Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I want to ask you, I have a this question in my head and as I partially live in my own magic world it is not total nonsense to me  ::)
So if someone offer you that you will wake up next morning and be teenager again and know for sure, you can transition and have no doubts about who you are. What will you do ?

I thought about it and if I can wake up next morning and be like 13-15 years old and know that I can become girl that easy as it was now, I'll do it, maybe was little sad from what I already done, but most of my live from 13 to 24 was just falsehood, theater for other, not my live.

Now I don't have a ton of room to complain since I'm 20 years old but I often think to myself "What if I started when I was in high school, I could have enjoyed a normal teenage girl life" and I really get depressed that I missed out on stuff like going to prom and whatnot. So yes if I could wake up as a young teenager and have no doubts, I would transition indefinitely.

I immediately clicked "Yes." But then I remembered how awful my teen years were and the discrimination I'd have faced. I think it might be worse than anything I deal with now...

I'd probably switch schools.

Well I guess but I'm not sure how I would be able to, lol

But I do wish I could have lived my teenage years more.

I keep waking up as a teenager anyway - side-effect of estrogen ::).

That depends. Is this a new life or is it erasing my old one? I wouldn't erase all the sex I've had for the world.

2 Padma: I know, I also feel like 16 years old, but papers say something different and I have duties now  ::)

2 Not-so Fat Admin: just erasing that XX years you live wrong (in my case, but you can live good, it is point of that question)

Ah-ha!  The fountain of youth question.

Reminds me of the famous episode of Twilight Zone, called "Kick the Can."

CARE TRIGGERS CAUTION READING


I'd say yes,  but then I was trying to live as a girl at that age with no success and no parental support, in secret and alone.
Then I was gang raped.

I don't think I could live through that again. Well I could but I don't want to think about it.

So I'm not sure.

Sorry, it's coming up to the anniversary and I cannot ignore it.

Quote from: Medusa on February 15, 2013, 04:55:50 AM
2 Not-so Fat Admin: just erasing that XX years you live wrong (in my case, but you can live good, it is point of that question)

I'd have to say no then. Which surprises me a bit. I've led a lousy life by anyone's standards, but it's mine.
Besides, I'm actually glad I was able to navigate sex and dating without the complications of a genital/appearance mismatch. Nothing like spontaneous, conversation-free sex.

I thought of the question as "Your mind magically gets transported back in time into your 15 year old body", or something like that.

Quote from: Cindy James on February 15, 2013, 05:01:31 AM
Sorry, it's coming up to the anniversary and I cannot ignore it.

*Big hug*

This is one of the things that brought me to crisis point last year and made me decide that I couldn't hold off transitioning any longer. I'd watched a video in which a teenage MtF talked about hormone blockers and going on oestrogen... and it triggered me so badly.

I remembered how awful puberty was for me and how much I hated the damage it did to my previously androgynous body. I wished I'd had the opportunity that the kid in the video had: to prevent the wrong puberty and instead go through the right one. She seemed so happy (and grateful) to know that her parents supported her and that she wouldn't have to undo the damage so many of us have had to suffer. It really brought things to a head for me.

So I voted 'of course'.

You know, it's really a hard question. On the one hand, I was SO happy as a kid, and I had NO IDEA that I would hate going through a male puberty so much. I lost so much when all of that finally started happening... I lost my beautiful soprano voice that had gotten me into the all-state honors choir, and I still haven't gotten over that even 13 years later. If I had known that there was even the slightest possibility of me being able to stop that, I would have. But I didn't even know that t-blockers existed at the time. And if I had known then that I would lose my very sense of self, that it was even possible for someone to NOT like their own body... God... that just kills me that I never knew that. And yet I did. I hated my body hair so much, and hated getting so tall, and hated being so stocky and muscular and masculine instead of cute like I always was, and had I known that such a thing was even possible, I would have done this a long time ago, and stopped my puberty as soon as it started.

