I have been living as a full time trans woman for many years now. But I have always been keen to promote the idea that, for some people part time is suitable and is an honorable choice. However, some fellow full time trans women seem to not feel the same way. Maybe they feel insecure, that their own need for full time can be negated by another who chooses part time? I think everyone is different, and supporting others cannot negate your own existence.
What do you people think?
I agree with you. I'm all for people doing what makes them happy. If that's what really makes them happy I say why not
I imagine their thoughts are probably along the lines of "these people treat it like a costume" or whatever.
I do not care what other trans people do.
Hi,
I have come across a good number of Trans people who wont accept others who are different & act in a way i did not think they would well an eye opener so iv backed away from many trans people because of that,
Some years ago i thought i may be able to help others ,well not so. does not mean i was not able to there have been a few that have accepted my help. just there seems to be a hard core who think they are better than any one else . look out if you are different, as i am,
is it jelosusy or i have what they wont so dont accept you any way, or i look different dont pass or blend in as they think you should or things have gone so well for you they cant handle you as a person,
What ever thier reason i'v been on thier backlash & they dont wont myself around them , so i.v backed off & i cant be bothered being around them any more,
My difference im intersexed, involved with women only groups plus many others with in a membership of over 1000 people & world wide, well known for who i am & a very public person. I'v worked very hard to get where i am now & if those who dont wont to be around me then ill just say i have ..MY.... real friends ......& family,
This fulltime liveing as a woman , i see this in a different way, im female & iv grown into a woman i did not change from male to female or female to male its not posible, because of how im born so maybe that has a bearing , it still comes down to non acceptance pity though they may learn something of value,
And i sure make friends very easyerly where ever i go. So those trans who cant get on with others who are different then why do i have so many neat lovely friends yet have only very few trans friends, i think its very strange, well thats how it is for me & thats over 18 years, & i had quite a bit to do with the trans community,
...noeleena...
I think two axioms best sum up how I feel about this.
QuoteTo each their own
Quote from: Wiccan RedeAnd it harm none, do what thy wilt
Whatever makes you happy. Why should I care unless you're complaining about it and asking me for advice?
Well, not going full time can be (and I'm not saying "always is") a sign of insecurity, of a lack of readiness to take on the change in gender roles. In such a case it calls for further investigation to make sure the person isn't just overdoing their crossdressing and about to make a huge mistake, for example.
Personally I have trouble understanding the wish not to be full-time, but then again, I have not been in the situations that push people to do it. It's really hard to be giving opinions on things you don't understand well.
Quote from: A on March 23, 2013, 10:50:58 AM
Well, not going full time can be (and I'm not saying "always is") a sign of insecurity, of a lack of readiness to take on the change in gender roles. In such a case it calls for further investigation to make sure the person isn't just overdoing their crossdressing and about to make a huge mistake, for example.
Personally I have trouble understanding the wish not to be full-time, but then again, I have not been in the situations that push people to do it. It's really hard to be giving opinions on things you don't understand well.
this is very true. its why i dont ever go to trans meetings anymore because questions like this would come up and cause arguments. i know this one and the debate about those not wanting srs but still all the same rights (ex if they go to jail) come up often. and being im awful at arguing points i tend to avoid these kinds of situations as i have herd many others say this is why they avoid them too. mainly like you said its hard to talk about something you dont understand and i will be the 2nd to say im totally clueless and dont understand it.
Quote from: Trans Truth on March 22, 2013, 10:50:18 PM
some fellow full time trans women seem to not feel the same way. ?
Really? you have any evidence on this or any other forum, can you produce a thread? posting?
If you don't mind one of the boys chiming in. I feel whatever makes these people happy as long as they aren't looking down on or bashing others for their decisions regarding the issue. I don't buy into the "trans enough" attitude. As a trans man who may never get lower surgery due to the cost and lack of medical advancement in the area, I feel I have no right to judge how others are trans, even if that means being part time. Sometimes it just isn't safe to be full time or to be out to literally everyone, especially if one is not passing.
