Okay, I want to save money, so I decided to buy clothing at thrift stores instead of Sears. In Sears, there's so much anonymity since it's a big store and people aren't around.
On the other hand, thrift stores are tiny and personal! I went to one today, and some other girls walked in at the EXACT SAME TIME! :icon_chainsaw:
Needless to say, I chickened out and bolted, despite the employee being the most bubbly and delightful lady in the world, even down to the squeaky voice.
Anywho, I'm rambling, so my point is that I need tips on how to be brave in thrift stores. :icon_nervious:
Are you out to any girls? Ask them about coming along, so then people will think that they dragged you in there! Plus, you can get their opinion about what would look good.
I am, but then how am I supposed to try anything on? It will be so obvious if I were to go into a fitting room with her. Plus, she's always busy. :(
You just got to learn to tune people out. Imagine your the only one in there shopping. You could also wear headphones and just focus on the music. Music helped me through nervousness when started presenting as myself. :)
Let's think about this a minute. Women go into thrift stores and buy clothes for their guys, and no one says a word. So why would it be any different for an MtF, in boy mode, to buy things for 'their girl'. OK, so 'their girl' is really themselves, but no one knows that.
Thrift stores are in the business of making money, and I have never seen anyone say anything to some one who was buying opposite gender clothing.
Quote from: Heather on February 20, 2013, 05:05:46 PM
You just got to learn to tune people out. Imagine your the only one in there shopping. You could also wear headphones and just focus on the music. Music helped me through nervousness when started presenting as myself. :)
Alright, but if the aforementioned lady talks to me, what do I do? :icon_nervious:
Quote from: Ms. OBrien VT on February 20, 2013, 05:14:56 PM
Let's think about this a minute. Women go into thrift stores and buy clothes for their guys, and no one says a word. So why would it be any different for an MtF, in boy mode, to buy things for 'their girl'. OK, so 'their girl' is really themselves, but no one knows that.
Thrift stores are in the business of making money, and I have never seen anyone say anything to some one who was buying opposite gender clothing.
Well, I can't say that I'm buying something for my sister or something, because I have to try the stuff on. It's just so... GRAH! :icon_censored:
As with what Ms. OBrien said, these stores are in it for the money and any employee that values their jobs, especially in clothing stores where commission is involved, would be respectful and helpful no matter who you are buying those clothes for.
It is hard for me to buy female clothing in any store and I've only bought bras and panties, some nail accessories, and waxing stuff. My wife has an issue with me wearing feminine clothing but not so much with underwear, nails or waxing. Of course my situation is a little bit different than most I think(I could be wrong lol). But if I had the freedom to wear whatever I wanted at home and not have to worry about starting a fight or trying to explain it to the kids I would find a few girls that I'm out to, probably my closest sister, and we would go shopping wherever and basically have a make-over day to let out the woman in me that's been hiding for so long. For me, at the moment, there are just to many variables with negative consequences for me personally to go that far with it.
I think that the biggest hurdle to get over is yourself being okay with who you are rather than worrying whether people will accept you or not. Once you get past yourself then you gain the courage to face the world as who you are. I'm still working on getting past the first step as well as others.
Don't know if it works for you, but it's helped me:
Being trans is no shame. Walk in as a proud transgender woman buying clothes for yourself. If anyone gives you a funny look, just smile at them. If anyone asks you, say "I'm transgender. It's for me," in a confident tone. Tell yourself you have just as much right to be there as any other woman. You don't need to "earn" the right to shop for woman's clothes by going full-time or becoming passable.
Quote from: DianaP on February 20, 2013, 05:01:01 PM
I am, but then how am I supposed to try anything on? It will be so obvious if I were to go into a fitting room with her. Plus, she's always busy. :(
The technique I used when shopping in department stores and making use of the dressing room was to cover up your armload of clothes with some male item like a giant sized pair of pants.
As others have said, for the most part you will be totally unnoticed. Especially if no one has to unlock the dressing room door for you
Diana,
I worked in a thrift store and most of the time they don't have male and female dressing rooms but just one or two unisex rooms.