But on the other hand, I would NOT want to go back to being a teenager again, even if it meant actually enjoying my precious teen years like I was never able to in real life, and spending my entire early adult life actually being myself. Like it or not, although my gender dysphoria has cost me so much in life, sent me spiraling into this terrible depressed state for so many years where I just felt like it was hopeless and cried myself to sleep at night, it has made me who I am. Because I was sad, because I was lonely, because I was going through something so hopeless and painful and downright alienating, I really had to go on a huge mission of self-discovery, and it has taught me so much about the world, made me so much more giving, so much less judgmental, so much more understanding of other people's faults, and so much more compassionate, that I would not trade that kind of emotional growth for anything in the world. And now that I'm finally on the path to being my true self, and am finally free from all of that pain, it's a true blessing to be able to look back and know that I have learned something truly special, something that almost NOBODY gets the chance to learn in such a life-changing way.

If I could just go back to being a teenager, keeping everything that I know now and keeping the entire life circumstances that came afterward, and then immediately transport myself back to my current life at age 27 but now having the body completely feminized, having gone through the correct female puberty, with the proper bone structure and with my unchanged voice still intact, I would in a heartbeat. But I would not go back if it meant becoming a completely different person, and forgetting all that I've learned from this (admittedly terrible) experience. The good Lord put me through this for a reason, and it would feel like betrayal to go back if it meant losing all of the character growth that I had to fight so hard to get in the first place. I would not trade that for anything in the world.

Quote from: Medusa on February 15, 2013, 03:48:21 AM
I want to ask you, I have a this question in my head and as I partially live in my own magic world it is not total nonsense to me  ::)
So if someone offer you that you will wake up next morning and be teenager again and know for sure, you can transition and have no doubts about who you are. What will you do ?

I thought about it and if I can wake up next morning and be like 13-15 years old and know that I can become girl that easy as it was now, I'll do it, maybe was little sad from what I already done, but most of my live from 13 to 24 was just falsehood, theater for other, not my live.

Although my teenage years were bleak and not something I look back on with any sort of happiness, I still would not change the end result of my life. Maybe I could have transitioned at age 12? Would I end up where I am now?? Or would I be dead or who knows what. All things considered, I might have not have been dealt an ideal hand of cards by nature, but I seemed to have overcome it. I would vote to leave the way back machine for studying history instead of living my life over again.

I wouldn't think twice, I'd do it. I could have been normal so long ago

It'd be interesting to see if there's a discrepancy between the votes of those who've already transitioned and those who haven't yet.

I'd be happy to wake up as a teenager if it was in a different family from the one I got. I don't want to be that kid again either.

What was was.  Look to the future. Personally, I feel much better for it.   ;)

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 15, 2013, 07:45:31 AM
It'd be interesting to see if there's a discrepancy between the votes of those who've already transitioned and those who haven't yet.

That would add an interesting dimension.

I checked the Of Course option. There were times in my teenagerhood when I passed and spent time living as male, but that's not the same as transition. I would love to have really been myself for much longer than I actually have been.

At 68 years old, I would love to wake up and be a teenager again :)

But, yes to have the information that is out there now and be a teenager, I would definately transtion and have surgery right away.

Sign me up!

Quote from: Caleb. on February 15, 2013, 04:26:37 AM
I immediately clicked "Yes." But then I remembered how awful my teen years were and the discrimination I'd have faced. I think it might be worse than anything I deal with now...

I'd probably switch schools.

My son did, actually he did so at a point where he was only beginning to identify as a transman, or, I should say, he was working this out at the time he transferred. At least part of the reason for changing schools was that he'd been in what was seen as a lesbian relationship with a fellow student, beginning in his freshman year, which created more than a little bit of attention and ostracization, even though quite a large percentage of the school faculty at his public school were openly gay or lesbian.

I went to do something in the middle of writing this. I did vote Of Course almost instantly, but when away from the keyboard I started to have second, third and other thoughts, probably overcomplicating the question. As Sarah said, though, given my age and the distress this has caused, if I could do it again, and have support and current levels of information, there's little doubt I would chose that. Partly because I see that my son, despite some current distress, is likely to have a much more full life for recognizing and facing the head on, rather than in the back-and-forth way I did.

