I've been lately wondering, that is it possible, that your body starts to adapt, or at least tries to adapt even when it cannot, to your correct gender even before HRT, after you have internally come to terms with yourself?
Why I'm asking is that you hear a lot of talk about power of the human mind, how it can overcome even terminal diseases and such. I'm wondering about this, as I'm definitely seeing some changes in this body, which are real and visible to others too, not just my imagination or wishful thinking. These changes are not just feminine I think, but changes that do show that the body is definitely trying to change something.
First of all my skin has turned into a much more greasy. It's just so visible in my shoulders and chest, which are full of red pimples, where a year ago there was only white and smooth skin. My GF has noticed these too and the second thing that she has said is that the odor from my body is different and much stronger than before. That of course upsets me, but it's something that is out of my control. What is also probably out of my direct and conscious control, is the thing that is between the legs. It has sort of ceased to function in its "usual and too eager" way, which suits me just fine, but still puzzles me a lot that how it is possible. I'm also noticing, that there doesn't really seem to be anything anymore, that sexually arouses me. Not women, not men. Nothing.
Then there are the breasts, which I admit is probably a wishful thinking, but if I would have measured them a year ago, I bet they were a lot smaller than what they appear to be now.
All those are real changes and they do puzzle me a bit, as I'm more of a scientific orientated mind and I've always been sceptical about the talk of power of human mind. I've been trying to rationalize the changes a bit as I haven't really paid attention or cared about this body in 35 years and now that I have finally started to take care of my skin, hair, nails etc, I've rationalized that I probably notice changes in this body more effectively or that I actually for the first time in my life notice this body at all. That still leaves actual physical changes, which are out of any direct control from me or possible shampoos or lotions, which could explain skin changes.
Any thoughts? I'm just being silly or delusional?
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Quote from: muuu on January 28, 2013, 03:11:07 AM
If you're depressed or anxious it could affect your bodily function too, such as lowered sex drive, lowered appetite, muscle pains, sweatiness, lowered energy levels and probably more things.
True and I've considered depression too. However, I've been severely depressed in my life and I'm far from that condition.
I've got energy, I'm more social and feel a bit more happier now, that I'm in terms with myself so to speak. Thus I have a hard time of thinking myself as a depressed person.
the greasy skin and odor amplification would suggest to me your Testosterone levels have increased... The sex drive would suggest your mind is working overtime, perhaps depression or anxiety? Just thoughts.
It ia a well researched, documented and demonstrated medical fact, certain type of prolonged thinking/attitudinal changes, can and will change the biometrics of the body. Generating certain types of endorphins, pheromones, and altering body chemistries to closer align with the sustained psychological concepts now held.
A typical subconscious example of this is compression injuries, often sustained in building collapses whereby someone may be trapped between immovable structures. Sustained for too long a period without the belief rescue is imminent, the body creates toxins that will shut the body down and kill itself. Hence those ultra optimistic people are the ones who make the impossible recovery story headlines, simply because they believed they would be rescued and failed to succumb to any other belief.
I may suggest you have a thorougher medical checkout including full blood test to ensure you are medically OK.
Huggs
Catherine
More oily skin is more of a male change than a female one. Female equals dry skin. It can come from a variety of things, but psychological, not sure.
As for the general case, I'm not sure what to believe, but I'm not closed to the idea either. There are some things in my life that could have been caused by my way of thinking. Maybe. But might as well just be coincidences and entirely explainable by something else.
- I've always wanted to be blond. Not sure why. As a child, like most people in my father's family, I was shiny blond. But unlike theirs, my hair did not get very brown. In my father's family, they're all dark-brown-and-almost-black, except one of my uncles, who's a lighter brown, but still very brown. If anything, his brown is closer to red than it is to blond. Very opaque. Yet my hair, even though it did darken with time, can still be considered blond. Depending on the lighting, it can look blond, dirty blond or light brown. And of course, on my mother's side, it's brown all the way.
- As a child (and well, afterwards too), I was attracted by that physical characteristic, mainly in younger, thinner guys, when the chest, in the center, is "embossed" forward, making the chest a little pointy, and the most forward point the center, not the pectorals. I found it very, very sexy. I wanted it for myself. (Autoandrophilia, lol.) Then just a few years later, when the trans stuff became clearer in my head, I bitterly regretted that wish as it had developed on me, and I wasn't so happy about it now.