They really don't cared what gender the clothing is that a person takes in to a dressing room. In fact most of the time us store employees didn't even notice what was taken into the room. Last we would not say about the clothing you buy. We didn't want to offend or customers.
I have also done allot of shopping in thrift stores in the passed in male and gender neutral clothing and have never had a problem.
Yes, I was shy at first but quickly found out that it was easy, inexpensive, and no one noticed or even cared what I bought.
Hope this encourages you girl.
Hugs,
Jillieann
Well, I've learned a few things:
-It's all about the money.
-I'm my own worst enemy.
-If people don't like that I'm trans, that's too bad for them.
-Be a sleuth (except, for some reason, thrift stores around here down have male selections. ???)
-Thrift store workers don't care.
I feel better. Thanks, everybody!
Quote from: DianaP on February 20, 2013, 05:30:09 PM
Alright, but if the aforementioned lady talks to me, what do I do? :icon_nervious:
Well, I can't say that I'm buying something for my sister or something, because I have to try the stuff on. It's just so... GRAH! :icon_censored:
You could do like I did last week. When a cashier asked me who I was buying shoes for and I said there for me! But normally most people don't say anything. Your like I used to be you put more thought into this than needs to be. Don't worry so much nobody really cares what your buying. :)
if you are nervous about shopping in real life, then you should try ebay
Early on I went to a thrift store and picked out some items. I was a little nervous, but i kept going. I went to the checkout counter with an armload of obviously female clothes and some bright red heels. The lady behind the counter just said "nice shoes" with a smile. The thrift store people have seen it all and you will not shock them.
Another time i went to a major retail store and picked out an entire ensemble. I did have to avoid strange looks from women while shopping in the women's section (but who cares), and when i got to the checkout of course there was a young female cashier. Oh well, in for a dime in for a dollar, so i plopped my stuff on the counter and smiled. She smiled too, we completed the sale, and i left.
Part of shopping for female stuff in male mode is attitude. YOU are perfectly entitled to buy ANYTHING in the store. Period.
Hey I'm a guy so I know it's much harder for you gals, but I like thrift stores. It's easier to shop across the store and nobody cares. You save lots of money and can get nice stuff. No thrift stores I know of have gendered changing rooms. There are the however many they have on one end of the store. You and a girl friend can use adjoining changing booths. (Though most of them are too busy to hold them.) Most of them are too small for two people anyway.
Transition is so expensive, it's nice to save where you can.
--Jay
Quote from: Annah on February 20, 2013, 10:11:55 PM
if you are nervous about shopping in real life, then you should try ebay
Thanks, but it sounds like a hassle. I like to try on my clothing beforehand. Ebay's for workout gear and video games. :)
Quote from: riven1 on February 20, 2013, 10:15:17 PM
Part of shopping for female stuff in male mode is attitude. YOU are perfectly entitled to buy ANYTHING in the store. Period.
Fierce! Anywho, I once had some looks from women, and I came up with a tactic to kill those looks. I established eye contact and opened my eyes really wide, never losing eye contact. They back off. :laugh:
Quote from: aleon515 on February 20, 2013, 10:20:57 PM
Hey I'm a guy so I know it's much harder for you gals
You're still welcome to place input. :)
As someone said, they rarely have gendered changing rooms which is a big plus.
On another note, seriously, you are likely one of the most normal people that will be in the store. :P It is highly unlikely anyone will bat an eye at the clothing you're choosing or the section you're in, even if you don't feel confident in presenting as female yet. Thrift stores are where people go to get costumes for theatre productions, to try outlandish fashion choices, so on and so forth...and some people, again, are just downright strange and crazy-looking. You'll look normal in comparison no matter what you do.
I love thrift shops. You can find all sorts of great stuff in them.
You can probably cut at least some of the time you're looking through the racks by knowing your size/measuring ahead of time. It won't always equal a perfect fit, but at least you'll be starting in the right area. I know skirt sizes are equal to one half of your waist measurement.
Quote from: DianaP on February 20, 2013, 07:03:13 PM
Well, I've learned a few things:
-It's all about the money.
-I'm my own worst enemy.
-If people don't like that I'm trans, that's too bad for them.
