Today I'm 2 years on T and I still can't pass. I just got ma'med at a pizza place. I came so close to correcting her but again got scared. I always regret it when I don't speak up. I can't seem to get the courage to speak up. 2 years on T and I'm still being seen as female? Is this b/c my dosage is not in the high male range? I'm in the normal male range now.
Anyone 2 years or longer on T and still not passing?
Do you know how unbelievable frustrating it is to be on T for that long and still get ma'm?
My Sevan has been on T a little over 3 years and it is just the last couple months that I am starting to see 'man'.
Transition is slow, but it will eventually end with you looking like the man you are. It can take a frustratingly long time, I know. But it is worth it in the long run.
You seem obsessed with having the "right" amount of testosterone. Instead of focussing on that, have you tried working on your clothes and general presentation? On the phone, try correcting the other person to sir. You probably won't want to but try it. People aren't generally going to zoom in on it as much as one might think.
A little before two years was when things were changing for me and I had high/normal T levels.
I'm sorry it's taking so long. I think most people pass at least voice-wise pretty early on T, but a lot of us take much longer to look like a "normal" male. I'm over a year in and I still occasionally get ma'amed if I'm not talking. That is heavily influenced by how I dress. My father and half brother have soft skin and not a ton of facial/body hair though, and they're cis and in their sixties and forties.
I still get ma'am-ed on the phone, and I just say, it's SIR. Do you ever watch undercover boss? The boss of DirectTV (or was it DISH? LOL) was undercover and had to work in their call center. His first call he said, sorry about that, Sir, and the woman said, It's MA'AM. He was mortified. So it happens to others as wall. I work with a woman who has an androgynous name. I had never met her, but had only talked to her on the phone. After hearing the androgynous voice and the androgynous name, I thought she was male. Nope, cis-female.
But anyway, I also had a weird thing with some hired workers who I caught calling me 'she' to each other, and that was after 4 years on T and I pass 100%. Not sure what their deal was, but they weren't talking to me and I was far enough away from them so I just pretended I didn't hear.
But it sucks more for us because we want to pass as our gender and it's horrid to be called the wrong gender. It's easier to laugh it off now that I am getting close to the 5 year mark on T.
Got misgendered today in person and I haven't shaved my face in a few weeks.
It might take you awhile to get where you want to be. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember you saying something about getting your levels checked and going on injections. It takes time and a steady dosing schedule helps.
Are you documenting your changes at all? If so it might help to compare a photo of you pre T to a resent one. Changes happen slowly over such a long period of time that you won't see them just looking in the mirror daily.
Transition is slow, but it will eventually end with you looking like the man you are.[/b]
I hope so... real soon.
Quote from: Frank on February 15, 2013, 07:12:54 PM
You seem obsessed with having the "right" amount of testosterone. Instead of focussing on that, have you tried working on your clothes and general presentation? On the phone, try correcting the other person to sir. You probably won't want to but try it. People aren't generally going to zoom in on it as much as one might think.
I was getting sir from people for awhile then all of a sudden she calls me Ma'm and that was a shocker to me. It was at the tip of my tongue to correct her, and I didn't. I always regret it when I don't correct people. But on the phone I do correct people b/c I'm teling them my name. They just say sorry, bad connection on my end. But that isn't true. My voice is still
EXTREMELY high.
I was dress in all male clothing. I don't know what she saw that was female. My mom said it could be my long hair. But I was passing fine with my long hair before. Why now all of a sudden I'm getting female???
Quote from: Caleb. on February 15, 2013, 07:25:44 PM
I feel you here, I am 10 months on T and don't pass (or, rarely pass...which is better than before). I feel like I am behind all the other guys, so I can only imagine how you're feeling.
I've started correcting people, and it is scary and stressful. But it may make you feel better...it can help me sometimes, even though it still hurts to be misgendered.
I'm sorry your not passing very well. I was that way 10 months on T too and felt way behind all the other guys as well. I still feel very behind being 2 years and not passing and my voice still being so freak'n high. I hope you start passing better soon.
