So during my third appointment with my therapist this past Friday, she brought up the subject about when I would like to start hormones. I told her that I've been keeping a mental mantra of "three months" so I don't get impatient, to which she responded that she feels comfortable signing off a letter within the next few visits if I feel ready.
And I feel SO beyond ready. I feel like I wanted to start hormones 7 years ago! (Haha.) I am completely comfortable with the idea of starting HRT, I feel mentally ready for what's to come, and I just want to get started working towards the life I want. There is money holding me back, I've been out of work for a little over a year and I'm absolutely broke! I'm working really hard on getting a job as soon as I can, and I would actually like to get the letter signed off after I've gotten a paycheck or two in the bank. Depending on how well my last interview went, that could be within a months time! I have been keeping an open conversation with my closest friends and immediate family, and there's been a few concerns. My mother and a friend both said the same thing, that "Doesn't only three therapy appointments seem a little too soon to be sure?"
So the question that's been on my mind is how soon is too soon? Or is there really a "too soon" when you feel ready for it?
Just want to get some other perspectives.
Hi Charlequin,
You answered your own question. There is no "too soon" Now is the perfect time. You "are" ready. You said so yourself. Remember to be guided by your own instincts and nothing can go wrong. This is rule No 1 Page 1 Chapter 1 in the transition rule book ;D Listen to yourself. Everyone else only has an opinion.
Go for it girl, even if you have to borrow the money. You'll NEVER look back.
Huggs
Catherine
Personally, I put off hrt until I had a good job and an employer that would be completely fine with my transition. (Took me over a year.)
I hear about a lot of trans people that started transition before having all their life together and now they are jobless and broke.
And if you end up finding a job but your employer seems on edge, save money. I'd save around 6000 before starting hrt, so you can survive a while if he fires you. Also keep searching for a job even though you already have one. Find a boss that will respect and be fine with everything.
Prepare for anything.
Better safe than sorry.(or in the street in this case.)
I thought about that before hand so I'm all good :)
People here are probably gonna tell you to jump on HRT right away.
But it's not all about if you're mentally ready. You need to think about the big picture.
Also think; if you get on HRT, and start changing and passing as your gender.
Your name and gender marker won't be changed. That can screw you over if you don't already have a job.
So ask yourself; if I start HRT now even though I'm jobless, do I have enough saved up to assure
a name change and gender marker change with the money I currently have? And if you live on your own,
do I have enough to survive for a couple months?
Don't get caught in the hole like many do.
Just think about all that before hrt.
Mentally you seem ready, that's awesome!
but ask yourself, are you financially and socially ready?
Good luck dude!
Never is too soon to get your hormones in line with the other same-aged members of your sex.
Quote from: Charlequin on January 21, 2013, 10:43:51 AM
So during my third appointment with my therapist this past Friday, she brought up the subject about when I would like to start hormones. I told her that I've been keeping a mental mantra of "three months" so I don't get impatient, to which she responded that she feels comfortable signing off a letter within the next few visits if I feel ready.
So the question that's been on my mind is how soon is too soon? Or is there really a "too soon" when you feel ready for it?
Just want to get some other perspectives.
You do realize how expensive a gender transition is and hormones are like .001% of it. I have no idea if you are in the US or Europe, but have you really thought it all the way through? Don't get all hyped over the hormone part of this. You really need to. Be able to hold down a job and make sure that you have the money to finish what you started. I've seen the people who rush it through without a plan and it's not a very good life to have to live. Maybe you will be happy out on the very fringes of society, but I would highly doubt that anyone truly wants that.
Quote from: Jayr on January 21, 2013, 10:55:37 AM
So ask yourself; if I start HRT now even though I'm jobless, do I have enough saved up to assure
a name change and gender marker change with the money I currently have? And if you live on your own,
do I have enough to survive for a couple months?
Don't get caught in the hole like many do.
Just think about all that before hrt.
Mentally you seem ready, that's awesome!
but ask yourself, are you financially and socially ready?
Good luck dude!
Currently I live with my parents, and they are extremely supportive of me. I understand, though, that as much as they can support me with housing they will not be able to support me with the cost of transitioning. The places that I've been applying for all have clauses for LGBT workplace equality, some even offer insurance that cover a bit of the transitioning expense. I'm not using that as a kind of crutch, thinking that I'm going to have the insurance out-right or something to that matter. I'm just looking into workplaces that will be friendlier to what I am going through. I will not be starting HRT jobless. If I can't get a full time job, I'm actually trying to get two part time jobs.
I already know I am not financially ready, but as far as the social aspect goes, I have so much support with my friends and family, I feel like I'll be good.
Quote from: Zumbagirl on January 21, 2013, 11:21:03 AM
You do realize how expensive a gender transition is and hormones are like .001% of it. I have no idea if you are in the US or Europe, but have you really thought it all the way through? Don't get all hyped over the hormone part of this. You really need to. Be able to hold down a job and make sure that you have the money to finish what you started. I've seen the people who rush it through without a plan and it's not a very good life to have to live. Maybe you will be happy out on the very fringes of society, but I would highly doubt that anyone truly wants that.
Yes, I do realize how expensive everything is. I am in the US, just for reference. I have thought this all the way through. I've looked into the cost of hormones and antiandrogens without insurance, the cost of laser hair removal and electrolysis, the cost of breast augmentation, and the cost of srs. I'm not jumping in blind. Hell, the cost of my therapy is $140 a visit, and I'm going to have to space that out more if I can't get a job soon. There's also the medical costs for blood work, regular checkups, and variable other visits. There's also rebuilding my wardrobe, which isn't going to be cheap either. I'm going to my best at looking through thrift shops and clearance racks to save as much money as I can there. There's also the cost for makeup, which for me is pretty non-negotiable because I'm a makeup kind of girl.
