I don't know if this is any level normal or if I'm just weird. I know I'm trans and I've been positive about it as long as I can remember, but there is virtually zero femininity in me as a person. In fact I tend to remind myself of Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor from Home Improvement (exceptionally manly, tool-obsessed gearhead). I love working on cars and shopping at tool stores. I've built death traps with motors out of scrap. When I was a kid I had a huge Hotwheels collection, and I rode around on a powerwheels powered by a starter motor out of a '78 GMC. My first go kart was an '81 Murray lawn tractor with an idler pulley on the transaxle. Thing went 45. It's basically why everybody who's known me was very surprised when I came out- to them I'm about as manly as one can be. Does this make me weird or is it somewhat common? I kinda feel like a misfit wherever I go.
Quote from: lydia_s on February 27, 2013, 12:56:13 PM
Does this make me weird or is it somewhat common? I kinda feel like a misfit wherever I go.
Every trans woman I've ever met has characteristics and interests that many people would consider masculine.
Luckily, like cis women, we're entitled to be whatever kind of women we want.
Well there are CiS girls out there that can be into cars and mechanical work and otherwise have hobby's or tastes that are usually defined as more masculine but in the end does that make them any less of a girl than the rest just because their tastes don't lean towards what others consider the norm? No they are just as much a girl as the next. I guess what I'm saying is no your not weird your an individual with your own tastes and hobby's and if people wish to judge you as less than what you are because of them then in my opinion they need to broaden their horizons a little^^
Quote from: lydia_s on February 27, 2013, 12:56:13 PM
I don't know if this is any level normal or if I'm just weird. I know I'm trans and I've been positive about it as long as I can remember, but there is virtually zero femininity in me as a person.
I can relate. Whether or not its normal? I've asked myself this question, and more or less decided that it doesn't matter what the answer is. On a good day, I can tell myself with conviction that nothing about my interests, personality, or demeanor makes me any less of a woman that I know myself to be.
Quote
I kinda feel like a misfit wherever I go.
Me too! This has caused me a lot of suffering and awkwardness, but again on a good day I feel like I can own it, and work it.
On a good day, it feels really good to feel like a truly unique individual. Notsomuch an outcast, but rather just an oddball :)
P.S. You certainly have greater than zero femininity in your appearance! You look good.
I believe that the standard "trans narrative" is simply that -- it's a story. Some people fit that story more than others. It is by no means a standard to measure oneself against, and conformance to or deviation from that narrative has no functional bearing on whether or not you "really are" a woman.
I wrestled with this for a long time and I still do. I don't fit that description, but I don't really want to.
The most important part of my transition is giving myself an honest chance to be the person I feel like I am. I'm starting to accept the fact that I'm trans, independently from anyone else's standards.
I don't find it weird at all. Cis woman can be into the same things you are, look at Danica Patrick driving race cars for a living. I'm big into sports. My grandmother got me into watching Baseball, while my father hates most sports. You like what you like and just because they might be looked at as a masculine activity does not mean that woman can't like the same things.
Quote from: encircle me on February 27, 2013, 01:23:03 PM
I believe that the standard "trans narrative" is simply that -- it's a story.
The most important part of my transition is giving myself an honest chance to be the person I feel like I am. I'm starting to accept the fact that I'm trans, independently from anyone else's standards.
Encircle makes a good point you shouldn't have to fit in a narrative someone else wrote you, I feel a person should strive to be who they feel they are not what others feel they should be.
Many women are into cars like that.
I go to a class full of them.
I'm pretty masculine in terms of interests and hobbies.
Personality and appearance wise I'm more feminine.
I think it's neither weird nor especially common. A lot of trans women I read about here have a "manly man" job. Cars, heavy industry, wood chopping, fridge moving...
It's not weird because there are many, and it's not common because it's far from a majority.
If anything, you're lucky, because with such tastes, you're free of any doubts you might have about being a guy who likes girls' things, for example. :p
There's more than one way to be a girl. Just because someone identifies as a girl doesn't mean that they have to suddenly want to be traditionally feminine. I still have a LOT of interests that I would consider to be masculine... but I'm not transitioning because I want to give those things up to pursue more feminine hobbies, I'm transitioning because I want to be a girl doing those things. That is who I am.
Some things will indeed change over time. It happens. But just let it come naturally. The point of transitioning is to become who you truly are, not just to trade one form of gender suppression, feeling pressured into doing only masculine things, for another, feeling pressured into doing only feminine things. Be yourself! That's what this is all about! And it's a beautiful thing when it finally happens!