Quote from: Felix on February 16, 2013, 09:14:17 AM
I'm sorry it's taking so long. I think most people pass at least voice-wise pretty early on T, but a lot of us take much longer to look like a "normal" male. I'm over a year in and I still occasionally get ma'amed if I'm not talking. That is heavily influenced by how I dress. My father and half brother have soft skin and not a ton of facial/body hair though, and they're cis and in their sixties and forties.
Sorry you still get the occasional ma'm
My voice is still vet high. I think I sound like a girl. No wonder why I can't pass over the phone. I really do sound like a girl. T hasn't changed my voice at all. Well, maybe only a tad.
Quote from: sneakersjay on February 16, 2013, 11:00:12 AM
I still get ma'am-ed on the phone, and I just say, it's SIR. Do you ever watch undercover boss? The boss of DirectTV (or was it DISH? LOL) was undercover and had to work in their call center. His first call he said, sorry about that, Sir, and the woman said, It's MA'AM. He was mortified. So it happens to others as wall. I work with a woman who has an androgynous name. I had never met her, but had only talked to her on the phone. After hearing the androgynous voice and the androgynous name, I thought she was male. Nope, cis-female.
But anyway, I also had a weird thing with some hired workers who I caught calling me 'she' to each other, and that was after 4 years on T and I pass 100%. Not sure what their deal was, but they weren't talking to me and I was far enough away from them so I just pretended I didn't hear.
But it sucks more for us because we want to pass as our gender and it's horrid to be called the wrong gender. It's easier to laugh it off now that I am getting close to the 5 year mark on T.
Sorry you get ma'med on the phone too and that people you worked with were calling you she after 4 years on T. I wonder why they were doing that?
Nope, never watched undercover boss.
Quote from: Nygeel on February 16, 2013, 04:00:10 PM
Got misgendered today in person and I haven't shaved my face in a few weeks.
Really? I'm sorry. Did you correct the person?
Quote from: Simon on February 16, 2013, 04:25:19 PM
It might take you awhile to get where you want to be. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember you saying something about getting your levels checked and going on injections. It takes time and a steady dosing schedule helps.
Are you documenting your changes at all? If so it might help to compare a photo of you pre T to a resent one. Changes happen slowly over such a long period of time that you won't see them just looking in the mirror daily.
I've been back on shots since Dec 17th. My levels are in the normal male range. The doctor did say she could raise my levels higher, but I thought about it, and I don't want more acne so I'm staying at the dose I'm on now. As long as the dose I'm on now will still masculize me I'm okay with this dosage.
The life is very unfair : some trans pass without treatment, others do not pass with. We are all very different physically on the basis, you should not forget that. The necessary time to pass is also very variable according to the persons.
I pass well with my beard and my hair rather long, but if I remove my beard and what I cut myself the very short hair, I can hear again "Hey Miss". It is necessary to adapt itself with look.:/(I'm on T since 19 months).
But nevertheless I'm lucky because I have a great beard!
If you still don't pass, it could be that your taking the T slower than others. You can do things to pass while yo wait for the rest of the changes though. Have you tried mimicking? Find a male friend who has a similar pitch to you and ask him if you can record him just talking for about thirty minutes. Then every night when you have time, listen to the recording and mimic his tone. It's not just pitch that makes the difference between and male and a female voice. There are other things at play as well, one of the hardest ones to master is ending your sentence on a lower pitch than what you began with. Females tend to answer in a higher pitch so it sounds more excited or like a question, but men usually end on a monotone or a bit lower.
Once you can mimic that friend, find someone with a slightly lower voice and rinse and repeat. Eventually you'll be able to lower your voice to a deeper male tone. I have problems with my voice as well, so I understand the frustration.
You should also work on your subtle non-verbal behavior:
Do you sit like a man?
Do you have a firm handshake?
Do you hold your shoulders back and puff out your chest?
Do you walk with an extended stride?
Do you allow your arms to move naturally when you walk or do you hold them tight to your body?
Do you let your shoulders drop and lift with your stride or do you hold them level?
Do you stand with your legs shoulder width apart with even weight on each foot?
Do you catch the door for ladies?
Do you call other males "Man, dude, etc"?
