Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora

"Tis easy to wear a smile and stay pleasant when ones life flows along like a sweet song!
But a person worthwhile is the one who can still wear a smile when things in their life go all wrong !"

I believe some people are born with a smile,  :) in other words they tend to smile a lot more than the average person...

Understandably for many here life can be [for want of a better term] a living "hell" and a smile is not what their facial muscles are accustomed to ... :icon_frown:

Whiles for others a smile  :) is in a sense a wholesome 'habit' they can always find something to smile about... :) :) :)

Even just thinking about  :eusa_think: :) smiling makes them smile :)   

So where do you think you fit on the 'smileometer' ?

Are you a compulsive smiler ?  :) :) :) Or a frivolous-less  frowner ? :icon_frown: :icon_frown: :icon_frown:

I bet some are smiling as they read this  :) :)

Metta Zenda :)

Yup, compupsive smiler, that's me! This thread needs a poll. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 17, 2013, 05:41:16 PM
Yup, compupsive smiler, that's me! This thread needs a poll. Hugs, Devlyn

Kia Ora Devlyn,
That's a good idea...You're not just a pretty face  :) ;)

Can you poll it for me, for example  "Smileometer"  A) Compulsive Smiler B) Casual Smiler C) Only when I have to smiler D) A frowner but would like to smile more E) A frowner ...What's there to smile about ?

* Don't Worry I've just seen the "add poll"
Metta Zenda :)

I rarely smile. I practiced in front of a mirror recently and realized my smile is uneven, which made me more self conscious about it. I don't even really laugh it seems.

Quote from: TiffanyT on March 17, 2013, 05:52:19 PM
I rarely smile. I practiced in front of a mirror recently and realized my smile is uneven, which made me more self conscious about it. I don't even really laugh it seems.

I think we're all lopsided that way, one side of my mouth starts to smile before the other side, and no, I'm not having a stroke! I'll bet your uneven smile is cute. Hugs, Devlyn

A frowner - but would like to smile more... shoot - half the time that I think I'm smiling I am not.  ^-^

Though I'm certain that I will one day achieve the goal of smiling more often, I'm afraid that the knotted brow is probably here to stay...

Yay, the poll is up! I was going to go with compulsive smiler, but went with "other" instead. I lucked out and life gave me "stupid grin stuck on your face!"

I smile casually I suppose. It feels good and I especially love when smiling and it makes someone else smile.

My ex was a chronic frowner, and my gf before her was too. I told them that if they just raised the very corners of their mouth, it really brightens their face up.

Of course, they'd insist they didn't want to look "goofy" and they'd make a big toothy grin to prove it..."Not like that", I said..."Just the corners...just enough where your cheeks are beginning to lift up."

No go! They just wouldn't do it...but I do.

It really doesn't help--or else I have other issues that repel people. Oh yeah, I do...well I still smile. Gotta do something right, yes?

Quote from: Beth Andrea on March 17, 2013, 06:19:15 PM
My ex was a chronic frowner, and my gf before her was too. I told them that if they just raised the very corners of their mouth, it really brightens their face up.

Of course, they'd insist they didn't want to look "goofy" and they'd make a big toothy grin to prove it..."Not like that", I said..."Just the corners...just enough where your cheeks are beginning to lift up."

No go! They just wouldn't do it...but I do.

It really doesn't help--or else I have other issues that repel people. Oh yeah, I do...well I still smile. Gotta do something right, yes?

...says the woman with the smile currently lighting up the room!

My resting face is slightly downturned but I am a frequent smiler, I have a lot to smile about.

Take this morning, yes it was raining, yes I've run out of money way before I should and yes I was wearing clothes that were twice as old as the children I teach - but I was going to my parents to see my sister who has been in Australia for two months. You couldn't have stopped me smiling.

Normally I'm a frowner (with no ambition to smile more) but sometimes in certain events I can't stop smiling.  It's annoying.

I smile all the time now.  Even when I am on the phone.  I sound more feminine.