I don't have a lot of manly hobbies but I am a gun nut. I wish I was Sarah Conner TBH.
My ex fixes her own motorbike, loves football & does DIY (when she can be bothered to drag her lazy ass off the settee).
In the early 90's I went to college to learn engineering & welding & we had a woman on the course, on the evenings she was very feminine but when she got on a lathe or welder she was better at it than most of the men, she could also run rings round most of the men when they started with the male banter.
Plenty of women have "male" interests, I find the whole idea of male/female interests to be very outdated.
If you like something then just do it, don't let outdated concepts rule your life
Um, if you think that liking cars makes you a man, then what do you have to say about this?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ironmagazine.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F07%2FIsabell_sample2.jpg&hash=3fe022d48b2f7fc60eed9486c853979884bf68c3)
Feel better?
I only really like girly stuff and only really ever have. I have the same amount of doubts as anyone else and probably a lot of the same ones.
Just part of life.
You look amazing and from what I have read of your posts I think you sound like a really cool gal too, so who cares what's normal. Is is normal to be so cool? lol :-) Who cares :-)
Steph :-)
x
Quote from: DianaP on February 27, 2013, 05:49:57 PM
Um, if you think that liking cars makes you a man, then what do you have to say about this?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ironmagazine.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F07%2FIsabell_sample2.jpg&hash=3fe022d48b2f7fc60eed9486c853979884bf68c3)
Feel better?
Eeeewwwwww
Quote from: MaidofOrleans on February 27, 2013, 06:52:14 PM
Eeeewwwwww
Hey, "manly" or otherwise, we're all beautiful in our own ways. :)
Quote from: lydia_s on February 27, 2013, 12:56:13 PM
Does this make me weird or is it somewhat common? I kinda feel like a misfit wherever I go.
No your not werid. There are plenty of girls into the same things as you. I loveee cars and working on them. I can't tell you how many guys think its hot. I get so many compliments. Bad ass chick car.
Heres my subie
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F857261_337546906355954_1566046292_o.jpg&hash=7c537f70383fbe6d5bb5a826ec22cbcbb5851da7)
Quote from: DianaP on February 27, 2013, 06:57:53 PM
Hey, "manly" or otherwise, we're all beautiful in our own ways. :)
uhhh no...still eeeewwww ;)
Quote from: MaidofOrleans on February 27, 2013, 09:34:07 PM
uhhh no...still eeeewwww ;)
Well, you'd be surprised as to how many guys are attracted to "manly" qualities in women. Like Alice said, these attributes yield lots of compliments.
Here's one that I heard from a guy looking at a women's bodybuilding poster:
"I'd tap that iron p***y." :o ???
Quote from: DianaP on February 27, 2013, 09:38:07 PM
Well, you'd be surprised as to how many guys are attracted to "manly" qualities in women. Like Alice said, these attributes yield lots of compliments.
Here's one that I heard from a guy looking at a women's bodybuilding poster:
"I'd tap that iron p***y." :o ???
ahem.....ewww
Quote from: MaidofOrleans on February 27, 2013, 11:05:03 PM
ahem.....ewww
I agree, definately ewww
but towards the op's post I peersonally battled with myself for a while because when I started out people would use what I enjoyed against me, so it made me feel as though because I liked this and not that, made me well question myself. But aas I learned there are a lot of female racer's mechanics, etc doing many traditional guy jobs, is there gender questioned about what they do? no, Do they get critisized for there interest's? Sometimes, usually alot of time's but do they give it up when they are criticised? No like most people who love something they try to do it better to throw it in the face of those who say they can't! Dont let what your hobbie's are influence what you think/know your are. Remember just because you like something that's not traditional doesnt mean your any less of a girl than the next.
Look at these people who buck'ed the system
Shirley mudowney (legendary drag racer) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Muldowney (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Muldowney)
Danica Patrick (Nascar racer/and indy)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danica_Patrick
Christmas Abbott (soon to be nascar pit crew!!) http://sports.yahoo.com/news/nascar--female-in-the-pits--christmas-abbott-is-set-to-enter-where-few-women-have-before-170207111.html (http://sports.yahoo.com/news/nascar--female-in-the-pits--christmas-abbott-is-set-to-enter-where-few-women-have-before-170207111.html)
and this site
http://femaleracingnews.com/ (http://femaleracingnews.com/)
see girls are everywhere in doing things that used to be traditional male roles, the truth is over the last 20 or so years the system has been changing where the traditional breadwinner was the man, its now becoming more of an equal and sometimes the woman is the bread winner.
