Every time I think everything is going on track something comes a long and pushes me back. I was with the gender clinic about a year ago and on our 3rd assessment (I was meant to have 6 in total) the doctor there decided to discharge me. He said I definitely had gender dysphoria and that transitioning would be right for me but he wasn't happy for me to do it yet. I've been with a mental health team for a while in regards to some rather complex mental health issues I have. He didn't feel I was stable enough to handle transitioning yet and wanted me to come back in a year.
I was devastated to say the least, mainly because I knew I was stable and because a year seemed like an eternity. To be honest I am kind of thankful now because that year has given me time to change my name, come out to people at college and be male in college, change the name on my ID, use male bathrooms, etc so I've been living full time as male for ages now and it's made me realise how much I need this. Before I started living full time I had my doubts. I didn't doubt I was male but I doubted transitioning because I was scared but now that I've done the hard parts I couldn't need this anymore than I do.
The doctor at the gender clinic promised I would be on the top of the waiting list when I come back and both my psychiatrist and GP have re-referred me saying that I'm perfectly stable now. However I received a letter saying they were treating this as "a new referral". I don't really know what that means.
They said they require all the millions of blood tests I had to do before as well as a physical before allowing me back. I'm okay with that although I'd rather not have to do it. What I'm scared about is if by a new referral this means they can't honor the promise that I'll be on the top of the waiting list then I could be waiting god knows how long to start T. I was hoping to start by May so that come September I'll start to look more masculine for university. That was meant to be the start of a new life for me. Also people still refer to me with female pronouns and my female name and it upsets me so much because I know they won't stop until they see me as more masculine. I can't wait 6+ months to start T. I've waited long enough.
I guess what annoys me as well is the misery from being female bodied and being read as female contributes to my bad mental health. What if I take a bad turn and they say I'm not stable again when it's the fact I'm not male enough yet that's bringing me down?
From what you have said, I would say that you've been cheated. If he's putting you in as a new referral it means that every session you've been through there already is brought back to zero.
Personally I would never go back to that as*****, he's not treating you properly. I would go to the higher ups and make a complaint. That Dr has the right to tell you that you shouldn't transition if you have complex underlying issues; but he also has the right to help you through those issues as opposed to just letting you go.
If he couldn't help you, he should have referred you to another psychologist along with his notes on your sessions.
Have you rung the GIC to ask why it's been marked as a new referral rather than being at the top of the list as promised? It could be as simple as an admin error. Or maybe they're just overwhelmed with new cases: it's been a busy year because a lot more people are seeking help because of all the trans documentaries that were on the telly last year.
If you can afford it, you could see one of the therapists privately before you get in the NHS clinic. It costs up to £200 per session, depending on the therapist. Yes, they can refer you to endos & prescribe T.
Also, bear in mind that (at least at some GICs) they tend to tailor the treatment according to the needs of the patient. You've already done a lot of the RLE stuff and if they're willing to take that into account, you may get on hormones quicker than you think. But it does depend on you and on the doctor.
"We have received an updated referral to your above named patient....We discussed this referral at our team referral meeting and we feel we need to see this client as a new referral"
So no. I doubt it's an admin error. I've asked my support worker- the one I have within the mental health team I am with- if she can ring up and ask them about it. I'm hoping they just want updated blood work to see if anything has changed seeing as it's been a year. I'm hoping that doesn't mean they will remove my place on the waiting list. I also hope they will only need one session to see that I am ready for this as I have done everything that is required. Thankfully my support worker will come with me to back me up once I actually get an appointment.
I don't know if it's worth complaining about anything yet. The earliest I can get a blood test is the 15th which I guess isn't far away but it feels like a lifetime right now. I figure whether I'm at the top of the list or not they'll need those blood tests. If after we get in contact with the clinic and they end up telling me I have to wait however many months then I might put in a complaint as I was promised I didn't need to do that.
If you look at this from a slightly different perspective, it might actually be a positive thing that they want to see you as a new referral.
Sounds to me like their referral team has been through your notes and concluded that they didn't do the job right last time because they weren't equipped to help you with your previous mental health issues before you could safely transition. Now that you've been given the all-clear, they want to tread carefully this time to make sure they can help you transition. The last thing they want is to send you away again (which they know would be detrimental to your health) so that you'd have to start again some time in the future.
