Does Having a Transgender Parent Make Sons into Better Men?
After six years as a mother, twelve as a father, a parent climbs a mountain.
Published on January 15, 2013 by Jennifer F. Boylan in Stuck in the Middle With You
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stuck-in-the-middle-you/201301/does-having-transgender-parent-make-sons-better-men (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stuck-in-the-middle-you/201301/does-having-transgender-parent-make-sons-better-men)
It wasn't the first mountain our family had climbed, nor, for that matter was it the first time we'd all been through a mysterious set of changes.
When I came out as transgender, my boys were six and four, back in 2000. For a while back then we weren't as certain who we were anymore. The four of us, as familiar to one another as family members can be, suddenly found ourselves morphing into something new, something unrecognizable.
For my sons, it had meant going from a family with a mother and a father—and all the normative privilege that comes with that—to a family with two moms, a family that all at once seemed to be on the margins of the culture.
For my wife, it had meant going from what seemed like a traditional marriage of husband and wife to a same-sex one, from a place of safety within the culture to a place of uncertainty.
There were times when we weren't sure if we were going to survive as a family, and if we did survive, we weren't entirely sure who we were going to become.
I know a guy who's father transitioned 35 years ago, including srs.
He's now in his early fifties and because of his fathers transition experiencing psychological problems.
He's in therapy right now.
I also know of a another guy who couldn't handle his fathers transition and is experiencing psychological problems as well.
Decades after their father's transition that is.
A good parent, makes a good parent. Whether Transgender or Cis and Straight/Gay/Bi/Lesbian. One which teaches empathy, kindness, and openness.
While I haven't transitioned, my wife and son know that I am transgender. I wear skirts and camisoles around the house. I go out dressed and my wife goes out with me when I am. My granddaughter calls me 'ma'. Being a good parent takes time and effort.
In the case of transition , I believe that once you share it with family or friends it's up to them what they do with the situation.