What do you guys do to take care of your hair? And what would you recommend I do while it continues to grow out? So I have wavy "ish" hair and I use fairly basic shampoo. My hair is also fairly oily if that factors into it at all. I feel pretty frustrated with my hair because I was looking up wavy unisex haircuts and I can't really find one that would fit without my hair getting longer and using a straightener doesn't seem to be a good idea as of now. Thank you girls! :)
I'm curious about this topic, I have no idea what to do with my hair either >.<
Quote from: Shana on February 27, 2013, 05:50:15 AM
I'm curious about this topic, I have no idea what to do with my hair either >.<
I try to ask the questions that we are all thinking :P
Well it really depends on what you do to your hair. If you leave it natural, i.e. don't dye , straighten etc you can pretty much much carry on as normal. Basically if you hair is shiny, soft and not dry your doing the right thing.
If you have abused you hair like I have, lol, you have to be more careful. I don't shampoo every day (more like every 4 days) to prevent removing oils, but I do rinse through with conditioner when having a shower. I sometimes leave an intense conditioner ( with a tea spoon of olive oil!) on overnight, while wearing a shower cap... that's a lot of fun! Plus I have heat protection leave in conditioners, that I use if I'm going out a lot and therefore straightening a lot too.
Oh and get you hair trimmed monthly, to remove the split ends :)
Like with anything proper tools make a big difference. Quality shampoo, conditioner and a good hair dryer are places to start. Then wash regularly but not everyday and avoid too much shampoo. With healthy hair, cuts and styling is much easier. Finding a good stylist though, that's not easy.
The products will most likely be expensive, but planning a consultation with a professional hairdresser to talk about that is a good idea, I think. I'm definitely going to do that.
Apart from that, uhm, general good hair health tips...
-Only wash your hair as often as you need to so it doesn't smell or get very oily. Try washing it less often for a week or two and see what happens. Some people's hair get oily precisely because they wash it so much, and if they endure the oiliness for a while, it'll just stop.
-If you find your hair gets oily every single day, there's a chance you're yourself stimulating oil production, or not removing it properly when you wash. Rinse your scalp in cool water before coming out of the shower. Don't use a ton of shampoo once; instead, always shampoo twice in a row (rinsing in between of course) with a moderate amount of shampoo. Don't leave your hair hanging on your face all the time. Etc.
-Keep alcohol, menthol and such out of your hair. It's irritating, and pretty awful overall for all cleansing and skin/hair care products.
-Determine what is best for your hair. To blow dry it every day, or to do so as rarely as possible? My own hair needs to be blow dried every time they get wet, because else my scalp develops yucky things in no time. But blow drying isn't harmless to the hair, so if you can avoid doing it, do so. And never use the maximum heat setting. Ideally, stick with "cool", but that takes forever, so "warm" will do.
-Limit your use of irons (curling, straightening, whatever) as much as you can, and when you do use them, do so with a protective spray used as instructed. And don't bring the iron too close to the base of your hair if you can. I heard it stimulated oil production. If you can't stand your curls, consider having a straight perm. I've been told it's much less damaging than constant use of a straightening iron.
My own hair used to be really oily (already disgusting and smelling a bit after just 24 hours), but since testosterone has gone away, it's actually dry and damaged.Now I wash it once a week; twice at most.
It depends on your hair. You say you have oily hair... how long have you been on HRT? Usually HRT will lessen the oils excreted by your scalp. However, if they do not, you will need clarifying shampoo, and you'll need to use it only when your hair is getting overly oily. However, some oil (sebum) is important for hair health (and skin health, btw), so you don't want to wash it out at the very first sign of oil. If it doesn't get overly oily, just shampoo once a week.
Brand name? I use the Biolage Matrix line and I ONLY buy from beauty supply stores. Walmart sells them, but they're usually resold due to overstock of inventory at beauty supply chains (they send back product that has been on the shelf for too long) or they're the products that failed tests in their labs. I wouldn't get it unless you're getting it from a salon. Some are even black market product that can be bad on your hair!
