Like move away to somewhere where nobody ever knew your birth gender and people would just treat you like any other cis person? I'm just tired of nobody understanding or trying. People who say they'll see me different after I've had surgeries, or who say I should be flattered when people call me pretty and not angry and deflated. People who scrutinize every word I say, but can't be bothered to try and monitor their own language. People who think I'll get over it and that this is some kind of phase. Sorry if this is really whiny, but I'm just so done. I don't know why, but it's so much harder to tolerate it all after coming out.
How well are you 'passing'? I've found it's a lot easier for people who knew you before once you look and sound undeniably male.
I feel like this a lot of the time. I love my friends and family, they are supportive but I really like traveling. I don't think I have ever wanted to stay settled in one place, even when I was engaged. There is a very appealing call to get lost somewhere in a place I am not known, but I would still like contact with the people I love.
Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 28, 2013, 09:52:16 PM
How well are you 'passing'? I've found it's a lot easier for people who knew you before once you look and sound undeniably male.
I pass pretty well, and when I'm around strangers I get treated like a guy, but to my friends and family it's not that different because I was passing before I even came out, if that makes sense. I've been blurring the lines for quite some time. I still sound female though, can't make my voice drop :(
I feel like wandering too. Thought about studying abroad. But I have a long way to go before that can happen :-\
Quote from: Darkflame on February 28, 2013, 09:45:43 PM
Like move away to somewhere where nobody ever knew your birth gender and people would just treat you like any other cis person? I'm just tired of nobody understanding or trying. People who say they'll see me different after I've had surgeries, or who say I should be flattered when people call me pretty and not angry and deflated. People who scrutinize every word I say, but can't be bothered to try and monitor their own language. People who think I'll get over it and that this is some kind of phase. Sorry if this is really whiny, but I'm just so done. I don't know why, but it's so much harder to tolerate it all after coming out.
i have felt this way before. for some this is a perfect fit. i mean if your leaving nothing and no one behind why not. but for me there are people that care/support me and need me. i cant leave. i guess life is funny like that. your post is not whinny. sometimes it takes people a while or a long time to come around and some never do. all i can say is do whatever you feel is right for you.time apart could do you all well.
Quote from: Darkflame on February 28, 2013, 10:43:32 PM
Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 28, 2013, 09:52:16 PM
How well are you 'passing'? I've found it's a lot easier for people who knew you before once you look and sound undeniably male.
I pass pretty well, and when I'm around strangers I get treated like a guy, but to my friends and family it's not that different because I was passing before I even came out, if that makes sense. I've been blurring the lines for quite some time. I still sound female though, can't make my voice drop :(
Well that could be it. You don't look that different to them and they got used to still seeing you as female despite your appearance. Maybe they just need time.
Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 28, 2013, 10:56:11 PM
Well that could be it. You don't look that different to them and they got used to still seeing you as female despite your appearance. Maybe they just need time.
I hope so. And T, I hope that helps make it all real for everyone :P
I feel like that sometimes too. Not always just to get away to start life over as a male, but sometimes it's other reasons too. I think it'd just be nice sometimes to start fresh in a new place. Not just to leave everything behind, I can still keep some ties, but I've just always had this calling to pack up and go somewhere far far away, there's just always been this pit in my that yearns for some kind of adventure in a faraway place.
Want to pack up and move to New Mexico together? :D
I think about that all the time. I also think about how nice it would be to be reborn as a female, or how much better it would have been if I knew about the effects on hormones on my body and started taking female hormones before I hit puberty.
I kinda am starting fresh. I used to be a traveler and most of my friends continued to travel while I settled down. So I don't have any friends close to home. I would rather have friends here though and have people be supportive, but not get it, than having nobody here and trying to do everything on my own.
I've always had a desire to go somewhere else and start fresh, but it is not related to this whole genderythingamabob. I mean, I'd probably end up outing myself casually in various conversations anyway. But yeah. Starting fresh would be cool.
Yeah, I totally feel you.
I've wanted to get away and move somewhere where people do not know me as well. Maybe Quebec or something, lol.
The only thing that is holding me back is my voice, and my friends. I would be leaving behind the very place that I grew up in... But I'm sick of the weather in my province. All rain in ten months of the year! :(
But life goes on, I suppose. We should be able to live in any community that would make us feel absolutely comfortable! If I had the choice, I would probably move to either Easter Island, or Tahiti!
You know, I might study abroad in Australia, to get my creative writing degree, if that's what I choose to do with my life :-\ (Australia seems to have the best writing programs) but if I do, maybe I'll live there for a while. I've always wanted to get away from the town I grew up in, at the least I'll end up living in Toronto or Mississauga, a little more liberal and big-city-ish for my taste. But if I do end up getting my degree at Queensland, maybe I'll stay for a while ;) Like, not lose contact with back home, more like talk sporadically and come home for the holidays :P
I always kind of imagined I'd be like a gypsy when I was growing up, never settling down in one place moving to a new city/country every couple of years. Like, my family thought I'd be that way too. I remember my mom saying something to the effect of "You're just going to move all over the place going to different cities starting new lives and getting with a new girl every five seconds cause you're a commitment phobe and a hippie, so why do you care if they legalize gay marriage when you're never going to settle down" (the conversation leading up was hilarious btw XD)
Problem is that I have complete dependence on the mental health system in Ontario and they don't really work well with my hippie nature :-\ can't move wherever the wind takes me when I need to have a prescribing psychiatrist. Even if I get my life pretty together I'll still always have bipolar and that means the notion of "stability" and "structure" my psychiatrist seems to think I need (which I do, but how boring is that :P) and drugs. can't get lithium without a steady prescribing doc.
This thread and all the responses is making me remember my wandering gypsy dreams :P