I'm a compulsive smiler, but sometimes I have to force myself to hold one to keep people from knowing what goes on in my head.  One of my friends recently pointed out that the one time he's seen me get angry and swear I was smiling the entire time (My ex and I had just broken up and I was still wrapping my mind around her cheating, so I had plenty to be angry about)

I've learned to keep a pretty tight cap on my emotions so I only express happiness or anything else when I think it's warranted. A few times I burst out laughing in high school at something and the entire classroom would go silent and look at me in horror. I guess they really thought I was a robot.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 17, 2013, 06:22:49 PM
...says the woman with the smile currently lighting up the room!

Thanks Devlyn...*hugs*

Quote from: Padfoot92 on March 17, 2013, 09:40:50 PM
I've learned to keep a pretty tight cap on my emotions so I only express happiness or anything else when I think it's warranted. A few times I burst out laughing in high school at something and the entire classroom would go silent and look at me in horror. I guess they really thought I was a robot.

I almost never laughed in high school...and the kids thought I was stuck up or "retarded"...little did they know about what I was going thru.

Words can be so cruel, even more than the one saying them knows...

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 17, 2013, 06:03:31 PM
Yay, the poll is up! I was going to go with compulsive smiler, but went with "other" instead. I lucked out and life gave me "stupid grin stuck on your face!"

Kia Ora Devlyn,

Be thankful you're not like the Joker  :) ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 17, 2013, 05:58:55 PM
I think we're all lopsided that way, one side of my mouth starts to smile before the other side, and no, I'm not having a stroke! I'll bet your uneven smile is cute. Hugs, Devlyn

I'm not so certain. I don't like to show my teeth either. It's not that there's anything wrong with them, they're all straight and white, no cavities for years. But when people look really happy, they show their teeth. I don't feel like I've earned the right to show that amount of happiness. If that makes sense. I'm jealous of it in a way.

Normal.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1293.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb597%2FTiffanyTPhoto%2Fsmile_zps19116daa.jpg&hash=56fa5cd93b69d1eace66773aa8e8dd35c62b26ca)

Smile.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1293.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb597%2FTiffanyTPhoto%2Fsmile2_zps582c7d37.jpg&hash=ccdcf5a3030dd6ac0cfdd07143b373648b20dde1)

:-\

Tiffany!!!

You have a lovely smile!! It makes your eyes really light up!

^-^

Quote from: TiffanyT on March 17, 2013, 10:25:06 PM
I'm not so certain. I don't like to show my teeth either. It's not that there's anything wrong with them, they're all straight and white, no cavities for years. But when people look really happy, they show their teeth. I don't feel like I've earned the right to show that amount of happiness. If that makes sense. I'm jealous of it in a way.

Normal.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1293.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb597%2FTiffanyTPhoto%2Fsmile_zps19116daa.jpg&hash=56fa5cd93b69d1eace66773aa8e8dd35c62b26ca)

Smile.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1293.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb597%2FTiffanyTPhoto%2Fsmile2_zps582c7d37.jpg&hash=ccdcf5a3030dd6ac0cfdd07143b373648b20dde1)

:-\

Kia Ora Tiffany,

You have a nice boomerang smile, and the more you throw it out, the more it will return...

Remember, smiles are contagious...

Metta Zenda :)

Kia Ora,

Just picked up a bit of info on what makes a 'smile'  :)



"There're a total of 12 muscles that are activated when one smiles. They are the zygomaticus major and minor, the orbicularos occuli, Levator labii superios, Levator anguli oris and risoris!"

What it is that stops people from exercising their smile muscles  ?

Metta Zenda :)

Before beginning transition, although I was a very positive person, I really didn't smile that much. In fact, people often asked me "what's the matter?" even when I was just doing a neutral expression.

But ever since starting transition... oh heck yes!!! I NEVER stop smiling. Because for the first time ever, my smile is actually starting to look cute again, and not just like a stupid fake "guy smile." And having the right hormones in my head is making me SO much happier! Anything amusing gets me giggling like a little school girl, and whenever I make videos of myself I always end up laughing at least once or twice while I'm just talking to the camera. And a couple of days ago, one of my coworkers even said that she remembered me specifically because I was always smiling.

