Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Jayr on February 28, 2013, 09:24:12 AM

Title: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: Jayr on February 28, 2013, 09:24:12 AM
Long ago I got 95% of the pictures others had posted off and erased.
Everyone was cool and understanding.

I woke up this morning, to find out this chick posted old pictures of us.
Almost died. Asked her to take them down and so far she won't.
I explained the situation and I even told her I could edit all her pictures for her.

The past is coming to haunt me..
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: spacerace on February 28, 2013, 07:28:06 PM
stuff like this is why facebook terrifies me

best of luck dealing with her. Does she have some reason not to be nice about it?

I don't even have any idea of how facebook works anymore, but can you just ask her not to tag you in the pictures?


Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: Jayr on February 28, 2013, 08:25:26 PM
This morning, she told me she didn't want to delete them when I asked nicely through private messaging.
Now I just came home and saw them still there, so I called her out publicly in the comments.

*After multiple people commented "Jay? In a dress?"*

I wrote;
Yeah and I'm not laughing. This morning, I asked nicely for this picture and the other one to be cropped. It makes me crazy uncomfortable to have pictures of me as a chick going around. How hard is it for people to understand. That goes for all of you.

Took her 30 seconds to delete them.

At first she only untagged me in the pictures, but I told her I wanted them deleted or cropped.
I even cropped them for her so she wouldn't have to do it, all she had to do was upload the new version.
At least now they are gone. But I'll be keeping a close eye on her future pictures.

I rarely post pictures on facebook, it's others that have old pictures of me that post them.
By having a facebook though I can somewhat track down those people and try to fix things.
Without a facebook I wouldn't be able to know what pictures of me are posted.



Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: sneakersjay on March 01, 2013, 11:20:48 AM
Because I know people on FB who knew me before, I have my settings such that if someone tags me in a photo, only I can see it.  That way, if someone decides to post an old pic of me from before, and tag me in it, people who do not know my status can't see it and wonder.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: FTMDiaries on March 01, 2013, 11:32:14 AM
Quote from: sneakersjay on March 01, 2013, 11:20:48 AM
Because I know people on FB who knew me before, I have my settings such that if someone tags me in a photo, only I can see it.  That way, if someone decides to post an old pic of me from before, and tag me in it, people who do not know my status can't see it and wonder.

How?

The only option I could see in FB's privacy settings was to control tagged photos appearing on your own timeline - but that doesn't affect other people's timelines. Maybe I just need more coffee... it's been a loooooong week. ;)
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: EmmaS on March 01, 2013, 11:35:46 AM
I'm really sorry to hear that :'( Hopefully they get taken down or something. I'm pretty worried about it as well, I have an ex who still has photos of her and I up and I have no idea how to approach her about taking them down because we ended on terrible terms.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: geek on March 01, 2013, 11:39:03 AM
Quote from: EmmaS on March 01, 2013, 11:35:46 AM
I'm really sorry to hear that :'( Hopefully they get taken down or something. I'm pretty worried about it as well, I have an ex who still has photos of her and I up and I have no idea how to approach her about taking them down because we ended on terrible terms.

you report the sh*t out of it to facebook and THEY take it down and warn them.


if she wont listen to reason.. theres always "to wanda"
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: EmmaS on March 01, 2013, 11:41:53 AM
Quote from: Geek on March 01, 2013, 11:39:03 AM
you report the sh*t out of it to facebook and THEY take it down and warn them.

Hmm, I should try that then, but I've heard that they usually won't take them down unless it's inappropriate and they may see nothing wrong with it since it's just normal photos. I know I can't tell her because we can't even have a civil conversation.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: geek on March 01, 2013, 11:47:30 AM
Quote from: EmmaS on March 01, 2013, 11:41:53 AM
Hmm, I should try that then, but I've heard that they usually won't take them down unless it's inappropriate and they may see nothing wrong with it since it's just normal photos. I know I can't tell her because we can't even have a civil conversation.

they did it for me when my <censored> ex wouldnt take mine down, so doesnt hurt to try :)
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: Elspeth on March 01, 2013, 11:58:29 AM
Quote from: spacerace on February 28, 2013, 07:28:06 PM
stuff like this is why facebook terrifies me

best of luck dealing with her. Does she have some reason not to be nice about it?

I don't even have any idea of how facebook works anymore, but can you just ask her not to tag you in the pictures?

Last time I checked you could remove tags at will. Has that changed now?

