I love a wide variety of fashion. A lot of times, I enjoy female clothing. I don't wear these types of clothes, though. For many reasons. For when thing, I get stalked if I walk down the street in cute clothes. On top of that, when I am dressed as a female, I tend to act more masculine and aggressive. I'm not sure why. I usually just wear gender-neutral clothes and let people call me what they want. I very rarely get stalked when doing this, but I find myself daydreaming about wearing a cute outfit some day.
How do you choose what to wear? And how does what you wear effect you (if it does)?
If you've got somewhere to be and/or are with someone else, that should cut down on people following you. Incidentally, that's about the only way I'll be in a dress -- I'm kind of worried being "in public" in an environment where I wouldn't feel safe or accepted, especially by myself. At the same time, I don't tend to just hang out or wander around in public very much (nor do I have a strong desire to), so that helps.
For a while, if you're kind of nervous when you're dressing "cute" (especially if it isn't socially accepted, but even if it is, it can happen), then that can translate to more anxious (and potentially aggressive) behavior. It's likely something where you'll calm down after a while (not so much after a few minutes, but after many occasions) -- it is something I've experienced with clothes, as well as issues that aren't so confounded with gender... and I think it is something I believe is true for others.
In sort of a stereotypically-bachelor male fashion, one of the ways the clothes issue occasionally pops up is when I'm out of clean outer clothes, and I lament having to do laundry instead of "just" wearing a dress. It's not really that common of an issue, but it's amusing/disappointing when it does pop up.
I'm kind of weird like that.
I just go day-by-day and dress however masculinely/androgynously/femininely I feel like I want to look that morning. I don't really change my behavior. Then again, I don't think I've ever been stalked or harassed on the street (or if I did, I was oblivious).
Maybe you're acting more aggressive when presenting in a feminine way to ward off people who assume (due to sexism in our society) that being dressed that way means you're "asking" to be stalked or harassed. I mean, I think that's fine--kind of a way of balancing your gender identity with your outward presentation, maybe--as long as wearing feminine clothes doesn't make you feel inherently threatened or afraid.
Thank you both for your reponses. :) They make a lot of sense. I'm slowly starting to be less confused about myself.
I'm like you; I like wearing clothes that are as gender neutral as possible. (Isn't always realistic for me, but I dress this way as often as I can.) But for me, that's my ideal; it distances me from both strongly masculine and feminine presentations, both of which I am uncomfortable with.
Still, I have fewer emotional issues with wearing strongly feminine clothing, cause I'm MAAB; it doesn't feel like anyone is "forcing" very feminine clothing on me...it's something I'm doing on my own terms. I've found parties and things like that can be good opportunities for doing that in public; people often assume you are just "having fun" or "joking around", while you are (secretly or otherwise) simply enjoying expressing yourself.
I've also turned up at "hippie bars" and places like that wearing full makeup (not super girly, but definitely not the "male", subtle, enhancing sort of makeup) and no one has said anything. If you just want to express aspects of femininity, it's also less likely that you'll get harassed. People might assume you're part of some sort of subculture, while (again) you enjoy the luxury of expressing yourself. But then, I may live in a slightly more liberal area.