Feels great! One of my new goals in life is to help fill the world with smiles. :D :D

Quote from: TiffanyT on March 17, 2013, 10:25:06 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1293.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb597%2FTiffanyTPhoto%2Fsmile2_zps582c7d37.jpg&hash=ccdcf5a3030dd6ac0cfdd07143b373648b20dde1)

Holy cute! You are gorgeous. Freakin' classy, too, I love it!

Alright makes me happy to see that most people have voted compulsive smilers... I must be in the right place!

Quote from: Carrie Liz on March 18, 2013, 04:13:58 AM
Before beginning transition, although I was a very positive person, I really didn't smile that much. In fact, people often asked me "what's the matter?" even when I was just doing a neutral expression.

But ever since starting transition... oh heck yes!!! I NEVER stop smiling. Because for the first time ever, my smile is actually starting to look cute again, and not just like a stupid fake "guy smile." And having the right hormones in my head is making me SO much happier! Anything amusing gets me giggling like a little school girl,

I'm totally the same way before I started transitioning I didn't smile much if at all. But now most days I can't stop smiling I love to smile and I don't want to stop. ;D

As a youth I didn't smile so much. I just took things far too seriously.

Nowadays I've lightened up like a plane outta fuel and I am definitely a compulsive smiler.

I smile about lots of things all day long, even when I'm alone. I smile at some people as they pass, mainly because they just seem nice. I'm working as a cashier and I smile at everyone I serve.

My own stupidity is a constant source of personal amusement. I'm a really satirical type too and I get heaps of smiles and general bemusement just from thinking about people and the seemingly arbitrary nature of half the crap we do.  ::) :P

I am a very happy person probably a good 95% of the time, but I just don't always smile all the time. I do smile when I see something cute, or see/hear something funny. I also talk to myself a lot when I am walking down the street or something and if I say something that I find amusing I am not self-conscious at all to be that crazy person smiling or laughing hysterically on the street or on the train.


@Tiffany, you are gorgeous and you have a beautiful smile, no need to be self-conscious!  :)

I put other. I only smile when there is something to smile about. Granted, I seem to smale almost all the time.  ;D

Quote from: Brooke777 on March 18, 2013, 06:09:04 PM
I put other. I only smile when there is something to smile about. Granted, I seem to smale almost all the time.  ;D

Kia Ora Brooke,

::) So it would seem, you're boardering on an obsessive compulsive smiler-You need to 'seriously' get something done about it  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :) 

Quote from: Kuan Yin on March 19, 2013, 10:52:33 PM
Kia Ora Brooke,

::) So it would seem, you're boardering on an obsessive compulsive smiler-You need to 'seriously' get something done about it  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Actually, my boss helped me out with my little problem. Last week he informed me that at the end of this month I will be losing my job. I haven't smiled as much this week.

I don't smile or frown, I have a neutral face. I can't show emotions. Been told I need to smile more or been asked why I look sad or what's wrong and usually I tell people - that's just my face, can't do much about it. Some laugh some think I'm weird, meh smiling is overrated.

Quote from: Brooke777 on March 21, 2013, 09:26:29 AM
Actually, my boss helped me out with my little problem. Last week he informed me that at the end of this month I will be losing my job. I haven't smiled as much this week.

Oh No Brooke.  Did they tell you why?

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on March 21, 2013, 11:03:29 AM
Oh No Brooke.  Did they tell you why?

I am an engineer, and for the past two years I have been using one technician to put into effect all of my designs. Well, they hired him as a full time engineer, and since I am a contract employee, they have decided they no longer can afford my contract.

Well that is BS.  They could have hired you full time.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on March 21, 2013, 02:40:40 PM
Well that is BS.  They could have hired you full time.

No, the upper management will not hire an engineer who does not have a four year degree. That rules me out.

I never have smiled a lot.  When I worked for one publisher I would go to the convention where we met (and sold) to the bookstores and I would be forced to smile all day long, my face would hurt by the end of the day.

I do smile a little more since transition but it still isn't natural for me.