All these things and many others are what will be your keys to passing. You can't be on T and pass as your correct gender by acting like a female. It's on of our disadvantages, because we've been subtly trained all our lives to act female, so we need to relearn our subtle non-verbal behaviors as a man.
hey Dominick -
do you work out at all?
Working out can you give you a lot of confidence, and confidence can you make pass better. So much of how other people react to us is how we project ourselves. Also, if you have a bit of definition it might help with passing as well.
I really dont know what to say cause I have no idea how you look like or anything.
all I know is its fustrating to be misgendered also after a long time.
as other people have mention its not all about homones either, other fact also pays something. even when homones do help alot of the chance to pass.
I've really thought that acting more feminine might actually help with getting read as male. In many situations it does.
Quote from: Nygeel on February 17, 2013, 02:53:03 PM
I've really thought that acting more feminine might actually help with getting read as male. In many situations it does.
Because the contrast makes people connect you as feminine guy instead of masculine female?
Quote from: spacerace on February 17, 2013, 03:27:25 PM
Because the contrast makes people connect you as feminine guy instead of masculine female?
Correct. With who I am physically, I'm not the most manly man in terms of how I look and the way I act doesn't seem like I'm going to gut a fish and chop down a tree. And a lot of times when somebody see "female looking and acts masculine must be butch" they would be thrown off by that person acting feminine.
I totally recognize my own feeling in Nygeel's words.
I can relate to what Nygeel is saying too. Acting masculine just gets me read as a butch lesbian. It might just be a comfort thing for me, I'm not masculine by nature so I always had to force it and I was overthinking everything I did and said - "would a guy sit like this? would a guy say that? how would a guy react to this?"
Now I'm just me without giving it much thought and I've established myself as the fabulous gay friend of many :D
The only advice I can give is to not be afraid of correcting people - whenever it happens to me I just very casually say something like "I'm a guy actually, but don't worry about it happens to me all the time" - I usually get one of two reactions: they either apologise and don't mention it again or they give me some sort of explanation, those are always fun. I've had everything from "oh I'm sorry....it's just that you have such smooth skin for a guy!" to "I admit I wasn't sure either way, but your shoes swung me to female, sorry about that!"
For a few weeks after that last one I stopped wearing the shoes in question, but then I thought screw it, they're comfy, I don't care. The guy who made that comment is now a friend and he refers to them as my "gay shoes" xD
Quote from: Nygeel on February 17, 2013, 03:33:55 PM
Correct. With who I am physically, I'm not the most manly man in terms of how I look and the way I act doesn't seem like I'm going to gut a fish and chop down a tree.
You don't need to gut the fish...just chop down the tree with the whole herring.
When I started T, I decided to just be myself and not worry about how people read me. I did worry, of course--but I kept on being myself, no matter what. Some of that devil-may-care bravado must have done the trick--I certainly think it helped. But it must have been part of the whole package.
I had certain advantages. I was older and more seasoned than Dominick. I started on a large dose right away. And my innards were pretty much shut down; I had already reached menopause. Not much estrogen for the T to fight against. Not to mention that I'm relatively tall for an FTM.
I think that height is a much more important factor than most people realize; if you're under five feet, you might just need more time to acquire masculine features and characteristics that will balance out the height disadvantage. I'm about 5' 7", and I also think that my height helps to sort of stretch out my slightly prominent hips and make them seem narrower--an optical illusion. My very short buddy, who has noticeable facial hair, is three and a half years on T and still gets misread regularly enough for it to be frustrating. He does have some obvious "feminine" mannerisms, but I think his height and his body proportions are the deciding factors.
Quote from: Arch on February 17, 2013, 07:19:33 PM
I think that height is a much more important factor than most people realize; if you're under five feet, you might just need more time to acquire masculine features and characteristics that will balance out the height disadvantage. I'm about 5' 7", and I also think that my height helps to sort of stretch out my slightly prominent hips and make them seem narrower--an optical illusion.
I agree with Arch and I witnessed it first hand. I used to work in a Panera Bread and an older transguy would come in often with his wife. There wasn't much that really pointed him out except the sparse peach fuzz looking long facial hair (it looked strange on a man with a head full of grey/white hair) and his butt. He had a boo-tay. He was a shorter fella and it was just unfortunate that his rump was where it seemed 80% of his fat went to.