I've never heard any of the full-timers in my group say anything against part-time, which is essentially what I and few others were/are. In fact, just the opposite in a way. Their philosophy and encouragement has always been towards, "Do what works FOR YOU" and don't let others and especially yourself pressure you into something else".
About the only controversy I've ever heard from full-timers is the age old question of Stealth or Public? Again, in my group, there is no preaching.
Quote from: JoanneB on March 23, 2013, 03:50:26 PM
I've never heard any of the full-timers in my group say anything against part-time, which is essentially what I and few others were/are. In fact, just the opposite in a way. Their philosophy and encouragement has always been towards, "Do what works FOR YOU" and don't let others and especially yourself pressure you into something else".
yeah, this^^^ also applies to the allegations that there are "people who think they are "holier-than-thou" because they have had SRS, and they are the "true TS""
Then the whole forum gets all work out out of nothing...it is like emotional diarrhea over hallucinations
Quote from: peky on March 23, 2013, 06:35:07 PM
it is like emotional diarrhea over hallucinations
That.......is an epic statement!
Yeah if your not all that passable I can really understand the part time angle. I mean you have to survive and I don't think anything is wrong with being part time even more so if your trying to keep your job.
Hmmm. I think you're either a transsexual person or you're not. Lots of people are transgender though and that's just dandy. "Part-time" weekends, fetishists, cross dressers, drag queens etc. good for them.
Quote from: Tristan on March 23, 2013, 11:00:39 AM
i know this one and the debate about those not wanting srs but still all the same rights (ex if they go to jail) come up often. and being im awful at arguing points i tend to avoid these kinds of situations as i have herd many others say this is why they avoid them too.
I never avoid this one. Everyone should have equal rights, not to mention that SRS based rights are totally against the idea of social justice because most TS cannot afford SRS. In fact, if the debate were to come to increased rights for the post-SRS or no increase in rights at all, I would always back the latter.
Quote from: Isabelle on March 23, 2013, 08:34:56 PM
Hmmm. I think you're either a transsexual person or you're not. Lots of people are transgender though and that's just dandy. "Part-time" weekends, fetishists, cross dressers, drag queens etc. good for them.
It's really not that simple, from my 13 years of observations in the trans community. There's a lot of people trapped by life situations, and it's morally wrong not to acknowledge this point. There's really no clear demarcation between TS and the 'other TG types' one can make, and those who insist that the TS group can be separated out often only say so because they are insecure and use it as a 'more trans than thou' substitute, from my experience.
Transsexual=medical term. Transgender=cultural term.
Also, maybe it's just a phrase you're using but, why are you "keen to promote" other people half transitioning? I don't even know what you mean by "part-time"? Can someone be a part time diabetic? Are some people more trans than others? Absolutely. Transsexuals are more transsexual, transgender people are more transgender, crossdressers are more crossdresserish, drag queens are more drag queenie. That's why people came up with and self identify with these terms.
Quote from: Trans Truth on March 22, 2013, 10:50:18 PM
I have been living as a full time trans woman for many years now. But I have always been keen to promote the idea that, for some people part time is suitable and is an honorable choice. However, some fellow full time trans women seem to not feel the same way. Maybe they feel insecure, that their own need for full time can be negated by another who chooses part time? I think everyone is different, and supporting others cannot negate your own existence.
What do you people think?
It is important to remember that everybody's circumstances are different, and that may necessitate a presentation other than full-time. We need to keep in mind one of the most basic rules we have here:
Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any others is not allowed.
This is to help ensure that all who fall under the transgender umbrella are welcome.
I always tend toward letting others do what makes them happy/what they must do in order to get by. Life can be tough even if you have it all; if you are less fortunate in some ways (not passable, living in a dangerous area/country, not having a good job or a lot of money, meaning if you lose your job, you'll be skrewed, etc), I will not judge you if you have to drag in work or social situations. If you are transgender but you cannot express it outwardly, then that's your business and right, and you'll get nothing from me but my blessing.
