I was never total slob as a guy. But I wasn't too concerned about the house.
I've changed, my house is more of a home and I'm sort of identifying with it more in that sense.
I was at a friends house recently and his home is beautiful, but obviously a guys house and he can afford to decorate as he wishes.
Mine has a female feel to it (I hope) and that is what I want to achieve.
Do others feel this weird change?
I haven't really felt much of a change, people have often commented on my places having a feminine flair too them :) This was kind of bothersome to me in younger days but now I feel complimented
I really identify with these notions.
I think men, generally, but a few exceptions, do have a rather utilitarian style. So their environment tends to reflect whatever is on their minds.
Women seem to be more concerned with what is on everyone else's mind!
I think men just tend to be kinda bland and gals tend to like having pretties about, a bit more flowery so to speak
Well if I took a poll of male and female friends, sadly. the females fail in epic levels. I know of several cis females that are *&^%@ pigs.
Not that I don't know any guys that are pigs.
Now for me, well partly I was raised by a mom that was a June Cleaver. And partly my June Cleaver nature is likely just that I was never a man in the first place in my manner.
My place can be messy, but the truth is, I am being intentionally messy as a way of telling my wife I have my neat freak under control. Because I would rather my place made me look like a paragon of order, but it tends to make me a pain to be around.
My wife doesn't arrange the furniture I do.
If the place gets painted, I decide the colours.
I maintain the place.
Everything about this place that makes it a home, and not a roof and 4 walls is thanks to me.
My wife has her 'spot', but, I saw to it she had it, not she demanded it. I know she needed a place to call hers, and thus she has it.
The only real transition around her, might come on the day I am washing the dishes in a night gown. Or found doing housework dressed the way most housewives would be found dressed. I do the housework already. I just have not yet acquired the cliche apparel.
It has been this way all 27 years I have been married. Long before I woke up too.
Part of the reason I can accept myself as myself, is I can look back and realize how much I was me a long time ago, and merely thinking I was someone else.
Wonderful thing hindsight.
Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on February 25, 2013, 07:08:37 AM
Well if I took a poll of male and female friends, sadly. the females fail in epic levels. I know of several cis females that are *&^%@ pigs.
Not that I don't know any guys that are pigs.
Now for me, well partly I was raised by a mom that was a June Cleaver. And partly my June Cleaver nature is likely just that I was never a man in the first place in my manner.
My place can be messy, but the truth is, I am being intentionally messy as a way of telling my wife I have my neat freak under control. Because I would rather my place made me look like a paragon of order, but it tends to make me a pain to be around.
My wife doesn't arrange the furniture I do.
If the place gets painted, I decide the colours.
I maintain the place.
Everything about this place that makes it a home, and not a roof and 4 walls is thanks to me.
My wife has her 'spot', but, I saw to it she had it, not she demanded it. I know she needed a place to call hers, and thus she has it.
The only real transition around her, might come on the day I am washing the dishes in a night gown. Or found doing housework dressed the way most housewives would be found dressed. I do the housework already. I just have not yet acquired the cliche apparel.
It has been this way all 27 years I have been married. Long before I woke up too.
Part of the reason I can accept myself as myself, is I can look back and realize how much I was me a long time ago, and merely thinking I was someone else.
Wonderful thing hindsight.
Ahh can you read writing on the wall???? :-*
I've always had a flare for decoration and interior design since I was a kid. I used to redecorate my room quite often for fun when I was like 9-10 years old. So not much has changed for me. Maybe less stuffed animals now. :)
Quote from: V M on February 25, 2013, 04:52:48 AM
I think men just tend to be kinda bland and gals tend to like having pretties about, a bit more flowery so to speak
With respect I think it's much more complicated. I tend to see women, generally, trying to present an open image to the world trying to make their homes inviting. I think they generally try to make themselves look interesting and therefore desirable. (In a Darwinian sense)
But the female ego is so very fragile and more so, in western cultures where the male is seen as so important. Once they are hurt, it's very difficult for them to pick themselves up again.
Lesley talked about women living as pigs. I've noticed that women who maintain self confidence and optimism, tend to create presentations and environments to intice others or to invite some level of envy. So women, whose egos have been damaged early tend to have fewer expectations, reflected in their less enticing environments.
The western notion of males having weak egos is, I suggest, a myth. The male adolescence, if it progresses normally, seems to produce a surge in self confidence at around the mid teens. At this point, those females who are sufficient mature and fertile, tend to respond, massaging the egos of the most attractive males.
The less mature or less fertile females tend to be left at this point. The less desirable males tend to get pushed back much later, when their maturity is more able to deal with it than for the rejected females. Now on an evolutionary level, this could be so that these males can continue contributing to the group.
As successful men progress, their self confidence grows and they surround themselves with those aspects most important to them.
Just some random observations. No big deal really.
The only people I have ever seen that kept up a house as badly as I did are guys. It now makes sense I suppose.
--Jay
I've been a clean freak most of my life. There was a period when I was very young that I didn't care, but that disappeared by my teen years. I did house work from a young age and have never been comfortable is a messy room.