Words That Make Us Ugly
Posted: 03/08/2013 12:56 pm
Renato Barucco
(Transgender Family Program Manager at Community Healthcare Network)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/renato-barucco/words-that-make-us-ugly_b_2831907.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/renato-barucco/words-that-make-us-ugly_b_2831907.html)
It is hard to separate words from a terrible past.
This is a challenge.
Not a lecture, a debate, or a dissertation.
It's a pledge. The pledge of refusing these words.
Not solely to be good people, or to be culturally competent, or out of fear.
But because these words are ugly and chances are that -- in a Dostoyevskian act of faith -- beauty will save the world, not ugliness. These words will not disappear, but by consciously ignoring them, we reclaim the vastness of human intellect.
No n-word. No f-word. No c-word.
No t-word. Honor the complexity of experiences within the transgender spectrum; stories that are infinitely more significant than a six-letter word often used to describe what's eccentric, awkward, and trashy.
No d-word. Even if successfully and powerfully reappropriated by lesbian communities, this word reportedly accompanies homophobic and misogynistic attacks in still too many cases. Lesbian minds, unions, identities and struggles deserve well more than this.
No h-word. Scientifically and clinically problematic, this term is incorrectly used to describe individuals who are intersex. Although many people quite honestly don't know the reason, brief Google searches can explain why the h-word is stigmatizing.
That is a pledge I can take.
I'll not use these words in the Forum or in my daily life. Who else?
I'm in! Piece of Cake! ;D
I'm onboard! Hugs, Devlyn
The article contains a couple more, including "retard."
I assume the m-word is "midget". I guess?
I'm not really certain what the "c-word" is, but imagine it's not one I use anyway.
Admittedly, I kinda thought "Oh F@#k!" at the f-word, before it sunk in.
My worst problem with some of them is that they are used so often they have become BORING and show how little thought goes into both speech and writing. I already try to avoid them like the plague.
Easy for me to agree not to use the words.
Right on sisters.
Quote from: Sadie May on March 09, 2013, 06:36:25 PM
I'm not really certain what the "c-word" is, but imagine it's not one I use anyway.
Admittedly, I kinda thought "Oh F@#k!" at the f-word, before it sunk in.
The "C-word" is a vulgar term for vagina.
Quote from: Jamie D on March 09, 2013, 07:28:15 PM
The "C-word" is a vulgar term for vagina.
Thanks - I considered as much, but it didn't seem in the same category as the others.
I thought it meant people who struggle with day to day issues in the kitchen.......the culinarily challenged!
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 09, 2013, 07:34:39 PM
I thought it meant people who struggle with day to day issues in the kitchen.......the culinarily challenged!
And there ya go - calling names!
Quote from: Jamie D on March 09, 2013, 07:28:15 PM
The "C-word" is a vulgar term for vagina.
My wife used that word on a woman that was having a tantrum at the checkout counter and was giving the lady clerk a difficult time. I was astounded but had to grin as she was correct in her assessment and it was completely warranted. You could have heard a pin drop.
Count me in too!
Well, it would help if I knew what the letters stood for. Can only guess a few of the obvious ones.
Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on March 09, 2013, 08:22:13 PM
Well, it would help if I knew what the letters stood for. Can only guess a few of the obvious ones.
I will use dictionary links, that hopefully won't trigger safesearch. For two I just substitutions because I know they cause safe search problems.
Here are dictionary definitions of the 8 hurtful words for people:
N-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bigger) change the b to an n in the link
F-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-%3E-bleeped-%3C-got)
C-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bunt) change the b to a c in the link
T-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-%3E-bleeped-%3C-)
D-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dyke)
H-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/hermaphrodite)
R-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/retard)
M-word (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/midget)
Put 'em all together and you don't have a darn thing. There are no vowels.
Quote from: Sadie May on March 09, 2013, 09:08:49 PM
Put 'em all together and you don't have a darn thing. There are no vowels.
Let's rearrange them!