Personally, I move between a very liberal city and country and a very homophobic country twice a year, plus a lot of travel to inhospitable countries in between. Since I am not (and am not interested in) 100% passing, which is what I would require in order to be physically safe, and I am not willing to curtail my travels (as opposed to moving to say, san fran, and letting it all hang out as I want all the time), I compromise and get back in male drag when I have to. I know what I am on the inside, which is a full time woman who sometimes has to drag as a male. To be looked askance at that choice by a 100% passable transgendered girl is as silly as if I were to suggest to that same girl she's not doing it right because she can't afford her SRS surgery whereas I could, and did.
Quote from: Isabelle on March 24, 2013, 12:35:02 AM
Also, maybe it's just a phrase you're using but, why are you "keen to promote" other people half transitioning? I don't even know what you mean by "part-time"? Can someone be a part time diabetic? Are some people more trans than others? Absolutely. Transsexuals are more transsexual, transgender people are more transgender, crossdressers are more crossdresserish, drag queens are more drag queenie. That's why people came up with and self identify with these terms.
THerefore a "Real Diabetic" is exactly what?
THere are many non insulin dependant diabetics out there. It is kept under control by being careful with your diet. So by your rationale they aren't really diabetic. By the same logic, even if they only need insulin occassionally.
A TG, by extension from 3-4 y/o or whenever the first inkling of TS feelings come to them are not TSs if the do not transition to full time. But wait, how is it really diangonsed? WPATH has several classifications for transexuals as well as transgenders. Where do you draw the line? Personal circumstances like being a kid under parents control. Or, not able or wanting to follow the full transition route for other religious, familial or personal reasons later in life. Or trying damn hard not to let the dyphoria control their life, much like a diabetics, for decades untill a point comes you need some relief, or the occasional shot of insulin.
My personal opinion on this matter is that I know who I am. I cannot imagine living life as anyone else but me. Sure there was a transition period but it was just that; a transition from one to another. The thing is, I didn't change WHO I am and can never change my past. Pulling off my previous experience does not make me in any way "less transitioned" and therefore "part time". On the contrary, I think it makes you MORE transitioned to incorporate ALL of your life experiences into your new role. With that said, I am a woman who can fix her own car when it breaks and can build just about anything and loves to get out and get dirty in nature but most importantly can do it all without sacrificing who she is in doing so.
I do not want to come across as looking down on anyone or saying that they are not "trans" enough. I just cannot fathom saying that I have reached my goal and yet have to live 2 different lives. This is fine during the transition process but I can't see it being a fulfilling goal in and of itself. BUT, and this is very important, these are just my thoughts. I cannot pretend to know the reasonings or motivations of others and just because I do not accept something for myself, does NOT mean I cannot accept it in others. To each their own. :)
Quote from: Isabelle on March 24, 2013, 12:35:02 AM
I don't even know what you mean by "part-time"? Can someone be a part time diabetic? Are some people more trans than others? Absolutely. Transsexuals are more transsexual, transgender people are more transgender, crossdressers are more crossdresserish, drag queens are more drag queenie. That's why people came up with and self identify with these terms.
Yeah, I agree with Isabelle. You really can't be a part-time transsexual. After awhile on HRT, especially if it effects you well, you pass a point of no return where you're full-time whether you want to be or not. You can't just turn it off and go back to being a boy or man if you want to. You can try, but more then likely, the world at large will still view as female. That is the point, isn't it?
Sad.... If alienation and discrimination from society wasen't enough to deal with. Some are forced to fight within their own group and belittled within it because they have not attained some 'goal' or physical change due to medications or surgery. "your not really 'blank' because'' ... (sic). It's no wonder Tansgender rights are ten years behind Gay and Lesbians. Ones mind is who and what one is irrespective of physiology, any other changes effected are nothing more then icing on the cake. None in the TG spectrum are more or less relevant from my viewpoint. To me a Transsexual is someone who feels they are in the wronge physical body period. Pre, post or Non-op makes no difference.
Isn't there enough intolerance already out there for us without having to deal with more of it here!?!
"Isn't there enough intolerance already out there for us without having to deal with more of it here!?!"
Indeed, there is. Susan's Place is where everyone can come for respect, the question of respecting others needn't be asked. This thread is locked.