So lately ive been feeling a tad lonely in transition. Its not because i have no friends but because I only know one person who is trans who is pre transitional. Id love to talk to another college age girl whose going through the process to have an experienced friend who can help. I was fortunately told by my therapist that another girl will be going to a monthly group meeting tomorrow. There are other women there but theyre older than me unfortunately so its tough to relate. Also the glbt clubs i go to all the trans people there my age are guys. Transition for me otherwise is going rather well albeit lonely. Guess im just trying to outreach here because id just love to talk to someone around my age whose in college.
Well, I'm not anywhere near your area, but if you want to talk, I sure don't mind. Though in many domains you might be disappointed by my lack of experience. :p
Anyway, I'm very lonely too, being heartbroken and having only one friend (online of course), the same person, who I haven't seen in weeks without an explanation.
I can totally relate. I have some people I see ever now and then, but I generally am alone and don't go anywhere.
Unfornately at your age there is this impressiuon that anyone who is older, I'm 30 and I know I would seem old to you, you can't relate to. I had this same mindset when I was in college. Most do. After college, in your mid-20s, age ceases to matter so much for whatever reason. I think it has a lot to do with High School and for 12 years focusing on age, i.e. grade 1, 2 ,3,...12. It's tough to let that go but it does go away. Sometimes being lonely is good too. It allows you to grow as a person. The people I know who are relationship hoppers and are never ever alone are very immature. Humans were designed to spend large periods ofd time isolated. Hence our imaginations. Think back to the 1700s, I bet people then never knew more than a couple people and never went more then a couple miles in any one direction (most people). The steam engine changed all that but it was only 200 years ago and as a species we are a million years old with about 6,000 years of history. Sorry for the tangent I guess that doesn't help much. The other thing is you should enjoy yor 20s I always had friends then and as of right now I haven't talked to anyone since Saturday. I generally go days at a time without saying a word. I'm also starting over though so I don't mind much.
I'm in my mid-20s and I would offer to be your friend, but I'm no longer in college. I don't know if that's a real deal-breaker for you or not.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 11, 2013, 01:13:09 PM
Unfornately at your age there is this impressiuon that anyone who is older, I'm 30 and I know I would seem old to you, you can't relate to. I had this same mindset when I was in college. Most do.
I go back and forth on this. I'm 27 now, but growing up I did generally prefer to have older friends. For me it tends to be limited by interests and demeanor; I prefer serious or deep conversation topics, but dislike airs of importance or the inability to be wacky. I admit I do feel a little awkward if I hang out with someone much, much older (12+ years) -- they tend to bear down on me and carry this notion of superior experience. It can be exhausting. .. I'm not really sure what the point of me saying this was, maybe that not everyone shuns older friends, but you did say "most." Also, you really do look like Joanna Dark. I think that's really awesome.
Honestly i know age is a number but still being in school and just starting your life is a lot and a different experience. When out of college it will start just becoming yet another number. Its only a bit tough since i dont really know anyone in person. Its hard to relate to people who already have careers and even families.
I was a loner long before I transitioned. I actually talk to people more now than I ever did in my old life.
Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 12:36:43 PM
So lately ive been feeling a tad lonely in transition. Its not because i have no friends but because I only know one person who is trans who is pre transitional. Id love to talk to another college age girl whose going through the process to have an experienced friend who can help. I was fortunately told by my therapist that another girl will be going to a monthly group meeting tomorrow. There are other women there but theyre older than me unfortunately so its tough to relate. Also the glbt clubs i go to all the trans people there my age are guys. Transition for me otherwise is going rather well albeit lonely. Guess im just trying to outreach here because id just love to talk to someone around my age whose in college.
I understand loneliness but you should really give group a try even though there all older than you. Since I been going to group I have met some very interesting people a lot of which are older than me. Just because someone is older doesn't mean you can't have things in common. :)
Honestly i know age is a number but still being in school and just starting your life is a lot and a different experience. When out of college it will start just becoming yet another number. Its only a bit tough since i dont really know anyone in person. Its hard to relate to people who already have careers and even families.
Quote from: Heather on March 11, 2013, 01:41:09 PM
I understand loneliness but you should really give group a try even though there all older than you. Since I been going to group I have met some very interesting people a lot of which are older than me. Just because someone is older doesn't mean you can't have things in common. :)
Definitely have been trying. Last time i was there i spoke to a couple other guys and an older women. It went well but unfortunately im very nervous meeting new people lol
Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:09:06 PM
Honestly i know age is a number but still being in school and just starting your life is a lot and a different experience. When out of college it will start just becoming yet another number. Its only a bit tough since i dont really know anyone in person. Its hard to relate to people who already have careers and even families.
I'm 34 and I can't relate to people with careers and family's. :laugh:
Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:11:20 PM
Definitely have been trying. Last time i was there i spoke to a couple other guys and an older women. It went well but unfortunately im very nervous meeting new people lol
In the past I was a bit shy about meeting people too. But actually since starting hormones I'm finding it way more easy to meet new people.
I hope the introductions of hormones helps my shyness. Honestly i ha e so much on my mind with these hormones like how will i be reacting to them as my doses increase to whether ill see results or not. Guess i need to make more of an effort just to talk to people.
Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:33:49 PM
I hope the introductions of hormones helps my shyness. Honestly i ha e so much on my mind with these hormones like how will i be reacting to them as my doses increase to whether ill see results or not. Guess i need to make more of an effort just to talk to people.
At least you have the ability to get hormones...I don't.
Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:33:49 PM
I hope the introductions of hormones helps my shyness. Honestly i ha e so much on my mind with these hormones like how will i be reacting to them as my doses increase to whether ill see results or not. Guess i need to make more of an effort just to talk to people.
