Hey everyone. I prowl these boards every once in a while but this is my first time posting.
First off, I am pre T and pre Op trans guy. I have the money to get top surgery saved up. I didn't want to begin transitioning until I knew I could afford top surgery. That's probably atypical, but it's just how I wanted to do it. *shrug*
Ok... so here is my dilemma. I work for my dad. I don't want to transition while working at his company. While I believe he will accept me, I don't want to bring this into his work. So I've been looking for a new job that I can transition at. But as soon as I can I want to come out as trans, go on T, and get top surgery.
Assuming things are going well with a new job, what is an acceptable amount of time to ask for time off for surgery? How much time off should I expect to need to take off?
This question does beg how quickly I can come out as trans, too. But I think there is a different section of this forum for that. I probably just have to feel things out for that.
Anyway, what are your thoughts?
Quote from: Eccentric Moe on February 20, 2013, 11:30:37 PM
While I believe he will accept me, I don't want to bring this into his work.
...
Anyway, what are your thoughts?
Transgender is nothing to be ashamed of. You aren't "bringing it into work", it's part of you. A beautiful part. Nothing to keep hidden, doesn't need to be disruptive unless other people make it so. The men at work, they come in dressed and acting like men without thinking that they're "bringing it into work", why shouldn't you?
It's not that I am ashamed of being trans. My dad is just very well known in his industry and I don't want to give people something to gossip about. It's also a conservative industry so it may affect his business relationships. This isn't his battle to fight, it's mine, you know? Besides, the job there is part time and I'm underpaid. I need a new job anyway.
Has no one else had awkward timing with job hunting and transition before?
Could I present as male for an interview even though I am still legally female? I feel like that has to be breaking a law or something XD
Any input is appreciated.
Quote from: Eccentric Moe on February 25, 2013, 10:41:25 PM
Has no one else had awkward timing with job hunting and transition before?
Could I present as male for an interview even though I am still legally female? I feel like that has to be breaking a law or something XD
Any input is appreciated.
Depends where you are. Without that info the question hangs!!
In Australia you can. Our sex discrimination laws protect you (in theory).
C
sometimes there are laws that protect you. certain countries protect you, certain states/provinces/regions protect you, certain cities and municipalities protect you...in theory.
assume the worst, because either way the deck's stacked against most trans people when it comes to actually proving discrimination occurs if and when it does. the optimal arrangement, to be honest, is to take time off of work, change your documentation, transition socially, whatever you want and need to do, before starting another job. that said, financially that might not always be an option. if you're willing to be out with your trans status, there's nothing preventing you from showing up to an interview dressed however the hell you want, as long as you're prepared to discuss that potential incongruity with your prospective employer.
that said, what i would advise is that if you're going to be out as trans in the workplace, be out when you get there as opposed to starting the job and subsequently transitioning. i've been in places and times where i've had to come out and transition in front of the same people, and it's a pretty miserable feeling; whenever i've been there i've wanted to get out and cut all ties as quickly as possible. of course it's possible that you're not me and you would feel fine and ok with that, but i know that's a common sentiment, so i thought i'd at least say that.
Thanks for the input, folks.
Cindy: I am from the US, Illinois specifically. And that's cool of Australia. Some how I am not confident that it's the same in the US. XD
transtrender: You bring up a good point. I could show up dressed as however I want if I am going to come out as trans anyway.
My legal name is very female though. So I'd want to market myself under the gender neutral name I plan to change to. But... Can I DO that? Put a different name on my resume than is on my ID? I feel like that has to be some sort of fraud or something.
I think I am going to try to transition where I am and then job hunt like you suggest, transtrender. It partly depends on how my dad takes the news when I come out to him this weekend... We'll see.