-Be a sleuth (except, for some reason, thrift stores around here down have male selections. ???)
-Thrift store workers don't care.
I feel better. Thanks, everybody!
If my time as a retail drone has taught me anything, it's that
most people working retail don't care :p So long as you're not asking any of the people there for fitting advice, most of them won't be paying attention.
Also, avoid Salvation Army. Not to say christians are bad, but since it is a mostly christian charity, there's a greater chance you'll run into people who will judge you for being trans. My $.02
Quote from: DianaP on February 20, 2013, 10:24:09 PM
Thanks, but it sounds like a hassle. I like to try on my clothing beforehand. Ebay's for workout gear and video games. :)
if you know your size it's not a hassle.
I got three skirts new with tags for 99 cents total (free shipping). Each skirt was valued at 35 dollars and they had just come out.
I got a 200 dollar dress brand new with tags for 10.99 with the shipping included.
Three pair of jeans valued at 180.00 dollars for 25.00 plus 6 dollars shipping new with tags
Three sweaters valued at 65.00 dollars each. I got for 5.00 a piece...new with tags.
Everything I get on ebay is always about 75% cheaper than thrift stores.
Personally, I would never buy video games on ebay because of DRM. 90% of all games have DRM now and the CD keys are usually good up to 5 times.
Quote from: JenSquid on February 21, 2013, 01:02:26 AM
I love thrift shops. You can find all sorts of great stuff in them.
You can probably cut at least some of the time you're looking through the racks by knowing your size/measuring ahead of time. It won't always equal a perfect fit, but at least you'll be starting in the right area. I know skirt sizes are equal to one half of your waist measurement.
I do not give to the Salvation Army at all. Any organization that does not allow homeless LGBT people a shelter from the cold or the heat does not get a penny from me.
Quote from: Annah on February 21, 2013, 03:39:11 PM
Everything I get on ebay is always about 75% cheaper than thrift stores.
That's good, but I don't have an account or means of payment (credit card, etc.), so I always ask my friend's dad to do the purchasing and I just give him the cash. Can't do that for what I seek. :(
I often go to Goodwill and shop there 99 cent color tag sale. Clothing with the color of the week is .99 cent.
Many times I have gotten clothing with new tags on them. I have bought Calvin Klein, Liz Claiborne, Eddie Bauer, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger and more at there 99 cent sales.
I understand that the Salvation Army has a similar sale.
Have fun shopping.
Jillieann
Quote from: Annah on February 21, 2013, 03:41:01 PM
I do not give to the Salvation Army at all. Any organization that does not allow homeless LGBT people a shelter from the cold or the heat does not get a penny from me.
I did not know that. Thanks for the info.. They can kiss my furry tail bye.. and their little bell ringers too. MerrrrRRRROOOOWWW!! I would tell you they're mostly full of junk anyway the past year but that would seem spiteful ;)
Consignment stores will generally have better articles of clothing.. but their prices will be more then Goody's or Sally's. Times are tight, your money is green and the bottom line is what they will see. I've had clerks running around trying to find things if I ask. Know your size and after a bit you'll know how different styles and cuts fit you without having to try everthing on(shoes can be off a half size depending on maker so you will have to try them, unless you know how that makers sizes run).. of course some love to try things on. I would rather keep prowling the racks.
Quote from: Annah on February 21, 2013, 03:39:11 PM
Personally, I would never buy video games on ebay because of DRM. 90% of all games have DRM now and the CD keys are usually good up to 5 times.
If you're buying newer games, yes, but for the kind of stuff I'm usually after, there isn't always an alternative to ebay. It's not like I can walk into any old store and pick up Sega Saturn games.
Speaking of video games and thrift shops, last year I found an Atari Lynx at a Goodwill for like $10. Works perfectly and everything. Needless to say, I was amazed.
I did not know that about the Salvation Army.
I did it! I bought 1 thing! Unfortunately, there were no examples of footwear that were my size... :(
I did get a cute dress, though. I just need to figure out how to get a picture online... ???
Good for you! Can't wait to see the picture. So now you know it's a little nerve racking but probably not as bad as you thought. I shop at goodwill and ARC and while I have gotten some looks from customers never anything from the staff.