So dont let people tell you girls dont like "XXXXX" because thats just a load of in "starwars term" poodoo gender -is -gender, hobbies-are-hobbies and they shouldnt be mixed up.
I hope this helps anyone
I like metal working, forest hiking, range shooting, hunting, fishing, wilderness survival, home improvement, fixing mechanical items, etc. etc. Very "manly" things. But when I came out to my closest friend, he had a feeling I was more female than male, despite all the contrary. So I really don't take hobbies in terms of female/male but rather something I can do, and if I can help it, do well. So I really don't think it's weird. Different things suit different people.
Quote from: lydia_s on February 27, 2013, 12:56:13 PM
it as long as I can remember, but there is virtually zero femininity in me as a person.
First of all: you're very honest!
You're most certainly not a misfit
in the MTF community and most certainly not weird
in the MTF community.It's completely normal
in the MTF community to have zero femininity in you as a person, in fact it's completely normal
in the MTF community to be (very, very) masculine by nature, yet claiming to be a woman.
Actually...you're a misfit in the MTF community when you're (very) feminine by nature with zero masculinity in you as a person and
not interested in fast cars, motorcycles, computers, shooting big guns, when you're not into masculine sports, when you're not (have been) an 'army girl' etc.
When you're not into women and never have been...
I'm talking about the MTF (internet) community...where the kind of things you write about are completely normal....but how do cis people/strangers in daily real life react to your hobbies and likings?
Seems a completely different matter to me.
Do people still react badly to girls with masculine hobbies where you are? I'm surprised. Here, people really don't care, and in general, men really LOVE girls who are in guys' stuff.
The injustice of society. Girl doing guys' stuff: "who cares", or even "so cool" or "so courageous". Guy doing girls' stuff: "lol, so gay", and "this is not a real guy".
Awesome, I feel better now. The question sparked the other day. I went into Harbor Freight to get a couple impact sockets. Ended up leaving with $200 worth of stuff because it's Harbor Freight and I'm addicted to tools. I went back to my friend's house to continue working on a VW Bus resto-mod (we're both m-f actually). Finally got spark after a complete redo of the ignition system (cap, rotor, plugs, wires, points, condenser, coil, and all the wiring). While doing this is I thought a lot, and it kinda occurred to me that all in all I'm quite a manly feller. After all, it wasn't even a year ago when I prided myself on my mustache.
I read a lot about trans issues in the news and stuff, and I've seen it on TV quite a few times. The one thing in common always tends to be that the person of subject "was never like the other boys" and was into girly things. Only knowing one other m-f, who is just about as masculine as I am now that I think of it, I felt like I was different from the norm. But thanks to all of you for setting it straight
And that picture....just....no.
Quote from: lydia_s on February 28, 2013, 05:23:08 PM
And that picture....just....no.
Well, you may not like it, but she probably does, so let's not judge, Ms. I-Love-Cars. :P
If it makes you feel even better, I want to become a firefighter and I stitched my foot closed without numbing medication when it got split in half. Thus, I'm not entirely "feminine" either. :laugh:
Quote from: DianaP on February 28, 2013, 05:45:30 PM
Well, you may not like it, but she probably does, so let's not judge, Ms. I-Love-Cars. :P
Ahh I know ;)
Quote from: DianaP on February 28, 2013, 05:45:30 PM
If it makes you feel even better, I want to become a firefighter and I stitched my foot closed without numbing medication when it got split in half. Thus, I'm not entirely "feminine" either. :laugh:
Wow! That I couldn't actually do. I'd freak out!
Quote from: lydia_s on February 28, 2013, 05:55:09 PM
Wow! That I couldn't actually do. I'd freak out!
Well, just wrap it in a pressure bandage, wait for the bleeding to stop, dump it in ice, heat a needle on the stove to sterilize it, get some thread, bite on a wooden block, and hope for the best. :P
I have enough "male traits" that people sometimes can't believe I want to transition. I just hate my body and ALL gender stereotypes.
I kinda feel like a weirdo after finding this site since most here seem to have a lot of "typical" masculine interests and such. I like watching sports when its the playoffs but only if it's a team from my city. I also like video games, not as much anymore but when i was a kid I lived for them. I've always liked fashion and stuff and certainly am not very masculine to say the least. My ex-fiance used to say I 'm a woman with a penis and most referred to us as lezbos. Now after coming here i feel out of place sometimes as I don't know the first thing about cars other than changing tires and batteries and abhor MMA--though it would be fun to do in person. Plus, I hear I'm rather a rarity as an MTF. But, as for you, there are plenty of girls who like cars and gaming and all that. Women do act a certain way though on a whole in reactions to stuff. But even that's not a rule.