Quote from: Brooke777 on March 21, 2013, 03:32:48 PM
No, the upper management will not hire an engineer who does not have a four year degree. That rules me out.

Well they better give you one hell of a reference.

Quote from: Brooke777 on March 21, 2013, 03:32:48 PM
No, the upper management will not hire an engineer who does not have a four year degree. That rules me out.

Kia Ora Brooke,

Sorry to hear this...

But don't get caught in the trap of dwelling in the past... Opportunity is knocking at the door right NOW....

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Kuan Yin on March 21, 2013, 11:06:47 PM
Kia Ora Brooke,

Sorry to hear this...

But don't get caught in the trap of dwelling in the past... Opportunity is knocking at the door right NOW....

Metta Zenda :)

Yeah, I'm not dwelling in the past. I'm worried about the future. I know I have food today, and a roof over my head for me and my son. But, I don't know what will happen at the end of next month. Right now, I could not care less about the past. It's all about the future.

I tend to wear my heart on my face. It's especially convenient when I am wearing a sleeveless dress (or nothing at all). If I wore my heart on my sleeve, I'm sure I'd lose it in the laundry pile.

I clicked 'compulsive smiler', but it isn't a compulsion. Its just my face reflecting my thoughts.
I have a joy smile
an appreciation of beauty smile
a grateful smile
a hopeful smile
a laughing at the ridiculousness of life smile
an ironic smile
a friendly smile
an inviting smile
a questioning smile
a wondering smile
a delight filled smile
a sad but hopeful smile
a so happy to see you and I can tell you are hurting smile so come here
and the smile I make that you cannot see, when I am hugging you

 gettin off topic, but kia perhaps its a good time to finish up your degree. Engineering jobs are always needed, you'd be set for life! I'm saying this because I am finally  attending nursing school after a similar "oppourtunity" presented itself. I thought there'd be no way to do it, but I trudged on and found a way. Its a lot like our respective transitions...insurmountable at a glance, but doable one step at a time.  :)

Quote from: TiffanyT on March 17, 2013, 10:25:06 PM
Smile.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1293.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb597%2FTiffanyTPhoto%2Fsmile2_zps582c7d37.jpg&hash=ccdcf5a3030dd6ac0cfdd07143b373648b20dde1)

Tiffany, with a smile like that, you don't need to show teeth. It's just beautiful. People should be falling all over themselves to get to know you...

Quote from: Carrie Liz on March 18, 2013, 04:13:58 AM
Before beginning transition, although I was a very positive person, I really didn't smile that much. In fact, people often asked me "what's the matter?" even when I was just doing a neutral expression.

But ever since starting transition... oh heck yes!!! I NEVER stop smiling. Because for the first time ever, my smile is actually starting to look cute again, and not just like a stupid fake "guy smile." And having the right hormones in my head is making me SO much happier! Anything amusing gets me giggling like a little school girl, and whenever I make videos of myself I always end up laughing at least once or twice while I'm just talking to the camera. And a couple of days ago, one of my coworkers even said that she remembered me specifically because I was always smiling.

Feels great! One of my new goals in life is to help fill the world with smiles. :D :D

I think that's interesting...I don't know if it has more to do with the "right hormones" being in your head or estrogen specifically (probably both) but I recently read a study that concluded men (presumably cismen) with lower T levels tended to be seen as more "genuine" when they smiled, even though men with higher T counts were perceived as more social on average.

I'm MAAB, and I'm not on hormones at least at this point...and I find I am a natural smiler, but I also think some people don't really know what to do make of it. Most people tell me I have a nice smile, and even go out of their way to say it, but other people have said it doesn't look genuine. And that's probably true. I tend towards feeling sad in general.  :(

In high school they called me the person who "was always smiling" and used to say a sad me "just didn't make any sense", even though I was very depressed back then.

But it's not like I put it on to be fake or anything...I wasn't even aware I was like this till I started seeing videos of myself. It just kind of comes naturally when I relate to people. Perhaps it is some kind of defense mechanism.

