back to see them in April and as I have my name legally changed, I use male bathrooms and I am pretty much full time male I'm hoping they will give the green light on T.
The problem is my boyfriends family still don't know even though I look, talk and behave very male. Me and my boyfriend felt it was best he speaks to them about me as it's his family and, well, I don't really like them lol. He, however, has not got around to doing this. The thing is his family seem to have quite traditional views when it comes to femininity and masculinity, that males have these roles and these jobs and vice versa.
Things were tough the other night when his aunt asked us, in quite a jokey way, when we were planning on having kids. I said I didn't want any but she did what everyone seems to do, which really annoys me, and said "You'll change your mind one day."
It was painful because things are hard between me and my partner, what with me becoming a man and him being a heterosexual male whose goal in life is to have his own biological son. I couldn't help but feel guilty knowing I wouldn't be able to provide him that and it didn't help his aunt joking about.
So things feel incredibly hard at the moment and now I'm feeling a bit crappy because I'm off out with some of his close family tomorrow for a meal and this means I will have to use female toilets and so on. I know it's only for one evening but I feel like I am betraying myself slightly. All these years it's taken me the courage to be who I am and to go and use the female bathrooms just feels like I am letting myself down, like I am letting them win somehow. I know it's ridiculous but it's really aggravating me.
Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Quote from: MRH on January 11, 2013, 07:06:06 PM
but she did what everyone seems to do, which really annoys me, and said "You'll change your mind one day."
I really hate that too. It's so dismissive and belittling. :laugh:
It makes me think of Monty Python for some reason. When Terry Jones played his over bearing, wining woman, such as Brian's mother.
Mrh, I'm so sorry that your bf's aunt said that :( I'm guessing if his family is just super traditional they probably just think it's one of those 'inevitable' things. I would have another talk with your bf about talking to his family...maybe ask him why he's delaying it. He may be having anxieties about coming out to them. Either way he needs to communicate with you. as far as him being straight and wanting his own biological son...well that's a tough one...have you been up front on the fact you won't be able to give that to him? If you have, has he discussed other options such as adoption or just not having children...or does he think he might eventually be able to change your mind? Either way, I'm hoping all goes well for you.