Hey all, I'm new here. Anyway, I don't know if anyone has been in this position, but... ?
My counselor talked to me about coming out to my professors and classmates for the new semester (My family doesn't know yet, and I can't tell them right now). Everyone in my major pretty much knows me already, although some other classes and professors will be new. I'm thinking about emailing my professors and telling them. I'm pretty nervous about having to reintroduce myself as Tim -- but, I don't pass very well?? No one has ever read me as male. I try to do my best on my own -- I've got a pretty masculine haircut, and I'm wearing some men's clothes and going to hopefully phase out all the women's jeans -- but I haven't had any luck so far. My binder isn't great, and... anyway, I'm a little worried?? Can I really expect my professors to call me Tim and respect me as a guy?? I look like a somewhat-butch lesbian at best!!
My counsellor wasn't too fazed by my concerns but... I don't know. I'm embarrassed to be honest. I feel like I'd just make an idiot of myself. How can anyone take me seriously? Could I do this realistically?? Should I just ask for the name change and not tell them I'm trans?? What do you think?
Hey there, I'm pretty much in the same boat so I'm no help I'm afraid, but I'm interested in what others have to say (I'm just starting my second semester at my current school). I actually look pretty...well...non-female, but the instant I open my mouth and my squeaky girl voice comes out the game's up, lol. While I would love to get my name legally changed and insist on male pronouns, it seems pointless.
My experience was largely positive. I did not pass at all pre-T, I didn't even look "butch" for a woman. But everyone at university was very respectful towards me. No one ever messed up my name, and if they messed up the pronouns they usually corrected themselves (or I'd just say "he").
I found that emailing was fine, but a bit impersonal. I often approached them before class began and just said "hey, the name on the roster is *birth name*, but I am transgender and I go by "Caleb" and male pronouns." Sometimes they made a little note on the roster, crossing out the old name and putting on the new one. And then I'd use Caleb on all my assignments and whatnot.
thanks, guys! i emailed all of my professors with my name and pronouns. no turning back now!!
i'm considering how to tell the other students, especially the ones who already know me. aaah!!! so nervous!!!! but it's a good nervous!!
Quote from: secondo on January 26, 2013, 11:35:16 PM
thanks, guys! i emailed all of my professors with my name and pronouns. no turning back now!!
i'm considering how to tell the other students, especially the ones who already know me. aaah!!! so nervous!!!! but it's a good nervous!!
You did a great job. Congratulations!
Quote from: secondo on January 26, 2013, 11:35:16 PM
thanks, guys! i emailed all of my professors with my name and pronouns. no turning back now!!
i'm considering how to tell the other students, especially the ones who already know me. aaah!!! so nervous!!!! but it's a good nervous!!
Good idea giving your professors a heads up. Congratulations too!
I hope you have as good an experience as I did with your classmates. Case in point: I started going to school as a girl about a year ago now. Well, there was one day in April where I was just feeling out of sorts and I chose to go back to one of my classes as a boy again. The students who sat around me got really worried about me and asked what was wrong and then went on to encourage
me to come back to class next time! :) Good people.
I didn't know a bunch of people in school, I was kind of a hermit, but there were a few who knew me for a semester or two before I began my RLE. Still, not a one gave me any problems. Rather everyone I knew was compassionate and encouraging. I should mention that I didn't pass all that well either, but, I make more sense to people when they think of me as a woman which I feel made and makes up for how I look. I'm confident and hopeful that the people you're with will understand you better as a man Tim and things will end up being more than fine.
Good luck with your studies too! As my grandpa used to say, "School is a gold mine, you get what you dig out of it."