How do you get past being too nervous or shy to tell people you know that you're trans? I want them to be able to know why I run off seemingly at random when a bunch of them talk to me at once, because it just looks like I'm a really shy, socially awkward girl to them. Tips on how to be able to just flat-out say it without beating around the bush and speaking in riddles so they have no idea what you're trying to say or having such a bad knot in your stomach that you think you'll start painting the walls with vomit if you try to say it?
It sounds like you might not yet be ready to tell anyone. Hang in there, the nerves to do so will grow with time. It is okay not to tell everyone at once.
You'll get there someday. It just may not be the right time yet. Have you thought about telling just a few people you trust who could help you come out to the others? Trying to tell a large group at once is much more stressful than just telling one or a few. It feels more personal and less like you're performing on stage. It took me a long while and quite a few run-throughs in my head before I was ready to tell anyone at all.
Thing is, I've told a bunch of people. It was confined to a tiny group for a bit, but now a good number of the people I see every day know. Problem is, I managed to do that by leaving the coming out part for Facebook to take care of among the people I friended, and the aftermath of questions for me to answer once they knew were carried out in person. Why? I'm horribly awkward at breaking news to people because some part of me fears they'll grab the nearest piece of plywood and start hitting me with it >_>
I wouldn't add the people in question on facebook, just because they're younger, kind of silly, and I don't feel quite as close to them. I've left it at friends- people I know in my current year at school, and others who have graduated or don't attend the same school. I've always felt the most nervous around people younger than me, even if the difference is less than a year. My nerves tend to stick, because they seem to be hereditary and only out of insane, impulsive thinking do they get pushed aside. I wish that would happen now because I absolutely despise having them know me as a girl.
Maybe I should type up a letter, print out a bunch of personalized copies, hand it to each of them, and then run away awkwardly until the following day. My written word tends to get the message across much better, because words won't stammer or meander from the point they're trying to make. The afterwards thing I can do, just not the direct coming out. Dunno why.
Letter is a good idea - I did that.. Technically I emailed! The best part was I didn't have to be there, I added places/websites they could read info about transsexualism and they could come and talk to me after they were ready. Worked really well. I'm especially inarticulate on the phone or in person - I too was way, way better off writing it all out for them. I laid it all out logically and it did, it worked really well for me. But I'm over the age of 25 as are most of my friends - it sounds like you're still at school so just be careful.. Kids can be cruel. (Not to imply you're friends are too young or immature, just a word of caution - make sure if you're going to lay your soul out for them they will be gentle with it yeah :)).
Good luck mate
The letter is a good idea. It gives you a chance to go over everything before they see it so you get to say what you really mean clearly. I used e-mail for a few of my friends because it's easier to click on a link than it is to type it all in or Google it. Good luck whichever way you choose!
I am indeed in school. The night I took that risk and made a Facebook, then a coming out post, then added some people in one fell swoop, I thought I was going to die out of sheer anxiety, didn't sleep the entire night. But they were awesome about it and I somehow got coaxed into telling people I'd never dare say it to in real life, who were also awesome about it.
A letter just noting that I'm trans and giving a small Q&A would avoid me saying anything, but I'd have to bolt out of the vicinity in order to not watch them read it, lest I crawl off into the corner and assume the fetal position while they do so. My nerves are pathetic, it' a wonder how impulse ever overrides it, let alone how it does that so frequently so I come off as the silent but reckless character :P
Don't have their emails, but luckily I have a whole vacation to work out what I'll say. Thank you, spring break!