As for waviness, there's no real way to change the wave pattern of your hair. Hormones may or may not affect them (they have not for me). You only have a few ways to alter the pattern, and none of them are completely permanent.
Heat / water: Blow dryer, beauty tools (flat iron), or styling while wet and letting it dry like that (Impossible to get straight if you do not have straight hair).
Chemically altering: Permanent waves or relaxing. This is BAD for hair heath. This breaks the disulphide bonds of the hair. Getting a relaxer basically destroys enough bonds in the hair so that it cannot form a curl (it's a very popular service for African American women whom have "kinky" hair). However, these are highly alkaline treatments (some relaxers contain lye), and can absolutely destroy your hair. I've pulled unbelievable amounts of breakage from clients who've received these treatments. Permanent waving is not as damaging, but you should see a mannequin I used in beauty school which I overprocessed with solution. Plus you'll need to go in every couple of months to get the treatment again because the hair grows, and they're not cheap... most salons will charge $90+ for a relaxer.
My advice? Just grow it out. Don't worry about cutting the hair until it's the length you want it to be. Contrary to popular belief, cutting it does NOT make it grow faster. Your dermal papilla doesn't care if your ends are cut and are going to keratinize the strand as fast as it wants to. The only truth to the myth is if you're having breakage... then cutting the split ends will prevent the splits from going higher up the shaft and breaking there. You'll have your awkward hair stage, but eventually you'll be so happy with your hair!! Besides, hormones may increase hair growth (density and speed). Hair averages a half inch a month of growth, which mine was doing pre-hrt. It's grown about 2 inches since Christmas (2 months ago!).
If you need to flat iron it, use one slow stroke per pass. Continually heating the hair and cooling it is a good way to screw it up. I've learned that you can flat iron it every day if you want, as long as you are CAREFUL not to continually heat it and cool it.
Very interesting, Alaina. My friend's hairdresser seems to be quite wrong. She said pretty much the opposite of what you did regarding hair straightening - that flat irons damaged hair much more over time.
I have a natural light wave in my hair, and although it looks good (imho) just cleaned and brushed, my hair stylist said to do this (detailed below) and ever since then, I've gotten many, many rave compliments about how great my hair looks...
I use "Aussie" brand shampoo, conditioner, and mousse...just because I like the smell! No really, the shampoo lathers up real nice with just a half-pump, the conditioner works excellent, and the moose does too.
All I do is shampoo (emphasizing the scalp, not so much the ends of the hair), wash my face, rinse face and hair, put in conditioner (reverse of the shampoo--emphasize the ends of the hair, not so much the scalp), leave in the conditioner all thru the shower, rinse it out at the very end.
Pat dry the hair (and the rest of me)...
Brush out the wet hair, brush it over the face, take the mousse and put about a tangerine-sized dollop in one hand, divide it between both hands, and rub it all over the hair, wherever you want extra waviness. Do not brush out the hair after, that will remove the waviness...just arrange it with your fingers to how you want it, maybe use a rattail comb for a "part" or other division.
It is awesome! (See my profile pic, that's what it looks like. I put the "part" in there, but I'm not real happy with it.)
Fwiw, I like your hair now. 8)
Quote from: A on February 27, 2013, 09:11:38 PM
Very interesting, Alaina. My friend's hairdresser seems to be quite wrong. She said pretty much the opposite of what you did regarding hair straightening - that flat irons damaged hair much more over time.
Doing too much of anything is a bad thing. If your hair is dry, then yes it can do damage to it easier. But if it's rather oily (like the OP), the worry is less.
Is it okay to condition your hair everyday? (without shampoo) Everytime I wash it, it gets like, freakishly dry after awhile.
Not usually... for one, many conditioners have protein in them. Too much and your hair will become straw like. Also, too much deposits in your hair is bad for your scalp. Some of those deposits get in your follicle and clog them.