- I've always wanted to have larger, feminine hips. Even in periods when I didn't care so much about wanting to be a girl. Well, during the later parts of my puberty, my hips grew. Nothing amazing, and nothing actually female, but I was really happy with those wider, perhaps abnormal for a guy, hips. And upon starting HRT on a tiny dose of E, whilst it normally doesn't happen to people, my hips grew a little, while losing weight (so no fat redistribution).
- I've always wanted to be thin. Well, while I was pretty heavy-built in my childhood, gradually, it got better. Now, when compared to the rest of the family, especially for a guy who've spent years under the influence of testosterone, in certain aspects, I actually look delicate-ish. I'm still more heavily built for my height than the average, eh. But it could have been worse, much worse.
Am I imagining the causality? Most probably. Is it possible that I'm not imagining it? Yes. Will we ever know? Maybe, but sounds far away.
Thank you for your answers. Changes, or increase in testosterone level is one that I have been considering, but it somehow just doesn't go well together with drop in sexual arousal or other things, like being very emotional which I've always been.
I do admit that my brain is probably working overtime, trying to process everything into a coherent identity.
I have been planning to get my blood work checked, especially since I'm planning DIY HRT at start. I'm also somewhat tempted to put more money on table and check my chromosomes at the same time. Result of chromosome test of course doesn't change anything, but I would like to know.
Just have to get a bit money for that. So many places where to put money, but blood levels and laser treatment currently are the most important to me.
Henna, drop the genetic test. It's expensive, it's long, and it's pointless. First, the chances of you having a chromosomal abnormality are really low. That's literally throwing money through the windows. Think about it again maybe in a few years, when the thousands for HRT, hair removal and surgeries are behind you. And second, even if you do have a chromosomal abnormality, it makes no difference. Really, none. Except maybe some worrywart doctors will want to do more checks in the name of knowledge, and that's not useful.
And pay a visit to a doctor, and describe your symptoms. HRT or not, trans or not, those symptoms of yours require attention.
And if you're going to self-medicate, be very, very careful. There are reasons it's not recommended. Research, research, research more. Get various credible sources. And have regular checkups (and yearly is not what I consider regular), on top of a very thorough one before starting. And whatever your reasons for self-medicating are, try to get on medically supervised treatment as soon as possible. It's heaps safer.
Thank you A for your concrete advices, I'll take those into my heart. Also the genetic test is expensive and it is not something that I have absolutely decided, as like you said, it makes no difference and the money would be more well spent for example to laser treatment, which does make a difference.
Just as a reminder, we do not discuss Do it yourself HRT due to the extreme dangers attributed to it.
Quote from: Annah on January 30, 2013, 01:27:38 AM
Just as a reminder, we do not discuss Do it yourself HRT due to the extreme dangers attributed to it.
I know, I've been here long enough and in any case, this is not a suitable place for me to discuss any hormone/drug related issues, as units and drugs themselves are different on this side of the pond ;D
Henna,
While I do believe the mind can induce body changes, they are likely minimal at best, and perhaps limited to short term, like skin condition or sweat odor. I do believe that at times the body knows what it wants to be, and those conditions can influence the mind to work in those areas, as A posted. i think there was a natural predisposition the body knew about, and let the mind know where to go.
I concur with getting a medical checkup of your symptoms continue. Good luck with your journey.
Barbara
First Post! I am 21 years old, and have not started Estrogen therapy thus far... At least from any medical standpoint. I have very strong Mental awareness and very Deep thoughts, perhaps uniquely so. I have been thinking VERY HARD, and CONSTANTLY about estrogen, progesterone. I literally been saying the word over and over, and I have noticed (with no mistake) Changes in my skin(softer,clearer,brighter),Body fat is moving away from my belly, face, My facial hair is softer, my legs are definitely shinier and softer, I feel happier, and softer in my mind, I feel estrogen flowing through me, And I believe through focusing mentally, I have stimulate increased levels of estrogen without taking anything at all besides a healthier , estrogen friendly diet, but I have been eating well for some time now(4 years) and not seen softer skin or girlish features like I have since focusing on estrogen. My breasts have recently started to define themselves as well! they are plumper, Softer, Squishier, they go into a nice shape when "pushed" and This was not the case before and I am skinnier now than ever before. I way 190lbs I am 6'1" and currently 13% body fat. I have been seeing my abs go from manly six pack-ish to girly Flat and smooth, and its got to be from the Focus on future estrogen therapy...Humans are cool like that!