C-word
M-word
T-word
H-word
F-word
R-word
N-word
D-word
Now we're getting somewhere! Hugs, Devlyn
There are plenty of other ugly words out there. It is not my intention to be part of the word police, and profanity edits on the site will continue, but we can still strive to have a civil society, one person at a time.
Thanks for all who have, or will, take the pledge. :)
"and profanity edits on the site will continue"
:police: Durn tootin' they will!
wait, but the "R-word" (wow I feel like a child censoring myself from that) is simply the correct medical term to describe an aberration of the physical or mental state. like my toes for instance are slightly malformed in a more simian than normal fashion. It is proper term to describe them. or if your fire proof something you can refer to it as such. Isn't it better to reclaim these words rather than reduce our vocabulary? Just like the term queer was reclaimed?
I'm close to the subject. Mentally challenged is the preferred term. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 09, 2013, 09:52:14 PM
"and profanity edits on the site will continue"
:police: Durn tootin' they will!
Yeah - this really cramps my style: darn's dark brother is just part of the local vernacular... and countless westerns aside, you just can't say "darn" with the same drawl. ;)
Quote from: tomthom on March 09, 2013, 09:53:38 PM
wait, but the "R-word" (wow I feel like a child censoring myself from that) is simply the correct medical term to describe an aberration of the physical or mental state. like my toes for instance are slightly malformed in a more simian than normal fashion. It is proper term to describe them. or if your fire proof something you can refer to it as such. Isn't it better to reclaim these words rather than reduce our vocabulary? Just like the term queer was reclaimed?
"Retard" is no longer part of the medical jargon. When used as a noun to describe someone, it is disparaging. That is the point of the article.
Of course, you have freedom of speech. It think this is more about taking personal responsibility for what we say.
eh, I know plenty of people that still use it medically in my area. I am technically mentally and physically deficient in some aspects, but I've never been offended by the word. Who knows, maybe I'm a special case and this just doesn't have the capacity to bother me.
Quote from: tomthom on March 09, 2013, 10:20:15 PM
eh, I know plenty of people that still use it medically in my area. I am technically mentally and physically deficient in some aspects, but I've never been offended by the word. Who knows, maybe I'm a special case and this just doesn't have the capacity to bother me.
You will, no doubt, provide links to some of these medical works?
medical works? I said people... as in they say it in person.
anyway, I'm just gonna scoot on out of this topic. I'm just going to be bothered by it eventually.
Good comments from KKut I concur. I think this thread is well intended but kind of stupid.
that was pretty much my sentiment, but lately it feels like I'm walking on eggshells in this community.
Quote from: kkut on March 10, 2013, 09:28:35 AM
I'm not offended by any word if it's used in proper context. I'm sure there are some that feel certain words no longer have proper context, that's fine, I personally don't. But there has to be proper context if you're going to define the banned words yes?
Any word that takes the place of a banned word, will be turned into a pejorative at some point and it too will require banning. I think this becomes unworkable.
I want people to speak their mind to me. I want to know who people are. For example, I believe Germany made it illegal to deny the occurance of the Holocaust. Well, I want to know if someone thinks it didn't occur. I'd kind of like to keep those people out of my life.
A lot of young kids have fought and died for our right to free speech. I'll gravitate towards people and ideas that respect that right even in extreme cases.
I get the point of the pledge, do I pledge not to use these words to hurt others? Not possible, it's too late, did that years ago.
kkut, I more often than not agree with your posts, and I am at heart a civil libertarian.
But this is not about enforcing speech codes, or infringing on fundamental rights.
It is about being polite versus crude and vulgar. That's all.
"a form of speech code via shaming and ostracism"
Hmmmm... sort of like that which exists by usage of the words?
People are, of course, free to run their mouths as they see fit - I would never want to see that right (in the constitutional sense) diminished. But I have no problem if folks experience negative consequences as the result of exercising that right in an uncivil manner.
when we use the words we aren't telling you to use them. while conversely you're trying to "take an honorable pledge" which insinuates we are somewhat lesser for using them.
In my opinion it's the reciever's responsibility to properly tell if the word is being used properly, as an insult, or as something else. These are basic social cues that should be learned in pubescence.