I've learned if it gets overly dry you can put a slight bit of lotion on the hair. It makes a good moisturizer :)
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Just don't let your hair touch the water. Conditioners (at least good conditioners) don't run.
If you have trouble with that you can always get a shower cap and do it that way.
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For really long hair you can always pin it up, too.
I have naturally curly hair :(. After years of trying non permanent methods of straitening my hair, I'm going natural. No blow dryers, curling irons, ect. Everything I've read says those are bad for curly hair. I only shampoo(w/ sulfate free shampoo) once every two weeks and am constantly conditioning. Argan oil, coconut oil, Jojoba oil, and Shea butter. I leave it in over night and wash it out in the shower. My hair has never been in such good condition! ;D DevaCurl "Heaven in hair" & Biolage hydrating mask are both really nice conditioners.
Let it grow. Curly/wavy hair generally behaves better when its long.
Good shampoos, and conditioners really go a long way's my stylist that I use said stay away from the main stream stuff you find at wal-mart,k-mart,etc they have to much perfumes, and bad thing in them that hurts your hair. Get your shower supplies from good store like ulta, and salon's. If you go to a Salon you can ask which shampoo is good for your hair type if you are not sure.
My hair is fine and prone to damage, I think after being on hormones for some time your hair changes.
for my hair I use joyco k-pax shampoo and condition and than use joyco's moisterising conditioner. and just a note you dont need much of joyco's products they go a long way's
Also if you hair is like mine and sometimes hard to manage(not being able to brush or comb it easily you can get whats sometimee called a wig brush, that help a lot!!!!
I use an extremely basic shampoo that limits the drying agents and use generous amounts of conditioner. I have tight curls naturally (Think Merida from Pixar's Brave, but black) though so it really depends on the hair type. Whenever I do feel like straightening it I use a heat protector and usually a flatiron with dial setting.
If you have curly/wavy hair length does help a lot. The weight of the hair helps keep it tamed. When I first started growing mine out it was totally out of control because i have curly hair, now that it's to my shoulder it seems to behave it's self much more. Even though you said your hair is oily you do need oils in your hair to keep it healthy and make It shine. Sometimes if you're over shampooing that will lead to creating too much oil on the scalp because your body it attempting to replace was was lost. Maybe try rinsing it out with out shampoo for a week or two and see how it does then? Personally I rarely use actual shampoo on my hair anymore unless it is really sweaty or dirty, most shampoos are very harsh if used too often. Condition, and thoroughly rinse and you should be set. Sometimes the different hair oils will also help to relax and control your hair. I've been using the morracan argon oil conditioner durning my shower, then after I've towel dried my hair I'll put a small amount of Argon oil in it and comb it through, then if I need extra hold a leave in conditioner. Additionally if you intend to use any kind of heat on your hair, the Argon oil will help protect it slightly. Best wishes.
*grumbles*
At least you all have hair. Thanks, genetics!
Also, about once or twice a week I don't shampoo/condition at all. Not because I'm following any regimen, but because I either wake up late, or it's my weekend.
Wow that is a lot of information to take in and it will definitely help me I think. I suppose my next step would be to buy a better shampoo brand and to buy a conditioner in general. When I was in high school though, my mother told me I shouldn't use conditioner because my hair made far too many oils and it would get oily the very day I showered. I'm guessing that isn't going to work for me though and my hair could have become less oily after starting hormones I suppose. I think after I get my hair trimmed, I'm going to ask the hair stylist to recommend a shampoo and conditioner for me and then follow that. I read that I don't need to get it trimmed because it will still grow at normal speed but my hair is a complete mess and I think I will look a lot better if I get a gender neutral haircut and then continue to grow it out, or do you think that is a bad idea? For now, I'm going to wait a week and see what my hair is like without shampooing it(Hopefully I won't stink) and then I will go from there.
