Now that I think about it, I've never really wanted bottom surgery. No, I'm not happy with what's "down there" exactly, but I'm not super discontent, for some reason. I really know deep down that I'm a dude. But not being upset with the genitals of the opposite gender... Is that weird? I can't decide.
I also see a lot of transgendered people who boast in being transgendered. Once I can get on T, though, there's no way anybody ever (except for my soulmate) is going to know I once had lady bits and stuff.
Are those things weird?
no its not weird, i dont want bottom surgery, i guess i have always wanted top only, but thats changing also my gf has changed my mind several times, i wonder if she'll change my mind about wanting t. lol.
Quote from: 757ftmlo on January 16, 2013, 05:51:21 PM
no its not weird, i dont want bottom surgery, i guess i have always wanted top only, but thats changing also my gf has changed my mind several times, i wonder if she'll change my mind about wanting t. lol.
Hmm. Interesting. It's good to know I'm not alone. I want top surgery, too, but with the way my parents are trying to snuff out every ounce of how I feel, that won't be happening soon. Neither will T.
I've come across quite a few FtM guys with no intention of bottom surgery. I always used to think that was weird, since, for me, the best part about being male is having male genitalia, but after doing research, I don't think I'd opt for bottom surgery either. The technology just isn't good enough yet and I'm sure I'd regret it; I'd hate to find myself ineligible for improved phalloplasties in the future because I've already mangled my junk.
I would love a penis...
But the good results are a little far and few in between for my taste, metoid or phallo. I know it's possible to grow a penis, get on with it already. :P
I'd don't either. But don't worry if you change your mind over it, I think that's also normal.
--Jay
Dysphoria varies for everyone. I do want bottom surgery eventually but financially it's at least a decade away. The thing is I don't want it because I hate what I have down there. I'm kinda "whatever" about it for the most part. My reasoning for it is two fold. First so I can look in the mirror and see absolutely nothing female. Just top to bottom see everything the way it should have been. The second reason is because of my illness. I'll be dealing with it the rest of my life and it would be nice not to feel the embarrassment that I feel when I'm in the Hospital. However, I must say that surgical procedures for us need improvement.
There are also no "rules" when it comes to who you tell or don't tell about being trans. The only people who know about me are my gf, my gf's dad (he told me something private so I told him about myself. I did it to make him feel ok), my mom, and relatives. I think some people have suspected for years..old coworkers and stuff but nobody has asked. I worked at one place for seven years. One person asked me and they were shocked that I was so nonchalant about it. People tend to think when you hide something you're embarrassed about it. If someone approaches me respectfully then yeah I have no problems talking about it. Being trans isn't something I'm embarrassed about. I just don't feel the need to inform everyone. For me it's on a "need to know basis".
Everybody's experience is their own and you aren't weird. Also like Jay said, your feelings and opinions on stuff can change and that's okay too. I know my decisions and goals about a lot of the details haven't stayed static.
Quote from: Simon on January 16, 2013, 06:42:01 PM
Dysphoria varies for everyone. I do want bottom surgery eventually but financially it's at least a decade away. The thing is I don't want it because I hate what I have down there. I'm kinda "whatever" about it for the most part. My reasoning for it is two fold. First so I can look in the mirror and see absolutely nothing female. Just top to bottom see everything the way it should have been. The second reason is because of my illness. I'll be dealing with it the rest of my life and it would be nice not to feel the embarrassment that I feel when I'm in the Hospital. However, I must say that surgical procedures for us need improvement.
There are also no "rules" when it comes to who you tell or don't tell about being trans. The only people who know about me are my gf, my gf's dad (he told me something private so I told him about myself. I did it to make him feel ok), my mom, and relatives. I think some people have suspected for years..old coworkers and stuff but nobody has asked. I worked at one place for seven years. One person asked me and they were shocked that I was so nonchalant about it. People tend to think when you hide something you're embarrassed about it. If someone approaches me respectfully then yeah I have no problems talking about it. Being trans isn't something I'm embarrassed about. I just don't feel the need to inform everyone. For me it's on a "need to know basis".
You and Aleon are awesome people. Just gonna note that.
Yeah. That stops me from wanting the surgery, but also that I know my parents would hate it. No, I'm not going to go and say "mom, dad, I have a penis". But just knowing that they would be mortified and horrified if they found out makes me feel bad. I love them, and my love for them is partly what's stopping me from just being me.
I wish my parents could take me for what I am instead of what they want me to be.
You sound pretty good with that sort of things. If someone asked me, I'm sure I'd tell them, but it would be a bit hard to manage for me. I just need to get over it, though. Some people weren't born in the right bodies. I was one of them.
/edit
Quote from: Felix on January 16, 2013, 07:03:19 PM
Everybody's experience is their own and you aren't weird. Also like Jay said, your feelings and opinions on stuff can change and that's okay too. I know my decisions and goals about a lot of the details haven't stayed static.
You're cool, too. I see you around a lot.
Mm-hmm. They may change. It's true. I hope to be more independent once I can move out of my parent's house. For now I'm really under their rule.
I've chosen against bottom surgery as well. For me though, it has nothing to do with results, I actually like what I see result wise. I just feel that its not necessary for my transition. The high price tag and my fear of sharp blades anywhere near my genitals contributes a bit as well @_@.