I have to echo what Annah wrote about ebay. If you ever get a credit card and it's ok to get things mailed to your house you can get some great buys on ebay. I've gotten some incredible bargains there.
Actually, the staff member who helped me was so great! I was in the dressing room the entire time, and she brought me so many things. Most of them didn't fit, but that's more of my body's fault, not her's. The other cost $48! Thrift store, why?!
Anywho, I just checked e-bay, and I must say that I'll be shopping there soon. Such a cute selection, and for a monstrously great price!
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 02:49:15 PM
I did it! I bought 1 thing! Unfortunately, there were no examples of footwear that were my size... :(
I did get a cute dress, though. I just need to figure out how to get a picture online... ???
Yay! You did it.
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 02:49:15 PM
I did it! I bought 1 thing! Unfortunately, there were no examples of footwear that were my size... :(
I did get a cute dress, though. I just need to figure out how to get a picture online... ???
congratulations! It does get easier the more you do it. I don't even think about it anymore. I can't even remember the last time I bought men's clothes.
I got a friend to e-mail me the image, but I don't know how to upload it. ???
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 04:21:37 PM
I got a friend to e-mail me the image, but I don't know how to upload it. ???
You will have to upload it to something like Photobucket and then copy it from there.
http://s1358.beta.photobucket.com/user/kpena4205/library/ (http://s1358.beta.photobucket.com/user/kpena4205/library/)
password= fiberone
Cute!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Febayimg.cndirect.com%2Fnewcdn%2F53%2F2%2F5329-G-EN24H.jpg&hash=ae546dd79dc4f8b5c8188c72912abe08dba92922)
Why must the cutest outfits always be so short?! A bit longer, and this would be perfect! I suppose I could always manage to wear something underneath... :(
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 05:13:06 PM
Why must the cutest outfits always be so short?! A bit longer, and this would be perfect! I suppose I could always manage to wear something underneath... :(
Thats a little two short for my taste too. But I'm not really two big on dresses at the moment. I feel ridiculous wearing one maybe in the future once I see what hormones does to my muscle mass.But until then I'll keep wearing jeans.
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 02:49:15 PM
I did it! I bought 1 thing! Unfortunately, there were no examples of footwear that were my size... :(
I did get a cute dress, though. I just need to figure out how to get a picture online... ???
Applauds!
I'll probably never be able to wear normal footwear. My feet are SO wide. 4~5E. I'd have to cut off an entire toe's worth of foot to fit in most shoes. It makes shoe shopping a real pain.
Like your dress Diana P.
Good for you.
It will get easier shopping from now on.
For me the hardest shopping used to be bras, panties and other under things.
I will not buy any under things used. So I would get my courage up and go to Kmart or Walmart.
Then when the hormones kicked in and I was dressed I start going to Pennys and Sear too.
Now that I am full time it's just shopping for my needs but I still thrill at getting new things.
I bought some nice jeans for a $2 on eBay which list for over $20 but after paying for shipping and handling they cost me $12 bucks.
The only problem with online shopping is that you need to watch out for the shipping cost.
Way to go Diana.
Hugs,
Jillieann
Thanks!
Who can't you buy undergarments used? It's just like buying anything else used. ???
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 08:33:32 PM
Thanks!
Who can't you buy undergarments used? It's just like buying anything else used. ???
But its underwear ??? I understand saving money! But used underwear? :o
Diana,
You can buy used under things if you want to.
It's just something I would never do.
But I did buy a new bra with all the store tags still attached at a Goodwill store.
It is a pastel red, adds 2 sizes to you bust, retails for $30.00 and I got it for 99 cents.