Hmm, I feel like I'm reading mixed things about straightening your hair and although I've never done it before, once I do go full time I was planning on straightening it a lot more because I like straight hair, but if it's damaging I wouldn't want to do that on a regular basis. I really appreciate all of the answers that I got and all of the time that went into it. Also thank you for all the tips that you all left, they all made sense and I'm definitely guilty of having some of my hair in my face.
Emma
Quote from: EmmaS on February 28, 2013, 07:32:21 AM...I think I will look a lot better if I get a gender neutral haircut...
I'll vote against aiming for a "gender neutral haircut". For one thing, I'm not sure there really is a "neutral" haircut anymore, really-- at least once you get get out Amish country, anyway. Since the early 1980s I've worn a variety of cuts I deliberately patterned after female celebrities and was always accepted as male when I wanted to be.
Early on I learned an interesting thing about the public acceptance of long hair for men. That is that when your hair looks really
good-- whether in a style normally worn by either gender-- people are more accepting of the way you look. If your hair is an uncommon or goofy long cut, you'll get flap now and then. Look really
good and you can get away with most anything.
~ Lyric ~
Quote from: Lyric on February 28, 2013, 11:00:17 AM
I'll vote against aiming for a "gender neutral haircut". For one thing, I'm not sure there really is a "neutral" haircut anymore, really-- at least once you get get out Amish country, anyway. Since the early 1980s I've worn a variety of cuts I deliberately patterned after female celebrities and was always accepted as male when I wanted to be.
Early on I learned an interesting thing about the public acceptance of long hair for men. That is that when your hair looks really good-- whether in a style normally worn by either gender-- people are more accepting of the way you look. If your hair is an uncommon or goofy long cut, you'll get flap now and then. Look really good and you can get away with most anything.
~ Lyric ~
Those are extremely good points and I do agree with you that men can get away with long hair generally. My one thing that is really driving an attempt at a "gender neutral" haircut is that I still have a job and am enrolled in classes for quite a while longer and so as more changes happen, I want to easily still be perceived as a "straight male" until I go full time and I don't think I will be able to for months longer if I don't. Any thoughts? Otherwise, I completely agree with all of your points.
Quote from: EmmaS on February 28, 2013, 11:03:36 AMI want to easily still be perceived as a "straight male" until I go full time
I've heard this same sort of thing from a lot of TG people and I have to say it's never made sense to me. I'm pretty sure if the people around you will accept an abrupt switch from looking like a conservative male to looking like a conservative female, they should easily accept some transitional stages. I believe this sort of thinking has more to do with your own mindset than anyone else's.
I think what the people around us want most from us is honesty. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, you are not serving them very well that way. On the other hand, if you, inside yourself, still feel the need to perceived as entirely male-- at least some of the time-- that's another thing.
~ Lyric ~
Quote from: Lyric on February 28, 2013, 11:16:27 AM
I think what the people around us want most from us is honesty. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, you are not serving them very well that way. On the other hand, if you, inside yourself, still feel the need to perceived as entirely male-- at least some of the time-- that's another thing.
~ Lyric ~
Well I definitely have no desire to be male in any fashion, it's just more of a safety issue for work because I have no interest in "coming out" to my coworkers and probably not my boss either. People that are close to me already know about my transition, so I'm not worried about them, but everyone else in society who will see me if that makes sense at all.
It sounds like you're planning an employment transition to accompany your gender transition and perhaps that will ease things for you. I'll admit from long experience that it isn't always easy to be something other than a cookie cutter gender stereotype. I admit I still wish I could macho up a bit when I take the car into a mechanic's garage. There's just something about those guys...
~ Lyric ~
Quote from: Lyric on February 28, 2013, 11:54:18 AM
It sounds like you're planning an employment transition to accompany your gender transition and perhaps that will ease things for you. I'll admit from long experience that it isn't always easy to be something other than a cookie cutter gender stereotype. I admit I still wish I could macho up a bit when I take the car into a mechanic's garage. There's just something about those guys...
