I think i need to tell this girl im an ftm. she may or may not know somethings about my past as we go to the same high school. she is in he grade below me and i began my transition in 10th grade.
im not really sure how to tell her so any tips would be great.
also should i let her know i like her before or after the whole telling her im trans thing. the whole reason i want to tell her im trans is because i cant lie to her.
im afraid telling her before she feels something for me in a romantic sense will make her put me in the friend zone like every other friend who is a girl has done to me.
I have come out to girls before, and it went well, so...
I think you should bring her someplace that's private where there's absolutely no chance that someone will disturb you, and first tell her that you like her, and that because you like her you have something that you need to tell her. Then tell her you're trans, and then if she knows anything she'll bring it up and you two can talk it over. (And chocolates never hurt anyone :D )
From what I've seen in your previous posts, if this is the same girl, she probably already knows or highly suspects it, so it shouldn't come as a shock to her. Just expect some questions and I think she'd be accepting of it, or else she probably wouldn't have continued to hang out with you and be touching your chest.
thanks man that super reassuring.
Your post made me think back to the time when I first met my gf. Before we started dating she had only date cis males before (she was 18 and I was 22). We met at work and at the time I had just gotten out of a two year relationship and wasn't looking for anything.
Anyways, long story short we started hanging out after work. I could tell she liked me more than just friends. About three weeks after we started going out to shoot pool she grabbed me in the car and kissed me. I was terrified. I went in and my mom confronted me about the situation (she was on the porch smoking and seen what happened). My mom told me to cut her loose. It wasn't worth risking my job and everyone I knew at work if this girl flipped out on me.
Well, later that night I gave her a call. Told her that I didn't think we should be seeing each other so much. She didn't understand and got upset. If it is one thing I can't stand is to see or hear a woman cry. I told her that I was going to trust her with something and if she could deal with it then we would proceed with getting to know each other. If not then we could be best of friends and no hard feelings. She agreed to that and I told her...
...almost 9 years later I'm making dinner and waiting for her to get home from work. :)
It is hard to tell someone you have interest in but I look at it this way; if THIS is going to run someone off then that is ok. That shows me that they wouldn't be a good choice for the long haul. If someone CAN accept this then there is a good chance that they would be understanding in problems or issues that happen down the road.
i dont think there is any real way to tell someone that your an ftm, chocolate is the best way to break the ice,
obviously she likes you if she continues to hang around you, you can always take her to a park so if she does decided to try and throw something she wont have a chance. lol, hate to cut this short but i gotta run, finish posting later
It's always complicate but you can dot it.
The best way not exist.
I told my current GF that I was FTM right away. I thought if she can't handle it, I don't need to be with her. We're together now and getting engaged soon. It might work in your favor.
"Hey, I have to tell you something. I'm trans."
generally it just happent for me.
I start talking politically about trans issues, about people I know or other trans related stuff and people get inpressed of my knowlegde and then I put in in afterward like "yeah I know this, cause im trans btw"
I did this today.. and the guy where pretty shocked, he first thought it where a hobby of mine to dress up as a girl.
Quote from: Simon on January 16, 2013, 09:54:03 PM
It is hard to tell someone you have interest in but I look at it this way; if THIS is going to run someone off then that is ok. That shows me that they wouldn't be a good choice for the long haul. If someone CAN accept this then there is a good chance that they would be understanding in problems or issues that happen down the road.
I agree with your sentiment :)
Ill be honest myself.There was some woman who were interested in me (long story) and i felt the same about them.they did not see me physicaly tho through pictures and other means and i got kind of scared about coming out to them,thinking the same and one day i accepted it and said *well if they care for me as a person then it shouldnt matter so im going to tell them* so i did.it went..well better then i thought and they didnt care,made it very clear they still loved me for ME and still wanted to be with me.god i felt so much better.never know until you take the chance
I have generally waited until we have established that we liked each other a lot, and that a physical relationship was in the cards. Not that I wait until we're both half-naked or anything, just that what we have been doing could be either a close friendship or dating.
Then I move into a general:
I like you but there is something I need to tell you before our friendship goes any further than that. And I will completely understand if this puts me in the "just friends" category. I am a transsexual man...
And then I give a basic run down of what that entails, which will depend on where you are in your transition, and where you chose to stop.
Most of the time, the woman hasn't minded, and thus far I never lost the friendship even if the hope of sex went right out the window.
Shortman