This is one of the reason I spent so many years behind cameras, there was a part of me that always knew this day was coming.  There are very, very few photos of me in guy mode to be shared anywhere... those that do exist are mostly several decades old, and many of those are at least a little androgynous.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: sneakersjay on March 01, 2013, 03:52:09 PM
Quote from: FTMDiaries on March 01, 2013, 11:32:14 AM
How?

The only option I could see in FB's privacy settings was to control tagged photos appearing on your own timeline - but that doesn't affect other people's timelines. Maybe I just need more coffee... it's been a loooooong week. ;)

TBH I set it before the timeline crap.  Fortunately I am not photographed and tagged, so  I don't know what would happen if someone tagged me on their own timeline.  I did see when I was poking around in the settings that you can always untag yourself, but I have never tried it.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: Natkat on March 01, 2013, 03:58:55 PM
your able to report the picture to facebook if you dont like it and she refuse to take if off.
the "tell her to remove it" is the less dramatic version of it.
at least she could crop it or something, so your not on the picture anymore.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: James42 on March 05, 2013, 10:02:58 PM
Quote from: Jayr on February 28, 2013, 08:25:26 PM
I rarely post pictures on facebook, it's others that have old pictures of me that post them.
By having a facebook though I can somewhat track down those people and try to fix things.
Without a facebook I wouldn't be able to know what pictures of me are posted.

not to be negative, but just as a fyi/heads up if you didn't already know, but people can post pictures of you and hide them so that everyone but you can see them, if they wanted to be that type of person.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: Jayr on March 05, 2013, 10:12:28 PM
I've thought about that, but I can't really do anything about it. I do what I can.
But that person would have to also hide it from ALL my friends and I doubt they could do that.
Geez that would be such a pathetic thing for someone to do though, wow.

I know you can show specific people certain things,
but how can you hide something from specific people?
Unless you block them a together of course.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: Cindy on March 06, 2013, 03:21:49 AM
People can I say something as a Web-mistress of another site but also as a Global Mod of this site and discussions that staff have.

NEVER EVER post stuff you don't want people to see, hear or read. If you do there are basically NO WAY of getting it removed. It will be channelled copied archived moved and then it has gone.
To be totally honest there is no way of being sure it has been removed. Oh BTW it is virtually impossible to remove stuff from your own hard drives, no matter what you think or are lead to believe. So be aware.

Just to be totally clear, Susan's bears no responsibility for what you post, be it a picture, a comment, an insult or telling the world that Dr X is a total incompetent fool who has injured you. When Dr X's lawyers subpoena the post it is theirs. Your problem.

I realise this maybe a particular problem for younger people using popular media, but be careful. We do get posts showing members of Susan's down and out and doing what they wish. They are banned from here, but they are in the public domain.  We get links to posts that are career killers, not our problem.

I employ and interview lots of people. We all scan FB, tumblr etc for people on our short lists. Many run police checks on people we employ depending who they are working with. I'll leave the question open, do we bother if a person comes up in a situation that is clearly embarrassing to the employment area?

Sorry just a general comment, and yes Jayr I do feel for you, but she now has access to those pics, for ever. You need to think of a way of dealing with the stuff that comes out. Like you may have to!

Oh murder isn't an option BTW and that was meant as a joke.

Cindy.

If people are worried about my comments and upset please post to Mods (and I) we are always willing to talk through stuff.

Hugs

Cindy
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: Jayr on March 06, 2013, 03:37:50 AM
I've never used my name online.
I go by Jay here but that's it and it's not even close to my actual first name.

I never gave those pictures to that girl, she took them herself from school.
Sadly I can't control every single picture people take off me and what they do with them.
Neither can anyone. I never get drunk or go to clubs for that reason.



Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: wheat thins are delicious on March 06, 2013, 10:12:48 PM
Quote from: Jayr on March 05, 2013, 10:12:28 PM
how can you hide something from specific people?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.tinypic.com%2Foeqvl.png&hash=c35b7a49734098e4d589acf116443bdd0cb68d1c)

When you go to upload something you click the little Earth (it says public next to it), then click the gear that says custom next to it.  Then you can write people's names in the "don't share this with" section.
Title: Re: Facebook Pictures.
Post by: castle91 on March 07, 2013, 01:23:33 AM
Ah, remembering how much work it was to clean up my profile and the profile of everyone close to me...
I've had people (not recently, but yeah) try to write on my wall, "Hey *insert old name* miss you!"

Extremely frustrating. Cannot delete those posts quickly enough.