I would like a penis, but I am not planning on getting bottom. It isn't a high priority for me, partly because unless you're a gyno or other doctor or a lover, you'll never see what's down there anyway, unlike my visible chest.
I am sure you've heard other people say this but, you'll get to a point in your life where you'll still have love for your parents but you'll need to make a choice about your own happiness or theirs. This is your life, not your parents, and if they truly loved you, they'll have to get past the whole trans thing and bottom surgery. I know it's a hard thing to do or think about, but I am sure you have many years ahead of you to do your transition at your own pace, and make your own decisions. Your parents may change their minds as you grow older and learn to accept you no matter what.
It is a thing who can changed with the time.
Often, When we start our transition, we don't think really at it. But when we are recognized in our new gender, we think at this surgery (or not).
I'd love to have the right equipment down under but I'm not particularly worried about getting rid of the wrong bits. I can't see them so they don't bother me. To me, they're just a set of internal organs like my kidneys or whatever. I don't think of them as being specifically female; to me they're just functional.
I'm planning to go for some sort of bottom surgery but I'm not keen on phallo. I know the procedure has improved over the years but I believe the risk of losing certain sensations is still too high for me.
I wish someone would just invent a pill we could take so the right bits would grow naturally. And while I'm wishing, I'd also like to win the lottery - which is just as likely to happen within my lifetime. ;)
Quote from: Reinhaven on January 16, 2013, 07:03:41 PM
You and Aleon are awesome people. Just gonna note that.
Ah shucks. Thanks!
--Jay
My junk stays as it is. Well, apart from whatever more changes T brings.
Quote from: FTMDiaries on January 17, 2013, 09:23:39 AM
I'd love to have the right equipment down under but I'm not particularly worried about getting rid of the wrong bits. I can't see them so they don't bother me. To me, they're just a set of internal organs like my kidneys or whatever. I don't think of them as being specifically female; to me they're just functional.
I'm planning to go for some sort of bottom surgery but I'm not keen on phallo. I know the procedure has improved over the years but I believe the risk of losing certain sensations is still too high for me.
I wish someone would just invent a pill we could take so the right bits would grow naturally. And while I'm wishing, I'd also like to win the lottery - which is just as likely to happen within my lifetime. ;)
Hello, you!
I just searched "phalloplasty surgery" because I'm still not strong in my terminology, and.
Well.
Let's just say I was almost as scared as when I read "The Bongcheon-Dong Ghost".
That looks so incredibly painful. All surgeries are, I've heard. But ouch. Oh ouch. I don't know if I could do that...
Quote from: John Smith on January 17, 2013, 11:23:07 AM
My junk stays as it is. Well, apart from whatever more changes T brings.
I've heard a lot of changes come with T. All the more reason to be excited when I can finally start it!
That won't be for awhile, though, but I'm watching the future with bright expectations.
---I'm all into STP devices and packers, since they would pass well, from the ones I've seen, but I can't get those either right now... And at this point I couldn't even go into the men's bathroom with enough confidence that I would pass. I look sort of like a prepubescent dude right now, but I just don't think it would work out. -Headdesk-
I had the exact same reaction when I looked up phalloplasty and even metoidioplasty for the first time, knives, down there, just no. I'm not a big fan of any surgeries, I don't trust what people might do while I'm completely knocked out, and I don't think I could ever trust someone to go messing around down there with no knowledge or ability to have input (I really freaked out my hospital when I was 13 because they couldn't handle the fact that I would be mature enough to have a very minor 9 minute operation on my hand with local anaesthetic and the message didn't reach everyone until half an hour before that I wasn't having a general.) The results aren't good enough for me to go through that at the moment, but I might change my opinion later.
I don't hate my parts that much, I just tend to try and forget that they're there. I can stomach sex with them and everything, but I still wish they were male though. Part of me is wishing that T didn't change them because I feel that I'd rather have parts that were "one or the other", but the part of me that's leaning towards desperately wanting something down there is growing. It's just something that I'll have to see about later personally, but it's not weird to not want bottom surgery, or feel deep hatred of those parts. Almost everyone I've heard talk about it feels stronger about top surgery and T than down there, because as you say, no one knows what's there except you and any partners. It's like why I can't understand women who spend a fortune on underwear, no one sees it! (I know guys do, but at least people can see the waistband of boxers sometimes.)
And there's nothing weird about wanting to not be out and proud about being trans either. Plenty of guys are stealth, and I personally will be when I get things moving. It probably seems like you know more people who are out about it because the rest of us just meld in with all the cisguys and you'd not know they were there. Sites like this show that there are plenty more trans guys out there than people realise.
Not getting bottom surgery seems to be a pretty common feeling among trans men. Everyone has a different experience. I've met a few FtM individuals who are completely comfortable with all of their body even being pre-op.
Personally I have no interest in getting bottom surgery right now. The technology is nowhere near advanced enough for FtM surgery for my liking. There is also no way to get a prostate. So if I were to get bottom surgery only one form of penetration would be possible and without a prostate, for me it's a bit uncomfortable at best, so there's no real point to me. I imagine even when we are making penises and testicles in test tubes, it will still be far too expensive for someone like me to ever be able to afford. So I'll probably never get bottom surgery.