Not saying your height/weight proportion is comparable, just saying that there are other factors that people single out besides voice, facial hair, male hairline, etc.
On the short thing ... I notice that other guys (I'm assuming who were born male) who are around my height (5'3") almost always have facial hair – usually either a full beard, a goat tee or at least a few days worth of stubble. I think it's a thing with short guys that they do to either prevent being seen as teenage boys, or less than manly-men to people who are stuck on thinking that men should be tall. I saw these two guys in Walmart yesterday and they both were no taller than me and both of them have the whole "chin strap" thing going on.
I'd totally rather be read as a femme guy than a masculine female. Even though I'm not really femme but I do have a thing for fashion and I definitely push the boundaries there so I think that's my femme side and not so much mannerisms or the way I talk or anything.
Dominick - somewhere you gotta gain some confidence, dude. Have you tried working out yet? That's something you can do even in the confines of your own room with no one watching you by doing exercises that use your own body weight. The short thing, you can't get around, but hey, maybe when you can grow more facial hair you can try different things out with that? And Arch had a good point too, just be yourself, no matter what. If you're still trying to figure out why people are misgendering you, maybe get a friend or something video tape you interacting in your normal manner with someone else (don't put on an act) and maybe you could spot something (or upload it and have everyone else take look)?
Some of you have had some really good things to say-- and you know I am thinking that some of this is attitude. I am not putting up with misgendering some much. I mean if it is one "ma'am" at the end there isn't much I can do. I let them know, that they aren't correct very nicely. I am not at all nasty about it. (I don't really let them go on about apologizing saying something like "I get that a lot". )
Let me assure you that I don't pass in the slightest. I've had some VERY great experiences with that lately that I am asserting my male identity and people are picking up on it.
Males come in all different sizes and shapes and effeminent males are more common than people imagine.
--Jay
I don't know about the height thing. I get read as male about 85-90% of the time and I'm only 5'1.
Sometimes I think being a short guy has its advantages in regards to our other "tells". I've had people notice my small hands before and they just chalk it up to the fact I'm all-around shorter and smaller than average. If I were a taller guy with tiny hands that might actually be more of a giveaway. At least to the general cis public.
Regarding the tall thing....or hell even passing in general...I think a lot of it depends on the people you're around. I'm only 5'2 so if I'm surrounded by 6 foot men who look like they bench press cars I will stick out like a sore thumb and am much more likely to be read as female.
In my college class though, I'm not particularly short. There's one other guy who is the same height and build as me and the rest are mostly only a couple of inches taller at best. My baby face and patchy facial hair blends in well with the teenage crowd.
That's my theory anyway for why my pass rate at college is like 95% and out in the real world it's more like 40-50%
I read in there you had long hair..
Not to be an ahole but I know cisguys with full beards that still get misgendered with long hair,
how can you even expect too be gendered correctly if you have long hair and testosterone hasn't done much on you yet?
Some things are just obvious dude.
If you love long hair, that's awesome. Keep it that way.
But don't expect too pass, even after t gives you a bunch of changes.
Someone had too say it.
(Now I'm gonna wait for one of you too come at me saying ''BUT MEN CAN HAVE LONG HAIR!! OMG OMG!)
Sorry you're not passing consistently Dominick. I too have a terrible time passing, though I know our situations are somewhat different as I've not started T yet (I'm in Britain and doing my Real Life Experience to qualify to get T on the NHS). I can imagine it must be very frustrating to have been on T for two years and still not be passing all the time. I can empathise though with some of the awkward social situations you find yourself in.
I'm totally incompetent at dealing with this stuff myself, lol, so I'm the last person qualified to give advice, though I suppose I can list some of the things that help me get past the frustration and upset when I don't pass.
