Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: oZma on February 20, 2013, 05:23:40 PM

Title: I have a couple questions!
Post by: oZma on February 20, 2013, 05:23:40 PM
when changing your name, how do you feel about changing your last name? my name is Ryan and I'm fulltime... for awhile I thought it would be neat to keep it, now I'm sick of it... it's just  i constant reminder of this past life.  I wanted to be strong and keep it, friends said I didn't need to keep it, etc... but now? I'm over it....

the problem is that no names I like go with my last name which makes me feel like I should just move my first name to my last?  something like Emily Ryan? but I don't know how to tell my family this... it's nothing against them, I just don't like the sound of it?


second question... for post pop girls... orgasm.. clitoral or vaginal? I'm sure its a mixed crowd, but I'm curious... I'm getting more serious about getting the surgery and am preoccupied with not looking what I have now... I don't even like to say what it is lol

final question... after going fulltime, have you tried to laser 'down there'? I get so embarrassed about it... sad face...
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: kinz on February 20, 2013, 05:42:18 PM
orgasms are orgasms are orgasms.  clitoral orgasms are pretty much the same thing, for me, as pre-operative orgasms.  i've heard that prostate orgasms (which is what trans women are getting out of vaginal sex) are great, but i have no interest in that kinda stuff, so yeah?  the g-spot in women is supposed to be around skene's gland, which is a homologous structure to the prostate...so it's likely a similar sort of feeling regardless.  i don't really think orgasms have genders anyway, but there you have it.
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: Kevin Peña on February 20, 2013, 05:48:02 PM
Change your name to what you want it to be. First, last, whatever. It's irrelevant. If anything, you can make an entirely new name and make your old last name your new middle name.  ???
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: A on February 20, 2013, 06:03:12 PM
You do what you want, but personally, when I thought of the possibility, I opted against it. Changing one's family name without a real need to pretty much means you want to dissociate yourself from them. Not necessarily in reality, but I think it's how it would be perceived by most people. Besides, I thought to myself, if I'd been born a girl, I would've had this same name, so why change?

So, yeah. Think of how much you feel the need to change it, versus the possible bad consequences of it. If you feel it's worth it, then go for it. I personally didn't, but maybe you will. It's your life, after all.
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: suzifrommd on February 20, 2013, 06:04:41 PM
I've always hated my last name. Planned to keep it while I thought it might work out with my wife. Now I plan to change it, as a cheering-up gift to myself during the divorce.
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: oZma on February 20, 2013, 06:37:11 PM
ughhhh

what about changing your name while you're at one job and starting to interview under the new name... anybody done that?  sounds complicated... ugh, name change stresses me out! I hate thinking about my current name, in hate thinking about changing it... kinda like I hate thinking about my boy thing and I hate thinking about getting surgery to change it! 

being trans annoys me so much! I don't like thinking about this stuff!
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: A on February 20, 2013, 08:15:09 PM
You need, job search? Well, there are a few ways to go about it.

1. You call your previous employers that this one might contact and ask them to consider that <new name> is <old name>, which obviously has you come out to previous employers, but not to your current one. More people to come out to, but you don't need to be out to people in your present life.

2. You tell your interviewer about your old name, so they call and ask about that one. Only one person to come out to, but it's one you might be seeing often, and it might decrease your chances. You might pass it off as "my parents gave me an awfully boyish name and I finally decided to change it", but... I dunno, sounds like it's half-lying.

3. You don't quite encourage the interviewer to call previous employers and hope. I don't personally recommend this.

4. You erase your CV and start anew. This is a pretty hard choice indeed.
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: oZma on February 20, 2013, 09:30:52 PM
Quote from: A on February 20, 2013, 08:15:09 PM
You need, job search? Well, there are a few ways to go about it.

1. You call your previous employers that this one might contact and ask them to consider that <new name> is <old name>, which obviously has you come out to previous employers, but not to your current one. More people to come out to, but you don't need to be out to people in your present life.

2. You tell your interviewer about your old name, so they call and ask about that one. Only one person to come out to, but it's one you might be seeing often, and it might decrease your chances. You might pass it off as "my parents gave me an awfully boyish name and I finally decided to change it", but... I dunno, sounds like it's half-lying.

3. You don't quite encourage the interviewer to call previous employers and hope. I don't personally recommend this.

4. You erase your CV and start anew. This is a pretty hard choice indeed.

well i'm already out to my current employer... i trans'd on the job... so i'm good there... i just don't really want to interact with people who knew me before anymore! i want to forget about it! eternal sunshiine my brain! lol :)
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: Kevin Peña on February 20, 2013, 09:31:57 PM
Well, unless you're willing to oust friends, family, doctors, employers, etc, that may not happen.  :P
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: oZma on February 20, 2013, 09:46:20 PM
Quote from: DianaP on February 20, 2013, 09:31:57 PM
Well, unless you're willing to oust friends, family, doctors, employers, etc, that may not happen.  :P

i know, i want to write a story about my desire to eternal sunshine my brains... then have the ending say something about loving all of you and to not run from the past jargon?  i think it would be neat :)
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: Kevin Peña on February 20, 2013, 09:48:47 PM
What does, "eternal sunshine my brains" mean?

Anywho, I'd recommend putting your last name as your middle name. Nothing wrong with having a long name. I have 5: D____ | M______ | R_______ | P______-S_______  :P
Title: Re: I have a couple questions!
Post by: oZma on February 20, 2013, 09:58:58 PM
Quote from: DianaP on February 20, 2013, 09:48:47 PM
What does, "eternal sunshine my brains" mean?

Anywho, I'd recommend putting your last name as your middle name. Nothing wrong with having a long name. I have 5: D____ | M______ | R_______ | P______-S_______  :P

you never seen the movie "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"?! if you haven't, watch it now... i love Charlie Kaufman :)

my last name does not do well as a middle name sadly :(