i have a funeral to go to in a couple days it's my grandfathers, i am to read a tribute and will be wearing a suit for the first time, would it be acceptable to wear a silver gray and white tie or should i buy a black one and is there any other dress ediqutte i should be wary of
Sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Yeah, that tie should be fine. It's not loud colors.
Funeral attire is all over the place ... as long as your dressed conservative and not in bright colors you will be just fine.
up to you and depends on the atmosphere too. I would stick to the classic black tie just to eliminate any doubts (as long as its not a financial burden)
Most people go with black ties, but it would depend a bit on the relationship you had with this person. I know sometimes if a person died from a disease or suicide people will wear ties in the color of the ribbon typically associated with that problem (Ex: pink for breast cancer, red for HIV/AIDS).
To begin, I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hug))
If you are wearing a dark (especially black) suit, then the silver/gray and white tie would be fine. I've actually performed a couple funerals with that exact same outfit (Wal-mart ties ftw).
Dark colors (except in the situations Nygeel mentioned) are appropriate, but a completely black outfit is (usually) not. A white long-sleeved button-down shirt as part of the suit would be perfect.
If you own black dress shoes, then wear those - make sure you shine them first. Black shoes with a black suit. If the best pair of shoes you own is a pair of tennis shoes (or sneakers, depending on what you call them), then wear them. While it's not the best combination, you're family, so the rest of the family SHOULD understand. I've found folks to be a lot more understanding and appreciative at funerals. That wouldn't be the first time tennis shoes were worn with a suit. Just don't wear it to an interview. :P
Good luck!