1. I am what gender I feel I am, and no one else gets to decide that for me, least of all someone whom I'm going to encounter for three seconds at a shop counter or for a five minute taxi ride. Of course, such a large part of many people's need to transition is a need to be perceived socially, day-to-day as the gender we are. But it can be something of a comfort, while we're waiting for T, or waiting for T to take its full effect, to remind ourselves that the people who misgender folks by accident are more often than not people you encounter 'in passing' (pardon the pun), and their understanding and assessment of your gender is bound to be simplistic - try not to let it mean too much to you, because they don't know you. It does get a bit much when it's happened several times in a day and it inevitably begins to upset you, but at the end of the day, at home in my flat listening to Muddy Waters and writing and watching 'Dr. G. Medical Examiner,' I'm a man - that's the thing that means the most.
Of course you should only begin correcting people when you feel ready, and in situations where you deem it safe, but I must admit I do nearly always correct people when they misgender me - the only times I don't are when I'm sick to the back teeth of doing it that day, or when I've let someone know my gender once and they continually and wilfully/thoughtlessly misgender me - then I just let them get on with it.
The benefits and perils of correcting are many, lol. If you've achieved a certain level of androgyny already through T, hopefully you shouldn't have many people even bat an eyelid if you politely let them know, 'Actually, it's "Sir."' Of course, having to do this in itself is awkward, but it can be confidence-building. I can only speak from my own experience as someone who doesn't yet pass at all, really, and have encountered a lot of disbelief and even the odd argument. One person once called me 'She,' and when I said, 'Actually, it's "he,"' she said, 'Are you sure?' What?! Why? How? Who even... Why would I even say I was a boy if I wasn't, unless I was Mulan? Some days correcting people makes me feel better about myself, and other days it just adds to the pile of social awkwardnesses that my trans-ness has created. Other days I manage to see at as an inevitable consequence of this condition I have. I guess you've got to weigh this against the upset of letting people believe you're a gender you're not, and think about which is the better option. Of course, this is only temporary. When you start to get more changes from T, you'll have to worry about it less and less.
2. Cis people don't always 'pass'. I was thinking about this the other day, and realised that my cis brother, who in my eyes has always been unmistakably male, was often misgendered right into his mid-teens. I know some guys get changes on T really fast, but it has to be something of an achievement that you're passing some of the time after 2 years' exposure to testosterone, when my brother wasn't always passing 4 or 5 years into puberty. Hopefully this indicates you're sort of on-track, or even ahead of, the timescale for male pubescent changes, and that your changes will continue to progess, perhaps quite slowly, but steadily, and one day you will undoubtedly pass consistently.
3. It will get better. Lord knows I'm impatient to finally be seen as the man I am. But the wait is going to be worth the pay-off. I wish you all the very best :)
Quote from: Jayr on February 18, 2013, 04:45:49 PM
I read in there you had long hair..
Not to be an ahole but I know cisguys with full beards that still get misgendered with long hair,
how can you even expect too be gendered correctly if you have long hair and testosterone hasn't done much on you yet?
Some things are just obvious dude.
If you love long hair, that's awesome. Keep it that way.
But don't expect too pass, even after t gives you a bunch of changes.
Someone had too say it.
(Now I'm gonna wait for one of you too come at me saying ''BUT MEN CAN HAVE LONG HAIR!! OMG OMG!)
Sorry but I'm going to side with Jayr on this one. I know many guys with long hair. I think it is cool, same with earrings in each ear and androgynous shirts and so on. But I think with us trans guys, if you want to be read male, you have just got to look at everything you do and say
"does that read male"? I don't think anyone reads me (pre-T but not for long) as male ever, but they are confused aplenty. And I get ma'amed less when I have just had a hair cut (got a fade).
If I let it go more than a week or so.
And yes, cis men have long hair, trans men have long hair, etc etc. But when people are reading you they cluster things together. A lot of cis guys would NOT care if they are read as female. But we care a whole bunch.
If you don't care so much, or you get read as male with long hair, then that's great. But that won't apply to all of us. I'm speaking to someone who has trouble passing.
--Jay
I am friends with the man who posted this and I accompany him places so I see how well people see him as a man:
I feel you here, I am 10 months on T and don't pass (or, rarely pass...which is better than before). I feel like I am behind all the other guys, so I can only imagine how you're feeling.
I've started correcting people, and it is scary and stressful. But it may make you feel better...it can help me sometimes, even though it still hurts to be misgendered.