Or a part of me hopes, maybe, if I keep on smiling and trying to make the best of things my emotions will change for the better as well. There is some optimist buried deep down inside me that just won't die. My username is proof enough of that. ;)

So keep smiling. I wish the world was more full of them too.  ;D

Quote from: Brooke777 on March 22, 2013, 09:39:19 AM
Yeah, I'm not dwelling in the past. "I'm worried about the future". I know I have food today, and a roof over my head for me and my son. But, I don't know what will happen at the end of next month. Right now, I could not care less about the past. It's all about the future.

Kia Ora Brooke,

It's all about 'NOW' ! The future is continually unfolding into the present moment...

"Those who fear they shall suffer, already suffer what they fear !" Montaigne

Good luck with job hunting Brooke, " Opportunity knocks and is waiting patiently "

Metta Zenda :)
 

Quote from: Kuan Yin on March 23, 2013, 12:13:35 AM
Kia Ora Brooke,

It's all about 'NOW' ! The future is continually unfolding into the present moment...

"Those who fear they shall suffer, already suffer what they fear !" Montaigne

Good luck with job hunting Brooke, " Opportunity knocks and is waiting patiently "

Metta Zenda :)

I love Montaigne, lovely.

I do love to smile, but I find that other people tend to smile first at me when I present as a woman (as opposed to hardly making eye contact to my guy presentation). I can simply look at children and they would smile or even wave or say 'hello', which is such a big change from other people just returning my own smiles! I love it.

 In public, I smile if I see that the moment is correct to do so, often as a formality, or even as the answer to a request (people ask/tell me to smile every now and then).

With my family, I will smile when there's humour going on. This is quite often, as I am extremely hilarious around them.

Kia Ora,

It would seem for the most part, smiling and frowning are 'habits'... One wholesome in that it releases feel good chemicals in the brain  the other not so wholesome producing stress and tension...

Metta Zenda :)

Well I am an other. I don't really smile or frown for the most part. I'm more neutral. I used to apparently look pissed off all the time when I was in school. My brother had the same habit, but I guess now I have the neutral mysterious look to me. I became good at hiding what I'm thinking, feeling, wanting by not making a face at all.

As a note which may or may not have been pointed out: The difference between passing and not sometimes is as simple as the right smile, at least for MTF. Males as a general rule don't have a smiley neutral expression, whereas a lot of females do. I've heard this is due to the historically inferior roles females had to males, ie we needed to use persuasion rather than aggression to get our way. ;) But it's true. Also, we thinner lasses can have a problem with our faces looking a little gaunt and hence showing more male bone structure. A small smile rounds your cheeks and negates a lot of that. Check it out in the mirror.

Oh, to answer the question, although I'm always female inside, I am a scowler  :-\ when I'm presenting as male, and a smiler  ^-^ when I'm presenting as female.

Quote from: MiaOhMya! on March 22, 2013, 10:36:52 PM
gettin off topic, but kia Brooke perhaps its a good time to finish up your degree. Engineering jobs are always needed, you'd be set for life! I'm saying this because I am finally  attending nursing school after a similar "oppourtunity" presented itself. I thought there'd be no way to do it, but I trudged on and found a way. Its a lot like our respective transitions...insurmountable at a glance, but doable one step at a time.  :)

Kia Ora MOM,

True...

However, the person's name is Brooke, she's the one who works in the engineering field ....But I'm sure she'll read your comment anyway...

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: MiaOhMya! on March 22, 2013, 10:36:52 PM
gettin off topic, but kia perhaps its a good time to finish up your degree. Engineering jobs are always needed, you'd be set for life! I'm saying this because I am finally  attending nursing school after a similar "oppourtunity" presented itself. I thought there'd be no way to do it, but I trudged on and found a way. Its a lot like our respective transitions...insurmountable at a glance, but doable one step at a time.  :)

I never went to school for engineering. I actually just do it because it is really easy and pays well. Whenever I do go back to school, I will be going to get my PhD in psychotherapy. That is where my true passion lies. As for finding a job, I am a bit worried but that is because most employers see me as over qualified and won't hire me. I have an...impressive work history. As soon as I find someone that will give me a chance I will be fine. Thank you for the suggestion though.