~ Lyric ~
My plan is to leave this job and just finish out school as a student only and transition this summer, that way when I enroll in classes in the fall, I can enroll as Emma. My dilemma is what to do with my hair in the mean time because that is another 3 months in the future. Yeah, but I'd rather be myself in the end though, and that's my goal ultimately whether it's a stereotypical female or not.
All I can say is if you pass well as a man, chances are you won't pass well as a female. I found the more female I looked without any makeup at all, the more I passed with men. Its going to be hard to pass one day looking totally male and the next day you're a girl. But I think the biggest hurdle we have to not get crazy looks is to break many male mannerisms (elbows close, legs together for example). You may be passing, but society still looks at even cis gender women a bit wonky if they aren't presenting certain manners.
I guess I'm saying if you don't start trying to bring the girl in you out a bit more, the first few months are going to probably unnecessarily difficult.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on February 28, 2013, 12:26:07 PM
All I can say is if you pass well as a man, chances are you won't pass well as a female. I found the more female I looked without any makeup at all, the more I passed with men. Its going to be hard to pass one day looking totally male and the next day you're a girl. But I think the biggest hurdle we have to not get crazy looks is to break many male mannerisms (elbows close, legs together for example). You may be passing, but society still looks at even cis gender women a bit wonky if they aren't presenting certain manners.
I guess I'm saying if you don't start trying to bring the girl in you out a bit more, the first few months are going to probably unnecessarily difficult.
Well my face has been changing a lot, and overall in the end I'm not too worried about physically passing. As for mannerisms, I do tend to be more feminine in my movements, and I'm already starting to get strange looks when I go out in public. I feel like I can pass as a male so well because I try to be confident and show that to others so they don't question it. It's not who I am, and I'm extremely uncomfortable living as a male and my friends have told me after I "came out" to them that I was a lot more feminine around them. Who knows, maybe I don't pass very well as a straight male and just no one says anything to me, but I've had several people who know me come up to me recently and confront me about it.
Tell the stylist what you'd like to see...they can do anything, from a buzz to just a "dusting" to even things up, and let them know what kind of image you'd like to present.
I told mine I was trans, and wanted a definite female haircut, but one that would look good with my man-skull...she fixed it up right, and told me what would, and would not, look good on me.
Emma, I would personally advise against having a haircut. From your picture, your hair is still in, or just out of that "awkward stage" that is longer-but-still-short-ish hair. A haircut might just prolong the agony. Moreover, if you get a haircut while still not 100 % going as female, you -will- have elements that you don't like in it. I advise you do just as I did and am doing: endure the bad hair for a bit more, and it'll get better. Once you can safely tie it with an elastic, how bad or good it looks doesn't matter much anymore.
(Although to be honest, I really should get a little cut to get rid of my numerous broken and split ends, but I'm just so scared of making a mistake or making it just short enough so it can't stay out of my face AGAIN.)
Quote from: A on February 28, 2013, 02:30:58 PM
Emma, I would personally advise against having a haircut. From your picture, your hair is still in, or just out of that "awkward stage" that is longer-but-still-short-ish hair.
You aren't talking about the avatar right? I'm assuming you saw one of the "boy" mode pictures that I posted in a different thread?
I am talking about the avatar. oo' It's not you?
Quote from: A on February 28, 2013, 02:54:42 PM
I am talking about the avatar. oo' It's not you?
it's me, that is a wig.
Oh. Then seeing as I'm awful at searching, I'm going to be needing a link. xD
Quote from: A on February 28, 2013, 03:00:39 PM
Oh. Then seeing as I'm awful at searching, I'm going to be needing a link. xD
Sure here
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1105.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh357%2Fmstutz619%2FMe-2-24_zpsfc93973d.jpg&hash=d612230fc955dcabbe784d2261148e1396e1b29f)
Mmmmh... Then yeah. What I said, times two. The awkward stage seems even longer when people have curly hair. You wouldn't want to make it worse.