I'll try to be as informative as I can be.
It's about my ex girlfriend, and whether she's intrested in me or not basicly. After not seeing each other for almost two years little over a month ago I took up contact with her again because I really like her and I want her in my life, as a friend. So I figured I'll just try to make it happen rather then sit about and hope that it happens, so I texted her for awhile, and then we began talking over the phone.
I can say that after hearing her voice again alot of my old feelings for her came up to the surface again. I'll admit that I still got feeling for her and I would like to see us getting back together. But I fear that telling her this would result in me losing the great contact we have now.
A few weeks ago I went over to see her, she took me out to dinner and then later invited me back to her place. And we played some Gears of War 3 and had pancakes with icecream. We talked alot about everything and anything, she was impressed by my breasts (I hadn't started my HRT last time we saw each other.), and we had a really great time together.
This month or so that we've been in contact she have been texting and phoneing me alot, as in she took the initative. And she have on several occations texted me so frequently that I haven't had time to answer before she sends me another text. The day before yesterday she first messaged me on facebook saying how she will isolate herself from the world and focus on herself for awhile and that she won't have her phone on at all. She then texted me the same message pretty much, and I can fully understand her situation, wanting to be alone right now and sort out things, so I figured I will respect her and make no attemnt to do anything. My response was something like "Ok, sounds good, *hug*", but with slightly charming choise of words. She then continued to text me telling me about this and that. And 15 minutes after she stopped texting me she phoned me and we talked for over an hour.
It was as her words were saying one things and her actions another. Now I know that talking to someone is not the same as being intrested in someone. But I've had this feeling that there is something, I just don't know what. I know she finds me attractive, I know that even though she don't really want to, she is looking for a girlfriend. She have been flirting with me alot on several occations.
But then again, I feel I just might be the only one she can talk to, she really open up to me and tell me about her blights, and I know she don't really have others to talk to. They either wants to sleep with her, only wants to talk about themselves or they just want to hang out but never talk about anything of depth. I'm thinking thats what I'm sensing, I'm one of the few people she got that she can talk to. And if that's the case I really don't want to ->-bleeped-<- it all up by admitting I got feelings for her.
I just don't know what to do...at times I feel I just can't see the obvious as I'm too close to it all...
I wouldn't admit your feelings yet. I would just follow her lead for now. Let her make the first move.
Just from the little you wrote, it sounds as if she has quite a bit going on in her life. Trying to establish a more romantic relationship with her at this time is probably a very bad idea. To me, it sounds as if she needs a good friend, which you are being. I suggest you continue to be her friend, and support her through whatever she is going through. In the end, when she emerges from this you will be there. This is just my opinion however, ultimately you need to listen to your heart.
Cheers, I feel abit more confident in my determination to focus on just trying to be there for her. Yes, that feels best, I'm sure that things will work out brilliantly however things will play out.