Joanna, I often felt the same way as you. I have really never had any "masculine" hobbies or interests. So, I too have felt out of place at times. I have no interest in cars, computers, machines, video games, most sports, etc. Many of my hobbies and interests would be looked upon as more feminine: cooking, sewing, quilting, reading, gardening, running. When I came out as transgender it did not come as a surprise to many in some part because of this. Regardless, I don't think your interests or hobbies determine whether one is transgender or not. I guess I believe hobbies are more learned and part of the social culture one grows up in, rather being transgender is more or less how our brains have been wired.
I've dealt with this issue myself in a way. While I do have plenty of feminine traits, like I like fashion, love to watch romance, and generally am very girly in conversation, I'm a huge video game nut, and I work with music production. While videogames and all are becoming increasingly common for girls to like, music production seems to be an incredibly male dominated field. While I can think of a few females out there who can produce, they're also geniuses at what they do.
I would say rather than worry about whether your hobbies are feminine or not, just remember that you are a woman, and as women, we have a requirement to kick ass and show the men that we mean business. :)
...Just do whatever turns your crank. Don't worry about it being "too manly" or "too girlie" or whatever.
We don't have to justify what we like, or explain it to people who probably don't/won't understand anyway. Just blow 'em a kiss, and send them on their way.
:)
Quote from: DianaP on February 28, 2013, 06:22:27 PM
Well, just wrap it in a pressure bandage, wait for the bleeding to stop, dump it in ice, heat a needle on the stove to sterilize it, get some thread, bite on a wooden block, and hope for the best. :P
hardxxcore
Quote from: encircle me on March 01, 2013, 09:37:58 PM
hardxxcore
Hey, my family can't afford stitches, so I wasn't going to have my parents waste their money on them. :P
Oh, I'm a woman who's frugal. Who would've thought? ::) :P
Quote from: DianaP on March 01, 2013, 09:59:36 PM
Hey, my family can't afford stitches, so I wasn't going to have my parents waste their money on them. :P
Oh, I'm a woman who's frugal. Who would've thought? ::) :P
I approve.... there's something sexy about a woman who can DIY on a wound ;) maybe I'm just a weirdo?
oh, fun fact, 90% of my friends that are cis female enjoy videogames, shooting, cars, blah blah blah. This has in no way impeded their femininity.
I have a masculine personality. I probably don't like many of the stereotypical feminine things. I love most of the stereotypical male things. I don't think this matters much and is probably normal. The fact that I would rather sit down with a beer while watching Lakers basketball than going out with the women doesn't mean I'm weird or not trans or whatever.
I like to play basketball and video games and those are generally more masculine things to do and I like to consider myself a girly girl. :)
.
Quote from: tomthom on March 02, 2013, 08:01:16 PM
my friends that are cis female enjoy [...] shooting
Wait, what? 90% of your friends, never mind their gender, are into firearms?
...Not so sure about ever visiting the US again now. Scary.
I have a mix on both sides of the gender norms, but since gender roles are all bs, I don't let them sway me. On the male side I like computers and gaming. On the female side I like cooking and watching movies that make me cry. Right in the middle I like shooting pool... I guess this would could fall more on the male side in some cases, but not in my experience.
I look at it this way, you like what you like. I think the problem is alot of Trans* people try to keep to the more feminine end of the spectrum as it may help them be more accepted as female. Me Personally, I love Video games, RC Cars, Offroading, Anything automotive related. Doesn't make me any less of a woman for liking those things. I drive my Jeep Daily, whether I'm en fem or in guy mode, but its what I like. I also have 2000 S10 Pickup that will be getting a small block transplant at some point in the future, once again not very girly by society's standards, but that's on them. Just remember you are who you are, everyone is unique, has their own likes and dislikes. Whether you are a Transman, Transwoman, CiSman or Cis Woman. You are who you are and you should embrace that. Personally I think it would be funny once I am full time to show some gear heads up.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi160.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft171%2FBiohazed666%2F665978_4879347272385_1645088338_o_zps3b492654.jpg&hash=e5e85b4de42b6dfd77d46e91f0e7dfac8f6fff4d)
This my Jeep, I posted this because a picture is worth a 1000 words. Not very girly, more gender neutral if anything.
One of the best pieces of advice my therapist has given me when I questioned things like my love for cars, video games, etc was "Don't go from one stereotype to another. Just be yourself." I was born a male, and the world expects certain things from men that I don't align to. I identify as a woman, but that doesn't mean I need to be a barbie girl. I can be a woman who loves cars, video games, and any other interests that I love.