So maybe it's actually a positive thing. It's annoying that it seems you might have to wait a bit longer, but if they're trying make sure they do it right this time then surely that's the best outcome for you in the long term?
They will have your notes from last time. I take it you'll go in with evidence of your name change etc. and your support worker will no doubt back you up, so you'll be able to show evidence of your RLE. So it's unlikely that they'll want to start you waaay back at the beginning again.
Yeah I understand that. The only concern I really have is how long it will take me to get an appointment. If it turns out they can't put me at the front of the list then I will be annoyed because then no doubt it will be quite a few months before I get in. I pass about 80% of the time as I am but I wanted to be able to start uni looking more masculine, slightly deeper voice, etc. It'll be obvious I'm trans if I go with a girly sounding voice that suddenly becomes more and more manly over time. I just wanted to start fresh where no one knows who I am or that I am trans.
I understand. Perhaps you could ask your support worker to ask them how long the waiting time will be for an appointment, bearing in mind this was supposed to be an urgent, top-of-the-waiting-list referral.
Just to update I received another letter today. It says that the referrals have gone through and I'm now on the waiting list. It says they can only see 79 people a year and their financial year runs from April 2013 to March 2014 so either way I can't get in till April but that's okay. However if I'm not allowed at the top of the list what if I can't get it til March 2014! After all my referral has only just gone in. I can't wait that long. That's gonna kill me.
We've tried to ring up but haven't been able to get through yet.
Quote from: MRH on March 07, 2013, 05:14:36 AM
Just to update I received another letter today. It says that the referrals have gone through and I'm now on the waiting list. It says they can only see 79 people a year and their financial year runs from April 2013 to March 2014 so either way I can't get in till April but that's okay. However if I'm not allowed at the top of the list what if I can't get it til March 2014! After all my referral has only just gone in. I can't wait that long. That's gonna kill me.
Once you do manage to get through to them, ask your support worker to determine whether you'll be seen this year or next. If it's next year, you might have to either consider an alternative GIC, or if possible save up to get started on HRT with a private gender therapist.
Are there any other GICs within a reasonable distance of where you live? Would you be able/willing to travel elsewhere if you could be seen faster? If so, you might want to get your support worker to ring around and find out what the various waiting times are, then get your doctor to change your referral.
It might also help you to know this: I spoke to my PCT and asked them whether they'd fund private treatment for gender dysphoria if the waiting list at the GIC was too long. They said they do pay for it, but only if I agree it with them first. So if the GIC wants you to wait ages, you might want to contact a private therapist and get their prices, then call your PCT and ask them how to go about getting funding for it. It may be quicker; my PCT approves funding for gender dysphoria within 5 working days of receiving the application, and most private therapists can see you within a couple of weeks.
So please don't be disheartened; even if they plan to put you on the 2014 list there are still alternative avenues you can try.
Quote from: MRH on March 07, 2013, 05:14:36 AM
We've tried to ring up but haven't been able to get through yet.
Yup, know that particular situation very well indeed. It's best to ring them at odd times, like 11:20am; it seems you catch them by surprise and they actually answer the phone. ;)
Well just as I thought. They can't see me until this time next year....I don't know what to do, I really don't.
Sorry to hear that. :(
Now's the time to ring around the other GICs and see whether their waiting times are any shorter, then see whether your GP can refer you there instead. GD is covered by the NHS's 18-week target for treatment but they're trying to conveniently forget about that target so that they can save cash.
Also, ask your support worker to ring your PCT to ask about funding for a private gender therapist. Mine will pay for it on a case-by-case basis; it wouldn't hurt to ask yours. Nothing gets a PCT moving faster than asking them to fund expensive private treatment to which you're entitled. ;) You can find the contact details for your PCT here: http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories/pages/primarycaretrustlisting.aspx (http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories/pages/primarycaretrustlisting.aspx)
If you can't get PCT funding, you may need to save up to see someone privately. They charge between £150-£200 per session (plus the same again for an Endo), depending on who you see. But you could see them within a few weeks and they can put you on T if it is medically appropriate to do so.
Please don't give up hope; there are still a few avenues you can go down. And you will get the treatment you need.