Ask Matt: Should I Come Out or Stay In?
January 28, 2013 by Matt Kailey
http://tranifesto.com/2013/01/28/should-i-come-out-or-stay-in/ (http://tranifesto.com/2013/01/28/should-i-come-out-or-stay-in/)
A reader writes: "I came out as a transman to myself in 2009, to my (cismale) partner, friends, family, and work from 2010-11, started testosterone in 2011, all in the same town, so to know me as male was to know me as trans.
"In the summer of 2012, I moved 900 miles away from everyone I knew to start graduate school in poetry. When I applied, I was excited about exploring my trans identity through poetry and giving back to the community that helped me so much!
"Well, I got here, and I immediately found myself in full 'stealth' mode. I am happy to be seen as male, no questions, all the time. My partner and I are seen by everyone in our program, campus, and town as a gay male couple. This is exciting – and new – for me, and I figured once I settled in, I would get back to embracing the 'trans' part of me ... but it has not happened yet.
"I have not shown a speck of trans poetry in any class, and I have not come out as trans to anyone here. I feel torn. I have lived about 25 years without being consistently seen as male, without being accepted as a fellow guy, without being able to embrace my self as a feminine queer man (and have it embraced by others), so in some ways, not being out feels great.