Part of it could be hormones. But I think the biggest factor is I'm no longer ashamed of who I am. And I just feel like I want to be around people now.
Quote from: Heather on March 11, 2013, 02:39:42 PM
Part of it could be hormones. But I think the biggest factor is I'm no longer ashamed of who I am. And I just feel like I want to be around people now.
I was always shy, something that i gotta really work on if im to make it through this all well
Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:48:43 PM
I was always shy, something that i gotta really work on if im to make it through this all well
The funny thing is when I was a kid I was not shy at all. But as I got older I became more and more shy. But now I'm kind of going back to the way I was when I was a kid. :o
Quote from: Sybil on March 11, 2013, 01:26:19 PM
Also, you really do look like Joanna Dark. I think that's really awesome.
Aww thank you so much. You made my day. I love her. And now i am her. Ha! And yeah I totally agree that 12 + years is a break point. I tend to think if you go 7 years in either direction friend-wise, you'll find something in common. I mean anyone who is 33 and younger on this board technically a millennial so there's that. I Believe Gen X ended in '74. My sister and brothers are Gen X and I have trouble relating to them except the brother who is three years older than me.
I hung out once with this guy who was about nine years older than me and we got along great. I really miss him in fact. This was like 4 years ago and I was 26-27 and he was like 36ish. But I guess in general, friends that are four years apart orr less is prob the best since you'll have a lot more ciultural experiences in common.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 11, 2013, 03:14:13 PM
I mean anyone who is 33 and younger on this board technically a millennial so there's that.
I just turned 34 what does that make me? And you do look like Joanna Dark. :)
Quote from: Heather on March 11, 2013, 03:23:50 PM
I just turned 34 what does that make me? And you do look like Joanna Dark. :)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi845.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab11%2Fxmandeh%2F14jyfdj_zps1fae2ca9.gif&hash=cade8a70cbc1dce0e1fd5b4b62f49948a3bffb58)
Excuse me. Was that mean for Heather? Not cool and against the TOS.
definitely a millennial here, only 21 years and a number of months old. glad i was able to start young:D
Heather I think you'd be a Milennnial, depending on your experiences. If you're up beat, which you are, Millenial. Gen-X ended in 74 so that's like four and half years about before you were born. Generations a just a bunch of people with shared cultural experiences. I'm not sure what GenY is. So maybe we are both that but I always thought it was the same thing as a millenial. As far as that one poster, how rude. Plus bizarre. Maybe an explanation sayadda?
Generation X, a synonym of millenial generation, is a pretty wide group of people, born between the early 1980's or the late 1970's (depending on the commentator) and the early 2000s.
I was never a big fan of those generalisations though. That would almost put me in the same generation as my mother.
I tend to think of people as "of my generation" if they weren't born, or were too young, to take part in the strange fashions of the 1980s and the early 1990's. Someone who listened to the b... unique songs of the 80's willingly, contemporarily and as an adult is definitely not of my generation. Or if they lived long in the period when it was okay to smoke everywhere and all the time. Or if they were adults when they first used the Internet.
Though it makes me feel old to say that those who were born with computers roughly in their modern state (say, 2000-2004 and later) are probably no longer of my generation. Because mentally, on many points, it feels like I never got past 12 years old.
I agree that generations take in a wide variety of people. But Gen X is supposed to have ended in 1974 and Millenials are from 1980 onward. What about those in the six years between 74 and 80? In Anthpology, the define it as a group of people with a shared set of cultural experiences. I agree to a point with your analysis except it is too narrow. There'd be a new generation every five to ten years. I didn't participate in 80s fashion as I was a baby but I was a teen in the 90s. But then I have zero in common with someone born in say 1996. I think the Milennial generation should end around 1996. Ad Age came up with the term Millenial and used it to define teens in 1993 who were very different in their thoughts then Gen X. I don't think there's really an answer. The one thing I do know is I know Gen Xers and we have nothing in common from music to politics to dress to behavior. Being in your 20s and 30s is still quite young and I imagine any differences I have with someone who may be 15 know will be much less 15 years from now where my differences with Gen X will they will be on SS and I'll be in the workforce for another 20 years. I still have like 36 working years left. That seems like an awful lot. Thankfully, I won't be a man for it. HA!
Teens relate to teens, people in their 20's relate to others in their 20's, 30's relate to 30's and 40+ relate to 40+. There are different expectations and things you go trough at different ages, so you need to find people in your same age group. Your goals and what you want in life also matters quite a bit on your age, so yet again, you need to have friends in the same age group.
That's how simple it is...
:'( Wow.. I didn't feel old, at 45, and useless till I read this thread. I think it just schooled me as to what I had heard refered to as the 'I' generation. Funny I had never looked at age and friendship as being exclusive or dependant of or to each other. I have helped many TG's younger then my self as well as those that were well over 20 plus years to me and in that process became good friends. This may be apples and oranges though concerning someones stage into transition or awareness verses social interaction within an age demographic. I'm happy just to not be alone anymore.. even if I have not meet all of those people I call friends in person. shrugs.. Gadgets and information exchange used may change over time but I don't think the base human experience does.. The pressures of each phase of our lives, school, college, relationships and work still remain the same. I would believe it's more of a social conditioning, spending so much time around those the same age during the first 20 years, that makes one think that someone older or younger could not understand or relate. Or I'm senile; in which case rush me off to the nursing home as my usefullness has expired and before I start telling stories of TopHat, 1235, Slither, Twilight Zone dance clubs and Moonboots. Wow.....