Caleb, you should have mentioned that once you made the decision to start correcting people you did not have to do it that much anymore. I noticed that in his case it was an overnight shift from lots of being called ma'am and us together being called Ladies to very few of these sorts of things. People seem confused now about if he is a man or a woman. And the looks did not change overnight: it was because you finally valued yourself enough to tell people that you are a man and realize you have the right to correct them when they get it wrong.
A few other posters have said that if you are having trouble passing you should get short haircuts. For some people this does not work and long hair actually makes the male looks come out more. Because the head and skull are sometimes very round......in my advice I say just avoid the bangs in the long hair and make sure if it is longer in the front and top that it is shaggier in the back.
It also is not about wearing certain types of clothes though you don't want women's clothes. It is about wearing clothes that fit you well and suit your body. (Caleb just said it's okay to tell people this) he's been losing weight but the extra weight is making it harder to pass as well because it is hard to find clothes that not only fit but are also clothes he likes. So he is wearing clothes he does not like so much until the weight is off and he can try passing in clothes that suit his personal style better.
Quote from: Jayr on February 18, 2013, 04:45:49 PM
I read in there you had long hair..
Not to be an ahole but I know cisguys with full beards that still get misgendered with long hair,
how can you even expect too be gendered correctly if you have long hair and testosterone hasn't done much on you yet?
Some things are just obvious dude.
If you love long hair, that's awesome. Keep it that way.
But don't expect too pass, even after t gives you a bunch of changes.
Someone had too say it.
(Now I'm gonna wait for one of you too come at me saying ''BUT MEN CAN HAVE LONG HAIR!! OMG OMG!)
In all the pics he's posted it didn't look like he had long hair at all, so I don't think the hair card can be pulled unless he's really grown it out or something.
Facial hair is a huge component. Honestly, if I shaved my face I'd get misgendered way more often than I do without shaving.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on February 18, 2013, 09:12:43 PM
In all the pics he's posted it didn't look like he had long hair at all, so I don't think the hair card can be pulled unless he's really grown it out or something.
From what I remember he passed in all his photos. That tells me that there's got to be some majorly female mannerisms going on, or something. And I also half remember stuff about his dosage, if it's not been in the male range then should he really be thinking of it as "2 years on T"?
Quote from: insideontheoutside on February 18, 2013, 09:12:43 PM
In all the pics he's posted it didn't look like he had long hair at all, so I don't think the hair card can be pulled unless he's really grown it out or something.
I've never seen pictures of him; I'm just going from what he wrote.
He said he had long hair, and even his mom pointed out that was probably why he didn't pass.
Clive: I agree totally with this. Correcting people (very politely and calmly) has huge effects on my self confidence. It is surprising how many people are just very cool with this and go "oh sorry". I'm amazed and happy at how well it works for me.
--Jay
Quote from: Jayr on February 18, 2013, 11:11:55 PM
I've never seen pictures of him; I'm just going from what he wrote.
He said he had long hair, and even his mom pointed out that was probably why he didn't pass.
I've never seen the pics either, always removed before I get the chance, I do have to say though, we have to try a little bit harder, so going out of your way to do something stereotypically female probably isn't the best way to go about being read as male, my bioboy friends with long hair get misgendered all the time, the difference between them and me is, they don't care about it when it happens.
Quote from: Geek on February 19, 2013, 01:13:43 AM
... my bioboy friends with long hair get misgendered all the time, the difference between them and me is, they don't care about it when it happens.
That I think is the key. If you have long hair, correct people, and don't let effect you otherwise. That is what "normal" guys with long hair do.
I've experimented with doing this since I do rock longish hair. Sometimes I'll just chuckle and say, "I'm not female" and then follow it up with, "it's the hair, right?" You don't have to correct people in a mean way or even a serious way, but the confidence has to be there. I've also told people that I have a "hormonal disorder", that usually quiets them up about it. But no matter what it is I decide to say, I try to be as confident about it as possible.
If you're at all questionable to the build of society as to what gender you are, then you have to accept that some people will see you one way and some people may not. The way you handle that makes all the difference.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on February 19, 2013, 01:39:18 PM
I've also told people that I have a "hormonal disorder", that usually quiets them up about it. But no matter what it is I decide to say, I try to be as confident about it as possible.