I realize it is going to be costing me thousands upon thousands of dollars. Of course I'm a little scared of that. I'm working on getting into a position where I don't have to be terrified of it, and as soon as I start working, I'm starting a savings specifically for the more expensive things that really are not going to be coming around until a fairly distant future.
Thank you both for the concerns and opinions.
Quote from: Charlequin on January 21, 2013, 12:56:00 PM
I already know I am not financially ready, but as far as the social aspect goes, I have so much support with my friends and family, I feel like I'll be good.
Yes, I do realize how expensive everything is. I am in the US, just for reference. I have thought this all the way through. I've looked into the cost of hormones and antiandrogens without insurance, the cost of laser hair removal and electrolysis, the cost of breast augmentation, and the cost of srs. I'm not jumping in blind. Hell, the cost of my therapy is $140 a visit, and I'm going to have to space that out more if I can't get a job soon. There's also the medical costs for blood work, regular checkups, and variable other visits. There's also rebuilding my wardrobe, which isn't going to be cheap either. I'm going to my best at looking through thrift shops and clearance racks to save as much money as I can there. There's also the cost for makeup, which for me is pretty non-negotiable because I'm a makeup kind of girl.
I realize it is going to be costing me thousands upon thousands of dollars. Of course I'm a little scared of that. I'm working on getting into a position where I don't have to be terrified of it, and as soon as I start working, I'm starting a savings specifically for the more expensive things that really are not going to be coming around until a fairly distant future.
Thank you both for the concerns and opinions.
Well having a good supportive family is excellent, good for you! If you can swing it, then you are a good ways there. I know a few girls who came from supportive homes who transitioned in their teens. One girls parents paid for her surgery in Thailand. She worked various jobs in retail, had not a penny to spend, and used a lot of money on electrolysis, makeup and clothes. Her and I transitioned about the same time so we both a did a bunch of our changes at the same time. The big difference in our transitions was this: I was already out of college and earning 10 times what she was making, so I had a lot more money that I could spend on my physical changes. I didn't have to ask, I just needed to do it when I could afford it. I was already self sufficient when i started.
Sometimes it's hard to tell someones age online. I "assumed" incorrectly that you might be throwing caution to the wind, only because our little community has more than it share of lost causes.
If you are young enough and don't have a lot of personal history then this is a good time to do it. Keep your head screwed on straight and do what you can while e living is easy.
Quote from: Zumbagirl on January 21, 2013, 02:18:26 PM
Well having a good supportive family is excellent, good for you! If you can swing it, then you are a good ways there. I know a few girls who came from supportive homes who transitioned in their teens. One girls parents paid for her surgery in Thailand. She worked various jobs in retail, had not a penny to spend, and used a lot of money on electrolysis, makeup and clothes. Her and I transitioned about the same time so we both a did a bunch of our changes at the same time. The big difference in our transitions was this: I was already out of college and earning 10 times what she was making, so I had a lot more money that I could spend on my physical changes. I didn't have to ask, I just needed to do it when I could afford it. I was already self sufficient when i started.
Sometimes it's hard to tell someones age online. I "assumed" incorrectly that you might be throwing caution to the wind, only because our little community has more than it share of lost causes.
If you are young enough and don't have a lot of personal history then this is a good time to do it. Keep your head screwed on straight and do what you can while e living is easy.
I understand completely, it's better to be cautious with advice rather than assuming someone is old enough to comprehend the actual costs of, well, everything. I am still young, I haven't even been 23 for a whole month yet! I'm doing my best to keep myself grounded in this situation and not fantasize TOO much about what's to come.
And when I do start getting a little fantasize crazy I remember how much it's going to cost and then I remember the whole job situation.
Hi Charlequin,
Just a minor point off topic. As you have such supportive parents, have you considered talking to your Mum about her helping you how to sew and make your own clothes? Of course assuming she is into that. It can create some really great bonding moments.
I had an absolutely awesome time with my sister-in-law just recently doing the same thing. WOW!! it was priceless.
Huggs
Catherine
Quote from: Catherine Sarah on January 21, 2013, 10:22:31 PM
Hi Charlequin,
Just a minor point off topic. As you have such supportive parents, have you considered talking to your Mum about her helping you how to sew and make your own clothes? Of course assuming she is into that. It can create some really great bonding moments.
I had an absolutely awesome time with my sister-in-law just recently doing the same thing. WOW!! it was priceless.
Huggs
Catherine
I'm in school for Fashion Design, actually, and I'm pretty proficient at sewing. I'm definitely going to be working at making (and designing) some of my own clothes. I think it's going to be kind of a necessity because it might be a little difficult to find clothes that fit me the way I would like them to but I'll figure that out when I get to it!
WOW!!! What a go girl you turn out to be.
Well, maybe you could turn the tables, perhaps, and teach your Mum (how to suck egg ;D)
Huggs
Catherine
Charlequin,
From what you're saying in your posts on this thread, I think you've pretty much got it together.
You've got your social/support network.
Therapist has given you the green light.
You've done your budgeting.
I think you're being sensible in holding off for the extra few weeks to get the financial side square - it'll make you feel a lot more confident going forward.
I also wish I could sew - just don't have time to pick up another interest.
I hope this doesn't sound weird but I'd recommend having a donation page of sorts, whenever I have more money than essentials and a small amount of saved cash (living with parents, so it's not a huge amount) I'd be willing to donate most of the extra cash to people struggling with the transition costs. Might not be a lot but maybe it could add up. :P