One way of looking at it.
"Seriously, when cis guys and all penis-bearing people in general are expected to tuck their junk, I'll consider it. Otherwise, the expectation starts to sound suspiciously like the notion that body hair on women is "unhygienic", when SOMEHOW it isn't unhygienic for men.
And I realize there's plenty of valid self-interest wrapped up in a decision like that - being visibly trans in public can be outright dangerous, and when people see you as trans, they might stop seeing you as a woman. But it shouldn't be that way. Being recognized as trans shouldn't preclude being recognized as a woman. There are zillions of people who know I'm trans, and know I'm a woman, without any conflict there. . . ."
http://zjemptv.tumblr.com/post/45423364956/and-furthermore (http://zjemptv.tumblr.com/post/45423364956/and-furthermore)
My apologies if this was already posted elsewhere on the boards, but this blog post by Zinnia Jones REALLY connected with me. I am non-op, and I have very little interest in "tucking" once I start presenting as a woman- Zinnia expressed why I feel that way more clearly than I ever could... Check it out:
http://zjemptv.tumblr.com/post/45423364956/and-furthermore (http://zjemptv.tumblr.com/post/45423364956/and-furthermore)
What does everyone think?
She's absolutely right. I think so much of passing (tucking especially) stops being about people wanting to be themselves properly and becomes about everyone else. It reeks of anti-trans*ism like she says the expectation to pass reinforces binary gendered bodies, women have to have vulva's and men are bepenised. If you fail to fit that stereotype you are somehow not a woman, man, or whatever you are; then where this gets really harmful is when this sentiment is internalized by trans* people and the community at large. I've heard plenty of stories of trans* women pass-shaming other trans* women because their posture isn't soft enough, their makeup isn't perfect, or their hair isn't long and pretty enough.
Being trans* already has a whole bucket of body and beauty issues to deal with. I have plenty of problems looking in a mirror without having to imagine what "others" are going to say about me and all those phantom people just serve to make me hate myself and not want to go out side wearing some pretty thing I like because I'm afraid of how I will be perceived.
I still tuck from time to time and I shave all four limbs and my chest, but I don't do it so people will look at me and see a feminine body (that's just a nice bonus) i do it because it makes me feel better about myself, so that when I look in that mirror I see a body that I can love.
And in regards to tucking the best reason I have ever found to do it is to fit in my clothes comfortably.
Quote from: Kia on March 19, 2013, 03:18:21 PM
Being trans* already has a whole bucket of body and beauty issues to deal with. I have plenty of problems looking in a mirror without having to imagine what "others" are going to say about me and all those phantom people just serve to make me hate myself and not want to go out side wearing some pretty thing I like because I'm afraid of how I will be perceived.
YES!!!
I feel the same - in reverse. I don't pack or put anything in my pants to create a bulge. I don't care to create the impression I have that style of junk down there.
The tucking thing is just one example of a bigger issue: The boundaries between how I'd LIKE to present myself once I'm ready to start living as a woman and the compromises I'll make to make my life "easier" and/or feel safer. I'm not even closer to figuring that out.
I experimented with tucking when I was 5 because it made things "right" down there. I did it regularly after puberty hit; being unable to dress or express, it was one or the few things I could do to relieve crushing dysphoria; without tucking I would probably been more drastic in my self harm down there.
Eventually I couldnt tuck any more, until the effects of hormones made it possible to do so comfortably again. This girl will tuck until she doesnt have anything to tuck anymore.
That said, no one ahould feel pressured to present their body presence except in the way that feels natural to them.
Zinnia always speaks so astutely and succinctly! Gets right to the point, and doesn't play around, does she? THIS is what people like about her!
I wish to pick an issue here if I may. As a trans person, and even if I weren't trans...I have a BIG problem with genitalia being referred to as "Junk". Does anyone else feel uncomfortable with this as well? Am I just picking things apart and being anal?