Quote from: A on March 04, 2013, 11:15:28 AM
Wait, what? 90% of your friends, never mind their gender, are into firearms?
...Not so sure about ever visiting the US again now. Scary.
It's recreational stuff withsmallcaliver rounds. No hunting. We don't enjoy killing when we know we aren't going to eat it.
Quote from: Jeepgirl90 on March 04, 2013, 03:03:35 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi160.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft171%2FBiohazed666%2F665978_4879347272385_1645088338_o_zps3b492654.jpg&hash=e5e85b4de42b6dfd77d46e91f0e7dfac8f6fff4d)
This my Jeep, I posted this because a picture is worth a 1000 words. Not very girly, more gender neutral if anything.
Nice XJ! What kind of work have you done to it?
My therapist says I over compensated being male because I have an ultra male job and an ultra male hobby. I realize I have succeeded in my ultra male job because I am Transgendered and I have done extreamly well in my hobby because it provideds ultimate safety and security; again another Transgendered need.
The things I do are really transgendered in root.
Another example is exercising with a 40 pound pack ( I would love to get to 50 lbms by summer) going up and down hills for 30 minutes a night. On the outside a male activity but it causes endorphins to be secreated ( feels good), I lost 25 pounds 11% body weight ( I was a BMI of 27 I need to recheck). I look better but I am also eating extreamly well and taking a lot of vitamine D3. I think about my transG issues when exercising and feeling good about myself and transferring the good feelings while exploring my trans personality issues. This is the only healthy way I know how to deal with, me be it male looking on the outside. Also my blood pressure is 105/63 ( calm) to 125/65 ( getting HRT initial interview) depending on circumstances.
Omg I feel like the minority here, i've never had many male interests growing up or now. The only male interest I had was video games and I don't even enjoy that anymore it just seems stupid to me now. I don't even know how to change a tire or change oil in my car. :laugh:
I just went through my browser cache and all I found where female orientated things like online clothing sites, fashion & makeup blogs, celebrity gossip magazines, female exercise routines, healthy cooking recipes, beauty & skin care products, facebook, twitter, instagram and of course transgender stuff.
Quote from: PoisonEnvy on March 04, 2013, 08:02:41 PM
I just went through my browser cache and all I found where female orientated things like online clothing sites, fashion & makeup blogs, celebrity gossip magazines, female exercise routines, healthy cooking recipes, beauty & skin care products, facebook, twitter, instagram and of course transgender stuff.
My Browser isn't much better .. alot of clothing and shoe stuff, Facebook, eBay, housewares, and Trans* stuff lol
Quote from: lydia_s on March 04, 2013, 05:33:57 PM
Nice XJ! What kind of work have you done to it?
4 1/2" Hybrid Rough Country/Teraflex Lift, you can see most of what is done, I don't want to hijack this thread so if you shoot me a PM I will run down everything I've done to that Jeep.
Quote from: tomthom on March 04, 2013, 04:45:29 PM
It's recreational stuff withsmallcaliver rounds. No hunting. We don't enjoy killing when we know we aren't going to eat it.
To be honest, the very concept of recreational use of a weapon... I'm not sure which is scarier: that or the hunter?
Quote from: A on March 04, 2013, 10:36:07 PM
To be honest, the very concept of recreational use of a weapon... I'm not sure which is scarier: that or the hunter?
I don't recall anyone insulting you or anybody else over their hobbies. If you don't understand it, then feel free to ask before passing judgements.
no no, it's fine. A, judging by the fact you seem to enjoy Japanese culture, is kendo not the same thing? Or fencing? Traiditonal Japanese longbow? It's really the same thing. we intend no hurt upon our "opponents" and simply wish to compete for a form of martial supremacy.
That and the sound a gun makes when fired is exhilarating. especially when you try new rounds. every single one of them gives you a different kick.
Quote from: tomthom on March 04, 2013, 11:25:03 PM
That and the sound a gun makes when fired is exhilarating. especially when you try new rounds. every single one of them gives you a different kick.
Not to mention the nostalgia of some of the older firearms. Shooting Grandpa's old .22 or bolt action brings back fond memories. Holding and actually being able to fire a WWII firearm is an honor and privilege.
also, if anyone says a gun is just "point and shoot," try hitting a moving target at 200 meters. it takes a lot of skill and getting used to the weight distribution to fire it properly and accurately.
I've always been interested in cars and bikes and still am. I've been straightening a dented door on my nephews' Camaro last week.