Sounds like I might be borrowing this one. We all have hormone disorders here.
--Jay
Thanks guys for all the tips. And I'm sorry that some of you guys on and off T still have a hard time passing also. I hope you guys start passing soon.
I just met with a guy today that is trans and I asked him what is it that gets me ms-genered, and he couldn't see how I got ms-gendered. He said I have a male presences and that I look masculine. I think he said it might be my height, but that's the only thing he said. I said maybe my long hair, but he seemed like the long hair shouldn't of got'n me ms-gendered b/c I look masculine enough to pass and it didn't matter that I had long hair.
Quote from: AlexanderC on February 18, 2013, 09:30:54 PM
From what I remember he passed in all his photos. That tells me that there's got to be some majorly female mannerisms going on, or something. And I also half remember stuff about his dosage, if it's not been in the male range then should he really be thinking of it as "2 years on T"?
The trans guy I met with today did not say I have any feminine mannerism to me. I asked him if there was sometime about me that gets me ms-gendered and the height thing was the only thing he could think of that would have got''n me ms-gendered. He said I had a male presence.
Yeah except most people will tell you what you want to hear, regardless if it's true or not :/
Quote from: aleon515 on February 19, 2013, 02:14:55 PM
Sounds like I might be borrowing this one. We all have hormone disorders here.
--Jay
Hey, it's not exactly a lie :3
Getting misgendered sucks. Two years of doing something to masculinize yourself and still getting misgendered sucks even more. But you have to change your confidence, like others have been saying. Don't be afraid- you have nothing to prove to anybody. In all likelihood you'll never see them again, so correct them. Even if you will see them again, correct them. It'll give you the ego boost you need to help with passing, which will further boost your ego in a good cycle. You've got this.
I feel you on the height issue. Right now I'm lucky because I'm still a kid, but not for long. It's good that you look masculine with long hair- speaking of hair, how's your facial forest? The short guys I know are desperate to grow a beard because, well, girls don't have full beards- this isn't Skyrim :P
Hope you start passing more soon. That has to be pretty rough.
Quote from: Liminal Stranger on February 19, 2013, 11:27:09 PM
Hey, it's not exactly a lie :3
Getting misgendered sucks. Two years of doing something to masculinize yourself and still getting misgendered sucks even more. But you have to change your confidence, like others have been saying. Don't be afraid- you have nothing to prove to anybody. In all likelihood you'll never see them again, so correct them. Even if you will see them again, correct them. It'll give you the ego boost you need to help with passing, which will further boost your ego in a good cycle. You've got this.
I feel you on the height issue. Right now I'm lucky because I'm still a kid, but not for long. It's good that you look masculine with long hair- speaking of hair, how's your facial forest? The short guys I know are desperate to grow a beard because, well, girls don't have full beards- this isn't Skyrim :P
Hope you start passing more soon. That has to be pretty rough.
I'm gonna try my hardest to correct them next time. I'm hoping there won't have to be a next time. But I always regret it when I don't correct people.
speaking of hair, how's your facial forest?It's not great. Noticeable, but not great yet. I hope it comes in darker soon and fills in on the other side.
Hope you start passing more soon. That has to be pretty roughThanks. It is.
Quote from: Geek on February 19, 2013, 06:32:46 PM
Yeah except most people will tell you what you want to hear, regardless if it's true or not :/
True.
I'd up the dosage if your voice hasn't changed significantly in two years. Screw the acne, puberty is a gauntlet to be run, and dragging it out just doesn't make sense. (I think my heavy acne only lasted a year and a half or so BTW, so even on a high dose eventually the problem goes away.)
I met someone recently who de-transitioned because of medical issues that would prevent them having surgery. They clearly hadn't been a high enough dose as I only had their word that they'd been on T for a couple years. Most of the hair just thinned back to the female norm. There was no voice change, and they told me no change to clitoral size. My voice changed within a few months of starting, and clitoral growth took off not long after. All the guys I knew back in those days had similar results to me. Years after I finished I ran into a guy in your boat, and on my advice he upped his dosage and then everything started to happen finally.