My main concerns were ones of timing. I'm assuming that my history and actions up to this date would remain unchanged, so I would need to find some way of being their for my children, since I assume the old me would no longer exist. Too much thinking for an unachievable, speculative thought experiment, though?

Considering being a teenager means being under 18 years old, I'll say no because of living in Finland.

If you're under 18 and want to start transitioning, you're basically thrown into youth mental health system to find out if it's just a phase or whatever but obviously you won't get any hormone blockers to stop the birth sex changes. I don't know if the consent of parents can help at the situation at all.

I know some people online who have waited till they're 18 to start their transition process because it's next to impossible to get on hormones or surgeries while under 18.

Kinda makes me happy I was 21 when I started.

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 15, 2013, 07:45:31 AM
It'd be interesting to see if there's a discrepancy between the votes of those who've already transitioned and those who haven't yet.

I haven't transitioned yet.

I don't think I would go back to transition in high school.  I wouldn't have the worldview that I have now and I'm grateful that I missed out on the male experience of puberty at that age when immaturity reigns.  I remember heavily disliking high school guys [and girls] because of how their minds seemed to revolve around sex and alcohol and just generally being idiots.  I couldn't grasp it and I still don't just like I never grasped what girls liked such as primping and wearing make up and doing girl chatter (yeah, I did it, but how else was I supposed to get a guy, or girl?).   High school students as a whole confused me and I'd rather never relive that experience ever again.  It didn't help that I went to three different high schools though it just proved to me that high school boys are the same in Cali, Virginia, and Mississippi. 

Anyway, not transitioning in high school has given me a better perspective on my life and exactly what I want from it.  I wouldn't want to go back and do it because I don't want to change who I am and transitioning then would have inevitably brought out a different person.

My elementary schools day were misserable but my teen years were EPIC...and more important I would not give up my children for anything what so ever...so my vote was "never"

So I wake up and poof I'm 13 and I get to be all the me that I was before with all my experiences memories etc.

Hmm do I get to be female too?

Well first up I suppose I can't walk around in just a shirt now, as that would really not amuse my 18 year old son, or maybe it would and that might be the problem :) I wonder what he would think of having a little sister?

Would the wife get in trouble having sex with a minor? Wait we are married, has to be ok right? But, would she have any interest in a 13 year old girl? Would I want her to?

This would sure screw up my disability pension. Would I be a minor dependent of myself now? Can I still keep my credit card? Dang I finally just got my birth certificate sorted out too. I suppose I'd need my wife's permission to come here now as well.

I suppose I might like to go back to high school. No, I tried to get grade 10 math 5 times, I am not trying for a 6th time (yes people I don't have it after 5 tries :)). Mental block I guess.

I wonder what my mom would think about it. I'd become her youngest grand kid sort of :)

Well, I'm 18, but if I could transition at 13, before all of my icky boy puberty kicked in, I would be ecstatic. I might even reconsider my decision to not go to prom if I did, but, alas, it won't happen, so I'd best not get my hopes up.  :P

One of the perks to transitioning a little late; I can make fun of people shorter than me. ^.^

But if I was given the opportunity to transition early, I wouldn't want it to be too early, like around 12. Because then I wouldn't be able to have kids.

Kia Ora,

No ! I'm happy with my 'whole' life experience and have nothing to complain about post transition...And if I had transitioned in my teenage years there wouldn't have been much different on the HRT front...So I'm happy with the outcome and happy with life as a whole...

BTW I started HRT mid forties-15 years ago...

But an interesting question all the same....

Metta Zenda :)

It's something that has frustrated me a lot, dealing with this. If I had known I could become a girl way back then, when I had hair and wasn't as developed as I am now. I'd happily wake up as a teenager again to do a whole lot of things differently.

Though I'd be happier to suddenly wake up as a real woman more than anything =P

If I had been asked this question say, three years ago, I would have answered OH GOD YES!

But not now, everything has changed. I could have never dreamed I would be this happy with my life, there's no way I'd give it all up - all the crap I had to deal with to get to this point has been worth it. I'm glad I kept fighting even though at the time I was not convinced there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

i think it would come down to if you could handle the other people your age and what they say and how they would treat you
vs
having a smoother transition

what do i know tho..