Was a red letter (Bra) day for me. ;D
Hugs,
Jillieann
Hey Diana,
Glad you found something you like at the store. :D
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 05:13:06 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Febayimg.cndirect.com%2Fnewcdn%2F53%2F2%2F5329-G-EN24H.jpg&hash=ae546dd79dc4f8b5c8188c72912abe08dba92922)
Why must the cutest outfits always be so short?! A bit longer, and this would be perfect! I suppose I could always manage to wear something underneath... :(
I am not sure where you live in the country or if the same things up here would be popular there, but up here in New England a lot of girls wear black leggings under skirts like in your picture. Like this: http://www.amazon.com/HUE-Ultra-Leggings-Waistband-Black/dp/B005XLTIQI/ref=sr_1_15?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1361673842&sr=1-15 (http://www.amazon.com/HUE-Ultra-Leggings-Waistband-Black/dp/B005XLTIQI/ref=sr_1_15?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1361673842&sr=1-15)
Quote from: Heather on February 23, 2013, 08:38:00 PM
But its underwear ??? I understand saving money! But used underwear? :o
Well, the dress I bought has been on someone else's skin, just like underwear.
Quote from: Jillieann Rose on February 23, 2013, 08:43:20 PM
Diana,
You can buy used under things if you want to.
It's just something I would never do.
But I did buy a new bra with all the store tags still attached at a Goodwill store.
It is a pastel red, adds 2 sizes to you bust, retails for $30.00 and I got it for 99 cents.
Was a red letter (Bra) day for me. ;D
Well, I'm not telling you to buy it used so much as just asking why you won't. ???
Nonetheless, that sounds like a steal!
Quote from: LearnedHand on February 23, 2013, 08:45:21 PM
I am not sure where you live in the country or if the same things up here would be popular there, but up here in New England a lot of girls wear black leggings under skirts like in your picture.
Yeah, I know. That's why I said, "I suppose I could always manage to wear something underneath..." :P
Quote from: DianaP on February 23, 2013, 08:48:18 PM
Well, the dress I bought has been on someone else's skin, just like underwear.
A dress is one thing. But prefer my underwear to have only been worn by me. Anyway I forgot to say your dress is cute. :)
If that's what you like, fine. Also, thanks.
Quote from: DianaP on February 20, 2013, 03:42:01 PM
Okay, I want to save money, so I decided to buy clothing at thrift stores instead of Sears. In Sears, there's so much anonymity since it's a big store and people aren't around.
On the other hand, thrift stores are tiny and personal! I went to one today, and some other girls walked in at the EXACT SAME TIME! :icon_chainsaw:
Needless to say, I chickened out and bolted, despite the employee being the most bubbly and delightful lady in the world, even down to the squeaky voice.
Anywho, I'm rambling, so my point is that I need tips on how to be brave in thrift stores. :icon_nervious:
Kia Ora Diana,
Think about this for a moment I would say most trans-people at one time or other have shopped in the thrifty stores, so if you do your maths[of which you are quite good at] the chances are due to the constant flow of trans-people in and out of their stores the staff would have seen it all and take it all in their stride ie, not bat an eyelid....
"Feel the fear and do it anyway"
You have the green
light...
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: Heather on February 20, 2013, 05:05:46 PM
You just got to learn to tune people out. Imagine your the only one in there shopping. You could also wear headphones and just focus on the music. Music helped me through nervousness when started presenting as myself. :)
I couldn't agree more, whenever I'm out and about, all I can hear is music, so even if I see someone who is obviously talking about me to their friend, it just looks like they're singing along to whatever I'm listening to :)
Quote from: Ms. OBrien VT on February 20, 2013, 05:14:56 PM
Let's think about this a minute. Women go into thrift stores and buy clothes for their guys, and no one says a word. So why would it be any different for an MtF, in boy mode, to buy things for 'their girl'. OK, so 'their girl' is really themselves, but no one knows that.
Thrift stores are in the business of making money, and I have never seen anyone say anything to some one who was buying opposite gender clothing.
This is what I had done when I was at St vincents in south san francisco one time, it depends on how im feeling that day and how much strange looks i get from someone who says "may I help you"
I just say its for my girlfriend.
I had been clothes shopping at all kinds of stores for my disabled wife (when she didn't feel up to leaving the house) before I ever started buying women's clothing for myself. No one ever bothered me or even looked at me strange. We wore the same size, so if something was questionable I could try it on to see if it would fit her. Even when I started buying for myself, half of everything was for her usually.
I only ever got hassled once, by an idiot, and that only time was after I was presenting as female. It wasn't a thrift store.