Get that voice cracking sir, and things will improve :)
Shortman
Quote from: Shortman on February 26, 2013, 05:32:53 PM
I'd up the dosage if your voice hasn't changed significantly in two years. Screw the acne, puberty is a gauntlet to be run, and dragging it out just doesn't make sense. (I think my heavy acne only lasted a year and a half or so BTW, so even on a high dose eventually the problem goes away.)
I met someone recently who de-transitioned because of medical issues that would prevent them having surgery. They clearly hadn't been a high enough dose as I only had their word that they'd been on T for a couple years. Most of the hair just thinned back to the female norm. There was no voice change, and they told me no change to clitoral size. My voice changed within a few months of starting, and clitoral growth took off not long after. All the guys I knew back in those days had similar results to me. Years after I finished I ran into a guy in your boat, and on my advice he upped his dosage and then everything started to happen finally.
Get that voice cracking sir, and things will improve :)
Shortman
There's a couple reason why I don't want to up my dosage: Acne, loosing my hair faster, and the pain of a bigger needle for the injection. I just hope eventually my voice will get deeper. Though, it hasn't changed in over a year.
Everyone is telling me different things. I'm hoping if I stay on this dosage I'll still get changes. Just wish my voice would change. If it hasn't changed in over a year, my voice is probably done changing, right?
"and the pain of a bigger needle for the injection."
I'm with you on that one, Dominick....... <passes out on floor>
I kinda understand what you're saying. I haven't started T yet, but I pass most of the time. I get the occasional ma'am. I don't like confronting people when they mess up and use the wrong pronouns. So I let my girlfriend give me a hair cut to take away some of my femininity. My hair wasn't long, but the way I had it, it was enough to make it believable that I'm a girl. Doing little things to change your appearance helps a lot.
Quote from: Dominick_81 on February 27, 2013, 12:16:16 PM
There's a couple reason why I don't want to up my dosage: Acne, loosing my hair faster, and the pain of a bigger needle for the injection. I just hope eventually my voice will get deeper. Though, it hasn't changed in over a year.
Everyone is telling me different things. I'm hoping if I stay on this dosage I'll still get changes. Just wish my voice would change. If it hasn't changed in over a year, my voice is probably done changing, right?
You need a bigger needle when you up the dose?
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on February 27, 2013, 12:20:59 PM
"and the pain of a bigger needle for the injection."
I'm with you on that one, Dominick....... <passes out on floor>
Yeah, injections suck.
Quote from: lawliver on February 27, 2013, 12:38:19 PM
I kinda understand what you're saying. I haven't started T yet, but I pass most of the time. I get the occasional ma'am. I don't like confronting people when they mess up and use the wrong pronouns. So I let my girlfriend give me a hair cut to take away some of my femininity. My hair wasn't long, but the way I had it, it was enough to make it believable that I'm a girl. Doing little things to change your appearance helps a lot.
That's great that you pass most of the time, especially not on T.
Knock on wood, I haven't got'n ms-gendered with my short hair before, that I can recall. So yeah, I agree, little changes to your appearance can help.
Quote from: Darrin Scott on February 27, 2013, 12:45:10 PM
You need a bigger needle when you up the dose?
I'm not actually sure. I'm assuming if your getting a higher dosage you would need a bigger needle...?
Quote from: Dominick_81 on February 27, 2013, 12:54:16 PMI'm not actually sure. I'm assuming if your getting a higher dosage you would need a bigger needle...?
I don't think that's true. I think you just fill the syringe with more T if the dosage is higher and then just inject it. It probably just takes longer.
Quote from: Darrin Scott on February 27, 2013, 01:52:37 PM
I don't think that's true. I think you just fill the syringe with more T if the dosage is higher and then just inject it. It probably just takes longer.
Oh, I see.
I've avoided the injections myself, not jsut because I don't feel I need it since i'm at the high end of the normal male range but also because there's just no way I could self inject. I can watch my blood being taken for blood work and I can give other's, both people and animals, injections without flinching but I know I wouldn't be able to stick it in myself, there's just something far too unnatural about it. So i'm in the same boat as you Dominick, i'm hoping my voice begins to drop without me having to switch from gel to needle.